


Just Another Day for John & Lexi, Part. 1

by jldreyer



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-02
Updated: 2012-01-02
Packaged: 2017-10-28 19:15:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 41
Words: 93,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/311297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jldreyer/pseuds/jldreyer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just another day for John and Lexi</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Stargate Atlantis, the dialogue from the show or the characters, they are owned by MGM. Dr. Alexa (Lexi) Carter is my own original character. I have tried to research the medical jargon as much as possible, so if any of it is incorrect, I apologize. It might help to have read The Colonel & Dr. Carter. Enjoy.
> 
> © Jennifer Dreyer, 2009-2010

  


The minute the Jumper landed on the Daedalus, Keller jumped out of her seat. Reaching the back of the Jumper, she feels everyone else's eyes on her but she doesn't pay them any attention as all she wants to do is get to the infirmary as soon as possible. Letting out a sigh of relief as the hatch starts to lower, she shouts to the medics waiting for the group, "transfer the Major to the infirmary and get a scan of his leg. Rodney, let them clean those cuts." as she bolts for the doors leading out of the flight bay.

Entering the infirmary, she takes in the scene, which not surprisingly is complete controlled chaos. Ronon is kneeling on the ground basically supporting John's upper body, as the onboard medics try to pry the gun out of his hand, maneuver him out of his TAC vest and get his vitals all at the same time. Scanning her eyes over him quickly, she realizes that even though he is on the verge of passing out, he has yet to let go of the gun and is still holding himself rigid.

Rushing to his left side, "make room!" she shouts, and as she kneels down next to him, her eyes lock with his half open ones, "Colonel, you can let go now, we've got you."

Nodding his head slightly, his body goes limp and as the gun falls out of his hand, his eyes slide shut all the way.

Reaching for his wrist, grimacing, "well he's, I wouldn't say fine. But, let's get him on the gurney."

Letting the onboard medics pick John up, but still hovering close by, "doc?"

Watching with a critical eye as John is transferred to the gurney, "he needs a lot of work, but he'll be okay." and hitting her radio, as she watches Ronon glaring at the nurse who is trying to get him to follow her, "Colonel Carter come in please."

"Go ahead doctor."

Walking towards John's side, "Colonel, I just wanted to tell you that Colonel Sheppard is grounded. He's going to be fine, but I've got to get him into surgery."

"Thank you Jennifer. Carter out." and as the radio shuts off, she smiles as she sees John's eyes fluttering open, "Colonel are you with us?"

Pushing the nurse who is still trying to get him to sit down out of the way, as he also sees John's eyes opeinging, "Sheppard?"

Slightly nodding his head, "yeah…I'm with you."

Smiling, "good." and looking over at Ronon, "let the nurse have a look at you, while I take care of him."

Nodding, Ronon finally lets the nurse guide him to the gurney next to John's but scowls at her again, as she forces him to stop watching John.

Smirking a little as he sees the scowl Ronon gives the nurse, John refocuses on Keller, who is rummaging around for what looks like a lot of supplies. His attention wavers for a moment and the next thing he knows, he's got an IV in his left arm, along with a blood pressure cuff wrapped around the same arm and Keller is standing next to him reaching for the hem of his shirt.

Keeping an eye on John while she was rummaging around for the supplies, Keller had not missed him fading in and out,  _it's a good thing Lexi's not here._  and reaching for the hem of his shirt, she realizes that his eyes have focused on her.

Pulling the field dressing off and placing it on the nearby table, keeping her eyes on him, "I thought we'd lost you there." and grabbing a wet gauze pad, she reaches down to begin cleaning and inspecting the wound.

Looking at her, "yeah, well, for a second I thought we'd lost me." and as he looks away from her, his breathing hitching, "it's gonna be ok, though, right?"

"Yeah. You need some serious work but you should, you know, live to fight another day and all that."

"So, what's going on? I guess Michael showed up before the Daedalus, huh?"

Turning back to him, "yeah." and leaning over again, wiping away some more blood and debris with a new piece of gauze, "we had to lower the shields to beam you up here."

Grimacing and talking through some more shallow breaths, "sorry about that."

She looks him in the eyes and looking back down at what she is doing, "well, I'm sure McKay and Colonel Carter will be able to fix it."

His eyes lock on hers, shock evident on his face, "McKay's alive?'

She smiles a little, "yeah." and remembering the men that didn't make it out, her smile fades, "yeah, he and Lorne were the only two to make it out of the rubble."

Looking away from her, he starts to shift in the bed as if he thinks he's going to get out of it, "patch me up. I need to get back out there."

Placing her left hand on his shoulder, "what? No-no-no. Look, you will be fine, but you're far from it now. You've lost a lot of blood. You need surgery and a transfusion. I mean this can't wait."

Settling down and watching her pull her hand away from his shoulder, reaching for more gauze, "look, Doc, Michael's here...that means Teyla's probably on the ship. I'm too close to sit here and do nothing."

"You're not gonna be sitting around doing nothing. You're gonna be laying here in surgery."

Shifting on the gurney again, "look, there's gotta be..." he trails off as he's now trying to sit up, but having no luck, he sinks back down on the gurney and rolling his eyes, "there's gotta be a quick fix."

"No!" she says, the annoyance turning to exasperation.

Resting his head against the pillow, obviously exhausted, "I need a few hours."

Staring at him, she sees the pain in his eyes and not being able to handle it, she turns to go get the ball rolling on setting up the surgery, "I'm sorry I can't."

Quickly sitting forward, grasping her arm and locking eyes with her again, "I have had a chance to rescue a teammate before and it slipped through my hands. I am not letting that happen again." he says, slumping against the pillow, the burst of energy having taken quite a lot out of him.

Looking down at his blood stained hand still wrapped tightly around her arm, she can feel the tremors running through his body. Her eyes drift from him to the monitors and inwardly sighing, as the readings are nowhere near where she would like them to be,  _on the one hand, he's right. Teyla is on that ship and if anyone can get her back it's him_. and focusing on him again,  _yeah, but he's in no shape to go off and try to rescue her. You should sedate the hell out of him and get him into surgery now!_

Gently pulling his hand off her arm, coming to her decision, "okay, Colonel. I'll compromise with you."

Smiling at her with a glint of hope in his eyes, "what're you offering?"

Returning the smile, "you can go, but before you do, you will let me replace some of the blood and fluids you lost." and watching him, waiting for a protest, she continues on as he stays quiet, "I'm also going to give you some antibiotics and pain meds."

"Will the pain meds make me fuzzy?" he asks, concern etched across his forehead.

Shaking her head, "no they won't. But, Colonel, I."

"Okay. Deal."

Realizing that she is not going to talk him out of this, she nods and heads over to the nearest cabinet to grab a suture kit, bandages and a syringe of local anesthetic. She heads back over to the bed and as she hooks her foot around the stool that is behind her so she can sit on it, she catches a medics eye, "I need 5 mg of Tramdol, Vancomycin, and a liter of O neg."

Focusing on John's side, she doesn't miss the fact that he is in the middle of a conversation with Ronon. Blocking it out, as she injects the local anesthetic into his side, she grimaces to herself at the flinch of his body, as she pricks him with the needle. Swabbing the wound one more time and picking up the needle and thread, she sees out of the corner of her eye that the medic is hooking up the liter of blood to his left arm, as well as injecting the Tramdol and the Vancomycin into his IV.

xxxx

An hour later, as she is finishing up the stitches and bandaging the site, she looks up to see Ronon sitting on the bed next to John's with a smirk on his face.

Looking from him to John, she sees why he is smirking. John is asleep. Shifting her gaze back to Ronon, "Ronon, do me a favor."

"What?" he asks, as he comes up to the other side of the gurney.

"Can you go scrounge up a new t-shirt and over shirt for him."

Nodding, he turns on his heel and disappears from her sight. Refocusing on John, she smiles a little at the fact that some of his color is coming back and he is not breathing as shallow as he was, earlier. But as her gaze moves to the monitors, her smile fades, as his pulse and temp are still not anywhere close to normal and she knows that all she has done by patching him up is delay the inevitable.

Sighing, she stands up and cleans up the mess that she made, as she was suturing up the wound. Taking a seat again, she lets her eyes settle on him and she feels a smile spread across her lips as she watches him sleeping, "you really are something else, John Sheppard." she says under her breath.

She looks up from him as Ronon comes to a stop at the foot of the bed. Seeing the look on his face, "what's wrong."

"The battle's not going well. If we're gonna do this, we've gotta do it now."

Understanding that time is of the essence, she stands up and as she gently shakes John, "Colonel, you need to wake up now."

Bleary hazel eyes open at her voice and noticing that he's having a hard time focusing on her, "John, look at me. I need you to focus." she says, placing her left hand on his shoulder.

"Mmm..up" he slurs and then his eyes focus sharply on Ronon, "hey buddy, those for me?" he asks, the slurring almost completely gone.

"Yeah...here. We've got to go find McKay."

Sitting up and pulling the pulse ox monitor off his finger, "hey doc, help me here, please."

Watching him sitting up, she reaches for the IV and takes it out. She then reaches for the buttons of his over shirt and unbuttons it. Helping him shift out of it, she reaches for the hem of the t-shirt and as she pulls it over his head, she doesn't miss the hiss that comes out of his mouth. Catching the look in his eyes, as the shirt finally comes off though, she simply helps him into the new ones.

Stepping back to let him swing his legs over the side of the bed, she doesn't miss the color draining from his face as he stands and grabbing him by the elbow, until he gets his feet under him, "John, this really isn't a good idea."

Glaring at her, "Doc, I let you do your part. Now I've got to do mine."

Letting go of his elbow, "fine. But be careful and bring her home."

Taking a deep breath and placing a hand protectively over his side as he follows Ronon out of the med bay, "will do. Thanks Jennifer."

"What've I just done." she asks herself as she watches them leave and sighing, she heads over to check on Major Lorne.

  



	2. Chapter 2

  


Carter is sitting on a stool in the Asgard core room, having a discussion with McKay. They are trying to come up with solutions to the current power issues facing the Daedalus. Realizing that a good start would be to damage Michael's cruiser, "we need to take out the cruiser's main weapons."

Looking at her, desperation etched across his face, "yeah. With what?"

"We could launch a 302 attack." she offers, and then she hears, "that's what I was thinking."

She can't believe that she just heard the voice that spoke those words, as Keller had radioed to tell her that he was not going anywhere any time soon. But as she looks at McKay and they turn to face the entrance to the core room, she stares at the owner of that voice, shock written across her face, "Colonel. Dr. Keller said you were out of commission."

Walking towards her and McKay, Ronon by his side, grimacing and bringing his hand to rest over his injured side, "she...revised her diagnosis. Look, we may have an idea."

"Maybe a way to get Teyla back." Ronon adds on.

Carter and McKay listen to the plan and thirty minutes later after explaining the plan to Caldwell and getting his approval, Carter follows John off of the bridge, really worried by how his color has worsened in the short amount of time since he'd come to them in the core room. Not missing his hand going to his side again as they clear the door to the corridor and calling after him, "John, what really happened in the infirmary?"

"Nothing." he grits out.

Reaching out her hand to stop him, she feels the heat radiating from him and worried as hell that he's going to do more harm than good to himself, "so you're telling me if I go down there right now and talk to Jennifer, she'll tell me that you're fit for duty?"

Locking eyes with her, "I'm just trying to do a job."

"So am I and part of my job is determining whether or not you're gonna be a liability on this mission."

"Colonel, I have more respect for you than any commanding officer I've ever had, but I'm getting on that Jumper, end of story. I'll surrender for court marital when I'm done."

She is so taken by this that it takes her brain a second to realize that he is now walking away from her, towards the armory. Shaking her head she hurries after him and reaching him before he enters the armory, she grabs his shoulder and turns him to look at her. Before she can say anything though, "Sam, it's Teyla. I'm gonna bring her back."

Squeezing his shoulder gently, completely understanding where he's coming from, "I know."

Turning to head into the armory, but realizing that she has yet to let go of his shoulder, he looks at her, "tell Lexi I had to, if things go sideways."

Finally letting him go, "John, be careful and don't worry, she'll understand. But I know that I won't have to."

He smiles at her and turning he walks into the armory and gears up. She watches him for a few more seconds and then heads up to the bridge to get ready for the battle. Silently offering up a prayer to whoever is listening that her last words will be true.

  



	3. Chapter 3

  


Landing easily on the planet near the Gate, John beams out Ronon, Teyla, McKay and Kanaan. Looking down at the tiny bundle in his arms, "Teyla's baby, wow!" he says under his breath and leaning forward he hits the release mechanism to open the canopy so that he can climb out.

As he pulls himself up out of the cockpit, a wave of pain and nausea hits like a truck, causing him to shut his eyes tight, as he falls back into the seat.

The whimpering of the baby brings him out of the haze of pain that is slowly inching its way into his consciousness. Looking up from the seat, he sees and feels Ronon taking the baby from him. No longer able to ignore the screaming pain radiating out from his side and the drums in his head, he finally lets himself slide into unconsciousness.

Settling the baby in his arms, Ronon climbs down the ladder and hands the baby off to a waiting Teyla, who is sitting under a blanket on a stretcher a few feet from the dart. Turning around to face the dart, he sees two corpsmen trying to lift John out of the cockpit. Keller catches his eye, and hurrying over to the dart, he helps ease John down onto the waiting stretcher.

Nodding her thanks to the men, Keller kneels down next to John, quickly taking his vitals, as the corpsmen start an IV and place an oxygen mask on him. Frowning at the readings she is getting, she straps the belts tightly around him and standing up, "all right people, let's move now!"

The group makes their way through the open Gate and as they re-materialize in the Gate room, John crashes. Keller climbs on top of the stretcher and starts to administer CPR.

Ronon and McKay can only watch as the med team that was waiting for all of them, pushes the stretcher, carrying John and Keller as fast as they can towards the infirmary. They stand there for a second, staring in shock, before running to catch up with Teyla, who is also on her way to the infirmary, albeit not as fast as John.

Reaching the infirmary, they are greeted by Dr. Newman, who gets Teyla settled into a bed and checks over her son. Finishing his exam, he sees all of their eyes focused on the end of the infirmary where the sounds of Keller treating John, are ringing out loud. Not able to do anything to quell their fears, he convinces McKay and Ronon to submit to an after mission check and just as he is about to go check on John for them, Keller comes over.

"Jennifer, is he okay?" McKay asks, his hands twisting in his lap.

Grimacing and looking very tired, "yeah, Rodney. I've stabilized him. He should be regaining consciousness soon and I'm going to schedule the surgery for later on tonight."

Dr. Newman excuses himself and as they all watch him leave, Keller comes over and takes a look at the baby for herself. Satisfied that he is healthy and Teyla is as well, she sends McKay and Ronon off to their quarters for some rest and they finally go, after she promises they can come back and see John right after his surgery.

Watching them leave, "Jennifer will you wheel me over to John, so that I'm there when he wakes up?"

Smiling, "yeah. Sure." she says, as she unlocks the gurney's wheels and starts pushing. Halfway there, she looks over her shoulder as she hears Carter and Lexi walking into the infirmary. Seeing them, she stops pushing the gurney and waits for them to catch up.

Reaching Keller and Teyla, "oh, Teyla. I'm so glad you're back." and seeing the baby in her arms, "he's beautiful."

Smiling proudly, "thank you Lexi. It is good to be back."

Looking from the baby to Keller, "Jen is John?" Lexi asks.

"He's right over there." she answers, pointing in the direction of his bed.

Speed walking over to his side, she turns to face Keller who has just parked Teyla's bed next to his, "what in the world happened?"

Coming to stand next to him and checking him over once again, "a building fell on them and a piece of rebar impaled him on his right side. Ronon pulled it out and I cleaned it out as best I could on board the Daedalus..."

Eyes going wide in disbelief, "wait. Then how did Teyla get here?"

Not meeting her eyes and sharing a look with Carter, "ah, he convinced me to let him go with Ronon and Rodney on the rescue mission."

"Jen, I can't believe you!" Lexi shouts and looking at Carter, "and you. You should have ordered him to..." she trails off as she starts to shake, the shock of the whole situation crashing over her. Seeing this, Keller and Carter each grab one of her arms and help her sit down on a chair.

Letting go of her arm, worried that she looks as if she is about to pass out, Carter looks over at Keller. Just as she is about to ask a question, she hears her name being called over the PA system and excuses herself.

Resting a hand on her shoulder and looking from her to Teyla and back, "Lexi, I know that you're upset with me for letting him go. But, you better than anyone knows how he gets. There was nothing I could do to keep him there."

Sighing and looking over at John, taking in the paleness of his skin, the sheen of sweat on his face, "I know Jen. I'm sorry. It's just..."

Squeezing her shoulder, "don't worry about it. He's gonna be fine. Now why don't you hang out here until he wakes up and keep Teyla company. I'm gonna go grab a couple of winks before the surgery."

Lexi nods her head, but keeps her eyes glued on John. Seeing this, Keller smiles and with a quick nod at Teyla, she heads for her office.

  



	4. Chapter 4

  


Lexi hears Keller walking away and as she sits forward in the chair, she takes John's hand in hers and squeezes it, smiling as his fingers tighten around hers.

Looking from him to Teyla, she sees her staring at her son, a motherly glow radiating from her, "Teyla, what are you going to name him?"

Inclining her head towards John with a smile, "I was hoping to name him after my father and John."

Eyebrows raising, "really? That's great. I think he'll be honored."

Looking at John, "I hope so. I also hope it does not cause any problems."

Frowning, "what do you mean?"

Grimacing, "I'm sure you know of the rumors that have been circulated about John and me. But Torren is not his son. He is Kanaan's."

Understanding setting in, "oh. Right. I see where you're coming from. You're afraid that if people, in particular Kanaan, hear that you named him after John, they'll think that he is his."

"Yes and I know that this puts you in a difficult position as well."

"Teyla, I'm fine with it. I know that he isn't John's and I also know that your relationship with him has never been that kind of relationship. So please name him after John. He needs this more than he'll let on."

"But what of Kanaan? I have a feeling that he will have a very difficult time accepting this. Especially on top of everything else he is going to have to go through to recover from what Michael did to him."

"Look, I'm sure that part of his recovery is going to be regular sessions with me and my staff. I'll do all I can to reinforce the fact that you and John are nothing more than family."

xxxx

Waking up in the infirmary has never been one of John's favorite things, as it usually entails feeling like crap for long periods of time. As his brain finally surfaces through the fog that claimed him back in the dart, his senses pick up the sounds of talking. The next thing that registers is the feeling of a warm hand in his, and squeezing it, a moan escapes him as he tries to open his eyes. Finally getting them open, he quickly shuts them again as the light makes the pounding in his head notch up another level. He keeps them shut until, "John, open your eyes, I've dimmed the lights."

Slitting them open, he sees Lexi's smiling face staring back at him, tears falling down her cheeks.

Letting go of her hand and reaching up to her face, he swipes the tears away and smiling at her, "Lexi, I...kept my...promise."

Taking his hand from her face and holding it tight, "yes, you did. But did you have to go and have a building fall on you?"

Chuckling, but wincing at it sends pain lancing down his side and through his chest, "I don't...do it...on purpose." he gasps out, trying to breathe through discomfort.

"No I don't believe that you do. It's just getting to be something of a bad habit."

Sinking into the pillow, as the pain finally subsides a little, "you can say that again."

She smiles and sits there next to him for a while. A couple of minutes later, a sound off to his right, has him turning his head on the pillow. As he takes in the sight of Teyla sitting there smiling back at him, her son in her arms, he hears Lexi, "you brought everyone home as well."

A large smile forms on his lips at the sight and he watches as Teyla looks back down at her son, the smile never leaving her lips.

Lexi watches him, as he watches Teyla, and reaching into her pocket, "John?"

He turns his head to her and sees her pulling out his Nintendo DS, as she says, "I brought this for you, so you'll have something to keep you occupied until your surgery."

"Thanks Lexi." he says, with the smile still in place and as he places it down on the bed, he feels his eyes starting to slide shut of their own accord.

"I've got to go..."

"No, Lexi, stay." he says, tightening his grip on her hand and opening his eyes wide.

Seeing the pleading in them, "okay I'll stay. Just go back to sleep." she says, running her fingers through his hair.

Relaxing under her touch and closing his eyes, "all...right, love...you." he says, finally letting the exhaustion win out.

She sits there, holding his hand watching him sleep, and looking over at Teyla, she smiles as she sees her smiling back at her, "what?"

"I am so glad you are here."

Quirking an eyebrow, "thanks for that. But, what do you mean?"

Inclining her head towards John, "I am glad you are here because you are good for him. He has changed since you got together."

Looking from her to John, her smile widens, "thanks Teyla. I'm glad I'm here too. But I've got to go meet Sam." and standing up she hesitates, running her fingers through his hair one more time, as she still can't believe that he came back to her.

Sensing her hesitation, "I will keep an eye on him for you."

Meeting her eyes, "you're gonna be an amazing mom."

Blushing and looking down at her son and back, "thank you Lexi."

Nodding, Lexi leans over and kisses John on his forehead. Pulling away, she heads out for the exit, talking over her shoulder, "I'll see you later." and heading out of the room, she stops by to check on Lorne. Walking over to him, she chuckles as she sees him lying there, his leg in a cast and a thoroughly bored look on his face.

Lorne was staring at the ceiling of the infirmary, counting the lines on it and trying not to pass out from boredom. When the lines stopped holding his interest, his mind started to replay the last forty eight hours and just as he was about to remember the building falling down around him, his eyes come to rest on a friendly face coming towards him, "Lexi!"

"So, you know that you and John are crazy right?" she asks, as she comes to a stop on the right side of his bed.

Laughing, "really? Why?"

Sitting down next to him on the edge of the bed and taking his hand in hers, "oh, because not only do you survive a building falling down on you. But some how you manage to come back to me."

Pulling her wrist to his lips and kissing it, "Lexi, it's because of you and Jamie that we come back at all."

Frowning, "and maybe a little luck?"

"Yeah, that too. How are Sheppard, Teyla and the baby?"

"Jen says they're all gonna be fine. You need anything?"

"No thanks. Jamie's coming by with my lap top in a few minutes and they've got me on the good stuff, so no pain."

Standing up, she leans over and kisses him on the cheek, "okay, I'll stop by later."

Rolling his eyes, "I'll be here."

She walks out of the infirmary and once in the transporter, hits the screen to take her to the Gate room.

xxxx

Getting out of the transporter she walks up to the Control room, across the bridge to Carter's office and as she reaches the door, she can tell that Carter is not happy about something.

"Sam what's wrong?"

Looking up from her tablet, she waves at the chairs across from her and looking back down at the screen, "I've been called back to Earth."

"But..but, why?" Lexi asks, frowning, as she sits down.

Looking up again, apprehension and happiness warring on her face, "well, two reasons. First the last Ba'al clone was captured and the Tok'Ra want SG-1 there at the extraction ceremony..."

"And..."

"And the IOA want to do a review of my service."

Looking down at her hands and back at Carter, "well I'm sure that you have nothing to worry about. I mean you've done a great job here."

Smiling, "thanks, Lexi. But I can't help worrying."

Returning the smile, "don't. I'm sure you'll be back here in no time. Come on, I'll help you pack and we can grab a quick bite."

Smiling and grabbing her tablet, she stands up and they walk out of the office. They head to the mess and grabbing a couple of sandwiches, they head for Carter's quarters. While she's packing, they chat and eat.

About an hour and half later, Lexi walks Carter to the transporter and after hugging her, "we'll have dinner when you get back. Say hi to everyone for me."

"Will do. Love you." and as the doors open to let her into the transporter, she steps in and hitting the screen, "oh, and take care of John." Carter says with a wink.

Chuckling and watching the doors start to close, "love you too and see you soon." Lexi says, and once the doors close all the way, she heads for her office, figuring that she can get in some work before she has to be back in the infirmary.

  


  
  
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

  


Three hours after Lexi left the infirmary John regains consciousness again and as he slowly looks around the room the events of the past couple of weeks flash through his mind and he has to reach for his Nintendo, which he had left on his bed, to keep the memories from overwhelming him.

After playing a couple of rounds of Brain Age, he realizes that Teyla is speaking to him, "how long will the surgery take?"

"Doc says a few hours. But I'll be off my feet for a week or so." he answers, not really paying attention.

"I cannot believe you attempted to mount a rescue in your condition."

Focusing on her, "attempted? Last time I checked, I succeeded!" and changing the subject, "how's the kid?"

He refocuses on the game again as she answers and as she finishes speaking he looks at her with a smile and a nod, "that's great. That's great."

"I want to thank you."

Ignoring the feeling that is twisting his stomach into knots, he looks at her and seeing the sincerity on her face, which scares him a little, he refocuses on the game, "there's no need."

"I never gave up hope because I knew. I knew that you would come for me, John."

"You would have done the same for me."

"Yes."

Not knowing what else to say, he inwardly sighs and keeps his mouth shut.

"All right. You ready, Colonel?"

Tracking Keller as she comes to stand next to his bed, "ready? From my understanding, I...I'm not doing anything."

She smiles and he can swear there's a bit of a giggle in her voice, "well, that's right. You just have to lay still and let me play with your insides." and seeing the look he is giving her, "sorry. Um, let's go."

As the medics wheel his bed forward, he realizes that he doesn't know the baby's name, "what are you gonna name the kid?"

Looking at him with a smile, "well, if it's all right with you, I was thinking of Torren John, after my father and after you."

Completely shocked, "really? Wow!"

"McKay's gonna hate that." Keller says.

Smiling to himself and leaning over to look at Teyla, "I would be very honored."

As they round the corner to head to the OR he hears her say, "very well, Torren John Emmagan."

The next thing he knows, he is lying on his back on the operating table and he feels the anesthetic taking affect and the whole room goes dark.

It takes Keller about four hours to repair the internal bleeding that was caused by some left over debris, that she wasn't able to get out originally. Finally satisfied that everything is patched up, she closes the wound and covering the sutures with bandages, they wheel him out to recovery.

  



	6. Chapter 6

  


For the fifth time in a twenty-four hour period, John wakes up to sounds permeating a fog in his brain. He hears someone calling his name, but it sounds as if they are calling him from the end of a very long tunnel. As his senses fully come on line he feels the wires attached to his chest and he recognizes the feeling of a very uncomfortable tube somewhere down below. But before he can dwell on that, his brain supplies the fact that he is not the one doing the breathing.

 _There's a tube down my throat._  he realizes, and he starts to panic. His eyes snap open and darting around the room, he glimpses the ceiling of the recovery room and then he feels a soft but strong hand on his shoulder and bringing his eyes to the owner of that hand, he recognizes Keller as the owner of the voice that had been calling him.

"Colonel, calm down. You're on Atlantis and you've just gotten out of surgery."

He hears rapid beeping off to his right,  _wait, why am I here?_  he wonders, as everything is one big jumbled mess and he is having a really hard time separating out what are real memories and what are nightmares.

"Colonel, if you relax, I'll take out the tube. You're fine, and you're safe."

 _Okay John, get a grip._  and the next thing that registers is, "Colonel can you hear me?"

Nodding, his eyes dart to the entrance to the recovery room and as he sees Lexi walking towards him, he relaxes into the pillow. His eyes slide shut again, only to force them open as he feels her hand taking his.

"All right, Colonel, look straight ahead and on three cough as hard as you can." has him focusing on Keller and as she takes hold of the tube, "1, 2, 3 and cough."

On three he coughs as hard as he can and as the tube is brought out of his throat he gags and coughs some more, slumping against the pillows. He feels Lexi placing the nasal cannula around his head and under his nose and as his eyes start to slide shut, again,  _why am I so damn tired_?

Out of no where a wave of chills runs through him, forcing him to open his eyes again,  _did someone just turn off the heat?_ and focusing on Lexi, he sees her speaking to Keller and as he turns his head to look at the Doctor, the words float over him. A few moments later, as his eyes close again "that's it John, just sleep. I'll be here when you wake up again." follows him into sleep.

  



	7. Chapter 7

  


Lexi was sitting in her office trying to do some research. She had thought going there and working would be a good way to keep her mind off of the fact that John was in surgery. But that was quickly dashed, twenty minutes into the first hour of waiting. Feeling really antsy, she left her office and headed for her quarters. Changing into a pair of workout clothes she went for an hour run, knowing that if she sat in the infirmary waiting for the surgery to be over she would go insane. She could never figure out how the rest of John's team did it. She had spent enough time waiting with them, while Keller tried to keep him alive over the past year, to know that she needed to be doing something other than just waiting. And this time was no different, in that regard.

Running through the quiet halls, she plays the events that had led up to this most recent adventure, over in her head. The only sounds her steady breathing, the hum of Atlantis in the back of her mind and the music coming from her iPod.

Two hours later, she walks into the recovery room, showered and changed to see and hear Keller asking John, "Colonel can you hear me?"

Taking in the fast beeping of the monitor and the confused look on his face, she picks up her pace, smiling as his head turns and as his eyes lock on her. Reaching his side and taking his hand in hers, she feels him squeeze her hand and squeezing back, she watches as Keller raises the head of the bed.

As Keller says, "all right, Colonel, look straight ahead and on three cough as hard as you can." Lexi grabs the nasal cannula and as soon as he has slumped against the pillow, she puts it on him.

She watches as Keller talks with Marie and as the nurse leaves the room, she feels his eyes on her, but more worried about his condition, "infection?" she asks.

Accepting the syringes from Marie and injecting them into the IV, "yeah, it took hold before we got in there. I cleaned out the remaining debris and fixed the internal bleeding, but hopefully this will help."

Lexi shifts her eyes back to John and seeing his eyes drifting shut, the exhaustion and pain finally winning out, she smiles, "that's it John, just rest. I'll be here when you wake up again."

She watches him for a couple of more minutes, not realizing that Keller has left the recovery room for a moment. Therefore she jumps at the sound of Keller's voice saying her name, "Lexi?"

Taking her eyes off him, she tracks Keller as she walks up next to her, "you did a good job." and noticing how tired she looks, "why don't you go get some sleep. Marie and I can get him settled in his room."

Shaking her head, "his room," and rubbing her hands tiredly over her face, "yeah, you're right, I could do with a couple hours."

Frowning, "try eight. Dr. Cole can keep an eye on things." and seeing the apprehension on her face, "Jen, you said it yourself. He's gonna be fine and it won't do any of us any good if you work yourself into the ground. Especially now that Sam and John are out of commission."

Eyebrows rising in shock, "huh? Is she okay?" she asks, as two nurses come into the room to move John's bed.

"She's fine. The Tok'Ra are removing the last Ba'al clone's symbiote and they want SG-1 to be there. Plus the IOA are doing a review of her first year in command."

Reaching John's room, Lexi watches as he is settled on his bed and looking him over she smiles sadly at the fact that he spends so much time in the infirmary that he has his own unofficial room.

Realizing that Keller is still checking him over and that Doctor Cole is as well, "Jen, go get some sleep. Now."

Stifling a yawn and smiling, "okay. I'm going."

"Sleep tight." and bringing her focus back to John, she watches as Doctor Cole finishes her checks.

A few minutes later, "he's doing well." Doctor Cole tells her and as she heads for the door, "I'll let his teammates know that he can have visitors."

A small moan escaping John brings her attention back to him and sitting down on the side of the bed, she runs her fingers through his hair, a little worried at the heat that meets her fingers. Sliding off the bed a couple of minutes later, she takes a seat on one of the chairs that is next to the bed. Noticing that his Nintendo is sitting on the tray next to it, she leans forward and picks it up. Opening it up and powering it on, she begins to play Brain Age. Every now and then her eyes shift to look at him, when he shifts in the bed, obviously dreaming.

xxxx

Thirty minutes later, she looks up at the sounds coming from the main part of the infirmary and smiles to herself.

"Dr. Cole said we could come by and see him..." comes McKay's voice, practically yelling at whoever is on duty in the infirmary.

Getting up, she walks to the door and leaning against the doorframe, she catches Ronon's eye and nods him over.

"McKay."

As they come to stand in front of her, she smiles at them.

"Can we see Sheppard?" Ronon asks.

"Yeah. He's down for the count, but we can sit with him."

They walk into the room and take up seats by the bed and she follows them in.

"Lexi, is he okay?"

Running her eyes over the monitors, noting the increase in his pulse, she takes his hand in hers and squeezing it, she leans over and whispers, "John, I'm here and you're safe." in his ear.

Straightening up, she looks at the monitors again and smiles as the readings start to come down, "yeah, Rodney, he's fine. Just some bad dreams."

"You've got to be kidding me! Why is that always your answer?" he whisper shouts.

"Rodney, he's gonna be fine and it's always our answer because it's usually the truth." and seeing the looks of concern on their faces, "don't worry, okay?"

"Are you sure, because he doesn't look good." Ronon says.

Letting go of John's hand, she sits down in the chair and running her eyes over him, "yes. I'm sure." she says, and seeing them nod in understanding, they settle into a companionable silence. Five minutes later, she and McKay are jumping to their feet to stop John from dry heaving himself off of the bed.

She motions for Ronon to take her place as she hurries out of the room to find Dr. Cole. Halfway into the main infirmary, "Marie!"

"Yes doctor?"

"Can you get me 4 mg of Zofran now?" and not waiting for an answer, she runs back into the room to see John still dry heaving, McKay pacing back and forth on the other side of the room, and Ronon still standing next to John, holding a basin under his chin, even though nothing's coming up.

"Lexi, should we come back later?" McKay asks, as he stops pacing.

Taking Ronon's place next to John, she rubs his back and as she does so she runs her eyes over the monitors, frowning at the readings. As she turns her head to answer, "yeah guys, I'll radio you when he's doing better." Marie walks in with the syringe.

Handing Lexi the syringe, "do you need anything else?"

Inserting the syringe into the IV, "yeah. Can you let Dr. Cole know?"

Walking out of the room, "of course."

Ronon and McKay follow her out of the room, concern written across their faces. Lexi watches them go and the feeling of John's hand pushing her hand away, brings her attention back to him.

Placing the basin on the tray next to the bed, she pulls down the blanket, feeling shivers run through him as the cool infirmary air hits him. As she pulls down the top of the gown, she hears him moan and meeting his eyes, "John?"

"Lexi...what're you…doing?" he croaks out.

"Take it easy. I'm just going to check the sutures." she says, lifting up the bandage and peering down at the stitches.

"Throat's...sore."

Replacing the bandage, "okay, hang on a sec." she says, as she ties the top of the gown back around his neck.

Finished tying the gown, she recovers him with the blankets and as she is reaching for the cup of ice chips on the tray next to the bed, she hears someone walking into the room.

"Dr. Carter, Marie said that he's not doing too well."

Placing an ice chip in his mouth, she watches as Dr. Cole walks up to the left side of the bed.

"Yeah, his temp's back up and it looks like he's having a reaction to something." and placing another chip in his mouth, "that better?" she asks, as she places the cup back on the tray.

"Yeah. Thanks." he says, closing his eyes.

"Colonel, I'm just going to draw some blood." Doctor Cole says as she wraps the rubber band around his arm.

Lexi watches her drawing the blood, until, "Lexi." brings her attention back to him. Seeing the look of fear that is in his eyes nearly stops her from breathing.

Taking his hand in hers and sitting on the edge of the bed again, "she's almost done." she says as she sees Dr. Cole taking the rubber band off his arm and seeing him nod as his eyes slide shut again, the exhaustion and fever taking their toll, she frowns.

A few minutes later, "Dr. Carter?" brings her focus to Doctor Cole, who is standing at the door to the main part of the infirmary.

She stands up and John's eyes fly open searching for hers. Squeezing his hand, "I'm just going right over there." she tells him, pointing to the door and he lets go of her hand. She shakes it out lightly, as she walks over to Doctor Cole, "what's up?" she asks, as she reaches her.

"I've taken a look at his chart and I don't want to give him anything else besides the Zofran that you just gave him. It's too soon after the initial dosages of the antibiotics and pain meds. I'm gonna run the blood work just to be sure, but I think you're right about him reacting to something."

"Do you think it could be the anesthesia?"

"It's possible, but let me run the blood work just in case." and turning to walk out of the room, "right now I'm more worried by how frightened he seems. But that's more your department." she says, as she walks away from Lexi.

Shaking her head, Lexi walks back over to the bed and taking a seat on the left side of it, taking John's hand in hers, "John?"

Opening his eyes, looking at her, fear and exhaustion radiating from him, "Lexi, what's going on? Why am I here?"

"You don't remember rescuing Teyla and the baby?" she asks him, concern lacing her voice.

"Teyla had the baby?"

Alarm bells scream in her head, "what's the last thing you remember?"

"Um." and as the beeping of the EKG speeds up, alerting her to his confusion, "coming back to Atlantis from the future."

Frowning, "really?"

Matching her frown, "yeah. Why, what happened?"

Leaning forward, she kisses him, smiling through it as the beeping of the EKG slows down and as she sits back up, locking eyes with him, "John, you, Rodney, Ronon, Evan, his team and a group of Marines went to the planet where Michael was going to bring Teyla to have her baby. But instead of finding Teyla, the building blew up and collapsed on all of you. The Daedalus beamed you and Ronon out and you were in really bad shape. Somehow you convinced Jen to patch you up and then you, Ronon and Rodney took a cloaked Jumper over to Michael's cruiser. You got in, destroyed the hyper drive, Rodney delivered Torren and then you all escaped in a dart. The Daedalus blew up the cruiser and you all came back to Atlantis. You had surgery to fix the hole in your side and you've been in the infirmary for the past hour and a half."

A couple of seconds later she sees realization dawn on his face and as his eyes slide shut, "Torren…John."

Leaning over, she kisses him on the lips again and pulling away, she smiles, "that's right John." and sitting next to him for a little while longer, stroking the back of his hand with her thumb she watches him sleep. Satisfied that he won't be waking up again any time soon, she slides off the bed, sitting down in the chair. Leaning forward, she props up her chin with her right hand and a few seconds later, she dozes off.

  


  
  
  
  



	8. Chapter 8

  


A couple of days later, Keller walks into John's room to find Lexi sitting in a chair by his bed, filling him in on some things.

Coming over to his side and pulling down the scrub top to check on the sutures, "good evening you two."

"Hey...Doc." he says, flinching a little, as she gently probes the area around the wound.

Taping a new bandage over the sutures, replacing the scrub top and recovering him with the blanket, she moves over to the computer and as she types up some final notes on it, "so, you feel like getting out of here?"

"Really?" he and Lexi ask at the same time.

"Yeah, really. You're healing well and your vitals are good."

Flushing in embarrassment, "you're really letting me out?"

Trying really hard not to crack up at the eagerness in his voice, "John, I'm sure that Jen wouldn't let you out of here if she didn't expect you to actually take it easy."

Nodding in agreement, "that's right, Colonel. I'm only letting you out if you promise to come back every day for checks and do nothing but rest until the middle of next week. If you do that, I'll clear you for desk duty."

"So if I do all of it, when will you clear me for off world duty?"

"Well if you follow my directions to the letter, I'll clear you for off world duty by the time Mr. Woolsey arrives. Take it or leave it."

Smiling, "okay, Doc. I'll take it."

"Good. I'll go and get your after care instructions and meds." she says, as she walks out of the room, leaving Lexi to get him together for the wheelchair ride back to her quarters.

 

  



	9. Chapter 9

  


John watches Keller leave the room and focusing on Lexi, "she's actually letting me go."

"Yeah. But John, you have to listen to her and rest. You were missing for twelve days and you had a building fall on you for heaven's sake." she says, as she unhooks his IV and helps him stand up from the bed, to slip into his robe.

Standing up and slipping into the robe, tires him out more then he cares to admit. It's not as bad as it was two days ago, but it's still pretty bad and as he feels his legs start to give out, he feels her grip on his right elbow guiding him to sit down on the bed again.

"Why am I so damn tired? I slept for almost 800 years." he grits out, as he catches his breath.

Frowning at him, "no, you didn't sleep for almost 800 years. Stasis isn't the same as real sleep."

"Oh, well that'd explain it. Man this really sucks!" and feeling her sitting down next to him, her hand taking his, he looks over at her and seeing the smirk playing on her lips, "what?"

Shaking her head in amusement, "well the reason why you hate this." she says, as she waves her hand around the room, "is because you're not in control of it. You have to trust other people to take care of you and it annoys you."

 _Man she's good_ , and grimacing at her, "Lexi, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself and I don't have a problem not being in control."

"You...don't have a problem...not being in...control?" she laughs out, and seeing the frown on his face, she stops laughing and squeezing his hand, "John, please. I know that you don't have a problem rolling with the punches out in the field, but like we've discussed before, when it comes to giving up control of taking care of yourself, you, well...you freak."

"I don't freak!" he says with a little more anger in his voice then he wants and looking her in the eyes, which are staring back at him with so much understanding that it frightens him a little, "Lexi, I don't."

"John, you do freak and it's okay that you do."

"But, how come it's okay and how come you get it?" he asks, uncertainty inching into his voice and before he knows it, she's standing in front of him, flinching a little as her hands come to rest on his shoulders.

Looking him in the eyes again, "I get you."

Squirming under her gaze, his feelings getting the better of him, "but how?"

Instead of answering him, she slides her hands from his shoulders to his neck and he feels her fingers running through the hair on the back of his head. Leaning in, she kisses him and relaxing in her arms, he wraps his arms around her waist, careful not to let her bump into his side.

They are so wrapped up in kissing each other that neither of them hear Keller walk in until, "so Colonel...oh, uh, sorry."

They brake apart and as he looks from Keller to Lexi, he sees that she's as red as he feels, "it's okay, doc. So am I good to go?"

A little flustered but recovering quickly, "yeah, let me just check your blood pressure and temp one last time." she says handing the meds and instructions to Lexi.

Sighing, he holds out his arm, accepting the inevitable.

A few minutes later, "all right, Colonel. Temp is normal, BP's a little high though." she announces with a little grin on her face, as she places the cuff back on the table and slips the thermometer into her lab coat pocket.

Letting her help him into the wheel chair that Lexi has wheeled over to the side of the bed, "thanks doc."

She pats him on the shoulder and Lexi wheels him out of the room. But before they reach the exit to the infirmary, "oh Colonel?"

He sighs and looks up at Lexi, who turns him around to face Keller, "yes?"

Coming up to them, "I told your teammates that they can visit, but only for an hour at a time, you need to rest. I also told McKay that he's not to bother you unless it's a life or death situation."

Rolling his eyes, "when is it not a life or death situation around here?"

Lexi hits him on the shoulder and he smiles up at her, as she says, "don't worry Jen I'll make sure he stays put."

Turning him around, they head for her quarters and as they get into the transporter, he lapses into his own little world, going over the conversation they were just having. He is so caught up in his thoughts that he doesn't realize that they have reached her quarters until, "John?"

Looking around, he sees her kneeling down in front of him, concern written across her face, "oh, we're here. Sorry. I was thinking about what we were talking about."

"We can finish the discussion if you want."

"Yeah. But how bout after a shower, I could really go for one. Sponge baths are only fun for so long." he says, raising his eyebrows at her.

She chuckles and helps him out of the wheelchair and wrapping her right hand around his waist, he rests his arm on her shoulders, as they walk into the bathroom.

xxxx

Forty minutes later, she's helping him into the bed.

Watching her climb on the bed, "so, you were going to tell me how you get me and why it's okay that I freak out." and seeing her smile,  _jeeze, I love that smile_.

"I get you because I've spent my professional life dealing with people just like you."

Not looking away from her, "okay that makes sense. But that still doesn't explain why it's okay that I freak out."

Smile fading a little, "well, with everything you've been through, it's not hard to realize why it freaks you out when you can't take care of yourself. You've been doing it for so long, that if you let go of that control, you feel like everything's going to spiral away and you can't handle it. To tell you the truth I'd be worried if you didn't freak out."

Considering her words and looking away from her, he stares out one of the windows to the ocean, getting lost in watching the waves.

Watching him, she sees him lost in his thoughts and reaching out and taking his hand, "John."

Hearing her voice brings him back to the present and looking at her, pulling her towards him, wrapping his arms around her, "how'd you get so smart?"

Looking up at him, smiling, "believe me, it's not as easy as it seems. You frustrate the hell outta me sometimes."

Locking his eyes on hers again, he catches the love and concern in them and a little voice in the back of his mind starts nagging him and before he can stop himself, "why do you love me?"

Her smile disappears as she looks away from him and resting her head on his chest, "because I do, John. It's as simple as that."

"But I'm no good for you. I'm..."

"Don't even go there." she cuts him off, as she sits up and turns to look at him.

Rubbing his hands over his face, as the exhaustion that has been plaguing him for the past couple days, starts to make itself known, "Lexi, look. I ah..."

"John, we can't help who we fall in love with."

"Lexi, there are just so many..."

"Reasons why we shouldn't be together, right?"

"Yeah. It's just." he mumbles out, as his eyes start to slide shut.

"Go to sleep, you crazy pilot." she tells him, as she lies back down next to him, pulling the blankets up over them and letting him rest his head on her chest, holding him in her arms.

Chuckling a little as his eyes shut all the way, feeling completely safe in her arms he falls asleep.

Lying with him in her arms, listening to him sleep, Lexi runs over everything they just talked about. Twenty minutes later, finally able to get her mind to turn off, she closes her eyes and listening to John's soft even breathing, she too falls asleep.

  



	10. Chapter 10

  


The following morning, Lexi wakes up to the first rays of light filtering into the room through the curtains hanging over the windows. Letting out a sigh, as she feels absolutely exhausted, the previous night replays in her mind and the exhaustion makes perfect sense. She had fallen asleep, positive that John was going to have an easy night, only to be up every hour on the hour with him tossing and turning through nightmares and a couple of trips to the bathroom.

Shifting a little in the bed, she realizes that John's arm is draped over her stomach and he's curled up next to her, his stomach to her back. Smiling to herself, she entwines her fingers with his and snuggles further into him, stopping as she hears his intake of breath, "John, are you up?"

Pulling her into him, "not…really."

Chuckling, but turning onto her right side, she frowns at the pain lines creasing his forehead, "how're you feeling?"

Opening his eyes and shrugging a little, "would it surprise you if I said I feel like crap?"

Raising her eyebrows, "yeah, actually it would." and leaning in to kiss him, pulling away, "but it's a nice change of pace."

Scowling at her, "oh come on Lexi, cut me some slack."

Frowning again, "well, someone certainly woke up on the wrong side of the bed." and seeing the glare he fixes her with, "okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'll be right back." she says, as she scoots out of the bed and heads for the fridge to grab a bottle of water.

Turning over onto his back, closing his eyes and scrubbing his face, wincing as his side pulls, he startles as he feels Lexi climbing back onto the bed. Opening his eyes, he smiles as she is staring back at him, concern written across her face, "no Lexi, I'm sorry." and accepting the pills and water bottle she is handing him, "it's just."

Watching him as he fumbles for the right words and takes the pills, "I know." and accepting the water bottle he hands her, "go back to sleep."

Closing his eyes, "that's…easier…then it should…be." he mumbles out as his breathing evens out.

Scooting down under the blankets next to him, she's asleep before her head hits the pillow. Two hours later, she wakes up again and turning over onto her back, she takes a peak at the clock on the bedside table and knowing that she won't be able to fall back to sleep as the conversation they were having the previous evening has been bothering her, she gets out of the bed and heading over to the dresser she pulls out her workout clothes. Changing into them, stretching out and grabbing a Gatorade from the mini fridge she swipes herself out of the room and sets off for the East pier.

An hour and half later, she stops at the mess to grab some food and two bottles of water. Food and drink in hand, she walks out of the mess, juggling everything and walking to the transporter. Stepping into it, she tries to hit the screen to take her to her quarters, but turns at the sound of someone calling her name.

"Lexi."

"Hi Ronon."

"Hey." he says, smiling at her and hitting the screen for her.

"Thanks," she says, as the transporter deposits them in the corridor leading to her quarters, "so, are you coming to see John?"

"Yeah, how's he doing?"

Walking side-by-side, "he's doing okay."

"When will he be back on duty?"

"Jen will be putting him on desk duty on Wednesday. But only if he behaves himself."

Laughing, "I'd like to see that happen."

Raising an eyebrow at him, "and what makes you think that he won't?"

Reaching the doors to her quarters, he stops laughing catching on to her meaning and he winks at her as she swipes them into the room.

Stepping into the quarters, they are met with John sitting up in bed, staring at them, "hey, where'd you go?" he asks, as he sees them walk in.

Coming to sit on the edge of the bed next to him, "I went for a run." she answers, as she sees Ronon sprawl out on the couch.

She hands him one of the sandwiches and a water bottle and not missing the look he is giving her as she reaches for the medicine bottles on the bedside table, "what?"

Taking the pills and handing her the water bottle, "how far did you run?"

Placing the bottle down on the bedside table, "oh I don't know. I did the East Pier route and then some."

"You're scary, Lexi." Ronon says, and sticking his chin out at her, "Sheppard, this one's a keeper."

Looking her in the eyes, "I plan on it." he says.

Blushing, she gets up and as she walks over to the desk, she opens up her sandwich. Reaching it, she sits down and starts eating, listening to and watching the two men chatting.

Twenty minutes later, after finishing her water, "guys, I'm gonna grab a shower." she says, as she walks over to the dresser and grabs a change of clothing.

Seeing her heading for the bathroom, "Lexi, don't you have work?" John asks.

Stopping at the door, she turns to face him, smiling, "it's one of the benefits of being the boss of your own department. I get to delegate. Ronon, keep an eye on him for me and John, don't even think about going anywhere." and turning around she heads into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

xxxx

Fifteen minutes later, showered and dressed in Lorne's hoody and a pair of sweats, she opens the door to the bathroom to find Ronon rummaging through her DVD collection, calling out the names of the movies to John.

"Movie morning?" she asks, as she walks over to the bed and climbs up onto it. Settling back into the pillows, on John's left side she wraps her fingers around his wrist and looking down at her watch she does a mental count of his pulse.

"You know, that's what Keller is for." he says, the annoyance clearly evident in his voice.

"Yeah, well it can't hurt." she says, and as she finishes the count and looks at him, "so Ronon, what's the pick?"

Turning to face them, holding up the case of  _Transformers_ , "this one looks interesting."

Smiling wide and looking from him to Lexi, "it's a very good one."

Smiling back at John, "okay, grab my laptop." and as Ronon walks over to the desk to grab the laptop, "after the movie, we're heading to the infirmary.

Pouting at her, "oh come on Lexi. I feel fine."

"We ready for the movie?" Ronon asks, as he sits down on the bed on Lexi's other side.

Leaning back against the pillows again, resting her right arm around John's shoulders, as he shifts to lean against her, resting his head on her shoulder, "yeah Ronon, we're ready." and kissing John on his forehead, which she can tell embarrasses him, "it's either that or no desk duty on Wednesday."

She feels him sigh against her and looking to her left, she sees Ronon lounging back against the pillows. Smiling, she hits the play button on the remote, which he had handed to her as he climbed onto the bed and the movie starts.

About halfway through the film, she hears snoring on her left side and looking down she sees Ronon fast asleep with his head on her shoulder. She turns her head to say something to John, only to see that he's asleep, as well.

Smiling to herself, she inwardly chuckles and goes back to watching the movie. Ten minutes later, her radio goes off and sighing, she raises her right hand from John's shoulder, relieved that he doesn't stir, to hit the radio in her ear.

"Yes Jen, what's up?"

"I was wondering if you were bringing Colonel Sheppard down for his check up?"

"I was planning on it, but, ah, I'm currently not able to move."

"Are you okay?"

Looking from John to Ronon, laughing softly, "yeah, I'm fine. It's just that I'm a Ronon-John Oreo right now."

"Ah, okay. Should I come to you?"

"Yeah, I think that might be a good idea."

"Okay, I'll be there in twenty. Keller out."

The radio link closes and she goes back to watching the movie. As it ends, the door chime goes off and she mentally opens it, to allow Keller to enter, smiling at the look on her face.

"You weren't kidding about being an Oreo." Keller whispers, as she comes over to the right side of the bed and puts the med bag down on the floor. She pulls out the LSD from the bag and pulling up the chair from the desk, "how's he doing?"

"He had a rough night. But it's probably because of the meds."

"Can you wake him?"

Nodding, she gently squeezes his shoulder, "John?"

Bolting upright, looking around confused and eyes coming to rest on her, he slumps back down onto the pillows, "uh, Lexi, I was having a great dream."

"Sorry Colonel." Keller says, taking the opportunity to scan him and ask him a couple of questions.

Lexi sits there watching her checking him over and turning her head to look at Ronon, as the snoring has stopped, she notices that he is now awake and is keeping an eye on everything that is going on.

"Hey, how're you doing?" he asks John.

Taking his eyes off Keller and turning his head to look at him, "I'm good, buddy."

Catching Lexi's eye, Keller motions for her to follow her and stands up to walk out of the quarters, carrying the med bag.

"I'll be right back." she says, as she crawls her way to the bottom of the bed. Climbing out of it, she follows Keller out of the door, the doors closing behind them, "what's up?"

Frowning, "you were right. He's running a low grade fever and his BP is a little higher then I'd like."

"So what do you want to do?"

Shifting the med bag to her other shoulder, "I've changed the pain meds and I've left the new ones on the dresser. If you can get him to drink more water that'd be great, his temp's not that high, but I don't want to have to put him on an IV if I don't have to. I'm happy he's sleeping though, so there is that."

Smiling, "okay, I'll keep him hydrated. What about walking around?"

Returning the smile, "well, the wound is healing nicely. If you can get him to walk around longer than he did yesterday that would be great. But, don't push him. The best thing is what he's doing. If he doesn't walk around that much today, it's okay. But definitely get him up and around tomorrow."

Smiling fading, "good to know." and not meeting her eyes, "anything else I should do?"

"No. But something is bugging you, what is it?"

Still not meeting her eyes, "it's nothing really. I'm just worried about him."

Resting a hand on her arm, "he's really doing as well as can be expected."

Sighing, "physically, maybe."

"Lexi, he's been through a lot in the past two weeks, I'm not surprised if he's having a little bout of depression."

"I know. It's just that, it's frustrating. He won't talk about it and instead, he's doubting certain things."

"Like, being with you?" she asks, taking her hand from Lexi's arm, to shift the bag higher on her shoulder.

"Yeah."

"Give him time. He'll get over it, he always does." and turning to head for the transporter, looking over her shoulder, "I've gotta go. Maybe take him to the mess tonight for dinner and then bring him by."

Smiling at her, "will do, see you later." and turning to head back into her quarters, she nearly walks into Ronon.

"He's asleep again." he says, as she steps aside to allow him to pass.

"Good, he needs it. How're you doing?" she asks.

"I'm good, just didn't sleep well last night."

"Bad dreams?"

He shifts slightly on his feet and sticks his hands in his pockets, "no not really."

Nodding, knowing that he's just like John and the rest of the military members that she treats on a daily basis and won't confess to how he's really feeling, "well, if you need to talk, you know where to find me."

He turns and also heads for the transporter, "I know, thanks. See you later."

xxxx

Walking over to John's side she recovers him with the comforter and runs her fingers through his hair, frowning at the sweat that comes away on them. Sighing, she sits down at her desk and opening up her email program, she works her way through it. She answers the most pressing ones and two hours later, after putting out some fires in regards to who is taking whose shifts, she stands up and heads over to the fridge to grab a sandwich. She sits back down at the desk and keeping her eyes on John, she eats the sandwich. Washing down the last of the sandwich with some water, she gets up and throws away the carton and climbs onto the bed.

Lying down and grabbing her book and iPod, she switches it on and flips to the bookmark, continuing the story from where she left off. A few minutes later, John shifts in the bed, resting his right arm over her stomach, pulling her towards him. Putting the book down on the bedside table and taking off the iPod, she allows him to cuddle up to her, "John are you up?"

Cracking his eyes open, "yeah and I'm freezing."

Frowning, she places her left hand on his forehead and feeling the heat radiating from it, she reaches for his wrist taking his pulse. Finishing the count and frowning, she rolls over and reaches for her radio on the bedside table.

"Lexi, I'm not going down to the infirmary."

She stops reaching for the radio and looks down at him. Seeing his eyes locked on her, pleading, "I'm not gonna take you down there, but I promised Jen that I'd keep you hydrated and with your temp spiking the way it is, I want to get an IV into you."

"Oh, come on. I'll drink whatever you want me to." and as a shiver runs through him, "do I have to have an IV?"

"It's either that or you're spending the night in the infirmary." she tells him, as she reaches for her radio again and slipping it in her ear, fixing him with a stern glare, "Dr. Carter to Dr. Keller."

"Go ahead, Lexi."

"Jen, can you bring me an IV?"

"Is everything okay?"

"No. John's temp is spiking."

"All right, I'll have Marie bring one down to you. Do you need anything else?"

"Nope, I've got Tylenol here, but you might have to come here for his check tonight."

"No problem. See you later."

"Thanks, Carter out."

Taking out the radio and placing it on the bedside table she gets out of the bed and walks over to her desk. Opening the draw, she hits the combo on the digital safe, and opening it, she takes out the Tylenol. On her way back to the bed, she grabs a bottle of water.

Coming to sit next to him, handing him the pills and the water, "here, take these."

He props himself up and swallows the pills, handing the water back to her, "I thought Keller said I was getting better."

"You are getting better. But you're having a reaction to the pain meds. She changed them when she was here earlier, so I'm hoping that this won't last long."

"You think I'll be okay to be cleared for desk duty by Wednesday?"

"Yeah, if you keep taking it easy, I don't see why not."

"Good. You got any food?"

"Yeah, you want a sandwich?"

"Turkey?"

Smiling as she gets up and walks over to the fridge, "of course."

After handing him the sandwich, she climbs up on the bed next to him and settling back on the pillows, she grabs her book.

"Whatcha reading?" he asks around bites of food.

" _Covert One: The Paris Option_. I like the main character." she tells him, as he continues to finish off his sandwich.

Out of the corner of her eye she sees him toss the sandwich wrapper in the trashcan, "why do you like him?"

Smiling at him, "he reminds me of you."

Eyebrows shooting up, "really? Why?"

Kissing him on his forehead, "well, you both care for others more than yourselves." and feeling him snuggle further down in the bed, she shifts her arm around his shoulders so that he's leaning against her, her fingers running along the upper part of his right arm.

A couple of minutes later, the door chime goes off, "come in Marie." she yells and she feels him startle awake.

She looks down at him and then her eyes track Marie as she walks over to his right side. She watches as Marie quickly inserts the IV and without a word she heads out of the room.

"I'm sorry Lexi."

Eyes darting from the door to him, "for what?"

Frowning, "for what I said yesterday about us not being good for each other. I didn't mean it."

Smiling at him, "don't worry about it. I don't scare that easily." and catching the yawn that he tries to hide from her, "let's get some sleep."

They snuggle down under the blankets, "I love…you." he manages to get out before his breathing evens out and she can tell that he's out again.

She lies there for a while listening to him sleep and a little while later, she too falls asleep.

Around 1820 Keller comes by again. Walking into the room, she sees him asleep next to Lexi, who is reading again, although this time she is reading some research on her tablet. Checking him over, without waking him up, she is happy as the results of the check reveal that his temp is back to normal. Smiling at Lexi, she leaves with the promise of coming by in the morning.

A couple hours later, Ronon, Teyla, carrying a very cranky Torren and McKay all stop by, bringing some dinner for the two of them. While Lexi fawns over Torren, chatting with Teyla, McKay and Ronon keep John entertained and help him walk around the quarters for a little while, until he is so tired from the effort that they get him back into bed and with "see you later" all around they leave. Once they're alone, Lexi gets changed and coming back out into the room, she smiles at sight of John fast asleep. Climbing onto the bed, she mentally shuts the lights off and is asleep in seconds.

Two weeks later, Keller clears John for off world duty. But as usual, the calm that the city was enjoying during the time leading up to Woolsey's arrival gets dashed to pieces the week he arrives.

 

 

  



	11. Chapter 11

  


Keller is sitting in the infirmary running through her research on the serum that will hopefully help save Beckett. She has been working tirelessly on it for the past two months, pushing herself to her physical limits, hoping that the next piece of information will be the piece of the puzzle that will finally make all the pieces fit.

Standing up, she tiredly rubs her hands over her face and through her hair, trying to wake herself up. Sitting back down on her stool, she stares at the computer screen in front of her, trying to make heads or tails of it. She knows that the retro virus that Beckett created cured the Athosians and as of this afternoon, she believes she might have found the piece of information that she has been looking for.

Sighing, she gets up from her stool again, to grab a cup of coffee. Mug in hand she walks around the infirmary to stretch her legs for a couple of minutes. Heading back over to her workstation she sits back down and runs some more tests and simulations.

A couple of hours later, she wakes up looking around the infirmary confused and as she looks down at her hands, she notices a clear goo sticking to her right one. She walks over to a sink and washing it off, she frowns as it's really gross. Turning off the water, she reaches for a paper towel.

As she is wiping her hands off, Marie and a med technician's voice startle her. Not turning around, she hears Marie, "Doctor you're still here?"

Continuing to wipe her hands, "oh yeah. I...fell asleep at my desk."

"Well, if you don't mind me saying, I think you're pushing yourself a little hard. You should take it easy."

"I know. I'm...going to turn in now."

Seeing her still wiping her hands, "are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Okay, 'night."

Keeping her eyes on her hands, "night." Keller says.

She watches as Marie walks out of the infirmary and even though she had told her that she was heading off to bed herself, she instead heads back to her workstation. Before she knows it, it is 0300. She shuts off her computer and heads to her quarters, remembering that there is an early morning briefing with Mr. Woolsey.

xxxx

The following morning at 0700, Ronon walks into the conference room, taking a seat at the new conference table, across from Teyla. Keller and McKay are standing next to each other by the side table.

Eyeing Keller with worry as she pours herself a cup of coffee, "did you get any sleep last night?"

Placing the coffee container down on the table and looking at him, "do I really look that bad?"

Back peddling, "uh, no, no, of course not. That's not what I meant. Uh, it's really…it's a lovely…"

Looking at him as she heads for the conference table, "thanks." she says, sarcastically.

As she sits down at the table next to Ronon, John walks in, "wow. New table, huh?"

Looking at him, "Woolsey brought it with him. He said he wanted a little piece of home." Teyla says.

Looking from her to the table, "a twelve foot long mahogany conference table? Hmm."

Lounging in his chair, "I don't get it. I thought Colonel Carter was doing a good job." Ronon says.

Teyla looks at him, Keller and McKay, as they are all sitting across from her, "I agree. We defeated the Replicators, we thwarted Michael's plans and the Wraith are in a state of disarray. All of this happened while she was leader of Atlantis."

Finished pouring his coffee, John turns to face her, "that's the problem."

Looking at him, "I don't understand."

Swallowing some coffee, "well, she's a victim of her own success." he says, and coming to sit next to her, "now that the threat level is down, the IOA is going to jump at the chance to put a civilian back in command."

Watching as he sits down, "well, it's not just that. I mean Sam didn't exactly stick to protocol." McKay says.

"Neither did Weir." Ronon says.

Looking at him, "right, so for four years, they've been waiting to get someone in who will finally do things their way."

"Yeah, I still don't get it." Ronon says.

"Colonel, when you were in the future and you learned all those things that were going to happen, wasn't this one of them? Woolsey taking over?" Keller asks.

Remembering back and grimacing at her, "well, the circumstances were, uh, different."

Keller looks from him to McKay and Ronon and back to McKay, "well, still, it is a little unsettling. I mean maybe it's harder to change the course of events than we thought."

Nervously looking at all of them, his hands shifting on the table, "well, I wouldn't worry about it. I mean, uh, the fact that Sheppard's here makes all the difference, right?" McKay says.

Lifting his coffee cup up off the table and looking between McKay and Keller, "Woolsey wasn't the weirdest thing about that timeline."

"What do you mean?" Keller asks him.

Bringing his cup up to his lips and uncomfortably looking between them again, "never mind." he says and as he places his cup back down on the table and leans back in his chair, Woolsey enters the conference room.

Walking into the room, seeing everyone, "well." and coming to the chair at the head of the table and pulling it out, "I see everyone's here. Let's get started." he says dropping his folders on the table and sitting down in the chair.

He turns when the doors closing, startle him a little, "hmm." and opening his folders and looking at everyone, "first of all, I'd like to congratulate all of you on the success you've had dismantling what's left of Michael's organization."

Looking at everyone, "except one thing…we haven't found him yet." Ronon says.

Checking his file, "well, he was on the cruiser you destroyed in orbit around M2S-445."

"There's a chance he may have made it off the ship." John says.

Pulling out a page from the file, "right. You're referring to this statement given by one of Michael's ex-mercenaries claiming to have seen him alive recently."

"That's what he said."

Placing the piece of paper down and looking at Ronon, "this is one unsubstantiated report from a highly unreliable source."

"Well, someone stole our Jumper off that ship."

Meeting McKay's gaze, "I thought you needed Ancient DNA to pilot one of those?"

Shaking his head, "not necessarily. We've developed a gene therapy that works…some of the time."

"He is responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people. If there is even a chance that he is still alive, we must continue the search." Teyla says, concern written across her face.

Looking between her and John, "I'm sorry. But I can't devote the resources of this base to the never-ending pursuit of a single individual across an entire galaxy. Even if I knew for a fact he were still alive, I still wouldn't authorize it unless you have some new, credible evidence as to his whereabouts. Do you?"

Looking from him to Teyla and back, "no." John says.

Shutting the current folder, "then for the time being, I shall consider the matter…closed." and opening a new one, "as to these prisoner hybrids, I understand they're being held in a camp on the mainland?"

"That's right." John says.

Looking at Keller, "and how is their rehabilitation progressing?" and realizing that she is not paying attention, "doctor?"

Looking up from her coffee cup, startled that everyone is looking at her, "uh, right, uh…well, um, we've had some success using a slightly modified version of the original retrovirus that created Michael in the first place. It weeds out the Wraith DNA, and allows them to resume their original human form over time."

Making some notes in his folder, "without any lasting ill-effects?"

Looking at him and shaking her head, "none that we've detected so far. No."

"Many have already completed the treatment. They're wondering when they might be released." Teyla says.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves." Woolsey says, as he looks from her to his notebook making notes.

"These people are victims, Mr. Woolsey."

"Maybe so, but until very recently, they were also enemy-combatants."

"Fine, well then we'll just keep them there forever." McKay says, sarcasm dripping from every word.

Inwardly sighing and looking at him, "no. We'll keep them there until I'm satisfied that they can be trusted." and taking out his file on Beckett, "now…regarding the situation with our friend in the stasis pod. You seem to have been giving a significant amount of attention to this lately." he says, looking at Keller.

"Well, once we got our hands on Michael's medical research, I thought I should make it a priority to look for a solution."

"And have you found one?"

Face lighting up, "maybe. We found a serum that, in lab tests at least, seems to be capable of stabilizing the clone cells."

Letting go of the piece of paper he had been looking at and looking directly at her, "so what's the problem?"

Surprise registering on her face at the fact that he is talking to her about Beckett as if he were nothing at all, "Carson was near death when we put him in that chamber. I don't want to take him out until I know for sure. But, lab tests can only do so much."

"But that problem's never going to go away, is it? If you've reached the limit of what your research can tell you, then you need to make a decision. Either proceed or put the matter aside and get back to your regular duty. Right?"

She shakes her head in the affirmative and as he closes the folder, she looks at everyone else in the room, seeing that they are just as surprised by his reasoning as she is.

Woolsey looks up from all of the folders in front of him and looking at each of them in turn, "okay, so if there is nothing else, this meeting is over. Thank you all for coming. Dismissed." he says.

Everyone gets up to leave, Keller hurrying out of the conference room before John and his team.

Woolsey stands up and seeing that John and his team are almost to the exit, "Colonel if you have a moment, I'd like to move our meeting with Major Lorne up to now."

Turning to face him, "sure thing. Give me a couple of minutes to hail him and we'll meet you in your office."

Coming to stand next to him, "very good. I'll see you in a couple of minutes then."

Nodding his head, "yes sir." and as he watches Woolsey head for his office, he lifts his hand to his radio and with a sigh, "Colonel Sheppard to Major Lorne."

"Yes Colonel, what can I do for you?"

"You can meet me in Woolsey's office in five minutes. He wants to meet with us now."

"I'll be there asap sir. Lorne out."

The radio link closed, John decides to grab another cup of coffee. A couple minutes later he is walking with Lorne into Woolsey's office. The meeting, which he had been hoping would only take twenty minutes, ends up lasting two hours. Leaving the office, he shares a look with Lorne and after radioing McKay to check on the progress of getting Beckett out of stasis, he heads out to his office to start in on the paperwork that Woolsey asked him to update.

xxxx

Three hours later, up to his eyeballs in reports and emails, John pushes away from his desk and sighing, looks out the window, getting lost in the waves hitting the pier.

The door chime going off startles him out of his thoughts and turning his head towards the door, "come in." he shouts and seeing Lexi striding towards him, "you're a sight for sore eyes."

Smiling as she takes a seat on the edge of his desk, looking down at him, "yeah well, Evan radioed and said that Woolsey has you banished here until the reports are the way he wants them."

Closing his eyes and resting his head against the back of the chair, "I hate paperwork. I'd rather be fighting the Wraith."

Laughing and sliding onto his lap, "it can't be that bad."

Opening his eyes at the feeling of her arms wrapping around his neck, "ha! He's having me rewrite practically everything. It's gonna take forever."

Leaning in, she kisses him and as she pulls away, "I've got to do the same thing and from what I've heard, so do Rodney, Jen and every other department head."

Leaning in to kiss her again and pulling away, "you feel like grabbing a bite to eat?"

Standing up and holding her hand out to him, "sure." she says and as he takes her hand, she pulls him to his feet.

They walk side by side to the mess and after grabbing some food they head out to a table on the balcony. As they sit down, she doesn't miss the grimace on his face, "John, what is it?"

Sighing as he sits down, "has Keller told you about what Woolsey wants her to do with Beckett?"

Taking a bite of her sandwich, "no."

"He wants her to take him out of stasis and treat him with the serum that she has." he says, playing with his food.

"Did she tell him that she isn't sure if the serum will work?"

Taking a bite of his sandwich, "yeah. But, he still wants her to take him out of the pod."

Sighing, "well I can understand where he's coming from." and seeing his eyebrows shoot up, "look, at some point you have to take the research out of the testing phase and hope that it works in the real world."

Swallowing some water, "that's exactly what he said." and taking another sip of water, "but what happens if it doesn't work?"

Finishing her sandwich, "I wouldn't worry about it. Jen knows what she's doing."

Just as he is about to say something his radio goes off and lifting his hand to turn it on, "Sheppard here."

"Carson is out of stasis and Jennifer has asked that we all be there when he wakes up."

Looking at Lexi, "okay Teyla. Did she say when that would be?"

"Soon."

Getting up and motioning for Lexi to come with him, "okay. I'm on my way. Sheppard out."

Falling into step with him, "Carson?"

"Yeah. Can you come?"

Stopping in front of the transporter, "no. I've got a session that I can't get out of. But don't worry. I'll stop by later." and seeing the emotions playing in his eyes, taking his hand and squeezing it, "hey. It's gonna work."

Squeezing hers back, letting go and stepping into the transporter, "I hope so. I'll see you later." he says as he turns to hit the screen.

Before the doors close, "John, when you see Jen, tell her to get some sleep."

As they slide shut, "will do."

xxxx

Five hours later, Lexi walks into her quarters, eyes glued to her tablet going over the notes that she made over the past hour during her chat with Beckett. Not watching where she is going, she trips over John's boots on the way to her side of the bed.

Stumbling, "ahh!" and as she starts to fall forward, her tablet clattering to the ground, she feels two strong arms around her waist, stopping her from hitting the ground. Instead, she ends up falling onto the bed, in John's arms, her back to his chest.

"And I thought McKay was dangerous when walking." she hears him say in her ear and turning over onto her left side, she sees him smirking.

Smiling, "my hero."

Pulling her closer to him, "and what do I get for being your hero?"

Leaning in she kisses him and pulling away, "I can think of a few things."

The next thing he knows, clothes are flying everywhere and they are under the blankets making love. Forty minutes later, they fall asleep in each other's arms.

  


  
  
  
  



	12. Chapter 12

  


The alarm goes off at 0630 and turning over, Lexi swats it off. Turning back over onto her left side, she jumps a little as John is staring back at her, a thoughtful look on his face, "what?" she asks.

He closes his eyes and shifting onto his back, "how long did you know Carson?"

Snuggling next to him, "well, let's see. I think I met him before he headed down to the base in Antarctica. Yeah, that seems about right."

"Really?" he asks, opening his eyes and sitting up against the pillows, which causes her to sit up as well.

Crossing her legs in front of her and looking at him, "yeah. Why do you want to know?"

"Oh, no reason." he says, not meeting her eyes.

"John, I've talked with him and even though he might be a clone, it's Carson."

"It's just..."

"Weird."

"Yeah. I mean...I thought I'd come to terms with him being gone and then he comes back, only for it not to be him, but yet it is." he says, running his hands through his hair and looking at her.

Frowning and taking his hand in hers, "think about how he feels. He's coming back to people he loves, but, who for the past two years have believed that he was dead. And now, he has to deal with the fact that for part of the time he was in captivity another Carson was living the life he thought was his."

"But don't you think he realizes that we've accepted him as Carson, after everything we just did for him?"

"He does realize that. But it's still gonna be awkward for a while. Especially now that he has to go back to Earth."

Frowning, "yeah, the IOA's really stupid sometimes and Woolsey's not helping matters."

"Well, I've a feeling that he'll come around soon. Give him time. This place isn't that easy to get used to for someone like him."

"What do you mean?" he asks, confusion written across his face.

Smiling and getting out of the bed, she grabs her robe from the back of her desk chair and motioning for him to follow her into the bathroom, "he's a very by the book person, John. And the way things happen around here, well, let's just say that there is no rule book for a place like this."

He gets out of the bed and sliding his boxers on, he follows her into the bathroom. As he puts toothpaste on his toothbrush, "you can say that again."

Turning on the shower, "anyway. Whatcha got on tap for today?" she asks him.

Spitting into the sink and washing out his mouth, "more paperwork." he says, grimacing. Then switching places with her, he strips off his boxers and as she brushes her teeth, he gets in the shower, "why, what're you up to?"

Opening the shower door and getting in with him, "pretty much the same as you, although I have a fairly full day of patients as well."

Washing the shampoo out of his hair, "you want to go for a run later?"

Wiping some soap out of his eye, "sure. I'll radio you when I'm done with my sessions."

"Great." he says.

They finish showering and once they are dressed they head out for the mess. They have breakfast and once they finish their meal, they each head off for their respective offices.

xxxx

Six hours later, John is sitting in his office. Pushing away from the desk, he rubs his hands over his face and through his hair. Sighing, as he is finally finished with rewriting the reports for Woolsey, he hits the send button and just as he is about to get up to go grab lunch, his radio goes off.

Hitting the radio in his ear, "go ahead."

"John, we have a problem." Teyla says.

Closing his lap top and standing up, "what type of problem?"

"Just come to Jennifer's quarters quickly and bring a couple of marines."

Rushing out of his office, "okay, Sheppard out." and on his way into the transporter, "Sheppard to Major Kersey."

"Yes sir."

"Major, I need a couple of your guys to meet me at Keller's quarters ASAP."

"On the way sir. Kersey out."

The radio link closed, John heads for Keller's quarters. Just as he is rounding the corner of the hallway that leads to them, he remembers that he had plans to run with Lexi in half an hour.

Hitting his radio, "Sheppard to Dr. Carter."

"John, what's wrong?"

Frowning to himself, as he would much rather be going on the run they were supposed to take this afternoon, then having to deal with whatever crisis he is about to deal with, "Lexi, can I take a rain check for the run?"

"Yeah. That's fine. But I'll ask again. What's wrong?"

Meeting up with the marines and seeing Keller's quarters coming into sight, "something's up with Keller. I'll let you know, as soon as we've got some idea about what we're facing."

"Okay. But John, be careful."

Smiling to himself, "I'm always careful. Sheppard out." he shuts the radio off and walking into Keller's quarters ahead of the marines, "what the hell is going on?"

  



	13. Chapter 13

  


The following morning John is in his quarters about to grab his golf bag, so that he can meet Lexi at the driving range, when the door chime goes off. Taking out one of the irons and walking up to the door, swiping it open, he is surprised to see Woolsey standing there with an armed marine.

"Colonel can I come in?"

Eyeing the marine warily and stepping aside to let him in, "yeah." and following him further into his quarters, "what's with the marine?"

Coming to a stop next to the bed, "it's just a precaution. I need you to stay here in your quarters." and gesturing for him to sit down, "Dr. Beckett found an alien pathogen in Dr. Keller's blood."

Taking a seat on the couch, looking up at him, "so he thinks that's what's making her sick and that she picked it up when she came to rescue us?"

Grimacing, "right now, we're working under the assumption that this alien pathogen was present somewhere in that lab, possibly as part of one of Michael's experiments. When the building was destroyed, it was released."

Getting frustrated, "we've been back for a month now! If it was gonna spread to the general population, it would have already happened."

"I know. Doctor Beckett is now fairly confident that it's not contagious."

"Right. Then why confine us to our quarters?"

"You've seen what's happening to Doctor Keller."

Frustration turning to anger, "yeah, but it's not happening to me!"

"Not yet. There could be any number of random physiological reasons why it started with Doctor Keller but that's no guarantee that it's not going to happen to the rest of you. It could be a matter of days; it could be a matter of hours. Even Colonel Carter's been quarantined back at Stargate Command. Look, I know it's hard for you to stay on the sidelines, Colonel, but it's the right call."

Standing up and following him towards the door, "in the meantime. What are we gonna do about Keller?"

Turning back to face him, "we're still assessing the situation." and turning around he walks out of John's quarters, the marine outside swiping the door control, locking John in.

Watching the doors close behind Woolsey, wanting nothing more than to use his golf club to break something, he takes a deep breath and reaching up for his radio, activating it, "Colonel Sheppard to Dr. Carter."

"John are you okay?"

Smiling to himself and shaking his head at the fact that she knows him so well that she can tell when something is off, "yeah. I'm fine. But Woolsey has me confined to my quarters, so I won't be able to meet you at the driving range."

"But why?"

Sighing, "because I'm infected with what Keller has."

"So I guess that means that everyone else who was on M2S-445 are infected as well?"

Sitting down on his bed, propping the pillows against the wall, leaning against them "yeah. Which means that I can't do anything to help Beckett figure this out."

"John, don't worry about it. I'm sure Carson will be able to figure it out without you. Get some rest. I'll check in with you later. Carter out."

Taking out his radio and placing it on his bedside table, he slumps against the pillows, still fuming,  _rest. Right!_  and getting up he walks over to his desk and boots up his tablet to try and keep himself busy.

xxxx

Nine hours later Lexi is pacing in the infirmary, waiting for Beckett to get back from meeting with Woolsey in the Control room. Pacing back and forth to try and wake herself up, as she hasn't had any sleep in the past twenty-four hours,  _yeah, and knowing what's going on, I doubt that John has slept,_ runs through her mind.

Five minutes later, she is still pacing back and forth and seeing Beckett coming towards her, "Carson, I've been thinking."

Sitting down on the stool in front of her and tiredly rubbing his hands over his face, "aye, Lexi. What about?"

"What if you use the phage?"

"I don't know if we're there yet."

Sighing and sitting down next to him, "well, we've gotten no where with any of our other research."

Patting her arm, "I know love, but I don't want to use it unless we really have to. I have no idea what the side effects would be." and eyes settling on the ring on her left hand, "Lexi, are you still with Major Lorne?"

"Um, no. We broke up before he came here."

Frowning, "I always liked the two of you together. Are you still friends?"

Smiling at him, "best friends."

"Good, I'm glad. But, who may I ask gave you that ring?"

Blushing and not meeting his gaze, "ah, um..."

"Lexi, come on, I've missed all the gossip."

"Jo...John gave it to me." she says, and she can't help the fear from coming out in her voice.

He grabs her shoulder gently and looking her in the eye, "don't worry. I'm sure we'll figure this out."

Forcing a smile to her lips "I know. It's just another day in the Pegasus galaxy." and getting up from the stool, "well I'm gonna leave you to it. Please keep me in the loop as much as you can."

Smiling at her as she walks out of the infirmary, "aye love, will do."

xxxx

Eight hours later, around 0130, Lexi is sitting in her office, trying to focus on the information scrolling across her tablet screen. All of sudden a text box pops up on her screen and after reading it she hits her radio and waits impatiently for John to answer.

  


  
  
  
  



	14. Chapter 14

  


Sitting on a gurney in the infirmary, having agreed to let Beckett test the phage on him,  _what were you thinking John?_  runs through his mind.

"John Sheppard, you are certifiably insane!" coming through his radio, brings him back to the present and he winces at the fear in Lexi's voice.

Tapping his radio, "Lexi, please, it's gonna be fine and it has to be me." he says, hoping that the fear that he is feeling doesn't come through in his voice.

"No it doesn't." she yells back.

Smiling to himself, "Lexi, it's my responsibility and you know that. I'm gonna be okay, so don't worry."

Sighing, "do you want me to be there?"

"No, stay where you are. You don't need to see this. But, I'm looking forward to seeing you soon."

"Me too, you crazy pilot. Love you."

"Ditto, Sheppard out." he says, as he sees a corpsman walking up to him. Closing the link, he takes out the radio and just as he hands it to the corpsman, Ronon walks up to his left side.

He watches as Ronon reaches for the restraints that are tied to the bed and starts to tie his legs down with them, while the corpsman ties his hands down, making sure that the pulse ox monitor is on good and tight.

Curious, he looks down at the restraints and out of the corner of his eye, he sees Beckett coming to stand next to him, "restraints, huh?"

"Aye, I'm sorry. But I'm anticipating a sever reaction."

Grimacing, "oh, great."

"Now, you're absolutely sure about this? Remember, the formula comes from Michael, so as far as we know, it could..."

Forcing himself to look at Beckett, "turn me into a bug? Been there, done that."

"No, actually, I was going to say it could kill you."

Getting a little annoyed and just wanting to get it over with, "just...give me the shot."

"Okay." Beckett says and he injects him in the neck. Pulling the injector away and patting him on the shoulder, "now, it should take a few minutes to kick in, so just try...to relax."

Watching as he walks away towards McKay, "oh, ok, I'll just, I'll relax." he says, and he keeps his eyes on Beckett until Ronon comes into his line of vision.

"How do you feel?" Ronon asks.

Looking at him, "I don't feel anything. I don't even think that..." he trails off as his vision starts to go blurry and he feels waves of pain shooting through him, causing him to strain against the restraints.

He is aware of Ronon calling his name and then calling for Beckett and as Beckett, Ronon and McKay all crowd around his gurney, "oh, I think these restraints were a good idea." he grits out and then everything completely blurs out, except for the excruciating pain wracking his body.

After what feels like forever, his heart speeds up so fast that it feels like it is going to jump out of his chest and then he feels nothing as everything stops.

The next thing he knows, he feels air rushing into his lungs and he can barely move, as his body feels like a ton of bricks. The breathing mask is taken away and he takes a breath on his own. Turning his head as much as he can and with what feels like every ounce of energy he has left, "how'd I do?"

Sighing and patting John's shoulder, "you did great son, just rest."

Not being able to stop himself from falling asleep, he lets his eyes drift shut.

xxxx

What feels like days, but in fact is only six hours later John starts to regain consciousness. Not wanting to wake up as his body feels like he just went through an obstacle course, but hearing the pacing feet of someone close by, he opens his eyes, groggily asking, "what happened?" and turning his head on the pillow, he sees McKay shooting him a concerned look.

Meeting his eyes, "it worked. They just sent Ronon to give her the shot."

Pushing himself slowly into a sitting position, as he is still sore from the recent task of coming back from the dead, "when?"

McKay stops pacing, "he just got there." and as he reaches for an ear piece and hands it to John, "look, I'm tapped into the intercom."

Putting the earpiece in his ear, John listens to the conversation between Woolsey and Ronon.

Finally as Ronon asks, "does anyone have any better ideas?" John realizes that something needs to be done and as he reaches for another injector, readying another dose, McKay asks, "what are you doing?"

Taking his eyes off the injector and focusing on him, "if I'm right, this is about to go very, very wrong."

As he places the prepared dose into his left front pocket and heads for the door, McKay angrily yells after him, "you...you can't! We're quarantined!"

Not really caring and continuing to walk out of the infirmary, "I'm cured, remember?"

He reaches the Control room and after getting up to speed on the situation he has Zelenka turn the power back on and he has a little conversation with the entity, "Dr. Keller this is Colonel Sheppard. Do you read?"

"I hear you Colonel, but I'm not Dr. Keller anymore."

"Well, who are you?"

"I have no designation yet. I'll be given one when I'm complete."

"What about Ronon?"

"You mean the intruder? He's alive, for the moment. He's been neutralized. I can feel his pulse. It's weak. It would only take the slightest squeeze."

Grimacing at the malice in the voice, readjusting the injector and placing it back in his pocket, "yeah, but you don't want do that because uh...he's one of you, remember?" he says, and tapping his radio to turn it off and pointing at Beckett, as he heads to the Jumper bay, "keep her talking."

Yelling after him, "where are you going?" Woolsey asks.

Running up the stairs to the Jumper bay, "I'm gonna go finish this."

He runs into the Jumper and as he sits down in the pilot's seat and starts everything up, he hears Woolsey over his radio, "Sheppard what are you doing?"

"I'm taking a little shortcut. Sorry I didn't have time to fill out the paperwork."

He flies up and out of the tower and as he reaches the tower that holds the isolation room, "ok, I see it now. That stuff is growing all over the place. This may hurt."

Ramming the Jumper into the tower, he is jostled around like a rag doll, hitting the controls with his chest.

Blinking his eyes to try and stop the Jumper from swimming and graying out in front of him, he stands up slowly, happy when the immediate area doesn't tilt upside down. But as he takes a step, he inwardly groans as his head and chest are screaming. Pushing the pain to the back of his mind, he walks over to the bench and takes out a 9 mil and a clip. Inserting the clip into the gun and pulling out the injector, he heads to the back of the Jumper.

Swiping the control pad, the back hatch lowers and he is stunned by what meets his eyes. It's like being inside a big red and pink pumpkin. Slowly he makes his way out of the Jumper and into the isolation room, careful not to step on the tendrils that are everywhere.

He inwardly gasps at the sight of Keller almost completely covered in the tendrils, except for her face. Stepping up to the bed and seeing an exposed piece of her neck, he injects her with the liquid in the syringe. At first she doesn't react to it, but then her eyes snap open and she stares up at the ceiling with a look of pain and fear on her face. He slowly backs away from the bed, as the tendrils are starting to thrash wildly and out of nowhere, one of the larger tendrils decides to use him as a shish kabob, impaling him on his left side.

As he falls to his knees in even more pain than he thought was possible, he brings his right hand up aiming the gun at Keller's head, realizing that he still has to do something to stop her. A few seconds later, as he is trying his hardest not to pass out from the pain, he sighs inwardly as she finally loses consciousness. As she does so, the tendril that is currently using him as a pincushion, flops dead on the floor, the other tendrils also dying.

It's only after he has dropped the gun to the floor and cleared his head again, that he realizes that Woolsey is yelling over the radio, "Colonel Sheppard, what's your status? Colonel Sheppard?"

Hearing the concern in Woolsey's voice, forces him to focus and taking a breath, which shoots white-hot pain up his left side, "wha...? I've been better."

"What happened?"

Feeling the room starting to gray out around him, "you'd better come get us."

"All right Colonel, Dr. Beckett and a med team are on their way. Hold on."

Grunting his response, as it is the only sound he can make at this point and closing his eyes, he tries to breathe through the pain. The next thing he knows, he feels two strong hands on his shoulders, gently guiding him to lie down on the floor on his back. He opens his eyes and tries to focus on the face that is swimming in front of them.

Blinking a couple of times, his eyes finally focus and as they focus, so does his hearing "we've got you Colonel. Just take it easy."

Reaching up to grab Beckett's shirt, his hand shaking from the effort, "Keller?"

Pulling his hand off of him, feeling the tremors wracking through it, "she's fine, John. You did well. Now I need you to keep still. We're gonna saw through this thing and then pack it so we can move you."

"O…kay." and wincing as he tries to move away from the pain now radiating through his stomach muscles, he reaches a hand out again, grabbing a hold of Beckett's arm, "Ronon?"

"He's fine as well, son." and talking to his staff, "easy now lads, not too rough."

"It...hurts." John moans, his eyes closing. The next thing he knows, he feels someone flicking his face and opening his eyes he sees Beckett's concerned and kind eyes staring back at him.

"John, I need you to stay with me for a wee bit longer."

He nods his head, but it sends sparks of light dancing in front of his eyes. As the pain and nausea finally reach levels that not even he can handle, "Carson..."

  


  
  
  
  



	15. Chapter 15

  


Beckett sees the last remaining color leaving John's face before, "Carson." and looking at the monitors, he frowns. Realizing that time is of the essence now, "all right people, let's get him on the gurney now. I want him in surgery yesterday."

The team moves him onto the gurney, carefully avoiding the tendril that is now packed tightly with gauze and as they raise the gurney up, Beckett gets on the radio, "I need five liters of AB Positive and get the OR ready for us, we'll be there shortly."

As he signs off, he notices that John's pulse is racing and his BP is falling. He curses under his breath as John starts to go south on them and he is forced to climb on top of the gurney to start CPR, "don't do this Colonel, we need you here. Come on lads, I don't want to do this in the hall."

The gurney is wheeled into the OR and as he climbs off, Marie hands him the paddles and he shocks John, happy that his heart starts after only one jolt.

Handing the paddles back to Marie and heading off into the wash room, "Marie, intubate him for me and get him ready for the extraction." he says, and as he walks into the wash room, he hits his radio, "Dr. Cole, how are Ronon and Jennifer?"

"They are well, Carson. Focus on the Colonel and I will update you when you are through. Cole out."

The radio link closes and having washed and dried off his hands, he heads into the OR and slips into the gown that Marie is holding for him.

"How's the Colonel's BP?" he asks as he steps up to the table.

"87/58 and holding steady, doctor." Katya tells him.

Sighing, as he can only hope that it doesn't get any worse, "okay people let's get this bloody thing out of him."

xxxx

Nine and half hours later, he walks out of the OR for the waiting room. Walking through the doors, he sees Lexi, Teyla, Rodney and Woolsey all waiting nervously for him. They all stand up as he comes to a stop in front of them, "Carson, how is he?"

He motions for all of them to sit down and tiredly rubbing his face with his hands, "I'll be honest with you Rodney, it was a wee bit closer then I'd have liked. That bloody creature skewered him and nicked his spleen. He lost a lot of blood from internal bleeding, but I got that under control and his pressure is coming back up. He's running a fever and if that wasn't enough, he has two broken ribs and a concussion."

"Doctor, when will he be conscious?" Woolsey asks.

Sighing "I'm going to keep him on the vent and sedated through the night. I'll wean him off it in the morning." and staring at all of them, "I suggest you all go get some sleep. We all could use it."

"Thank you doctor. Please keep me updated." Woolsey says, and as he gets up to leave everyone else gets up too.

"Carson, may we see him?

"I'm not sure that it's such a good idea." and seeing the look McKay is throwing his way, "oh, all right. But not until I have him out of post op and then only for fifteen minutes."

"But Carson..."

"No Rodney. Fifteen minutes, not a minute more. You will go and get some food and then you will go and get some sleep." and seeing Lexi staring past him, he turns around to see Marie coming up to them, "is he settled?"

Nodding, "yes Doctor."

"Thank you, Marie. Okay, you can see him now." he says and turning to face them again, he watches as McKay and Teyla walk to John's room. Noticing that Lexi is not walking with them he turns around to see her sitting down in a chair, with her head in her hands.

Walking over to sit down next to her and gently draping his left arm around her shoulders, he feels her shaking, "Lexi, are you okay?"

Taking a deep breath and looking up at him, tears streaking down her cheeks, "yeah, Carson. I'm good. It's just."

Rubbing her back, "aye, I know." he says, a smile curving his lips and then the question he had about the scar he saw on John's right side pops into his head again, "Lexi?"

"Yeah?"

"How and when did John get the scar on his right side?"

Scowling, "about a month ago, a building fell on him. A piece of rebar impaled him and then even after Jen told him he shouldn't, he went off and saved Teyla and Torren."

"Jennifer let him go?" he asks, shock written across his face.

"Yeah, I wanted to throttle her for that one. But you know how convincing he can be."

"Aye that I do. He can be very stubborn." and looking at her more closely, not having missed the fact that she feels a little warm and that she is now rubbing her temples, "Lexi, are you sure you're okay?"

Dropping her hands down onto her lap and smiling, "I'm just tired. You're not going to take him off the vent until tomorrow, right?"

"That's right."

Standing up, "great. I was thinking I'd stop by around 0600. Is that okay?"

Standing up as well, "that'll work. Would you like me to wait until you get here?"

"Sure." she says, as she turns to walk out of the room, but stopping at the exit and turning to face him, "Carson, it's good to have you back."

Smiling and blushing a little, "thank you, love. I'll see you tomorrow morning, sleep well." he says, and he watches her disappear. Looking at his watch he realizes that it has been twenty minutes, so he heads for John's room and kicks Teyla and McKay out. After checking on John, who is doing as well as can be expected, he walks over to Keller's office to grab a few hours of sleep on the cot.

  


  
  
  
  



	16. Chapter 16

  


Leaving the infirmary, Lexi heads for the transporter, ignoring the voice in her head that is yelling at her for not admitting to Beckett how bad she really feels. Just as she is about to reach the transporter her radio goes off. Raising her right hand to her ear, she turns it on, "this is Dr. Carter, go ahead."

"Dr. Carter, this is Mr. Woolsey. Can you please come meet me in my office?"

Inwardly sighing and pinching the bridge of her nose as her head begins to throb, "I'll be right there sir. Carter out."

Stopping in front of the transporter, she smiles as the doors open, "Evan, what're you doing here?" she asks standing aside to let him off.

Pointing down at his leg, "the boot comes off tonight." he says with a huge smile, but it falters as he really looks at her, "Lexi, you look horrible."

Offering him the best smile she can muster right now, "I'm fine. Just really tired. It's been a long couple of days."

"You should go get some sleep." he says, pushing her into the transporter.

Sighing, "that was my plan. But Mr. Woolsey has other things in mind. I'm on my way to see him right now."

Scowling, "idiot. What does he want?"

"Evan, don't. I'm sure it has something to do with my paperwork."

Frowning at her, "Lexi, just be careful, I don't trust him, yet. Oh, how's the Colonel?"

"Stable. Carson's in there, he can fill you in better." she says, as she holds out her hand, to hit the screen.

He starts walking to the infirmary doors and just before the doors to the transporter close, he turns around, "Lexi, get some sleep."

Waving at him, "I'm hoping to."

xxxx

A few minutes later, walking into Woolsey's office she stops in front of the desk and waits for him to look up from his tablet.

He does and as he gestures for her to sit down, "ah, Dr. Carter. I'm glad that you could come meet with me."

"Sir, please call me Lexi and it was no problem. What did you want to see me about?"

"I was just wondering why you were down in the infirmary earlier?"

Realizing that he hasn't heard the scuttlebutt about her relationship with John, "uh. Yes. Well, um, you see Colonel Sheppard and I are in a relationship."

Frowning, "oh. But isn't that frowned upon?"

"No sir, John's not my commanding officer. I'm not in the military."

"Ah, yes, well. Okay, then."

Wincing ever so slightly as her headache spikes, "was that all?"

A little taken aback at her tone, but covering it well, "yes, that was it. Have a pleasant night."

Standing up and heading for the exit, "you too sir."

By the time she is in her bed, it's 2045, but as far as she is concerned it could be past mid night, as she is so tired,  _well that's what I get for getting no sleep over the past two days,_  and curling up under the blankets, she's asleep within seconds.

xxxx

The buzzing of her alarm wakes her up and letting out a moan, she rolls over and groggily swats it off. Looking at it, she knows that there's something wrong with the numbers that are flashing back at her. As her brain finally comprehends what her eyes are seeing, she bolts up right and reaches for her radio. Slipping it into her ear and activating it, "Dr. Carter to Dr. Beckett, please come in."

"Go ahead Lexi."

Scrubbing her hands over her face, trying to wake herself up, "Carson it's 1100, I thought we'd agreed on 0600."

"Aye love, we did. But I stopped by early this morning to change your alarm."

Alarm bells go off in her head, first at the thought that she was so dead to the world that she did not hear him come in and second, that something is wrong, "is John okay?"

"Lexi, he's fine. I took him off the vent around 0700. But he's still running a pretty high fever, so he's not really coherent right now and I wasn't happy with how you looked last night."

Sighing, "Carson, I'm fine." and starting to pull herself out of the bed, "I'll be there in forty minutes."

"No you will not. I know that you're off today, so take advantage of it and sleep. I have a feeling that his temp will break soon and when it does, I'll call you and let you know."

Wanting to protest, but realizing that he is right, as she is still exhausted, "all right. But please let me know…"

"As soon as it breaks, love. I promise. Now get some sleep. Doctor's orders."

Sighing, "you should too. You're not at 100% either."

"I'm doing okay. Beckett out."

Pulling out her radio, she puts it back on the bedside table and lying back down under the blankets, "stupid Lexi. Really stupid." she says out loud and closing her eyes, she's asleep in an instant.

xxxx

Six hours later, Beckett calling her over the intercom wakes her up. Sleepily she reaches for her radio and putting it in her ear, "go…ahead Carson."

"Lexi, John's fever has broken and he's asking for you. How're you feeling?"

She lies there for a couple of seconds, taking stock of how she feels, "I'm good. I'll be there in half an hour. Carter out." she says, pushing how crappy she really feels to the back of her mind, as she really wants to see John.

Half an hour later she is walking into the infirmary heading for John's room, stopping short as she sees Keller and Beckett walking towards her, "Jen, it's good to see you back on your feet."

Sharing a look with Beckett, "thanks Lexi. How're you feeling?"

Glaring at Beckett, "Carson!" and realizing that she just raised her voice, she runs her fingers through her hair, "sorry. I'm fine. Can I see John now?"

Nodding, "aye love. Go right ahead." and leaning in to give her a kiss on her cheek, "I've got to go though. The dial out is in a couple of minutes. I'll see you soon."

Smiling, "thank you Carson. Take care."

Walking out of the infirmary with Keller, talking over his shoulder, "you too love."

xxxx

Walking next to Keller on the way up to the Gate room, "see what I mean?"

Looking at him as they reach the transporter, "yes. I'll see about getting her to take it easy. I doubt that she will though. She's worse than his teammates when he's injured or sick."

Getting into the transporter, "aye, I'd imagine she would be. Anyway, thank you love for finding the serum."

Smiling at him, "it was my pleasure Carson and thank you for saving my life as well. Take care of yourself."

As the doors shut, "you too love."

She watches the light flash and turning around she heads back to the infirmary to get caught up on everything.

xxxx

Lexi had watched Keller and Beckett leave the infirmary and when they were no longer in sight, she turned to walk into John's room. Again stopping short as her eyes come to rest on John, taking in everything from the monitor hooked up to him, to his head leaning back against the pillow, eyes shut against the obvious pain he's in. She stealthily walks over to the bed and leaning over, she kisses him on the lips. He startles for a second, but recovers quickly wrapping his arms around her, kissing her back.

Pulling away and smiling at him, "hey, how ya doin? And don't tell me you're not in pain."

Scowling, "I'm okay."

"John, you have broken ribs, a nicked spleen, a concussion and a hole in your side from where that thing decided to skewer you."

Grabbing her hand and pulling her to sit down on the edge of the bed, "I don't want the morphine anymore, it makes me feel like crap."

She doesn't miss him shifting uncomfortably and rolling her eyes at his stubbornness, "fine. Then I'll see if Jen can give you something else."

Sighing and closing his eyes, "I can handle it." he grits out and opening his eyes, looking at her, concern in his eyes, "Carson mentioned that he changed your alarm this morning."

"I'm gonna kill him!" she growls, as she stands up and starts pacing. She stops short however as she catches him watching her with a huge smile on his lips, "what!"

"Lexi, you look like crap."

Deflating and letting a smirk play across her lips, "well thanks for putting it so bluntly." and coming to sit on the edge of the bed again, running her fingers through his hair, "I guess I'm just tired. It's been a trying couple of days to say the least. Plus, taking care of and worrying about you is a full time job."

He closes his eyes and she feels him relax under her touch and just when she thinks he's drifted off to sleep, "thanks Lexi, I know I'm not easy to handle…sometimes." he says, and then his breathing evens out and taking a look at the monitors, she smiles to herself.

Leaning forward, she kisses him on the lips and pulling away, "love you." she whispers and she heads out of the room for Keller's office.

Knocking on the door, "Jen?"

Looking up from her tablet, "Lexi, what can I do for you?" she asks waving at the chairs across from her.

Sitting down, "John's in pain."

Arching an eyebrow, "really?"

Frowning, "yeah."

"Well, Carson took him off the morphine, it was making him nauseous."

"I know, he told me. But what did he put him on instead?"

Pulling up his chart on her computer, "Ciramadol, 10 cc's every three. We could bump that up to 15, though."

"I think we should." standing up from the chair, the room spins a little and she has to grab the edge of the desk to steady herself, "I'm gonna head down to the mess and grab some coffee. I'll be back in an hour."

Getting up and walking with her to the door, "you should try and eat something."

Plastering a smile on her face, "I'm really okay, Jen."

Eyeing her critically, "all right then. I'm gonna go up the dosage."

Walking out of the infirmary and looking over her shoulder, "good. I'll see you later."

xxxx

An hour later, two large cups of coffee, an attempt at eating something, but failing miserably, three bottles of water, three Motrin and changing into sweats and Lorne's hoody, Lexi is heading back to the infirmary to see John. She almost makes it to his room, when she hears Keller calling her over, "Lexi..."

She does a one eighty and walks over to find her immersed in some research, "what's up?"

Looking up at her, "how're you doin?"

"How many times do I have to tell everyone, I'm just..." she grits out, bunching her fists together.

"Whoa, whoa. I wasn't talking about that. I wanted to know how you're doing with Sam being sent back to Earth. I didn't get to ask you before."

Slumping down on the stool that she is standing next to and running her hands over her face, as the Motrin is making no dent whatsoever in her headache, "it's hard, but it's not like I don't get it." and resting her chin on her right hand, "so how's John doing?"

"As well as can be expected. Carson noted that he wanted to keep him in bed for a week and I'm gonna try and keep him grounded for six weeks, so his ribs can fully heal, but..."

"But, he'll probably fight you tooth and nail." and smirking, "have you told him yet?"

"Yep, he's already starting to complain."

Standing up, smiling as the room stays straight, "all right. Can I see him?"

"Yeah, go right ahead."

Smiling, she heads into John's room to find him staring at the ceiling with a look of complete boredom on his face, "John?"

Turning his head towards her, smiling wide, "finally someone to keep me busy."

"How's the pain?" she asks, as she comes to sit on the right edge of his bed and her eyes scan the monitors and focus on him.

He takes her hand and pulls her down into his arms, careful of the IVs and wires trailing from his left arm and looking down at her, "what do you think?" he asks, as he leans down and plants a kiss on her lips.

She relaxes into him and they lie there kissing each other, until he stops himself and she looks up at him, "what is it?"

"Keller's coming. Damn monitors."

She smiles at him and sliding off the bed, she sits down in the chair just as Keller comes through the door.

"Colonel, are you okay?

"Yeah, doc. I'm fine."

Coming over to his side and checking him over, "are you sure? Your heart rate sped up there for a while."

Nodding, "nothing to worry about." he says, wiggling his eyebrows at Lexi, as Keller scans the monitors.

Looking at him and catching the tail end of the wiggling eyebrows, "oh. Right. That'd explain it." and looking at the two of them for a moment, "well, I really shouldn't but I'll take you off the monitor."

"Really?" they ask at the same time.

Laughing, "yeah, but the IV stays put. Besides, Lexi can keep an eye on you, even though I'd prefer it if she would take it easy."

"Jen, we've already been through this. I'm really fine."

"You've been spending too much time with him." Keller says, pointing at John.

"What do you mean?"

"You sound just like him. Have you seen yourself in a mirror lately?"

"She's right, Lexi. I hate to admit it but you do sound just like me."

Standing up quickly and glaring at them, "I am perfectly capable..." she trails off as the world spins wildly and as she starts to fall, "whoa."

"Lexi!" John shouts, the blankets already thrown off of himself as he tries to get out of the bed.

Guiding Lexi down to the ground, "Colonel don't get out of that bed!"

  


  
  
  
  



	17. Chapter 17

  


Keller had reached Lexi before she hit the floor, but she was only able to lower her down easily, not stop her from falling completely. Guiding her down, she sees out of the corner of her eye, that John is trying to get out of the bed, "Colonel don't get out of that bed!" and wrapping her right hand around Lexi's wrist, looking at her watch, she does a mental count of her pulse, which is flying, "I need some help in here!"

Not even a second later, two nurses rush into the room, "okay, easy now." she says as they lift Lexi up off the floor and as they lower her onto the other bed in the room, "get an IV started wide open, check her temp and draw some blood to send down to the lab."

Satisfied that they will carry out her orders, she spins around to find John still trying to get out of the bed. Worried that he will do more harm than good to himself, she quickly steps over to his side and placing a hand on his right shoulder, easily pushing him back against the bed, "stay still for a second and I'll unhook you."

Slumping against the pillows, exhausted from the effort of trying to get out of the bed, he winces as he feels her checking the sutures, although his eyes are still watching all the activity surrounding Lexi, "Doc, what's wrong with her?"

Recovering him with the blankets, "I'm not sure yet. But if I'd have to wager a guess, I'd say that she's got the virus that's been going around the base, as well as suffering from exhaustion." and watching him carefully, she doesn't miss the tightness around his eyes, "Colonel..." she waits until he's focused on her again, "why don't you try and get some more sleep?"

Frowning, "but I've been out since yesterday."

Shaking her head, "no, not really."

"Doctor?"

Turning to face Katya, glancing at the tablet being handed to her, "okay let's get 500 mg of Paracetamol and Azithromycin, into her." and looking up from it, she smiles as John's eyes are closed, not really asleep, but dozing.

"I figured as much." she says, as she walks over to Lexi's side, placing the tablet down on the table next to the bed. Out of the corner of her eye she sees Katya walking back in with the requested meds.

Accepting the syringes, tapping them out and injecting them into Lexi's IV, she hears Katya walking out of the room and as she is disposing of the syringes, she hears a soft moan coming from Lexi, "Lexi can you hear me?"

 _Now I know how John must feel every time he wakes up here,_  and as her senses come on line, she feels liquid running up the veins in her arm. Hearing Keller's voice, she cracks her eyes open, but shuts them quickly, as the lights make her head spin.

"Lexi, you can open your eyes now."

Blinking her eyes open again and pushing herself up on the pillow, "John?"

Placing a hand on her shoulder, "he's doing fine." and taking her hand off of her shoulder and reaching for the tablet, making some notes, "if you weren't feeling well, why didn't you say something?"

Not meeting her eyes, "I was doing okay." and going on the defensive, "and you should talk. You were dead on your feet before the whole Wraith ship situation."

"Yeah, but..."

"No buts, Jen. Everyone here works like crazy. I'm fine. Now take this IV out, please."

Quickly putting down the tablet and placing a hand on her shoulder again, "whoa, hang on a sec. You're exhausted and sick and if I have to, I'll restrain you until your fever breaks and you've slept another ten hours."

"She's right Lexi, don't fight her on it."

Their heads snap around to see John, holding a pillow to his stomach, swinging his legs gingerly over the side of the bed and getting unsteadily to his feet. Keller takes a step over to him to offer some support, but he waves her off, handing her the pillow and using the IV pole instead. She stays close to him though, as he walks the couple of steps from his bed to Lexi's and as he stops next to it, she reaches for a chair, but stops as she sees him sitting on the edge of the bed facing Lexi. Even though she is not happy that he is out of bed, she leaves the two of them alone in the room.

  


  
  
  
  



	18. Chapter 18

  


Sitting on the edge of Lexi's bed, John hears Keller leave the room and staring at Lexi, he can't believe how horrible she looks.  _Probably just as bad as I do._  and running his eyes over her, it hits him for the first time in a long time, just how much younger she is than him.

Smiling at her, as he feels her fingers entwining in his, "this is new."

"Yeah, it sure is." she says, as she closes her eyes.

"Lexi, you should've said something. I'm not the only one who needs to be taken care of."

Sighing and opening her eyes, "John, it's just, um...anyway, dealing with everything that we all deal with here..."

"It's easier to take care of everyone else. Yeah I get it." he says, and seeing her nod in agreement, frowning, "but you still should've said something."

Scowling, "and how many times have you not told the truth about not feeling 100%?"

"Hey, I..."

"Yeah, just what I thought." she says, closing her eyes again, pinching the bridge of her nose with her free hand.

Watching her, an idea strikes him and quirking an eyebrow, "you feel like getting out of here?"

Opening her eyes and considering the question for a couple of seconds,  _we should stay here. I mean Jen will have a cow if she comes back and finds us gone._  but seeing the pleading in his eyes, "lead the way."

Smiling at her, they pull out their IVs and as he gingerly slides off the bed, she swings her legs over the side of it. Sliding off of it, she feels her legs shaking and just as she is about to collapse, he grabs her around the waist. Looking up at him, she sees the grimace on his face, but he quickly covers it with a smile.

"This really isn't such a great idea." she says, as she gets her legs under her and sliding her arm around his waist she feels him rest his arm on her shoulders.

"Yeah well, I'd rather be anywhere but here." he says, and as they walk to the door, "you know in all the time I've spent in here, I don't think I've ever had a co-conspirator."

Looking up at him, "you mean the four of you have never had a mass breakout?"

He thinks about it for a second, "no. They've helped me break out. But we've never all been in here at the same time." and reaching the door, they peer out of the door into the main part of the infirmary.

Seeing that the coast is clear, they quickly and quietly walk out of it. Getting into the transporter, John hits the screen for the crew quarters section and as the doors open to let them out in the corridor where Lexi's quarters are, he inwardly sighs as he is happy that they haven't run into anyone.

Halfway down the corridor, Lexi feels him leaning on her more and more and looking up at him, "we're almost there and then I say we sleep for the next week."

Smiling down at her as they start walking again, "that sounds wonderful." and wincing as his side twinges, "you do have Motrin right?"

Frowning as she looks at him again, not missing the wince or the beads of sweat that are starting to slide down his forehead, "I can do better than that." she says, as she reaches out to swipe them into her quarters.

Walking into the room, the doors close behind them and they stumble their way to the bed. Reaching it, she helps him sit down on the end of it. Pulling down the blankets, she comes to stand in front of him and pulls him gently to his feet, taking a step back to steady not only herself but him as well and easing him down onto the bed, she doesn't miss the grimace as he leans back against the pillows.

"Shouldn't I be doing this?"

Unsteadily walking around to her side of the bed and climbing into it, covering herself with the blankets, lying on her side, she rests her head on her left hand, "yeah, well. I'm only sick, not recovering from being a shish kabob."

Wincing as he shifts closer to her, "speaking of which. What do you have that's better than Motrin?"

Rolling over, she gets out of the bed, sitting back down as she stands up too fast. Standing up again, she waits a couple of seconds before walking over to the desk. Pulling out the top draw, she pushes some buttons and the safe unlocks. Taking out a prescription bottle, she closes the draw and grips the chair to steady herself.

Seeing her do this, "you okay?"

"Just a little dizzy, I'm good." she answers, as she grabs a water bottle out of the fridge and comes back over to the bed.

Climbing back in and handing him the water bottle, she spills out two pills and as she hands them to him, "Hydrocodone, they should be strong enough to get you through the pain, although, we'll have to watch for the side effects."

Taking the pills and handing her the water bottle, "and the side effects are?"

Placing the pill and water bottles on the bedside table and turning over in the bed, pulling the blankets up to her chin, "nausea, dizziness, lightheadedness, drowsiness and vomiting."

Rolling his eyes, "I guess it's a good thing I'm staying in bed." he says, as he holds his arm out so that she can rest her head on his chest.

"Not everyone has problems with it, so I wouldn't be too worried." and sitting up quickly, "oh, but you should have some food in your stomach."

Pulling her back down to him, "Lexi, it's fine. Let's just go to sleep."

"Okay. But I've got a feeling that we're gonna be dealing with marines knocking down the door soon."

Laughing, it quickly turns into a groan, "don't...make...me..laugh."

She lifts her head up and turning his head to her, she kisses him. As she pulls away, "sorry." she says, and resting her head back on his chest, she rubs his arm, which is resting on his stomach.

He feels her rubbing his arm and listening to the comforting sound of her breathing matching his, he falls asleep, with a smile on his lips.

xxxx

 _John is in the back of the Jumper and the Iratus bug is strangling him. He tries to pull it off of his throat, but it only digs in deeper. The dream shifts and he's in the cave, trying to get the Iratus bug eggs._

The next thing he knows, he wakes up shouting Lexi's name, bolting upright, shaking like a leaf. He quickly looks around and it takes his brain a second to realize that he is in her quarters. He feels her sitting up next to him, resting her chin on his shoulder, rubbing his back. She sits there rubbing it for a couple of minutes and after a while he stops shaking.

Lying down and pulling him into her arms, "it's okay, go back to sleep. I'm not going anywhere."

"How long was I out?"

"An hour. Oh and Jen's on her way."

"What do you mean Keller's on the way? I didn't hear the intercom."

Laughing, which quickly turns into a yawn, "John...you're usually dead to the world when you're on pain meds."

Feeling her shivering, "how're you feeling?"

Looking up at him, "tired." and smiling, "but warmer now. Which nightmare?"

"Bugs." he says, and he turns his head as the chime goes off. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees her looking at the doors as well and looking back at her, "you want to open it or should I?"

Smiling at him, "I got it."

A couple of seconds later Keller is walking over to his side followed by Major Lorne and Marie.

"I see all hands were called."

"Yes sir."

"Thanks Lorne, but you don't need to hang around. I'm sure you have more important things to do then babysit us."

"Thanks, sir. Feel better." he says, and with a wave he leaves the room.

Keller headed straight for John, the minute she walked in the room and scanning him with the LSD, she looks over to Lexi, "Lexi, did you give him any meds?"

Nodding, "yes. Two 10 mg pills of Hydrocodone an hour ago."

Nodding, pleased with the readings she is getting, "okay, good." and looking at Marie, who is scanning Lexi with an LSD as well, "Marie, how's her temp?"

"101.9, doctor."

"Okay. Not good, but better than it was. Lexi, do you have Tylenol?"

"Yeah."

"Doc, do you want us back in the infirmary?"

"No. You can stay here. But Colonel, I want you to continue taking the Hydrocodone every six hours and radio me if you feel any of the side effects." and standing up, motioning for Marie to follow her, "Lexi, take the Tylenol as soon as you can and I'll have something sent up from the mess for you to eat."

"Jen, I've got some sandwiches and Jell-O in the fridge."

Stopping right at the doors, "that's fine. Oh, I almost forgot Colonel, the rest of your team have been worried about you. Do you want me to tell them they can stop by?"

Looking at Lexi, seeing her shake her head, "no. Could you tell them to stop by tomorrow?"

"Yeah sure." and turning to walk out of the room, "get some rest and I'll stop by tomorrow morning."

Watching her walk out of the quarters, "thanks doc." and as the doors close, he feels Lexi snuggling up to him and looking down at her, "sleep, eat or shower?"

Slowly crawling out of the bed, "well I could go for something to drink, you want anything?" she asks as she walks over to the fridge.

"I could go for a sandwich."

Kneeling down in front of the fridge and turning to look at him, "really?"

"Yeah and something to drink."

Turning back to look in the fridge, she grabs two bottles of Gatorade and a turkey sandwich. Standing up again, she sways a little. But gaining her balance, she turns and heads over to the desk.

Not having missed how unsteady she was as she stood up, he tries to get out of the bed, "you doin okay?"

Seeing him shifting towards the edge of the bed as she punches in the code to open the safe, "John, get back in bed. I'm fine."

Easing himself against the pillows, "you know, Keller is right. You really have been spending too much time with me."

Coming back over to the bed and climbing onto it, handing him a Gatorade, "why?"

"Because you're getting as good as I am at saying 'I'm fine.' Which isn't such a good thing." he says, as he opens the bottle and accepts the half of the sandwich she is handing him.

"Hmm." and popping the Tylenol in her mouth, she gulps down the Gatorade.

"Thirsty, much?"

Looking at the now empty bottle, chuckling, "I guess so." and not taking her eyes off him, she tosses the bottle in the trash.

Squirming a little under her gaze, "you know, I'm not a kid." he says around a bite of the sandwich.

Rolling her eyes, "I know." and slowly getting up from the bed, she shuffles her way over to the fridge to put her half of the sandwich back in it. Standing up, she sways a little again and swallowing to keep her stomach in check, she turns around and sees John watching her, "what?"

Finishing off his half of the sandwich, "Keller said to eat something."

Coming back over to the bed and climbing onto it again, she lies down, pulling the blankets up to her chin and looking up at him, "I know. But I'm not hungry."

Nodding in understanding, he takes a gulp of his Gatorade and placing it on the bedside table, he winces as his side pulls a little and carefully sliding down next to her on his right side, "you feel up to a shower?"

Raising her eyebrows, "yeah. You?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

Forty-five minutes later, they are back in the bed, showered and both dressed in sweats and t-shirts. They snuggle under the blankets, Lexi lying in his arms, and kissing her forehead, "so, sleep?"

Yawning, "yeah, that sounds good." she says, around the yawn and as she feels him yawn as well, she smiles to herself, knowing that he is going to be out cold soon. She lies in his arms for a few minutes and when she is certain that he is indeed out cold, she shifts out of his arms and propping herself up against the pillows she watches him sleep.

  


  
  
  
  



	19. Chapter 19

  


After watching him sleep for about five minutes, she gets out of the bed slowly and walks over to her desk, happy when the room doesn't spin. Sitting down she wakes up her tablet and navigating to the email, she runs through them, sending off a new schedule to Maddy, which has other doctors covering her shifts. Satisfied that Maddy will take care of things in her stead, she sends off an email to McKay, letting him know that he, Ronon and Teyla should not come by until after 12:00 the following day. Closing the tablet, she gets up and heads back over to the bed and climbs into it.

Before lying down, she reaches for John's wrist and looking down at her watch, she mentally does a count of his pulse, frowning at the fact that it is a little faster than normal. But pushing the thought aside, she lets go of his wrist and snuggling down under the blankets she falls asleep instantly.

xxxx

The next thing she is aware of is John shouting in his sleep. Opening her eyes and sitting up, she looks down at him to see him tossing and turning and covered in a sheen of sweat. Leaning over him and placing her hands on his shoulders, "John, open your eyes for me. Come on, it's just a dream."

Looking around the room, she notices that it is close to dawn, as rays of light are just starting to come in through the windows. Panic starts to stir in her stomach, as he still hasn't woken up and looking down at him again, she frowns as the pain that is etched across his forehead frightens her, "John, wake up and that's an order."

His eyes shoot open, but they're not focused and snapping her fingers in front of his face, the panic dissipates as he finally focuses on her. Letting go of his shoulders and seeing him rubbing his face, "which one?"

"Liz'beth." he groggily gets out, as he reaches for her and pulling her down to him, she feels him shaking.

"I think it's time for more meds." she says and she tries to sit up, but he won't let go of her and shifting her head on his chest, so that her chin is resting on it, "what is it?" and seeing that his head is turned away from her and that he is still shaking, "John?"

Not looking at her, but sighing, "it's nothing. Just, bad dreams."

Taking his chin in her hand and turning his head towards her, "right and I'm a Wraith queen."

Glaring at her, "Lexi."

Glaring back, "John."

Letting go of her, he watches as she climbs out of the bed and as she reaches the fridge, "you're not as hot."

Coming back over to the bed, holding two water bottles, she climbs back in and as she crosses her legs in front of her and reaches for the Hydrocodone, "yeah, I guess my temp broke sometime last night." she says, as she spills out two pills and hands them to him with a bottle of water.

Watching him take the pills, "drink the whole bottle." she says and seeing him nod, she reaches for the Tylenol and spilling out two pills she takes them.

Seeing her swallow the pills, "then why are you taking more Tylenol." he asks around sips of water.

Placing the pill bottles on the bedside table, "because I don't want my temp to spike." and seeing him placing his almost empty water bottle on his bedside table, "so, you feel like getting more sleep? Cause I could sure use some more."

Holding out his arm, he smiles as she snuggles down next to him and pulls the blankets up over them. As usual she waits until she feels his breathing even out and with one more look at him, she lets her head hit the pillow and falls asleep, a smile on her lips.

A week later, Keller allows Lexi back on duty. But to John's disappointment, she only allows him back on desk duty. He complains, but she stands firm in her decision and Lexi is happy that she does so. All in all, he is grounded for a total of six weeks. His ribs fully healed, he and his team head back out through the Gate, exploring the galaxy and things get back to normal. Or what can be considered normal on Atlantis. Of course nothing is ever easy and little do they know what is coming around the bend.

  



	20. Chapter 20

  


Lexi is sitting in her office going over the treatment roster for the upcoming week. It's been six weeks and four days since John was put back on active duty and she hasn't seen him at all in the past ninety-six hours. But, that's not surprising, given the situation that started when Ronon was captured.

Placing her stylus down on the desk and pushing back from it, she replays the conversations she had earlier that day with Teyla, McKay and Keller, over in her head. Teyla came to her to use her as a sounding board, still having a difficult time deciding whether or not to rejoin John's team. McKay came to see her next, insisting that he just needed to vent, but listening to him, she realized that he really needed someone to tell him that Ronon was going to be all right. Keller had been the last one to show up, needing to be reassured that the way she treated Ronon was the right way to treat him. She had left not ten minutes ago, but not before requesting that Lexi come by to talk with Ronon in the morning.

The sound of squeaking boots walking into her office brings her back to the present. Seeing who the owner of the squeaking boots is brings a smile to her lips, as that person literally melts into the chair opposite of her.

Grimacing, "hey Lexi."

Smile fading, "Evan, what's wrong?"

Sighing and leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, he rubs his hands over his face and meeting her gaze, "it's nothing. Just been a crazy couple of days."

"You can say that again. But that doesn't answer my question. Something is bothering you, what is it?"

Standing up and starting to pace back in forth in front of her, "I just don't know how after everything that I've seen. How this would get to me as much as it is."

Getting up from her chair and coming around the desk, she plants herself in his path, causing him to stop short and glare at her, "how what's getting to you?"

Frowning and walking over to sit on the couch, "Tyre."

"Ah." she says, as she comes to sit in the easy chair to his right, "you mean how he gave himself up to save you, especially after capturing Ronon?"

Locking eyes with her, "yeah. How could he just give himself up like that? I mean, I know that if it came down to it, I'd give up my life to save everyone here, but..."

Leaning forward, "but he did do it to save everyone here, most importantly, Ronon and in doing so, he figured he'd gain back the honor he felt he'd lost."

Staring at her, "yeah, I guess. It's just such a waste and it's all because of the Wraith."

Nodding, "you're right. It is the Wraith's fault. They were the ones that turned Tyre and forced him to do all of the horrible things he did. But, by saving all of you, he gave us Ronon back and a better chance of fighting them."

Looking away from her for a second and then back, a small smile crossing his lips, "you're right. But it still sucks. I hope Ronon's okay with it."

Returning his smile, "he will be, I'll make sure of it. Even if I have to keep him tied down, until he talks to me."

Smirking, "I'd like to see that. How is it that you're not frightened by him?"

Chuckling, "he reminds me of a tamed lion." and scowling at him, "and if you ever tell him that I said that, I'll kick you're butt."

Putting his hands up in mock surrender, "I promise not to say a word." and seeing her glaring at him, "I like my butt just the way it is."

"Good." she says with a smile, but it quickly turns into a frown, "hey, have you seen John, lately?"

Glancing away from her, "yeah, I saw him about twenty minutes ago. He was on his way into the infirmary to see Ronon. He was carrying Tyre's sword."

"Oh boy." and sitting back in the chair, noticing that he still won't look at her, "what else is going on?"

"Um..."

"Evan, look at me and tell me what's going on."

Sighing, he finally turns his head towards her, "I ah, I think you might want to go find him."

"Why?"

"Just trust me on this. I've a feeling that he won't come to you." and getting up, "anyway, thanks."

Standing up and walking with him to the door, "for what?"

Stopping at the doors and pulling her into a hug, "for being here and listening."

Pulling away and smiling, "always and thanks for giving me the heads up about John."

"No problem. I'll see you later." he says, squeezing her hand and heading for the transporter.

She watches him get in and before the doors close, he waves at her with a grin and she waves back.

xxxx

She heads back into her office, tapping her radio as she reaches the desk, "Dr. Carter to Colonel Sheppard."

Sitting down in front of her tablet, she brings up her calendar for the following day and rearranges it so that she can spend time with Ronon. Taking a look at the clock on her desk, she realizes that it's been a couple of minutes since she hailed John and he hasn't responded.

Tapping her radio again, "Dr. Carter to Colonel Sheppard, John, please come in." and not waiting for a response this time as the knots in her stomach twist even tighter, she gets up and heads out of her office for the transporter. She gets in and heads up to the Control room. A few seconds later, she is walking into it and heading over to Amelia's station.

"Lexi, what brings you by?" Amelia asks, smiling.

"Can you locate Colonel Sheppard for me? He's not answering his com."

"Sure." she says, as she hits some keys on her laptop and the screen to her left comes to life with a schematic of the city, a white dot flashing on the East pier and John's id number next to it.

Smiling at her, "thanks." and she turns to head for the transporter.

"Do you want me to have a security detail or med team meet you there?" Amelia calls after her.

Continuing to walk and looking over her shoulder, "no. He's probably just getting some air. I'll radio if I need any assistance."

"Okay. I'll see you later."

Nodding her head, she gets into the transporter and hits the screen for the East pier. A few seconds later, she exits the transporter and as the doors to the pier open, she zips up her jacket against the cold air.

Halfway down the pier, she spots John sitting on the edge, his feet dangling over it, hands spread behind him.

As she reaches him, "John?"

Turning to look at her, he doesn't say anything but as he turns his eyes towards the sky again, she catches the emotions playing in them. Inwardly she sighs, knowing that he's gonna blame himself for what Ronon just went through and sitting down next to him, on his right side, close enough that their bodies are touching, she doesn't say anything either, she just sits there with him.

Ten minutes later, she feels him sit forward, sliding his right arm through hers, reaching for her hand, fingers entwining. Turning her head their eyes lock, "you wanna talk about it?"

Sighing and looking back out at the moons, "I should've been there."

"Where?"

"Back on the planet with Ronon and Teyla."

Not taking her eyes off of him, "John, if you'd been there, what do you think you could've done?"

"I could've helped him fight off Tyre and then maybe he'd be alive and Ronon wouldn't have had to go through the withdrawal."

"How would you have helped him fight off Tyre?"

"I don't know!" he shouts.

"John." she says keeping her tone as even as she can, "it was an ambush and there was nothing you or anyone else could've done to stop him from taking Ronon." and wrapping her arm around his shoulders, feeling him shaking with anger, "the important thing is that we got him back."

Looking at her, "did we?" and running his hand through his hair, "I mean, I know that physically we have. But Lexi, you didn't see the agony he went through, coming down from the enzyme and now on top of that, Tyre's dead."

Looking away from him, as the memories of seeing Ronon in withdrawal come back sharp in her minds eye, "I did see the agony he went through."

Shocked, "when?"

"The few times you, Teyla and Rodney weren't there. Jen called me in to sit with him and we did get him back."

"How can you be so sure?" he asks, the pain back in his eyes.

Squeezing his shoulders, "because he's strong and he's got all of us. Now if you don't mind, can we head inside? I'm freezing and I'm not the one sitting out here without a jacket." and letting go of his shoulders and standing up she holds out her hand.

Laughing, he reaches out and takes it and as she pulls him up, "I'm gonna spend tomorrow with him and see if he wants to talk."

Wrapping his arm around her shoulders and walking side by side with her for the entrance back into the city, "you might be sitting in silence for a while."

"I know. But Jen won't clear him for active duty until he's seen me." and winking at him, "of course, I won't tell her if he doesn't talk to me about it. He's just like you."

Reaching the entrance and walking in, he quirks an eyebrow at her, "how's he just like me?"

"Well, you guys don't like to talk about how you're feeling until you're ready, if at all."

Shooting her an evil grin, "doesn't that just annoy the hell outta you?"

Stepping out of the transporter into the crew quarters section, rolling her eyes, "yes. But, after a while, you get used to it."

As they walk into her quarters, the doors closing behind them, he pulls her into him leaning down to kiss her. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she kisses him back and pulls him towards the bed. Lying down on it, pulling him on top of her, they pull off their clothing, tracing each other's curves with their lips. He catches her in the soft spot between the neck and the shoulder and she lets out a soft moan. He moves up to her lips and she digs her fingers into his back, as he pulls her off of the bed. She flips him over and straddling him, she leans down and kisses her way up to his lips, this time causing him to let out a moan of content. Climbing off of him, she lies down next to him and traces her fingers over his stomach. Looking at him she catches the smile on his lips, his eyes closed.

She closes her eyes as well and just before she starts to drift off to sleep, she feels him roll over and pull her close to him, her back to his stomach, "Lexi, did we really get him back?"

Opening her eyes in shock at the uncertainty and fear in his voice, she turns over and sees his eyes open, the fear in them matching the emotion in his voice. Running her fingers through his hair, leaning in, she kisses him and pulling away, "yes John. We did get him back." and pulling him into her arms, "I'll make sure of it. Now go to sleep."

She holds him and feeling his breathing even out, she frowns to herself as she has a feeling that he's in for a rough night. A few minutes later, she too falls asleep.

 

 

  


  
  
  
  



	21. Chapter 21

  


Bolting up right in the bed his heart hammering in his chest, John darts his eyes around the room trying to remember where he is. Slowly but surely it dawns on him that he is in Lexi's quarters and as his eyes come to rest on Lexi, he feels his heart rate settle down. Running his hands over his face, he looks over at the clock on the bedside table and he sighs to himself as he sees that it's 0154.

Lying back down, he replays the previous two days in his head, a little voice telling him that Lexi is right about how he couldn't have done anything to stop Tyre from taking Ronon, even if he had been with them on the planet. Inwardly sighing,  _it still sucks though_.

"Do I have to knock you out, to get you to sleep?" startles him out of his thoughts and he sees Lexi turning over to look at him.

Turning over onto his right side to look her in the eyes, "sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up."

Snuggling up to him, "it's okay. Nightmare?"

"No, just have some things on my mind." he tells her, hoping that she won't see right through the lie.

Glaring at him, "John."

"Lexi, it's fine. Go back to sleep." he says, shutting his eyes and forcing his mind to stop reeling. He hears her sigh and a few seconds later her breathing evens out, signaling that she is asleep.

Opening his eyes, he runs them over her,  _she knows you too well_ , and smiling to himself,  _yeah and when did I let that happen?_  he asks himself and closing his eyes again, taking a deep breath to calm his nerves, "well, I guess Carter was right." he says under his breath, as he falls into a uneasy sleep.

xxxx

The next thing he knows, he is rolling over in bed to find that Lexi is not next to him. His eyes focus on the alarm clock on the bedside table and it takes him a couple of seconds to comprehend that the numbers that are blinking back at him are wrong. Sitting up fast, he looks around the room and sees that the sun is pouring into it.

Reaching for his radio and slipping it into his ear, activating it, "Colonel Sheppard to Dr. Carter."

"John, you're up."

"Lexi, it's 1610, I had stuff to do today."

"Ah, no you didn't. I grounded you for the day, you needed to sleep."

Rubbing his hands over his face and through his hair, "Lexi!"

"No John. You're cleared for duty tomorrow, as is Ronon and if you're that upset about it, come meet me in the gym right now."

Recognizing that she is baiting him, "I'll be there in twenty." he says, as he throws the blankets off of himself and walking over to the dresser, he throws on a pair of sweats, a t-shirt, and socks. He walks into the bathroom, putting on deodorant, relieving himself and after washing his hands and brushing his teeth, he walks over to the bed and slips on his sneakers.

xxxx

Ten minutes later, he walks into the gym to see Lexi on the bike. Heading over to her, "okay, so we doing this or not?"

She gets off the bike and after each getting a set of bantos sticks, they head over to the mat. Half an hour later, sweating and cursing under his breath, she lunges at him and even though he knows he shouldn't, he goes left. The next thing he knows, she's taking him down to the mat with a thud, which knocks the wind out of him.

"You know better then to go left, John." she says, as she holds out a hand, to help him up.

Having gotten his breathing under control, he reaches out for her hand. But instead of letting her help him up, he kicks out and brings her down onto the mat as well, pinning her there.

"I've still got a few moves that you don't know, yet." he says, a smile crossing his lips.

"Oh, I don't know about that one John."

They turn their heads to see Teyla striding into the gym with Torren in her arms.

Lexi takes advantage of the fact that he's loosened his grip on her arms and within seconds, she's pinning him and he looks up at her stunned.

"See John, she's got your number." Teyla says, smirking.

Lexi stands up and holds out her hand again. He takes it and as he lets her pull him to his feet, "so Teyla, how's the kid?" he asks, stretching out his back.

"He still insists on sleeping only when he is moving." she says, handing him over to Lexi and stretching out her arms.

Watching as Lexi walks around the gym, rocking Torren back and forth, humming to him, he startles a little as he feels Teyla's hand on his arm.

Looking down at her, he sees her eyes on Lexi and Torren, a smile on her face, "what?" he asks softly, so only she will hear it.

Looking up at him, "nothing. Do not worry about it."

"John, do you want to hold him?"

His eyes dart to Lexi, who is now standing in front of him and hesitating a second, "sure...hand him over."

She gently lays Torren in his arms and looking down at him, he smiles as Torren snuggles closer to his chest. Looking up, he catches the look that Lexi and Teyla are sharing and curiosity peaked, "what?" he asks again.

Smiling at him, "you look great with a kid." Lexi says.

Looking down at Torren again, "ah Teyla, you want to take him?"

"Sure." and as she takes him out of his arms, "I wouldn't worry John. I don't think that Lexi has any plans to make you a father any time soon. See you two later." she says, as she walks out of the gym, leaving him starring after her in shock.

Coming back to his senses, "Lexi?"

Meeting his eyes, "she's right John."

"She's right about what?"

"I don't have any plans for making you a father any time soon."

Eyebrows shooting up in surprise, "you don't want to have kids?"

Wrapping her arms around his neck, "oh, I do want to have kids, someday. But not right now."

Wrapping his arms around her waist, the tension seeping out of him, "with me?"

"Yes with you. I love you and sure, I've thought about it. But right now, with everything we face on a daily basis, I don't think either of us are ready to take that step."

Leaning down, he kisses her and pulling away he gestures to the door, "dinner?"

"Yeah, that sounds good. But, do you forgive me?"

Walking next to her and looking at her out of the corner of his eye, "yeah. But, don't do it again."

Stepping into the transporter and hitting the screen for the mess hall, "I can't promise that."

Stepping out of the transporter, "yes you can. It's easy. All you have to do is leave the grounding to Keller. I've gone out on missions before with little to no sleep and it's not that big of a deal."

Placing a hand on his arm to stop him from walking, "John, you didn't have a mission off world today and Ronon wasn't cleared for duty yet." and flicking her eyes around the hall, she keeps her voice low, "you needed the sleep and if I take advantage of my ability to ground you, well then, so be it."

Sighing, "Lexi, it's just that I."

"You don't like it when other people fuss over you. Yeah, I know. We've had this conversation before." she says, as she starts walking again and as he falls into step beside her, "but, I'm gonna keep having it with you, until you except the fact that we do it because we care about you."

Entering the mess and heading for the food line, "fine." and deciding to change the subject, "how's Ronon?"

Grabbing a food tray and a bottle of water, she looks at him, concern written across her face, "he's okay. He feels really bad about hitting you, though."

Also grabbing a tray and a bottle of water, "I don't blame him for it. I know he wasn't himself."

Choosing what she wants for dinner and stepping off of the food line, waiting for him, "he knows that you don't. But from what he told me, that's not what bothers him the most."

Choosing his meal and grabbing a cookie, "is it Tyre's death?"

Walking side by side to a table, "no, it's not that."

"Then what?"

"The thing that is most difficult for him to handle is that he feels that he wasn't strong enough to withstand what the Wraith did to him."

Sitting down, he nearly drops his tray in shock, "he what? There's no way that anyone could've resisted that. I'm gonna talk to him."

"No John!" she shouts at him and lowering her voice, as everyone in the mess is now staring at them, "that's not a good idea. He'll work through this on his own. Just don't push him."

Chewing his food slowly, allowing himself time to think about it and swallowing, "okay. I'll wait. I'm not happy about it, but I get it."

She pats his arm and smiling, "good. So, you feel like a movie tonight?"

Smiling around chewing, "yeah. What movie did you have in mind?"

"Oh, I don't know. I could go for an action flick or romantic comedy."

" _The Princess Bride_?"

"Ooh yeah, that would be great. Oh, wait." and reaching her hand up to activate her radio, "Dr. Carter to Major Lorne."

"Go ahead Lexibeth."

Sighing, rolling her eyes and smiling at John, "do you still have my copy of  _The Princess Bride_?"

"Yeah."

"Great. Can I come by and get it?"

"Sure."

Looking at her watch, "fifteen minutes?"

"Ah, can you come by a little later? Jamie and I are in the middle of something."

"Okay then. How about thirty minutes?"

"That'll work."

"Great, see you in thirty. Carter out."

xxxx

Twenty-five minutes later heading out of the mess for the transporter, "Lexi, why does Lorne have the movie?"

"Oh, because I lent it to him so he could watch it with Jamie. I just never bothered to get it back."

Getting into the transporter, "how long have they been seeing each other?" he asks, hitting the screen for the crew quarters.

Stepping out into the corridor and taking a right turn heading for Lorne's quarters, "um, a little longer than us."

"Really?" he asks, as they reach Lorne's quarters and he swipes the door control.

She nods at him and the doors open, Lorne of course standing to attention as soon as he sees John.

"At ease Major. Seriously, when we're off duty, you don't have to be so by the book."

"Okay sir." he says with a smile and relaxing, "here you go Lexi and thanks. Jamie really enjoyed it."

"No problem, Evan." she says, smiling.

Seeing the smile, "what?" John asks, eyebrows raised.

"Oh nothing. It's just..." she looks between them, "well, I guess I'm just happy to have two of my favorite men in one place."

"O..kay?" Lorne says, completely confused.

Seeing the looks of confusion on their faces, "really are you guys that dense? I mean I know that rank is important but, Evan he's right, off duty, is off duty." and turning to face John and pointing a finger at him, "and if you want to know how long they've been together, just ask him. I know that guys talk about these things, maybe not the same way as girls do, but you do talk about it." and turning on her heel, she leaves the two of them staring after her as she walks off towards her quarters.

After a few seconds, "well, sir. Have a good night."

"Yeah, you too. See you tomorrow at the briefing." and turning John runs to catch up with Lexi and as he does so, "hey Lexi, wait up."

Turning in the doorway and smiling, "what?"

"Nothing." he says, as she pulls him into the room.

xxxx

Ten minutes later, having changed into sweats and t-shirts, they're lying in the bed, propped up on pillows, watching the movie.

It's coming up to the point in the film where Buttercup and Wesley are walking through the Fire swamp and Lexi's leaning forward towards the screen, legs crossed under the blankets, her hands gripping her knees underneath them. However, the minute that the first burst of flames spurts up from the ground, she bolts back and buries her head on John's shoulder. He looks down to see her peeking at the screen and he shifts his right arm around her shoulders, laughing as she buries her head in his chest this time.

Looking up at him, "what's so funny?"

Not able to keep the smile from his lips, "you. How many times have you seen this movie?"

"I've lost count. Why?"

Kissing her on the forehead and looking down at her again, "because, you react as if you've never seen it before and I love that."

Smiling and refocusing on the film, "yeah, I guess I do get caught up in it. You should see me watch  _The Sound of Music_."

Groaning and rolling his eyes, "oh, please don't tell me..."

Laughing and looking up at him again, "yep, I sing the entire soundtrack."

"Wow. You're really a geek, you know that?"

"Yeah, but since when is that a bad thing? Sometimes, geeks get the prince." she says as she leans up to kiss him.

As she pulls away, he smiles at her, a little stunned by the intensity of the kiss and by what she just said.

"Ah...should we ah, get back to watching the movie?" he asks, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck.

Smiling and snuggling down next to him, she refocuses on the screen. He does the same, not really focusing on the movie, though.

The movie ends and looking down at her, he sees that she's asleep. She had shifted out of his arms at one point to go grab a bottle of water from the fridge. He eases his way out of the bed and moving the laptop to the desk, taking a pit stop in the bathroom, he climbs back into the bed and getting under the blankets, he mentally shuts the lights off, completely.

He roles over onto his left side and a couple of seconds later, he feels her shift in the bed and her arm drapes over his waist. Twenty minutes later, after running through everything that they had talked about that day,  _and sometimes the prince gets the geek_ , he falls asleep with a smile on his lips.

 

 

  


  
  
  
  



	22. Chapter 22

  


Standing in the hall, having chased down Koracen and RepliElizabeth, trying to wrap his head around everything that Koracen and RepliElizabeth are telling him, John doesn't lower his 9 mil or the assault rifle, as  _this can't be Elizabeth,_ runs through his head. Sweeping his eyes over RepliElizabeth, he catches the look on her face and the emotions swirling in his gut get the better of him, "what did you think we were gonna do? Just give you a bunch of Replicator bodies and send you on your way."

"I truly believed that we were no threat to you."

Anger winning out, "you may still think that you're Elizabeth, but you're not."

He regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth, as the sadness in her eyes makes guilt temper his anger. She breaks eye contact with him and the lights flicker on. The next thing he knows, Koracen is charging at him, tearing the rifle out of his hand and hurling him against the wall, hard. He slides down it and as he looks up, he sees RepliElizabeth force Koracen up against it, sticking her hand in his forehead.

He watches as Koracen disintegrates and looks at her, confusion written across his face.

Looking down at him, concern flooding her face, "John, I'm sorry, I had no choice." and as she reaches down, extending a hand, "are you all right?"

Hesitantly, he takes her hand and as she pulls him up, the room spins a little, causing him to lean over with his hands on his thighs, taking a deep breath to settle his stomach, "I'm fine," he grits out, as he slowly stands up right, letting out a breath as the room stays put.

From the corner of his eye, he sees Lorne and his team running around the corner, guns raised, "Colonel, everything all right?" he asks, as they come to a stop, guns trained on RepliElizabeth.

Nodding, but grimacing as it sends the room spinning and breathing through the nausea, "yeah, Lorne. Everything's under control." and as he re-holsters his 9 mil and accepts his rifle back from Rivers, "take her to Woolsey's office and radio McKay."

"Yes sir." Lorne says, and as he turns, "won't you be joining us?"

"I'll be there, I just have to stop and get something." and taking a step in the other direction, thankful that he's still upright, he slowly walks up the stairs for the nearest transporter. Stepping in and leaning against the wall, with what feels like the Marine Corps marching band playing in his head, he hits the screen for the infirmary section.

xxxx

"Keller's gonna kill me." he says to himself as he walks into the infirmary, wincing as the bright lights of the room make his head throb even more and his stomach turn. Turning left, he heads over to Keller's office and as he reaches the door, she lifts her head up from her tablet, a smile starting to form on her lips, but quickly turning into concern.

"Colonel, are you okay?" she asks him, quickly getting up and walking around her desk to help him sit down in one of the chairs.

Grimacing, "yeah, I'm fine. Just a headache."

Kneeling down in front of him, taking out her pen light from her pocket, not missing the grimace he gives her, as he sees it, "now Colonel."

Scrunching his eyes shut, "ouch! Come on, doc. Just give me some Tylenol and I'll be on my way."

"What happened?"

Cracking his eyes open, relieved that the light is gone, he focuses on her, still kneeling in front of him, "look, I've got to be in Woolsey's office right now, so either give me the Tylenol or I'll just leave."

Concern changing to anger, "Colonel, either you tell me what happened, or I relieve you of duty right now."

Sighing, "I got thrown into a wall. Now can I have that Tylenol?" and getting his anger in check, "please."

"Fine." she says as she stands up and heads out of the office. He gets up and follows her, the room swaying a little, but not so much as to keep him from walking.

Before he even reaches the door, she's standing in front of him shoving two Tylenol into his hand and a cup of water, "take these now and even though I shouldn't, I'll let you go. But I want you back in here as soon as you've dealt with whatever's going on."

Taking the pills, he tosses the cup in the garbage and on his way to the exit, "I promise, doc. As soon as I can, I'll come back."

xxxx

Fifteen minutes later, he's walking into Woolsey's office, noticing that McKay is standing off to the side and RepliElizabeth is standing in front of the desk, facing Woolsey. He walks around a chair and perches himself on the edge of the desk, staring at RepliElizabeth and tuning into the conversation Woolsey is having with her.

"If you'd like to resume your work, I've decided to allow it."

"We would reengage the force field of course." McKay says.

"Beef up security." John adds on.

"It's too risky. I thought that bringing the others here would be safe. I was wrong. I can no longer guarantee there won't be any more trouble from them, or even myself."

"All right, um...what do you wanna do?" John asks.

Looking at McKay, "I remember after you reactivated the nanite cells inside me, I said this was a bad idea. So much has gone wrong since then, but I think I know how I can finally set things right."

"How would you do that?" Woolsey asks.

"Well, I will convince the others that the best way for us to continue our work will be on another planet." she says and turning to face McKay, "Rodney, if you don't mind, I need you to reprogram the DHD to send us to a Gate that we won't be able to dial out from."

Staring back at her in shock, "but, the only way that can happen is..." he says, trailing off and sticking his hands in his pockets, he looks at John, despair written across his face.

"Yes Rodney."

"What are you suggesting?"

Turning her head to look at him, a sad smile crossing her face, "the Gate will be a space Gate, John."

Getting up from behind his desk and coming to stand next to John, "but if you do this, you will..."

"Yes Richard, we will die." and looking at John, "it's the best way for me to protect Atlantis."

Looking from her to Woolsey, "Mr. Woolsey, what do you think?"

"I believe that this is the best option, Colonel." and looking at McKay, "Dr. McKay, will you go see to the modifications?"

McKay nods and heads out to the Control room. Woolsey nods at John and also heads out of the office, tapping his radio. Seeing this, John can only assume that he's calling for the rest of the Replicators to be brought to the Control room.

Watching Woolsey's retreating back, he realizes that they're alone in the office, "about what I said, earlier." he says, rubbing the back of his head with his left hand, as it's starting to pound again.

"Look at me John." she says softly and waiting until he does so, "this is not your fault. Don't blame yourself for this. Just do me a favor."

"What?"

She takes a step closer, the marine outside stepping into the office and he waves him off. She turns around to see what he is waving at and as she turns back to face him, "take care of everyone here and of yourself."

Grimacing at her, "I'll try."

Smiling at him, "good."

Gesturing to the Control room, having seen Ronon and Teyla with the marine escort bringing the other Replicators up the stairs, "shall we?"

"Yes." she says and turns to walk out.

Standing up, the room spins a little and as he leans against the edge of the desk for a second to steady himself,  _focus John. This isn't over yet,_  and gaining his balance, he heads out into the Control room.

As he meets up with everyone, the room starts graying out around him a little and catching Teyla eyeing him with concern, he offers her the best smile he can muster. Inwardly he sighs, as she returns the smile with a nod. Hearing the Gate dialing, he follows everyone down the stairs to the embarkation area, not really aware of what is going on around him, as his head is now pounding with every beat of his heart.

He is aware enough though to be able to step forward next to Woolsey and to lock eyes with RepliElizabeth, but not able to stand the pain at losing her again, as well as the nausea that is building in his stomach, he breaks the eye contact. Vaguely aware of the rest of the Replicators walking through the Gate, it shutting down and a conversation taking place between Woolsey and McKay, he completely zones out.

After what seems like forever, but in fact is only about a couple of minutes after the Gate shuts down, he looks around to see that he is the only one standing in front of the Gate. As he focuses on it again, it hits him that not only does he probably have a concussion, but that he is also in shock.

Slowly, he is able to move, focusing on just putting one foot in front of the other. He reaches the armory, storing his assault rifle and TAC vest and heads out in the direction of Lexi's quarters. Getting lost in his own thoughts, he misses the looks being thrown his way as he walks through the halls. Finally reaching her quarters, he swipes his way into them and hearing the doors close behind him, he lets out a sigh, as he slides down them. Curling his legs into him, resting his forehead on his knees, the last thing that registers is the sound of his own harsh breathing, as he tries his hardest not to let the emotions come out.

xxxx

Teyla had not missed how bad John had looked in the Control room and as she reached the end of the ramp leading out of the Gate room, she looked back to see him still standing in front of the Gate, eyes glued to it.

Worry gripping her stomach that he is not handling the situation easily, she turns to go back to see how he is. But as she reaches the top of the ramp, she sees him walking away. Instead of following him, however, she taps her radio, "Teyla to Dr. Carter."

"Go ahead Teyla. What can I do for you?"

"Lexi, are you aware of the situation we just had with the Replicators?"

"Yes. One of them claimed to be Elizabeth, right?"

"That is right. Well, she, that is to say the one that claimed to be Elizabeth, just sacrificed herself to save Atlantis and I'm worried about..."

"You're worried about John."

"Yes. I believe that he has gone to his quarters. You may want to go check on him. I would but, I must go check on Torren."

"I'll go check on him now. Thanks Teyla, Carter out."

The radio link closes and satisfied that John will be in good hands, Teyla heads for her quarters.

  


  
  
  
  



	23. Chapter 23

  


As soon as she had closed the radio link, Lexi stood up from her desk. Leaning over to check the calendar on her tablet and seeing that the rest of the evening is free of appointments, she picks it up and heads out the door for the transporter.

Getting into the transporter, she runs over her conversation with Teyla in her head. She hadn't lied when she said that she knew what was going on with the Replicators as McKay had radioed her a couple of minutes before, explaining the whole situation. She had asked if he wanted to talk about it, but he had said he needed to get down to his lab, as he had some work to do.

Smiling to herself at the memory, she gets out of the transporter in the crew quarters section and walks down the corridor to John's quarters. She stops in front of his doors and swiping her right hand over the door controls, she waits a few seconds.

When he doesn't answer, she swipes it again, knocking on the door, "John are you in there? It's Lexi."

Another couple of seconds later, it finally dawns on her that he probably went to her quarters instead. Shaking her head, she turns on her heel and heads in that direction.

Reaching them, she tries to swipe herself into them, but as the doors beep to alert her to the fact that they are locked, she realizes that Atlantis must have sensed John's emotions and locked him in. She removes the panel over the door control, taking out the middle crystal. Hooking her tablet into it, she brings up the medical override program. Tapping the enter button, the doors swish open and she's shocked as he falls backwards out of them.

Worry flooding through her, she places her tablet on the floor and crouching down on his right side, "John, can you hear me?"

When he doesn't answer, she reaches for his right wrist, frowning as he flinches at her touch. Feeling his pulse racing under her fingers, she doesn't miss the tremors racking his body and taking a closer look at him, she can see the sweat that is plastering his hair to his forehead.

Seeing that his eyes are now looking in her direction, "John?" she says again and lifting her head up, she looks around and thanks the heavens that no one else is in the corridor right now.

A moan and, "Lexi?" brings her attention back to him again and she sees that his eyes are finally focused on her, "yes, John. Why don't we get you off the floor? Can you stand?"

Closing his eyes, "I…don't…know."

She places her left hand under his shoulders and helps him sit up, taking in a sharp breath as his right hand grips her right arm so tight, it feels like he's holding on for dear life.

"Nauseous?" she asks, seeing the color draining from his face.

Opening his eyes and starting to nod his head, but stopping mid nod and wincing, "yeah. Help…me...up."

Wrapping her left arm around his back, "I'm gonna need my right arm back."

Turning his head to look at her, "huh?"

"Never mind." she says, a small annoyed smile flitting across her lips.

She pulls him to his feet, taking a step back with her left foot, as he starts to tip over, leaning into her, his grip tightening around her arm, "whoa. You doin okay?"

"Room...spinning." he answers, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

Tightening her grip on him, "okay, we'll take it slow and easy." she says, and slowly they head for the bed.

Sitting down on the bed, he starts to list to his left, letting go of her arm finally, "hang on John."

Barely able to keep his eyes open, "I'm...tired," he mumbles.

"I know, but I want to get you under the blankets." she says, as she lets go of him, so that she can stand up. He starts to list to his left again, "oh, no you don't, not yet." she says, putting her hands on his shoulders.

Cracking his eyes open, "but...I." he mumbles again.

"You'll wait." she says, understanding in her voice, as she moves a hand to his left shoulder to keep him sitting, while with her right, she leans down to pull down the blankets.

The blankets pulled down, she shifts herself in front of him and unbuttoning his over shirt, she gently takes it off, letting him pitch forward into her. Throwing it onto the floor, she takes him by the arms and pulls him to his feet, he sways a little and hearing a low moan escape him, "I know." she says softly, as she eases him down onto the bed.

He falls over onto it on his left side and she gently turns him on his back. Moving down to his boots to untie them, she smiles as she sees his breathing even out. Undoing the laces, she pulls the boots and socks off and places them under the bed. She reaches for his belt and slides it off, unhooking the gun holster as well. Placing it on the bedside table, she easily slides his pants off.

Covering him with the blankets, up to his waist, she reaches for his wrist and checking his pulse again, which is still racing, she leans down and kisses him on the forehead and as she straightens up, she runs her fingers through his hair, "I'll be here when you wake up."

Walking over to the dresser, she pulls open one of the draws and pulls out one of his hoodies. Pulling it over her head, she walks over to the door and swiping it open she bends down to pick up her tablet, unhooking it from the door panel. Replacing the crystal and cover, she heads back into the quarters.

Stretching out on the couch and switching on the tablet to her research, she does some work. Every now and then shifting her eyes to check on John, who has curled onto his right side, obviously dreaming because she can see his eyes moving like crazy under his lids and his t-shirt is ringed with sweat. Frowning to herself, she goes back to her research.

xxxx

A couple of hours later, having fallen asleep herself, she's startled awake by John bolting up right in the bed, shaking and shouting Elizabeth's name.

She's sitting next to him, on the bed in seconds, her hands resting on his shoulders, "John, it's okay." and feeling him shaking, she pulls him into her and feels him burying his head in her shoulder. Rubbing circles on his back, trying to calm him down, "shh...everything's gonna be okay."

"No…it's...not! I...should...have...saved...her." he shouts, through sobs.

Astonished that he's crying, she doesn't know what else to say, which is a surprise as she's usually able to come up with something. But not being able to, she just holds him, rubbing circles on his back, feeling the tremors racking through him, as he tries to hold back the sobs.

Ten minutes later, just as she thinks he's calmed down, the door chime goes off and his grip tightens on the back of her shirt, his breath catching in his chest, as if he's afraid of something, "John, it's okay. I won't let anything hurt you." she tells him, trying to pull away so that she can answer the door.

Not letting go of her and starting to shake again, "don't answer it." he whispers in her ear and the raw fear that is behind it, frightens her.

Rubbing his back again, "I have to, otherwise whoever it is, will break down the door." she says, and she is only becoming more sure of this, as there is a constant knocking on the door, that is getting louder and louder by the second.

"No." he says and if possible he's shaking even more and then out of nowhere, he lets go of her and bolts out of the bed for the bathroom.

Frowning at the sounds coming from it, she takes this chance to head for the door. As she reaches them, they swish open to reveal McKay and Keller. McKay is holding his tablet, which is attached to the door panel and Keller is holding a med bag. They look from each other, to Lexi, concern written across their faces.

"Lexi, why didn't you open the door?"

"Can we come in?"

Not moving from the doorway, "I didn't open it, because John asked me not to Rodney and no Jen you may not come in. But you can leave me the med bag."

Glaring at her, "he's injured Lexi. Did he tell you that he was thrown against a wall and probably has a concussion?" Keller asks.

Realization dawning on her, "so it's not just the shock." she mumbles under her breath.

"What did you say?" Keller asks.

Refocusing on her, "oh, what...it's nothing."

"Lexi step aside and let me in now."

Putting out her arms to stop them, "no. Look, he's fine. I can handle this. Just leave me the bag and if he doesn't get better by tomorrow afternoon, I'll call for a team to come and bring him down. Tell Mr. Woolsey that he's grounded for medical reasons until you clear him."

"Lexi?"

She turns on the spot and runs into the bathroom to find John shaking and leaning his head on his arm, which is draped over the toilet bowl, which he just flushed.

As she kneels down next to him, she hears Keller dropping the med bag on the bed and reaching for his hand, he snatches hers, as soon as it's close enough to him that he doesn't have to move from the position he's in.

Looking over her shoulder, she sees the doors closing, "John, we're alone again."

Lifting his head and blearily looking at her, "head...hurts."

"Yeah. I'd imagine you've got one hell of a headache. You think you can make it back to the bed and then I can give you something."

"No...pain…meds...Tylenol."

She smiles and crossing her heart, "I promise, just Tylenol and a whole bottle of water. You want some help?"

He reaches his other hand out and she takes it, pulling him to his feet slowly. He sways a little, but she has her arm around his waist and his arm draped over her shoulders before he can go anywhere. They head for the door, but he stops in front of the sink and taking his arm off of her shoulders, she knows what he wants to do.

"If I let go, you think you can stand on your own?"

"Yeah. I'm...good." he says, as she releases her grip on him and he grips the edges of the sink.

"I'm gonna go get you a new t-shirt and a pair of pjay bottoms, okay?"

He smiles at her in the mirror and she heads into the room and over to the dresser. She hears the water running and him brushing his teeth as she walks back to the bathroom. She reaches the entrance to the bathroom to find him leaning against the sink staring back at her, a small smile on his pale face.

"You look like crap."

"Thanks for caring." he says, as she moves closer to him, reaching for the hem of his t-shirt.

She pulls the shirt up and over and tossing it in the hamper, she hands him the new one and he pulls it on. She kneels down and he steps into the pjay bottoms and as she pulls them up, her face stops inches from his and he leans down and kisses her.

She pulls away, a smile on her lips, "bed?"

"Yeah and Tylenol." he says, slipping his arm around her shoulders and leaning on her as they walk out of the bathroom.

"You know they should pay you." she says, as they reach the bed and she takes the med bag off of it placing it on the floor by her feet.

He looks up at her, as she lowers him down onto it, covering him with the blankets, "who?"

"The people who make Tylenol. You're the one keeping them in business in the Pegasus galaxy." she says, as she walks over to the fridge to grab a water bottle.

Watching her walk back to him from the fridge, "yeah, I'd have made a fortune by now."

She hands him the bottle and taking a seat on the edge of the bed, she reaches into the med bag and finding the Tylenol, "it's also a good thing Jen left the bag, I haven't had time to restock my supply." and spilling out two pills, she hands them to him with the water bottle, "drink all of it."

He does and once he hands her the empty bottle, he slinks down further in the bed and grabs her hand again. Looking at him, she sees the fear and sadness in his eyes, "what happened?" she asks, even though she already knows.

Looking away from her, "it was her. It was Elizabeth and I told her she wasn't the real Elizabeth and then she went and proved me wrong."

"How did she prove you wrong?" she asks, reaching for his chin and forcing him to look at her.

"She saved me from Koracen and she saved Atlantis by giving herself up again and I should've been able to stop her this time." he answers, pulling his chin out of her hand, but not breaking eye contact.

"But John, it isn't your fault."

"That's what she said." he says letting go of her hand and pushing the heels of his hands into his eyes.

"She was right." she says, as she starts running her fingers through his hair.

He takes his hands away from his eyes and resting them across his stomach, his eyes focus on her, "I know, it's just."

"Close your eyes and go to sleep." she says, as she sees his eyes already starting to slide shut.

He lets them close all the way, but they bolt open a second later, "you're staying right?"

Rolling her eyes, "well we are in my quarters. Now shh."

Smiling a little, he closes his eyes again and she sits there, fingers still running through his hair. Feeling him relax against her, his breathing evening out, she smiles.

After about five minutes, she reaches for his wrist to check his pulse again, frowning to herself as it is still too fast. But knowing that it'll settle down eventually, she stands up and walks into the bathroom to change and get ready for bed. Twenty minutes later, climbing into the bed she smiles to herself as she feels him rolling over, his arm draping over her stomach pulling her close to him. Entwining her fingers with his, she closes her eyes and falls asleep in seconds.

xxxx

Lexi wakes up at dawn to the first rays of light starting to peek through the curtains. She rubs the sleep out of her eyes and sits up, stretching, especially her right arm as it is sore and black and blue from where John had gripped it. It takes her brain a second to realize that he isn't lying next to her and she starts to panic, but it quickly dissipates as she hears the toilet flush and the sink running.

She gets up and walks over to the bathroom. Standing in the doorway, she smiles at him in the mirror hiding her arm behind her back, "you okay?"

Turning around and leaning against the sink "yeah. I'm fine. Did I hear you tell Keller that I'm grounded until she clears me?"

"Yes." and coming to stand in front of him, wrapping her arms around his neck, "but, I've a feeling that she'll put you back on duty sooner rather than later. You feel like going back to bed?"

"Yeah."

Smiling, "good."

He takes her arms from his neck and she yelps as he touches the bruise on her right arm. He lets go quickly and frowning he takes her right arm gently in his hand and stares at the bruise on it.

"Where did that come from?"

She pulls her arm out of his hand and rubbing her left hand over it, not meeting his eyes, "it's fine, John. I just bumped into something."

Reaching for her chin, forcing her to look at him, "that's not from bumping into something."

Pulling her chin out of his hand she leans in to kiss him, hoping that she'll be able to distract him. As she pulls away, "don't worry about it. Let's go back to bed."

Leaning against the sink for a couple of seconds, he stares at her and then it hits him, "oh my g-d Lexi! I'm so sorry."

Pulling him into her, "John, it's really fine. You were in shock and didn't realize what you were doing. I know that you would never physically hurt me."

"But I did hurt you."

Pushing him away to arms length, "as I said don't worry about it. Okay? Now let's go back to bed."

Nodding, "how did I get so lucky to have you?"

Pulling him out of the bathroom and getting into the bed, cuddling up next to him, "I guess someone up there," she says pointing up to the ceiling, "figured that it would be a good idea." and propping her chin up on his chest, she sees that his eyes are closed and he has a smile on his lips. Happy that he seems to be doing better than he was last night, she rests her head back on his chest and falls asleep too. Hoping that the bad dreams are over for at least this morning.

  


  
  
  
  



	24. Chapter 24

  


Searching for John, McKay is almost at his wits end, because for some reason that completely escapes him, he has not been able to raise him on the radio. Currently in the hallway heading for John's office,  _which is a lesson in futility in its own right,_ he swipes the door chime. Waiting a couple of seconds, he swipes it again and when he gets no answer, he huffs and turns to head for the closest transporter to take him to the Control room.

Walking into the transporter, hitting the screen for the Control room, he runs over all the locations he has already checked, "mess hall? No. Gym? No. Conference room? No. Ready room? No. Lexi's quarters? No. Lexi's office? No. Infirmary? No, thank g-d." and as he steps out of the transporter in the hallway leading to the Gate room, he reaches his hand up to his ear to activate his radio, a thought occurring to him, "McKay to Teyla."

"Go ahead Rodney."

"Have you seen Sheppard?"

"Not since this morning."

Sighing, "oh, all right. Thanks. McKay out." and suddenly getting very angry that he can't seem to find the one person who he usually has no trouble finding, he doesn't even realize that he is about to run into that exact person.

"Whoa Rodney, watch where you're going."

Stopping short as he hears John, "Sheppard! I've been looking everywhere for you. Why didn't you answer your radio?"

Rolling his eyes and gesturing at the clothes he's wearing, "we were running."

Looking him over, "but I thought that you were still grounded? Jennifer said that you got knocked around pretty good when Koracen threw you against the wall."

Smiling wide, "she cleared me for light duties this morning."

Smiling and turning around to head back to the transporter, "oh, great. This is wonderful." and stopping as he realizes that John is not following him, he turns to face him and waving his hands at the transporter, "well, are you coming?"

"You didn't tell me why you were looking for me?"

Raising an eyebrow, "oh really? I thought that I had. Anyways, I've found something and I need your super gene."

Eyeing Ronon, who shrugs and looking back at McKay, wearily, "what is it?"

"I don't know what it is." and seeing him grimace, "yet."

"But...McKay you know what happened the last time we turned something on without knowing what it was."

"I know. You don't have to remind me." and turning to head for the transporter again, "but, from what I've been able to find, this is not anything dangerous. So are you coming?"

"McKay."

Stopping and turning to face him again, "what?"

"You mind if I change first?"

"Oh yeah. Sure. Meet me in Section five, sub corridor three."

"Great, thanks."

Watching as the two of them go in the opposite direction, heading for the crew quarters, "as soon as you can, Sheppard."

"I'll be there McKay."

Smiling to himself, he gets into the transporter and hits the screen to transport him to the section where the lab is. Walking into it, he hears Zelenka muttering something in Czech, "Radek, any progress?"

"No, Rodney. You?"

"Yes. Sheppard will be here soon."

"Excellent. Should we continue to try and figure this out until then?"

Heading for the chair that's situated in the middle of the room, "yes, Let's." he says, as he reaches the chair. Kneeling down, he picks up his tablet and scanning his eyes over it, he looks more closely at the chair. Noticing how it is almost identical to the one in the weapons room, except that instead of the gel control pads this one has metal restraint straps on the arm rests and at the base, he can just see wires running into the floor.

Looking back down at his tablet, he pulls up a schematic of the chair and paging through some ancient, he can tell that the wires at the base of the chair run under the floor and hook into the consoles that are all around the walls of the lab. But not being able to turn anything on to full power, he can't tell if the consoles monitor anything at all.

Sighing, as he scans the readings on his tablet again, "this is crazy." he mutters, knowing that the room obviously senses his ATA gene, as they are getting minimal readings, but not anything that is useful. Refocusing on the schematics of the chair, he loses himself in them.

xxxx

An hour later, he looks up at the sound of squeaking boots walking into the room, smiling as the room lights up like a Christmas tree, as soon as John steps into it, "ah, now we're getting some where."

Watching him react like a kid in a candy store, John apprehensively eyes the chair, as he feels the sound of Atlantis changing in his mind, "McKay, can I go?"

"Rodney, take a look at this."

Ignoring John and stepping up to Zelenka's side, "interesting. It looks like it monitors vital signs."

Not able to ignore the panic that is reaching a crescendo in the pit of his stomach and also a little annoyed at the fact that he is being ignored, "McKay!"

Hearing the uncertainty and annoyance in John's voice, he turns around to look at him, a little surprised at the emotion playing across his face, "um, actually, could you take a seat in the chair?"

Eyes coming to rest on the chair, feeling even more uneasy, "are you sure it's, you know..."

"Don't you trust me Colonel?"

Not moving from where he is standing and rolling his eyes, "it's not you that I don't trust."

Coming up to him, "John, it could be really important. It could help us find another way to defend against the Wraith. Maybe a different type of weapons chair."

Eyes lighting up, but still hesitant, "really? Another weapon."

Smiling, "yeah. It's possible. Now will you take a seat? Please."

Taking a seat in the chair and letting out a breath, "okay." and even though every fiber of his body is screaming,  _get out_ , he looks up at McKay, "so what do I have to do?"

Shrugging and kneeling down to look at his tablet again, reading through a couple of pages of text, "well according to this, in order for the chair to activate you have to slip your hands through the straps."

Leaning over and looking more closely at the straps and looking up at McKay again, "and what happens when I do that?"

"Hang on." McKay says, as he pages through a couple more lines of text on his tablet and a couple of seconds later, "I have absolutely no idea. It looks like the Ancients were being their usual vague selves about this chair."

Grimacing, "great." he says as he leans back against the chair and as he slides his hands through the straps, "this should be fun."

McKay grimaces, but as the chair reclines and lights up, he looks down at his tablet, "anything?"

Shaking his head, "no, noth...ouch!"

"What's wrong?" McKay asks, quickly looking up from his tablet, concern written across his face.

Meeting McKay's gaze, "something just stuck me and I can't move my hands." and closing his eyes, he feels beads of sweat forming on his forehead and the small of his back, along with the hum of Atlantis screaming at him.

"Rodney, come here."

Hearing the insistence in Zelenka's voice, McKay squeezes John's shoulder and walks over to the other scientist. Reaching him, he scans his eyes over the screen.

"It does monitor vital signs." Zelenka says to him.

Opening his eyes, he watches the two scientists, still trying to get his hands out of the straps. A couple of seconds later, he stops as a sharp pain radiates out from his chest up to his head, "what gives?" he grits out, before the pain escalates to the point where even he can't handle it and the last thing he is aware of is McKay shouting his name.

McKay is the first to notice the change in the vital readouts on the screen and turning his head, he shouts, "Sheppard!"

Looking back at Zelenka and at the readouts again, "oh this is not good!" he says, starting to panic and raising his hand quickly to his radio, activating it, "med team to Section five, sub corridor three, stat!"

The radio link closing, his eyes come to rest on the readouts, he frowns at them until he feels Zelenka tugging on his shirt. Turning his head to look at him, "what?"

Pointing at the display over John, "look."

Realizing that the display is playing images on it, "not a weapons chair then."

"No it's not. But Rodney, why did the chair inject him?"

Shrugging and turning to look at the vital readouts again, "I don't know. But Jennifer is not going to be happy with these readings."

"I'm not going to be happy about what readings, Rodney?" Keller asks, as she rushes into the room, a corpsman trailing after her. Seeing John passed out in the chair, she makes a beeline for him and reaching his side, she kneels down next to him. Dropping the med bag immediately, she reaches for his neck, grimacing as she feels his pulse racing under her fingertips.

Running her eyes over him, she takes in the sweat plastering his hair to his forehead, the paleness of his skin and his quick shallow breathing. Her eyes come to rest on the straps and taking a closer look at them, she notices the needles in his wrists. Turning to face McKay, "did you see these things in his wrists?"

Kneeling by her side in seconds, "he said that something had stuck him. But, how is there no blood?"

Taking out her stethoscope and leaning down to listen to John's heart and lungs, "I don't know. But let's chalk that one up to luck." she says, as she leans back, a frown on her face, "okay Hall, I want an oxygen mask on him now. Get an IV going and draw some blood to send down to the infirmary for testing. Also, get the cardiac monitor on..."

"Jennifer, come with me."

Standing up and glaring at him, "Rodney, I need to monitor his vitals."

"I know, just come over here with me" he says motioning behind them.

She follows him over to the screen and as they reach it, "Radek, go get Mr. Woolsey and Lexi, for me." he says.

Without waiting to see if Zelenka has listened to him, knowing that he will, "I have a feeling that those needles that are in his wrists are what's allowing this machine to monitor his vitals." he says as Keller joins him at the console.

Scanning her eyes over the readouts and frowning, "Hall, forget about sending the blood down." and turning to McKay, "Rodney, he's in danger of going into cardiac arrest. Can't you, um, release him from this thing?"

Looking from her to the readouts, "I don't know, I can try." he tells her as he heads over to another panel to their right. "Here we go, I need to do this." he says as he hits a set of keys, "and then this." he says, turning a couple of knobs, "and then I just hit this." he says, as he hits the last button on the panel.

They turn to look at John and looking up at the display, they smile as it flickers. But then as it gets even brighter and continues projecting images, he turns around and checking the panels again, "I did everything."

"Rodney, he's..."

"I know, hang on a sec." he says, as he rereads the data that is scrolling across the screen. After a few seconds, "oh crap!"

"What seems to be the problem, Dr. McKay?" Woolsey asks, as he, Zelenka and Lexi all walk into the lab.

Turning around, he sees them walking into the room. Woolsey and Zelenka stop short at the sight of the images playing on the screen. Lexi however stops short at the sight of John, passed out in the chair.

"Rodney, what happened?" she asks, as she too looks up at the display, also hearing the screaming of Atlantis in the back of her mind.

Coming over to the chair and picking up his tablet, "we found this lab." he says motioning at Zelenka and himself, "and when it didn't activate, I went looking for Sheppard, knowing that his gene would be able to wake the room up. As expected the room activated the minute he stepped into it, but we needed to know what the chair was for. So, I convinced him to activate that as well. He sat down, the chair injected him and then he passed out. That's when I called for a med team and we noticed the dreams being projected on the display." he says, pointing at the screen without looking at it.

Silence descends in the room, as Keller, continues to monitor John's vitals. Woolsey, Zelenka, and Lexi, watching the images on the screen.

A few minutes later, McKay shouts, "damn it!" causing everyone to jump and Lexi to tear her gaze away from the screen and looking at him, "what is it?" she asks.

Looking at everyone in the room and then looking from John to the overhead display, "he doesn't know that he's asleep. The machine convinces the subject that they are still awake."

"So what you're saying is that he believes that he's experiencing all of these events again?" Woolsey asks, a frown on his face.

Shaking his head, "yes and not just the pleasant ones. He's gonna go through the scary ones as well."

"Rodney, his vitals are still going crazy. Is that because of the machine?" Keller asks, looking at him, while listening to John's chest again, with her stethoscope.

"Yes. It looks like what happens in there, will affect him out here. You might want to get more supplies."

"Hall, head down to the infirmary, grab a defibrillator and more IV bags." she says, and straightening up, draping her stethoscope around her neck, "how do we get him out?"

Shrugging and watching the display for a couple of seconds, "I don't know, yet. It's possible that he needs to relive all of them, but give me a couple hours and I'm sure I'll come up with something."

Running her eyes over the vital readouts and over John again, "well if you're gonna do something, sooner rather than later would be better." Keller says, grimacing.

Nodding at her, "I'm on it." he says, as he glances at Lexi, who has been very quiet. Coming up next to her, he sees the tears streaking down her cheeks. Glancing up at the display, he can tell why.

  


  
  
  
  



	25. Chapter 25

  


Glued to the spot where she is standing, Lexi inwardly cringes as she hears McKay explaining what John is going to go through and forcing herself to breathe, her eyes lock on the holographic display above him and everything else fades away.

After watching the display for a couple of seconds, she tears her eyes away from it, to glance at John. Her stomach clenches in worry, as she can see the physical toll the device is having on him and looking back up to the display, she can tell why. Glimpses from the past five years are playing out in a blur, every now and then, a clearer picture will come to the forefront. Each time this happens, sounds erupt from the monitoring equipment, signaling an increase or a decrease in his vitals.

Hearing a sound erupt from the monitoring equipment, signaling an increase this time she sees herself on the display having a heated argument with him.

" _I don't love you Lexi, and I'm leaving Atlantis. I promised Chaya that I would go to her when I thought that I could."_

" _But John you can't, she's an ancient."_

" _I know that, but she doesn't always stay ascended."_

The dream on the display dissolves and as the picture clears, she sees herself again talking to him, although this time, they are standing on the planet where the sanctuary is.

" _I'm going to be with Teer. I'm sorry. Now let me go through the portal."_

" _But John, you'd have to ascend and there are people here who need you."_

The dream dissolves again and this time as the picture clears, she sees herself watching in horror as he is holding Larrin in his arms, kissing her passionately.

Feeling tears streaming down her cheeks, she turns and runs out of the lab.

Reaching the nearest transporter and getting in, she blindly hits the screen not realizing where she has sent herself. Stumbling out of the transporter, she tries to keep herself up straight by leaning on the walls.

"Lexi, oh my, what happened?"

Sliding down the wall, she buries her head in her hands and a few seconds later she feels someone pulling her into a hug. Burying her head in that person's shoulder, the scent of incense oil and spices enters her nose and she knows that it is Teyla who is holding her, "he…doesn't...love...me." she hiccups out through her sobs.

Pulling away from her and holding her at arms length, "John doesn't love you?" she asks, confusion warring with concern on her face.

Shaking her head more tears running down her face, "yes."

Pulling her into another hug, "Lexi, how can you say that? I've never seen him like he is when you are around. What has made you react this way?"

"McKay...got…him...stuck...in...a...machine...that makes...the subject...relive all...of their...dreams...and nightmares." she says, and getting her breathing under control, "I saw one of his dreams."

Pulling away again, "and in the dream, what happened?"

"John told me that he doesn't love me and the last image I saw was of him kissing Larrin." and as another sob escapes her, she realizes that people are starting to gather and stare at her and looking at Teyla, "can we ah?"

"Yes, here let me help you." Teyla says and after pulling Lexi to her feet she helps her the rest of the way to her quarters. Reaching them, Teyla swipes them in and guides her over to the couch and as they sit down, "I do not believe that what you saw is how he really feels."

"But Teyla, you didn't see how he treated me in the dream and I should've seen it coming."

"What do you mean?"

Taking a deep breath to try and calm herself again, "a little while after I got here Jen was telling me about what had happened with Larrin and John showed up. I asked him if he liked her and he said that he did. But that there was no way that anything was going to happen between them."

"Do you not believe that you can trust in what he told you?"

"I thought I could." she says, and as she catches herself twisting the ring on her finger, "it's just, well, I don't know what to believe anymore."

Taking her hand in hers, "Lexi, I believe you should trust in what you know. John loves you and if you need proof of that, then just look at the ring that is on your finger."

Looking away from her, "Teyla, thank you for helping me. But if you don't mind, I'd like to be alone."

Letting go of her hand and standing, looking hurt, "oh, okay. Well, I'm going to go see how John is."

Nodding at her, she watches as Teyla walks to the doors.

Stopping at the doors, which are now open and turning to face her, "Lexi, he does love you."

Forcing a smile to her lips, "thanks." she says, as Teyla nods and walks out of her quarters. Sitting on the couch for a couple of seconds, running over everything that just happened she realizes that she is going to go insane if she doesn't do something to work through the emotions. So, standing up, she walks over to her dresser and taking out a pair of work out clothes, she changes into them. Taking out her radio and leaving it on the bedside table, she takes off the ring and sliding it onto the chain with the dog tag that is around her neck, she leaves her quarters and heads for the gym.

xxxx

Ten minutes later, walking into it, she smiles to herself as no one else is there. Heading over to one of the punching bags hanging from the ceiling and getting into a ready stance, she unleashes all of the feelings that are swirling around in her.

An hour later, feeling the muscles in her body starting to protest at the punishment of kicking and punching the bag for so long, she hears the sound of boots coming into the gym. Not turning around to see who is coming up behind her, she continues to punish the bag. But as that person comes into her peripheral vision, she sees that it is Lorne.

Coming around to the other side of the bag, placing his hands on it to stop it from swinging, "Lexi?" and shaking his head at the look that she gives him, he focuses on her hands and catching sight of the blood, "Lexi, stop."

"No! I...need…to...do this!" she grunts out.

Letting go of the bag and coming to stand behind her, "you're bleeding." he says, as he grabs her shoulder. She swings at him, but he catches her arm and pulls her into him, her back to his chest.

Feeling his arms wrapped around her, her emotions get the better of her again and feeling her legs buckle, she sinks down to the floor, Lorne holding her tight, as she sobs, against him.

Five minutes later, feeling him rubbing her arms, she finally gets her emotions in check and taking a deep breath, "you warned me."

Feeling her breathing settling down and raising his eyebrows, "I warned you about what?"

Pulling out of his arms and turning around to face him, crossing her legs in front of her, placing her injured hands on her knees and not meeting his eyes, "you warned me about getting involved with John."

Sighing, "Lexi, look at me." he says and waits until she does, "yeah I did. But, I was wrong. McKay showed me the play back of the dream you saw and if you'd stayed to watch the end of it, you'd have seen..."

"I don't care. I saw him kiss her and that wasn't just a casual kiss. There were sparks."

"He loves you."

"Evan, just leave me alone."

"No, I will not leave you alone. Keller sent me to find you and I'm gonna take you to her. Even if I have to sling you over my shoulder and carry you there."

Anger taking over, she stands up quickly and heads for the exit. She almost makes it out of the door, when she feels his hand on her shoulder. She tries to shrug it off, but as she starts to turn around to face him, "Evan, just leave...ahh." she screams, as he hoists her over his shoulder.

Heading for the transporter, glaring at everyone who is staring at them, "sorry, Lexi, but those hands need to be looked at."

Feeling the blood starting to rush to her head, making it pound and not missing the looks from everyone in the halls, "put me down. I'll walk."

Stopping halfway to the transporter, "you promise that you'll come with me to the infirmary?"

Sighing and wincing as she is finally aware of the stinging and throbbing sensation in her knuckles, "yeah, I promise. Just put me down. People are staring."

He bends over and her feet hit the ground. Before she can take one step away from him, his hand has a firm grip on her right elbow and he is leading her to the transporter. As they step in, she feels the heat rise on her cheeks as everyone in the corridor is blatantly staring at them.

As they step out of the transporter, "Evan, why did Jen send you to find me?"

Slowing down, his expression grim, "because she and McKay need our help to get the Colonel out of the chair. When I left the lab, they'd already had to shock him twice."

Stomach twisting into knots, "but how can I help?"

"McKay found two consoles on either side of the chair. They popped out of the floor and according to the information that he's been able to translate, they need the two people with the strongest pure ATA gene."

Stopping dead in her tracks, "oh, and you and I..."

Stopping as well and looking at her, "yeah. Evidently we're the ones with the next strongest gene after Sheppard, right now on base." he says, pushing her to start walking again.

They walk the rest of the way to the infirmary in silence, Lorne not letting go of her elbow. As they walk into it, he guides her to a gurney and as she hops up onto it, "I'm gonna go find Marie, and once she's taken care of those cuts, we'll head down to the lab. You stay put." he says, looking at her sternly.

She smirks at him and watches as he walks off. Sitting on the gurney, staring down at her hands, she gets lost in her thoughts, until she feels someone squeezing her shoulder gently. Looking up, she sees Lorne standing in front of her, Marie standing next to him, medical supplies in hand.

Dropping the supplies on a tray next to the gurney, "Dr. Carter, let's see what the damage is."

Marie guides Lexi to the scanner and after running a scan to confirm that there are no broken bones, which there aren't, "well, it looks like you've just deeply bruised them. I'll just suture you up and you'll be on your way."

Wincing as Marie guides her over to the exam bed she was sitting on earlier and focusing on Lorne, who sits down next to her, she frowns at the look of concern on his face.

Grimacing as he looks at her hands, "I always forget how dangerous you are when you're angry Lexibeth."

Glaring at him, "Evan, how many times do I have to..." she stops mid sentence, sucking in a breath through her teeth, as she feels the needle going in and as the numbing agent takes effect she focuses on him again, "ask you not to call me that?"

"I know, I know. I can't help it. Old habits die hard and all."

Rolling her eyes, she doesn't miss him looking at the chain that is around her neck, holding the ring and the dog tag and she looks down at them as well. This time when she takes in a deep breath it isn't because of her hands.

Seeing her looking at the ring and dog tag, "Lexi, I know you still love him and you really should watch the end of the dream."

Looking up at him, tears threatening to spill out of her eyes, "I just don't know how I can forgive that. I'll help get him out of the stupid thing, but..."

They sit in silence while Marie stitches up the more severe cuts on her knuckles and twenty minutes later, bandaging Lexi's hands and looking up at her, "all finished Dr. Carter. Now make sure to keep them covered for the next week and come back for daily checks."

"Thanks Marie." and hopping off the gurney she turns to Lorne, ignoring the pain in her fingers, "shall we?"

Getting off the gurney as well and falling into step with her, "yeah, let's get going."

xxxx

They walk to the lab in silence, not saying anything to each other. Although, she can tell that he is itching to say something from the way he keeps looking over at her and he hasn't taken his hand off of her elbow.

As they get closer to the lab, they hear alarms going off and they start to run. As they burst through the door, they are met with the sight of Keller shocking John, not once but three times.

They stop just short of the chair and taking in the sight, Lexi feels all the color draining from her face. She runs her eyes over John and her stomach does the knot thing, as he looks like hell. He's white as a ghost, sweating like crazy and is currently being used as an electro shock patient as Keller tries to restart his heart and Hall is currently pumping air into his lungs through the ambu bag.

"Come on Colonel, don't do this." Keller says, as she shocks him for the third time.

Lexi hears her say this and looking up to the display over head, it's not hard to understand why his body is reacting this way. He's stuck on the Midway station and the air is being pumped out of it. She watches in awe as he makes it into the space suit and then the dream changes to him shooting Colonel Sumner and then it changes to him turning into a bug.

"Ah there he is." Keller says, bringing Lexi's attention back to her.

Stepping forward, "Jen?" she says, and everyone in the lab looks at her.

"Major what took you so long to find her?" McKay asks, anger and concern evident in his voice.

Looking from him to Lorne, "Rodney, it doesn't matter. Where do you need us?"

"Oh, right. Okay, Lorne you stand there at the console on Sheppard's right. Lexi you're over here." he says, pointing to the console that is next to where he's standing.

As they each walk over to their consoles, "so we just put our hands on the screens, Doc?" Lorne asks.

"Yes and think release." McKay tells them and noticing Lexi's hands, "Lexi what did you do to your hands?"

Seeing the concern on his face and seeing Keller standing up and looking over at them, "they're fine, I was too hard on a punching bag, that's all. Marie patched me up." and looking over at Lorne, "on three?"

"Yeah." he says, as he nods his head.

Stepping closer to the console, "okay, 3, 2, 1." On one, she places her hands on the screen and closing her eyes, she thinks,  _release_. She feels the warmth running down her arms from her head and she sees the needles in John's wrists, retracting in her minds eye, leaving nothing but pinpricks on his skin. She hears nothing but the hum of Atlantis calming as John is released and then as quick as it was there, everything goes silent.

Opening her eyes, she sees Lorne doing the same. They share a smile and looking over at John, she sees that the chair is no longer reclining and that his eyes are blearily sweeping the room. She sees the panic and pain in them and is surprised that he isn't jumping out of the chair, trying to get away from it. But as his eyes come to rest on her, she can tell why. He's exhausted and the frown that creases his forehead as he focuses on her lets her know that he remembers all of it.

A few moments later, all his energy gone, he passes out, his head lolling to his right. Keller has her fingers to his carotid in seconds, "steady and strong, he's just unconscious. Let's get him down to the infirmary. Ronon, Lorne do you mind helping us get him on the gurney?"

Lexi watches as Ronon and Lorne help Keller and Hall transfer him to the waiting gurney and as they begin to wheel it out of the lab, McKay, Teyla, Woolsey and Zelenka follow it out.

Seeing movement to her right and looking in that direction, she sees Keller coming up to her, "Lexi, why don't you come down and let me take a look at your hands."

Frowning, "Jen, they're fine. Marie did a good job. Just take care of John."

Hearing the hurt in her voice, "I'm sure he'll want you there when he wakes up."

Shaking her head, "no, I'm beat. I think I'm gonna turn in early." she says, and as she reaches around her neck to unclasp the chain holding the dog tag and ring, "can you make sure that he gets this?"

Frowning at her and accepting the chain, "but, Lexi, you know that…"

"No it's for the best. I saw all I needed to see. Please just give it to him." she says, walking out of the lab and not looking back at Keller, who is staring after her in shock.

She makes it to her quarters without breaking down. However the minute the doors close and she leans against them, she starts to sob again. Wrapping her arms around herself, she walks into the bathroom and turning on the shower, she strips and climbs in. As she lets the hot water run over her body, she hisses as it soaks through the bandages on her hands and cries even harder than she thought was possible.

Thirty minutes later, climbing into her bed, hands freshly bandaged, she grabs Mr. Puddles from the bedside table and cries herself into a restless sleep.

  


  
  
  
  



	26. Chapter 26

  


The last thing John remembers is being in the chair.  _I'm gonna kill McKay!_  and then he realizes that there are voices coming from somewhere far off in the distance. Straining to focus on them, he realizes that it's the bickering whispers of his team.

"But Teyla I told you."

"Yes Rodney, I know. But she is hurting and from what you showed me on the display, she has every right to be. I know that John loves her, but."

Noticing that John is starting to shift in the bed and might be about to join them in the land of the conscious, "uh, guys, I think he's waking up." Ronon says.

Struggling to open his eyes, John shifts in the bed, a low moan escaping him as the movement causes a dull pain to radiate through his chest. Realizing that moving is not such a great idea at the moment, he again tries to open his eyes. Still not having any luck, he suddenly becomes aware of the fact that it feels as if someone is seriously playing with the thermostat and that his throat is as dry as the Sahara. Taking it all in, he feels the nasal cannula under his nose, the IV in his right arm, a tube somewhere he'd rather there not be one and last but not least he hears the beeping of not one but two monitors. Turning his head on the pillow a little, the tug of wires, confirms his suspicions that one of them is an EEG machine.

Coming up to the bed and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, "Colonel, I need you to open your eyes for me." Keller says.

Hearing her voice and feeling her hand on his shoulder, John resumes his efforts to open his eyes. It takes what feels like forever, but he finally manages to open them a crack, her concerned face solidifying in his line of vision.

"That's it Colonel, open them all the way. I've got the lights on low."

Doing as he is told, he realizes that someone important is missing from the group, surrounding his bed, "Lexi?" he croaks out.

Hearing the roughness of his voice, "hang on." Teyla says, as she reaches for the cup of water on the tray next to her and bringing the straw up to his lips, "take a few sips." she says, as he looks up at her, his eyes conveying his thanks as he does so.

After swallowing all he can, he pushes the cup away and looking at everyone, "where's Lexi?"

Everyone shares a look of concern and when they don't answer him, he looks at Keller who is in the middle of checking his blood pressure, "okay guys, what's going on?"

Placing the blood pressure cuff down on the table next to the bed, wrapping her stethoscope around her neck and looking him in the eye, "what's the last thing you remember?"

He doesn't have to think about it very long, "being in that damn chair. Why, what happened?"

"Do you remember what you saw in the chair?" she asks.

Screwing his face up in thought, it only takes a few seconds for all the images to come flooding back to him in a rush and as the cardiac monitor starts to beep faster and faster, Keller grabs his shoulder, "Colonel, it's okay. Calm down."

Trying to sit up, pulling at all the wires and tubes in and on him, "no. I've got to apologize. Oh g-d! How long?"

Helping Keller hold him down against the bed, "Sheppard, you've been out a week. Calm down." Ronon says.

Hearing this just makes him struggle harder against their hands and he keeps struggling, until he feels his hands being strapped down to the gurney and looking at them, fear and pain in his eyes, "let me outta these things, now!"

Seeing that he is going to harm himself if they don't stop him from trying to get out of the bed, "Marie get me a sedative now!" Keller shouts.

McKay and Teyla can only stand and watch the scene in horror, not knowing what they can do to help.

Still fighting against the hands that are trying to keep him in the bed, he hears Keller shout for the sedative, but all that he is focused on is getting out of the bed. Therefore he only realizes that the sedative is being injected into his IV, when the room starts to grey out around him, as it takes affect. The last thing he is aware of is everyone looking at him, shock and concern written across their faces and then everything goes black.

Seeing him finally lose consciousness, Keller finishes her checks and as she is typing her notes down on his chart, "well, that certainly went well." she says facetiously and seeing the shock on Ronon, Teyla and McKay's faces, "he's gonna be out a while, why don't you go get some rest. I'll radio you when he's awake."

Ronon and McKay, after looking at him one last time head out of the infirmary. Teyla however hangs back.

"Jennifer, we can't give him the necklace."

"I agree. We should wait until he's a little stronger, before we explain it to him. I just wish she'd watch the tape. I tried showing it to her, but she wouldn't watch it."

"I also tried to do so, but she got up and left before I could. In fact, she has only left her quarters for her duties and the only person who she'll even talk to or spend time with is Major Lorne."

Gesturing for Teyla to walk with her, they head for her office, "I think she'll come around to spending time with us again soon. But I don't think she's going to listen to anyone on the subject of getting back together with him." and tiredly running her hands over her face, "there has to be something we can do."

Nodding, "I agree, but I don't know what that could be. Will John be okay, physically?"

Grimacing, "yes. His temp is still up there, but I've upped the dosage on the antibiotics to help fight the infection he got from being injected by the chair. Ironically enough, the person who could help him most is the one person who wants nothing to do with him."

Smiling sadly, "yes well, I'm sure we can help him get through this." Teyla says getting up and reaching the door, "get some sleep Jennifer."

"I will. Have a good night Teyla." she says, as she too heads into the infirmary. Satisfied that everything is indeed in order, she heads for her quarters.

xxxx

Twelve hours later, John wakes up again and certain that he's out of the woods physically, Keller allows McKay to explain what the chair did to him. A couple of days later, she releases him to light duty. The first thing he does, as soon as he's allowed out of the infirmary, is head for Lexi's quarters, necklace in hand and a knot in his stomach.

Halfway to her quarters, "oh, Lorne, I was just, ah..." he stutters, as he comes to an abrupt stop in the hallway.

Frowning, "yes, sir. I know. But I wouldn't go there if I were you."

"But why? I just want to apologize."

"She won't listen. We've all tried to convince her to. But she's stubborn and she's still hurting. You really pulled a number on her, sir."

"Tell me Evan. Do you blame me?"

Taken aback by the use of his first name, but quickly recovering, "no, sir. I saw the end of the dream, so I know the truth. But, well." shifting uncomfortably, "give her time. She'll come around." he says, a small smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

Looking uncertainly towards the direction of her quarters, "how can you be so sure?"

"Well, because I know Lexi and I know that she loves you."

Curling his fingers around the necklace even tighter and focusing on Lorne, "okay. Thanks Major. Have a good night."

Smiling and nodding, "you too sir. I'm glad that you're okay." he says, as he heads for the Control room, as he's on watch.

Watching him go, he hesitates a moment longer in the hallway, still considering going to see Lexi and deciding against it, he heads for his own quarters. After getting changed and putting the necklace away in a safe place, he heads out of his quarters for a quick run, before going to sleep.

  


  
  
  
  



	27. Chapter 27

  


Six weeks after the chair incident, Lexi is running, through the halls of Atlantis. Still hurting from having seen John's dream, she has been doing everything she can to avoid him, even asking Teyla to return all of John's things to him.

Reaching Gate room corridor three, she swerves out of the way of a couple of scientists who just walked into her path. Refocusing on the inner battle she has been having during the run,  _but you knew what you were getting into._  and running a little faster, _yeah, but I never really thought something like this would happen._

Coming up to the entrance leading to the Gate room, she sighs to herself, a little relief flooding through her as she realizes that she doesn't have to be on edge this morning, because John is about to head off world to check on Dr. Nichols's team on M44-5Y9. Which also means that three out of the nine people who have been trying to convince her that John is just as miserable as she is, will be off world.

 _As a matter of fact they should be walking through the Gate right now_ and as she passes by the entrance leading into the Gate room, she hears the last chevron engage and the wormhole activate. Slowing down, she catches sight of John and the rest of his team walking up to the Gate.

Just as he reaches the event horizon she catches a glimpse of him and picking up more speed, she feels the rush of feelings welling up in her stomach and silently cursing,  _damn him for being so good looking,_  she continues on her run.

xxxx

Later on that night, Lexi finds herself walking into the infirmary, heading for Keller's office. She had run into Amelia in the mess, and after hearing what had happened on M44-5Y9, she felt compelled to find out for herself that everyone was indeed all right.

Walking up to Keller's office, she silently yells at herself for worrying more about John. Coming to a stop in the doorway, she plasters on a smile, as she knocks on the door frame, "ah, Jen?"

Looking up from her tablet, seeing that it is Lexi standing there and returning the smile, "they're fine. He's fine."

Coming to sit in one of the chairs opposite of her, "uh...huh…what?"

Smiling faltering, "I thought you were here to find out how the Colonel is?"

Shaking her head, "not really, but that's good."

"Oh, okay. Well then, what did you want?"

Realizing that she is not really ready for this conversation, "um, nothing, sorry to bother you. I'm just gonna be going. Have a good night." she says, and standing up she leaves a very confused Keller, sitting at her desk staring after her.

As she steps out of the transporter in the crew quarter's section, a little voice in her head says,  _go see him. He's still in love with you._

Ignoring the voice, even though she really does want to see him, if she were honest with herself, she heads for her quarters. Reaching them she swipes herself in and gets ready for bed. Twenty minutes later, she falls asleep, with no idea about what is about to happen and how much, not only John will need her, but the rest of his team and Keller too. Of course, she also has no idea that the intervention that it will take for her to forgive John, will come from a best friend.

  



	28. Chapter 28

  


Sitting in her office, Lexi is reading over Keller's report of the past eighteen days, which includes the report on the invasive surgery she performed on McKay, this afternoon. Sitting back in her chair, she opens up the first video file. She waits a couple of seconds and as the first video pops up, she takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly and bracing herself for what she is about to see.

Forty minutes later, she stares at the screen, blushing crimson. She looks down at the time code on the screen, which reads, "Day 6 22:14" and looking back up at the image of McKay sitting on screen, she sees him look past the camera and she realizes that he is looking at Keller, who she knows was the one recording these sessions.

She watches as he speaks to Keller, forgetting that he is on camera, "Jennifer, there's s-something I wanted to um...while I remember, while I still can. There's something I wanted to say before, ah..."

"Go ahead."

"I..uh..I love you. I've loved you for some time now."

Staring at the screen in shock, she sees a smile cross his face, as he looks down at his hands and looking back up into the camera, "ok, Where was I?" he asks, and the video cuts off.

Hitting the pause button, she stands up and starts to pace back and forth behind her chair, "oh, boy." she says out loud and as the realization of what this confession is going to mean for everyone involved hits her, "no wonder Jen was hesitant for me to see this."

Pacing back and forth for a couple more seconds to work off some of the shock, she finally sits back down and as she does so, she fast-forwards to one of the last recordings. As McKay had gotten progressively worse, Keller had been very selective of who she would let sit with him. Lexi and his teammates had been among those allowed to do so, but still, she wanted to really see the degeneration. As it affected his mind and memory and being a psychiatrist it fascinated her.

As she is waiting for the video to cue to the exact moment that she wants, she thinks back to her initial conversation with Keller about the situation. After that conversation, she had come to the realization that the only thing she was going to be able to do was her job. Which meant that the relative normalcy that her department enjoyed was completely shattered. However, it was harder for her, as she had come to consider McKay and the rest of John's teammates and Keller as family.

"I guess that's why I'm so glad that he's cured and doesn't remember most of it." she says out loud as the video finally cues to the right second. As she refocuses on the screen, a feeling of dread washes over her, as a voice in the back of her head screams at her,  _he might not remember. But the fall out from this is going to be huge. Especially for a certain Lt. Colonel, you are currently avoiding._

Hitting the play button, "yeah, but I'm not the only one avoiding someone." she tells herself, trying to rationalize it and taking a look at the time code on the screen, "Day 15, 09:36." she nods in satisfaction that she has reached the point she wants.

Looking at the image of McKay on screen in a t-shirt and a bathrobe, she winces, as he looks utterly confused, his voice slurring a little, as he shifts uncomfortably and awkwardly in the chair.

She also shifts uncomfortably in her chair, as from off screen she hears Keller, "you can go ahead, Rodney."

"I don't remember where to start."

"Sure you do."

"No"

"Start with your name, like we've been doing, okay? We'll just go from there."

She winces again as she continues to see him fidgeting on screen, not making eye contact with the camera, "my name…my name is Mr. Rodney McKay."

"No..." she hears Keller say from off screen and then with what she can tell takes a great effort, McKay insists, "yes."

"Come on now. You're Dr. McKay, remember?"

"No. I'm...I'm not anymore. I'm not...s-smart anymore. Doctors are smart, so I'm mister now."

"Okay."

She fast-forwards a little and hitting the play button again, she stares at the screen, watching as he gets agitated and asks, "where is…where did John go?"

Seeing this, she feels tears starting to form in her eyes, as from off screen she hears Keller telling him, "he just had to go away for a few minutes. He'll be back."

She looks away from the screen for a second, trying to stop the tears from falling, but quickly turns her attention back to it, as she hears the pleading in his voice, as he says, "John?"

She wipes away the first couple of tears from her face, as from off screen she hears the pain in Keller's voice, as she tries to calm him down, "Rodney, Rodney, I'm your friend. I'm right here."

Finally she gives up all hope of not crying, as she sees him squirming in the chair, as he looks around the room saying, "where are you, John? John!"

Hitting the stop button and placing her hands over her face, she sobs. The reality of how much pain this whole situation has and will continue to cause for everyone involved, hitting her hard.

A couple of minutes later, having gotten her crying under control, the voice in her head yells at her again,  _especially for John and you weren't there for him._

This just makes her angry,  _yeah well, it's his fault isn't it,_  as she wipes away the last remaining tears from her face.

She takes a couple of deep breaths to get her anger under control and leaning back in her chair, the memory of seeing John and McKay heading out of John's quarters, beers in hand, comes back crystal clear.

It had been about a week into the progression of the disease that was attacking McKay and she had finally realized that she had forgiven John and worrying about how he would be handling the situation, she found herself walking to his quarters. Instead of finding him alone in his quarters though, she found herself standing outside of them, eaves dropping on the conversation taking place inside, between him and McKay.

"I woke up and everyone had left."

"Oh, buddy. I'm sorry, I-I thought you'd fallen asleep." John had said and Lexi's breath had caught in her chest, as she heard the remorse and fear in his voice.

"Oh...I was...I got so scared. I was sure that...by morning what was left of my mind was gonna be gone."

"All right. I'm going to take you back to your quarters, okay?"

Hearing him say this, she had smiled, as she could tell by the tone of his voice he was exhausted and the relief that she had felt, at the thought of him actually getting some sleep was comforting.

However it was quickly dashed, "John...John, I've never been so scared. I'm slipping away, I'm slipping away and I don't know how to stop myself!"

"Look, you're still here. All right? You're still here."

"Yeah. I am."

"And...I-I'm not going anywhere. You know, you want to hang out, you just...hang out."

She had smiled again as she heard this and she had turned to head back to her quarters, happy in the knowledge that he might have been able to get McKay to get some rest. Which would have let him get some as well. She had made it about a foot down the corridor and was just about to turn the corner, when she heard movement coming from behind her.

She had quickly moved out of sight and watched as they walked to the transporter, beers in hand. Noticing that McKay was wearing John's jacket, as well as the fact that John had no socks on. However, instead of going after him, she had turned and headed back to her quarters.

 _You probably should've gone after him._  the voice in her head says, bringing her back to the present.

Taking a look at the clock on her tablet and sighing, she realizes that it's already 2425. Closing out of the video program and tucking the tablet under her arm, she heads for the exit, silently berating herself,  _yeah, I probably should've._

Reaching the doors, she swipes the control panel and as they slide open to let her out, she steps back startled, "Evan, what're you doing here?"

As he takes her by the elbow and guides her to the couch, "I need to show you something."

Looking from him to the door and back, "can't it wait for tomorrow? I was just..."

"No, it can't wait." he tells her and she's a little shocked at the annoyance that she hears in his voice.

"But?"

"No, Lexi. For over two months now, we've watched as you and Sheppard have avoided each other."

Completely shocked, "who's we?"

Sitting down on the couch, taking the tablet out of her hands and inserting an external USB drive into it, "that doesn't matter. Now, I know that he will probably kill us for this, but something has to be done. Especially after everything that's just happened."

Watching him bring up the drive on the tablet screen and clicking on a file, "what do you mean especially now?"

He looks at her, concern etched across his face, as she sits down next to him, "Keller is really worried about him."

"Wh..." the words get stuck in her throat, as the image from the dream that caused the break up, comes up on the screen.

Starting to stand up, "I don't need to see..."

Pulling her down and placing a hand on her shoulder, "yes you do."

Forcing herself to look at the screen, she sees John telling her that he's breaking up with her to be with Chaya and then Teer and then she sees him kissing Larrin. She feels tears streaking down her cheeks and turns her head away from the screen.

"Lexi, watch it. I know it's hard, but wait."

Turning her head to look at him and then at the screen, he hits the play button again and the image changes from John kissing Larrin, to him pulling away from her, "get off of me!" he screams and the image shifts to the three women standing around him and him screaming at them, "I'm not yours, I belong to Lexi. Leave me alone!"

The video cuts off and she stares transfixed at it for a couple of minutes, trying to form a coherent thought. Finally, she feels Evan's hand on her shoulder tighten and she looks at him, tears flowing steadily down her cheeks, "oh g-d, what have I done?" she asks and as what he told her before the video starts to sink in fully, "oh no, why's Jen worried about him?"

He pulls her into a hug and burying her head in his shoulder, she cries some more. He holds her until she pulls herself together and as he pulls away, "well, when they got back from the planet this afternoon he debriefed Woolsey and then went directly to his quarters, without stopping by the infirmary for his after mission check. Keller didn't notice until about an hour ago, that he hadn't shown up."

Smiling, "it's not like this is the first time he's not shown up for a post mission check up. He's probably just sleeping, which is definitely a good thing."

Nodding his head, a small smile coming to his lips, "yeah, Keller thought that was the case, but..."

"Has she tried calling him on his radio or checking up on him?"

"Yeah, she radioed him and he told her he'd stop by tomorrow morning. But she didn't like how he sounded over the radio, so she sent Teyla and Ronon to check on him. They couldn't get into his room. He'd locked the doors."

"So what does Jen want me to do?"

Sighing, "it's not really Keller." he says, looking guilty and concerned at the same time.

"Then who?"

Running his hand through his hair, "Ronon, Teyla and I are the ones who want you to go check on him. You're probably the only one who can get through to him.

"But, he doesn't want anything to do with me. You said it yourself. We've both been avoiding each other."

Rolling his eyes, "Lexi, you're gonna have to be the adult here. You know he won't ask for help."

"But."

Glaring at her, "I know what you're gonna say. But, he's been running on fumes since McKay got sick."

Keeping her eyes locked on his and seeing the worry that's etched across his face, not just for John, but for her as well, she smiles and finally decides to give into the voice in her head, "I'll go see him."

Getting up, they walk out of her office for the transporter and as they get in, he hits the screen for the crew quarters, "good. I'm glad and see if you can get him down to see Keller."

As they get out of the transporter in the corridor that leads to John's quarters, she smiles at him, "will do and Evan, thanks."

Returning her smile and turning to head for his quarters, "hey, if you pull this off, it'll be me thanking you. Good luck."

"Thanks, sleep tight." she says, as she watches him disappear around the corner of the hallway that leads to his quarters.

xxxx

A few seconds later, she turns and heads down the corridor to John's quarters. Coming to a stop in front of the doors, she swipes her hand over the door control panel, "John, it's Lexi."

She waits about a minute, before swiping the control again, "John, come on, open the door, please. I need to talk to you."

"I'm...coming." comes the sleepy and annoyed response from the other side of the doors.

She smiles to herself, at the fact that he was indeed sleeping and that she is getting butterflies in her stomach, at the prospect of seeing him. Of course the moment is short lived, as the doors swish open in front of her and she takes in a quick breath, "John, you look horrible."

"You...don't say." he coughs out, leaning against the doorframe.

Sighing and scanning him over, she inwardly groans. All the color's gone from his face, he's got dark circles under his eyes and his collar is ringed with sweat. She steps closer to him, but he turns away from her, heading back into the room. She follows him and about halfway to his bed, she lunges to catch him, as he nearly face plants on the floor.

Draping his left arm around her shoulders and grabbing his waist, she mentally shuts the doors, feeling the heat radiating from him, "why aren't you down in the infirmary?"

"I'm...fine."

"Like hell you are." she says, easing him down on the bed and covering him with the blankets, "you're sick."

"Don't…call…Keller." he mumbles, as his eyes slide shut.

Frowning at him, she reaches for her radio, "Dr. Carter to Dr. Keller."

"Go ahead Lexi."

"Jen, I'm with John."

"How is he?"

"Not good. You'd better get down here."

"I'm on my way."

"Good, Carter out."

She mentally brings the lights up a little, so that she can see him better and startles as she sees his glassy hazel eyes staring back at her.

Placing her hand over her heart, "John, you scared me."

"Sorry. You…called...Keller?"

Running her fingers through his hair, "yeah, you need to be checked over."

He reaches for her hand and she lets him take it.

Frowning at him, "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For not believing that you love me."

"Open...draw...over...there." he tells her, coughing and pointing at his dresser.

Looking at him with concern, she gets up and walking over to the draw, she opens it and looks down to see a black box. She takes it out and brings it back over to him.

He props himself up against the pillows, moaning and closing his eyes.

"Room spinning?" she asks.

"Yeah." he says, opening his eyes and taking the box from her, he opens it. Taking out the necklace and sliding the ring off the chain he puts the chain and the box down on the bedside table and reaching for her left hand, he slips the ring on her finger, "that's where it belongs and I'm sorry too."

She leans over to kiss him and she feels him shift and pull her down into his arms. As she squeezes next to him, she feels his body shudder, as another set of coughs wrack through him.

Frowning up at him, "that doesn't sound very good."

He looks down at her, through half closed eyelids, "yeah."

Realizing that he's losing the battle of staying awake, "go to sleep. Jen will be here soon and we'll get you better in no time."

Eyes closing all the way, "stay…with…me?"

Rubbing his right arm, which is resting on his stomach, "don't worry, I'm not going anywhere ever again."

xxxx

Five minutes later, she hears the door chime. She carefully gets out of the bed and with one last look at him, concerned that his breathing is becoming labored, she walks the short distance to the door and swipes her hand over the control panel.

"Lexi, any change?" Keller asks.

"Yeah, he's having trouble breathing and he was coughing before he fell asleep." she says, as she steps aside to allow Keller and corpsman Hall into the room.

Hearing the doors swish open and the conversation between Keller and Lexi, John opens his eyes just as Keller reaches his side, "hey...doc."

Seeing that he is awake, inserting her stethoscope in her ears, "Colonel, I need you to take as deep a breath as you can for me."

He closes his eyes against a wave of nausea and opening them again, "can't." he grits out, before another set of coughs has him moaning. Catching his breath, "it...hurts."

"I know, but..." she leans down and pulling up his shirt, she places the bell of the stethoscope to his chest, "try."

Hearing and seeing this, Lexi comes over to the right side of the bed and sitting down on the edge of it, "John." she says, to get his attention and as he turns his head on the pillow to look at her, "come on I know you can do it."

Grimacing, "okay."

She looks at Keller, who nodding back at her says, "on three. 3, 2, 1."

On one he takes as deep a breath as he can and it sends him into a coughing fit. They help him sit up and as he slumps forward against Lexi, she feels him shivvering. She holds him steady, while Keller slips the stethoscope under the back of his t-shirt.

Her attention is brought back to him, as she feels him bury his face in her shoulder, muffling a moan, "almost over." she whispers in his ear, thinking to herself,  _could he be anymore of a big kid?_

Pulling the stethoscope out from under his shirt, "Lexi, lie him down and take his temp for me. Hall, hand me the IV and get the oxygen on him now."

Gently easing him back onto the pillows, Lexi reaches for the thermometer and sticks it in his ear, watching as his eyes slide shut. The thermometer beeps and as she pulls it out of his ear, Hall slips the oxygen mask on him.

Looking down at the screen, she frowns as she reads out loud, "104.8." and looking up at Keller from the screen, "Jen, what's going on?"

Inserting the IV into his left arm, "I think he's got pneumonia. But I want to wait to get a scan of him down in the infirmary, before I settle on that diagnosis. "

"Doctor, are we ready to move him?" Hall asks, wheeling in the gurney.

"No, I want to get his BP." she says, as she wraps the cuff around John's arm and presses the button on the machine, waiting for it to take its reading.

"How bad?" Lexi asks, as she sees the frown on her face.

Taking the cuff off of John's arm and stowing it in her med bag, "not good. Okay, let's move him."

Standing up and turning to face the bed, "you want to just use the sheet?" Lexi asks.

Nodding, "yeah, that'll work best."

Hall moves the gurney right up to the bed and then moves to the end of it. Keller leans over the gurney and Lexi bends down on John's right side, pulling out the edges of the sheet.

"Okay on two. 1 and 2." Keller says and as she says two they all lift and gently lower him onto the gurney. Lexi stands off to the side, as Keller and Hall get him situated, getting lost in her own thoughts.

"Lexi?"

Shaking her head, "yeah, sorry." she says and they walk out of the room, heading for the infirmary.

xxxx

Fifteen minutes later, Lexi is sitting in a familiar place watching as Keller and the rest of her team maneuver John under the ancient scanner. She waits the few seconds it takes for the scanner to pass over him and as Keller comes to stand next to her at the monitor, "ah, Jen, we should talk."

Focusing on the monitor, "about what?"

Keeping her eyes on John, who's out cold, but breathing easier with the help of the oxygen, "the recordings."

"Oh. Um, can it wait?"

"Sure whenever you're ready." and as she finishes speaking, her eyes flick to the scan that's coming up on the monitor, "you were right." she says, a mix of worry and relief in her voice.

"Yeah, it's a good thing you went to check on him. Let's get him settled, shall we?"

They get him into his bed, cardiac leads attached to his chest, a pulse ox monitor on his finger and a nasal cannula replacing the oxygen mask.

Watching Keller making some final adjustments to the IV, "so how's Rodney?"

Looking up at her from the IV line that she is untangling from the blankets, "he's doing great. No lasting affects what so ever. I'll be releasing him tomorrow morning and keeping him restricted to base for a week."

Smiling and slipping into doctor mode herself, "hey, why don't you go catch some sleep? Dr. Cole is on and can always radio you if need be."

Returning the smile and running her hands over her face, "that sounds like a good idea. You gonna be here?"

"No plans on leaving anytime soon."

"Good to hear. Good night."

"Sleep tight." Lexi says, and watches as she walks out of the room.

"Thought...she'd...never...leave."

Eyes darting from the door to John, a large smile crosses her lips, as she looks into his tired eyes, "how ya doin?"

"Tired and hot."

Sitting on the edge of the bed and taking his hand in hers, brushing her thumb over the top of it, "yeah, I can imagine. But Jen's got you on the good stuff." she says, meeting his eyes and looking him over, the guilt washes over her, "just so you know, I'm kicking myself for letting you trek through the city with no socks on."

"Huh?"

Smiling sadly at the confusion on his face, "I was outside of your quarters, the night that you um, had beer with Rodney."

"What were you doing there?" he asks, grimacing

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just sore. You didn't answer my question."

Glancing at the monitors, she frowns at the readings.

"Lexi?"

Refocusing on him, "well, let's just say I was worried about you."

"Why?"

"Because even though we weren't together anymore, I, um. I was and still am in love with you. You're it for me."

Smiling at her, "you're it for me too. I might still flirt though." and clearing his throat as he feels a cough building, "can't…help it, sorry."

Frowning, "as long as it's okay that I do it too?"

"Fair enough." he says, looking away from her, coughing into the crook of his elbow.

Watching him, she just catches the haunted look creeping into his eyes as he turns his head away from her, coughing, "you okay?"

Turning his head back to look at her, "I guess…so. Just need some ah, time."

"He's okay, you know. He doesn't remember most of it."

Coughing again, he grimaces and closes his eyes as the coughs leave him breathless. The next thing he knows, Lexi is rubbing circles on his back and leaning into her touch as it helps ease the tension in his muscles, "yeah…but…I do."

Sighing and continuing to rub his back, "you want to talk about it?"

Trying to keep his eyes open, "not right now…maybe later." and feeling her shift so that he is lying in her arms, he lets his body completely relax against her, "can we…get some sleep?"

"Absolutely." she says and kissing his forehead, "you know there's a benefit to you having a temp."

"Really, what's that?"

"I don't need a blanket."

"Uh. Just go to sleep, you crazy woman."

Smiling, "hey, I have to be, I'm in love with you."

"Love...you...too." he whispers, as he falls back to sleep.

She mentally dims the lights and falls asleep with him in her arms. Happy that she is back with him and that he does in fact love her as much as she loves him.

xxxx

Five hours later, John squirming in the bed wakes her up. She immediately raises the lights, "John what's wrong?"

His eyes lock with hers and the fear in them frightens her, "can't...breathe." he gasps out.

She jumps out of the bed and grabbing the oxygen mask that's hanging behind it, she takes off the nasal cannula and replaces it with the mask. Turning on the oxygen flow, "take slow easy breaths."

Her eyes quickly glance at the monitors and she frowns at what she sees. His pulse ox has dropped and his pulse is racing. She refocuses on him, as he's still shifting in the bed, breathing quick and shallow.

Sitting on the side of the bed and taking his hands in hers, "John, focus on me and calm down. I need you to slow your breathing down, let the mask work."

He stops squirming as his eyes lock with hers again, gripping her hands for dear life, "it...hurts."

"I know, but the oxygen will help, if you let it."

"Lexi, what happened?"

She turns her head to see Keller rushing towards the left side of the bed, scanning the monitors. She releases his hands, but he doesn't let go of hers, staring at her the fear in his eyes intensifying.

Staring at him, worry coursing through her, "just breathe, slow and steady. I'm right here."

He shakes his head and as the alarms on the machines go off, she sees his eyes roll back into his head, "John!" she shouts and letting go of his hands and jumping off the bed, she is pushed out of the way as Keller and her staff descend on him.

She watches in horror as Keller intubates him, checking his breath sounds with her stethoscope and she winces, as she hears her shout for, "500 mg of Azithromycin and 5 mg of Diazepam."

As the activity around him calms down and everyone but Keller leaves the room, she comes next to the bed and scans the monitors, her eyes finally coming to rest on him.

"Lexi, he's stabilizing, but he's still in bad shape."

Not taking her eyes off him, grabbing his right hand and sitting down in the chair she hooks behind her with her foot, "I would've thought he'd be able to fight this."

"His body is fighting it, he just needs more help. His immune system is run down, probably from lack of sleep and being near the radiation from the Shrine."

Looking from him to her and back, "how long you gonna keep him on it?"

Frowning as she scans the monitors again, obviously worried, "I'm gonna say forty eight hours, I want to give his lungs some rest. I also want to get his temp down."

Nodding in understanding, "and you're keeping him sedated."

Smiling, "yeah, until I take him off it. I don't need him pulling it out." and fussing with her stethoscope, "do you have appointments today?"

"Not until 1300, you want to grab some breakfast and chat?"

Scanning the monitors one more time, "yeah, let me just write up orders for him. I'll meet you there in twenty."

Standing up and leaning over, she kisses him on his forehead, feeling the heat from it on her lips. Straightening up, "great. I'm gonna stop by Woolsey's office and let him know. See you in twenty." she says, as she walks out of the room for the exit.

xxxx

Walking out of the infirmary, she heads for the transporter and getting in, she hits the screen that will take her to the Gate room. Exiting the transporter and walking up the ramp that leads into it, she sees Lorne and his team waiting for the Gate to activate.

"Lexi, what're you doing here?" Lorne asks, as soon as he sees her.

Stopping right in front of him, "ah, I was just on my way to see Woolsey."

"About what?" he asks, as the fifth chevron engages.

Shifting uncomfortably under their gazes, "Colonel Sheppard." she answers, not missing the concern rippling through the four men standing in front of her.

"Is he okay?"

"He's got pneumonia." and as the gate activates behind them, "don't worry about it, though. Dr. Keller has got it in check."

"Major Lorne, what's taking so long?"

All five of them look up to the Control room balcony to see Woolsey standing there, hands on hips and a questioning look on his face. Lorne shares a look with Lexi, "nothing sir, we're on our way."

"Good. Regular check ins please."

Nodding, "yes sir." and looking at Lexi, a frown crossing his lips, "Lexi, take good care of him. I'll be back in three days."

"Will do and boys, be safe." she says and as she reaches the midway point of the stairs, she watches them walk through the Gate, silently offering up a prayer that they'll be safe. As the Gate shuts down, she continues up to the Control room.

Reaching the balcony where Woolsey is still standing, looking down at the Gate room, "good morning, Mr. Woolsey. Can I have a word?"

Turning to her with a smile, "sure, in my office?"

Returning the smile, "yes. That would be good." and following him into it, she nods and smiles at Chuck on her way past him. As she enters the office she takes a seat in one of the coffee chairs to the right of the door and watches as Woolsey lowers himself into the one opposite of her.

Settling in the chair, "Dr. Carter, what can I do for you?"

Taking a deep breath and inwardly sighing at the fact that no matter how many times she's told him, he still addresses her by her title, "Colonel Sheppard is ill and will be grounded for at least a week."

Sitting up straighter in the chair, concern etched across his forehead, "is he contagious?"

"Well it's pneumonia, so there is always a chance."

"What is his prognosis?"

Sighing, "well, Dr. Keller has him sedated and on a ventilator."

"It's that serious?"

"Well yes and no. He was having difficulty breathing, so she had to intubate him. But she's confident that he'll be ready to be taken off of it in a couple of days. In regards to his prognosis, well once he's off the vent we'll have to wait and see."

Shaking his head and frowning, "is this a common occurrence?"

"Is what a common occurrence?"

"Colonel Sheppard being sick or injured."

Frowning as she gets up, "injured more than sick, but yes."

Getting up as well, to walk with her to the door, "why?"

Stopping in the doorway and turning to face him, "because he would rather protect everyone else, even if it means that he gets hurt in the process."

"Again, I ask why? Why would he want to be in that position?"

Sighing again, "because it's the one thing he can control. With everything that happens out here on a daily basis, he knows that he can't control anything other than trying to keep his people safe."

"But is that healthy? Should I suggest that…"

"No. He talks when he wants to and even though it's not healthy that he's constantly putting himself in harms way, it's what he does."

"So I should just come to accept the fact that the next time he steps through the Gate, could be his last?"

Looking away from him for a moment as her emotions start to flare, but reigning them in and looking back at him, "Mr. Woolsey, that's something you're gonna have to get used to, not just with John, but with every single team that steps through that Gate."

"How do you deal with it?"

Looking down at her watch, frowning, "look, I need to go. I've got an appointment. But, we can continue this conversation later this afternoon. I'd be happy to discuss it with you."

He seems a little stunned that she's cutting him off, but nodding, "yes, I believe that would be a good idea. Thank you Dr. Carter."

Nodding her head, she heads out for the transporter.

xxxx

She races to the mess hall and after grabbing her breakfast, she walks out onto the balcony to find Keller sitting with Teyla, who's holding Torren, McKay and Ronon. Pulling over a chair, "sorry Jen. Woolsey took a little longer then I thought."

Smiling, "that's okay. I was just filling them in on Sheppard's status."

Returning the smile and taking a sip of her coffee, "oh. Good."

Scanning her eyes over Lexi, noticing the ring on her finger, "I see Major Lorne was successful." Teyla says.

Taking a bite out of her apple, Lexi squirms as four pairs of eyes are now looking at her left hand, "what does she mean Major Lorne was successful?"

Swallowing and feeling the heat rise in her cheeks, "um yeah. He came by last night and convinced me to go see John." she says, and looking at Keller she smiles.

Finally catching on, "oh, you guys are back together. That's why you were with him last night."

Taking another sip of coffee, "mmm, hmm."

"Good, I'm glad. He was becoming insufferable."

"Rodney!" Teyla admonishes him and smiling at Lexi, bouncing Torren on her knee, "Lexi, we are very glad that you are back together."

"Doesn't mean he won't flirt with every skirt he sees." McKay says under his breath

Lexi glares at him, as Ronon punches him on the shoulder, "hey! What was that for?"

"Thanks Ronon."

Grinning, "no problem." and sitting up a little straighter, "so doc, will Sheppard be okay?"

"Yeah. He's gonna be fine, we caught it in time. Why don't you all go and keep an eye on him for me?"

"Really?" they all ask at the same time.

Rolling her eyes and smiling, "he's sedated, but yeah."

Lexi watches as they all agree to meet up in the infirmary in forty minutes and with "see you later" all around, they leave her and Keller sitting at the table.

"You know, it always amazes me how close those four are." Keller says, as she watches the three teammates walk out of the mess.

Looking at her, with raised eyebrows, "yeah, they certainly are. So, you've got yourself a bit of a triangle."

Keller's eyes dart back to her, "huh?"

Leaning forward, elbows on the table and ticking off on her fingers, "you, Ronon, Rodney. Triangle."

"How did you know about Ronon?"

Chuckling, "whenever he's around you, his demeanor changes."

"Lexi, I don't know what to do."

"Well, they're completely different and I'm not sure what help I'll be. But I'm willing to be a sounding board, if you want."

Running her fingers through her hair, "yeah, that would be great. Where should I start?"

Finishing her eggs, "why don't you list off what you like about each of them?"

"Okay, here it goes. Rodney is smart, funny, and good looking in his own way. Ronon is strong, good looking by the normal standard, kind, and would do anything for someone he cares about, but so would Rodney. Ugh, this is gonna be harder then I thought."

Smiling, "who'd you be more comfortable spending long periods of time with?"

Shaking her head, "both of them. But for different reasons."

"Look, you want a piece of friendly advice?"

Looking at her with a pleading eyes, "yes, please."

"Spend time with them and if they want to spend time with you, let them. The more time you spend with them, the easier it'll be to figure out who you like the most."

"But someone will get hurt."

"Yeah, but don't feel bad about it. It can't be avoided. So make the choice that's gonna make you happy."

Standing up, "thanks Lexi."

Standing up as well, "no problem. Oh hey, did you hear? Carson's gonna be back in a week."

They walk out of the mess, "yeah, I'm looking forward to seeing him. I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, I'll be by tonight."

They part ways and the rest of the afternoon passes without any trouble. Lexi has her conversation with Woolsey and as soon as she finishes talking with him, she heads for the infirmary, having showered and changed after going for a run, earlier in the day.

xxxx

Entering John's room, she smiles at the sight that greets her eyes. Ronon, Teyla and McKay are in their usual spots, bantering back and forth. She also notices that John's color has improved and smiling at the three of them, she takes a seat on the extra bed that's in the room, next to Ronon.

"He seems to be doing better. Do you think Jennifer will take him off of the vent tonight?"

Looking at the monitors, "no Rodney. She wants to keep him intubated for forty-eight hours. But, if he keeps improving like he is, she might do it tomorrow morning."

Typing away on his laptop, "how did he end up getting sick? I mean it's not like we've been off world that much lately."

Teyla and Ronon's eyes lock on Lexi, unsure of what to say. McKay looks up from his laptop and sees them staring at her, "what? Did I miss something?" he asks, worry edging into his voice.

Looking from them to him, "Rodney, you know how you woke up in the infirmary last night?"

Nodding his head, "yeah. Jennifer said that I was infected with a parasite that I picked up on M44-5Y9 and that she had to operate on me to get it out of my head. Why?"

Again, Teyla and Ronon look at her and seeing the pain in their eyes, "Rodney, we almost lost you and well, your teammates, Jen and I spent the past eighteen days worrying sick about you. But, John, well you know how he gets. He hardly left your side."

Horror crossing his face, "so this is my fault?"

"No McKay, it's not." Ronon says.

"But, because I was sick, he's sick and all because he's a stubborn bastard and won't take care of himself."

"Rodney, you had no control over what happened to you and we don't leave each other when things get tough. John, was simply doing what you have done plenty of times." Teyla tells him

The panic that started as just a little quiver in his voice is now threatening to bubble over completely. Seeing this, Lexi bolts off the bed and is crouching in front of him in seconds, taking all of them by surprise.

"Rodney look at me," she says, and waits for him to focus on her, "this is not you're fault. John was being John. We're his family and you know what he's like when we're threatened. He'll go to hell and back, to make sure we're safe. Don't blame yourself for this. Because Teyla's right, you've done and are doing the same thing right now, by sitting with him."

Considering all of it and starting to calm down, "okay, you're right. I know you're right, but still."

Taking his hand in hers and squeezing it gently, "look, he's gonna be fine. Jen caught it in time and is treating it with everything she's got."

Looking from her to Teyla and Ronon and back, eyebrows raised in confusion, "but how did he catch it?"

Smiling sadly, "he had a cold and because he didn't take care of himself, this happened."

Looking over at John, worry creased across his forehead, "he'll be okay, right?"

Standing up and looking down at him, "yes. He's gonna be right as rain as the saying goes."

Looking up at her, confusion still etched across his forehead, but a little less worry, "then how come Ronon and Teyla didn't get it?"

Shrugging, "I don't know, but I have an idea."

"I believe that even though Jennifer kicked us out of the infirmary a number of times, John still managed to sneak in to sit with you."

Nodding, "that's a possibility Teyla and it probably played a big part in it. But there was something else I had in mind and it has something to do with certain people not putting on a jacket or a pair of socks." Lexi says, as she walks over to sit down next to Ronon again.

As she sits down, Keller walks in, putting a stop to any further conversation and leaving McKay with a very confused look on his face, although it changes to a smile as soon as he hears her voice.

"So how's our patient?" Keller asks, as she comes over to check on John.

"I think you might be able to take him off the vent tomorrow morning." Lexi says, as she watches her.

Listening to his chest with her stethoscope and pulling it out from beneath his shirt, recovering him with the blanket, "I think you're right. But, how about all of you go and get a good night's sleep."

"Doc, do we have to?"

"Yes Ronon. But I'll radio you tomorrow once I have him off the vent and he's conscious."

Watching all of them leave the room and sliding off the bed, she scans John up and down. She steps over to his side and sits down on the edge of his bed, taking his right hand in hers and squeezing it, "you'd better get well soon John. I've got a present for you and Rodney and it's gonna be here in a week."

She smiles as she feels his fingers tighten around hers and leaning down she kisses him on the forehead. Straightening up, she slides off his bed and walks back to hers. Kicking off her sneakers and climbing into it, she covers herself with the blanket. She takes out her radio, placing it on the tray next to her bed and with one last look at him, she mentally dims the lights and head hitting the pillow, she is out like a light in seconds.

  



	29. Chapter 29

  


Feeling the pulls of consciousness tugging at him relentlessly, John tries to ignore it, but for some reason, his body seems to want to wake up now. The first thing that permeates the haze of fog that he was floating contentedly in, is the beep...beep...beep of the cardiac monitor. The next thing that registers, is the uncomfortable feeling that makes itself known as he shifts in the bed. He inwardly moans as it dawns on him that the thing he hates the most about being stuck in the infirmary is what is causing the feeling. Finally he realizes that there's a tube down his throat.

 

 _Wait, okay, panic time. Why do I have a tube down my throat?_  floats through the haze, the beeping of the cardiac monitor increasing in speed.

xxxx

Hearing the fast beeping of the monitor Lexi bolts awake and looking over at him, she realizes that he is starting to wake up. She runs out of the room and finds Keller asleep in her office.

Gently shaking her, "Jen, he's waking up."

They rush into the room, to find him shifting in the bed, his eyes closed, pain etched across his forehead, the beeping of the monitor ever increasing.

Keller rushes to the left side of the bed and as she reaches it, she sees Lexi reaching the other side, taking his right hand in hers. Seeing this, she smiles and pulls her stethoscope from around her neck. Inserting it in her ears, she leans down and lifts up his shirt. As she listens to his chest, "Colonel, calm down and open your eyes for me. You're safe."

Seeing the difficulty he is having, Lexi squeezes his hand, "John, open your eyes, come on."

Latching on to the sound of Lexi's voice, he starts to calm down a little, the beeping on the monitor signaling as much.

Noticing this, as she is scanning the monitors, having finished her manual check of his vitals, "Lexi, keep talking to him."

Nodding at her and focusing on him, "John, you're fine, but we need you to wake up now." and smiling as his eyes blearily blink open, focusing on her, "hey you."

Seeing him focusing on Lexi and knowing that he is bound to reach for the tube sooner rather than later, "Lexi, hold his hands down for me." Keller says, as she raises the head of the bed.

Shifting a little further back on the edge of the bed and taking his hands in hers, feeling him relaxing against her, "that's it John. Just relax and we'll have the tube out in no time."

He tries to nod his head, but instead he closes his eyes to try and stop the feeling of someone jack hammering through his scull.

Seeing him shut his eyes and feeling the heat radiating from him, "Jen, his temp."

"I know, one thing at a time. Now Colonel, I know your head's killing you, but open your eyes and we'll get that tube out." Keller says, as she reaches for the tube and seeing his eyes opening and focusing on her, "you know the drill. On the count of three breathe out as hard as you can."

Rolling his eyes at her,  _yeah, I know the drill all right_ , and he drifts a little until he hears her say, "okay, 1, 2, 3 and."

Breathing out as hard as he can, he coughs as the tube comes out and slumping against the pillows, it dawns on him that he now has a nasal cannula under his nose and his head is pounding with every beat of his heart, "wh..what?" he croaks out.

Smiling and grabbing a cup of ice chips off of the tray, "here John." Lexi says, as she slips a couple of chips into his mouth.

Sucking on the ice chips and smiling as the feeling of the cool liquid sliding down his throat, easing the dryness is like heaven, "what's…going on?"

"Colonel, you've got pneumonia."

Turning his head a little on the pillow, to look at Keller who is making notes on his chart on the computer by his bed, "but how?"

Looking at him from the computer, "Lexi, I'm gonna let you fill him in on that, while I go get something to bring his temp down."

"How'd I?"

Taking his hand in hers and stroking the back of it with her thumb, "well, you were being you."

"Ah, okay."

Locking eyes with him, "when was the last time you had a full nights sleep or a decent meal in the last eighteen days?"

Squirming uncomfortably under her gaze and trying to remember, "um."

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

"Lexi, I ah."

"John, the reason why you got sick is because your immune system was shot to hell. No sleep, little food, worrying, fighting off a cold and hanging around an alien source of radiation don't go hand in hand. So your body simply gave in."

"But...that...was..." he says, as his eyes start to close and the last thing he is aware of is, "don't fight it John, just sleep."

And listening to her, he lets sleep take him.

  


  
  
  
  



	30. Chapter 30

  


Watching John through out their conversation, Lexi doesn't miss the exhaustion asserting itself. Finally as his eyes slide shut all the way, "don't fight it John, just sleep."

Sliding off his bed, she reaches for her radio and putting it in her ear, "Dr. Carter to Maddy."

She turns around, as she hears Keller walking into the room and seeing that she's about to say something, she points to her ear and as Keller mouths "oh," Maddy's voice comes back over the radio.

"Go ahead Doctor."

"Can you bring me my tablet, I'm in the infirmary."

"Of course, I'll be there in a minute."

"Thank you. Carter out." and closing the link, she catches Keller leaning over and lifting John's top up, listening to his chest again, "how's it sound?"

Standing up, "sounds better. Still congested, but the antibiotics are doing their job."

Scanning her eyes over the monitors, frowning at the read outs and shaking her head, "I guess I should've stopped him."

"When?"

"The night they went out drinking."

"Lexi, what are you talking about?"

Sighing, "twelve days ago, oh wait, it would be thirteen now. Anyway, I went to go check up on him, cause I had a feeling."

"But, you weren't speaking to him."

"Yeah, well, I couldn't help it and I caught the two of them heading out of his quarters with a six pack."

"But why should you have stopped them?"

"Well not Rodney, so much, as he had given him his leather jacket. But..."

"But I...wasn't wearing...shoes or a jacket."

Startled by his voice, Lexi's eyes lock on his and seeing the guilt, pain and exhaustion warring in them, she turns her head to look at Keller. Seeing the unspoken request in her eyes and understanding that they need to be alone, she leaves the room.

Looking back down at him, she sees him watching her and running her fingers through his hair, "John, what is it?

Shifting a little in the bed and relaxing under her touch, "is he okay?"

"Rodney?"

"Mmm. Hmm." he says, his eyes sliding closed again.

Frowning, "yeah, he's good. Don't you remember bringing him home?"

Forcing his eyes open, "yes, I do. But you said that he didn't..."

The words hang in the air, as he falls asleep again. Chuckling, she leans over and brushes her lips against his and as she pulls away, "you saved him."

xxxx

One week later, Keller releases John from the infirmary. Standing next to his bed, taking the blood pressure cuff off his arm and looking from him to Lexi and back again, as she puts the cuff down on the tray that is next to her, "all right Colonel, I'm going to release you into Lexi's care, but under one condition."

Sighing, "let me guess. No duties till you clear me and do nothing but sleep and eat until you tell me otherwise. Right?"

Smiling, "that's right. You're still sick, whether you want to admit it or not. So I'm gonna say bed rest for at least two more days. We'll check you over on Tuesday and go from there."

Frowning, but starting to slide off the bed with Lexi's help, "okay. So can I get outta here now?"

Walking over to grab the wheel chair and smiling as she sees the frown deepen on his face at the sight of it, "come on John, you know the rules."

Sighing again, as he lets them help him sit down in it, "yeah, yeah."

Smiling at him and patting him on the shoulder, "let's get you into bed." and looking at Keller, "thanks Jen. We'll see you later."

As she wheels him out of the infirmary, he looks up at her, "you know Lexi, if it were anyone else saying that, I'd have slugged them across the face."

Chuckling, as she pushes him into the transporter, hitting the screen to take them to the crew quarters and rubbing his shoulders, she feels the tension melt out of them, "yeah, but that's one of the advantages of being your girlfriend." and pushing him out of the transporter, she smiles as she catches his eye roll.

As they reach her quarters, she starts to get a little worried as he hasn't said anything since before they got into the transporter, but stopping just outside the doors and coming around to look down at him, the knots of worry melt away as he looks up at her with a small smile, "you okay?"

Nodding his head, "yeah. Just thinking."

Looking around the corridor to make sure that no one is there and looking back down at him, "about?"

Also looking around to make sure they're alone, "oh, just stuff. So, whatcha got on tap for today?"

Swiping them into her quarters and wheeling him over to the bed, "I've got a crazy day of appointments." she says, as she pulls down the blankets and helps him into the bed, "but don't worry about being on your own. Your teammates are going to be taking shifts, keeping you company."

Pulling the blankets up to his chin and looking her in the eyes, "you can't get out of them?"

Catching the note of pleading in his voice, "no John, I really can't. Believe me, I'd rather spend the time with you. But, I've shuffled the schedule around so much this past week, that if I don't start taking my fair share of the appointments, we're gonna have a mutiny on our hands."

Laughing a little, "well we wouldn't want that, would we?" he says, and out of nowhere a jaw-cracking yawn escapes him.

Leaning in, she kisses him and pulling away, "I think someone is still tired." she says, and they turn their heads at the sound of the door chime going off. As she gets up, "go to sleep."

Reaching the doors, she swipes them open to find Teyla there, holding Torren, "good morning Lexi. I hope it is okay that I brought him."

Smiling at Torren and looking over her shoulder at John, smiling as his eyes are closed and turning her head back to Teyla, "it's fine, don't worry about it."

She steps aside and Teyla walks into the room. She follows her and walking over to the bed, whispering, "just make sure he remembers to take his pills." and as she reaches the bed, she leans down and kisses him on the forehead, smiling as his eyes open and lock on her.

Returning her smile, he feels Torren crawling on him. Propping himself up on the pillows he reaches out to tickle Torren and as Torren's fingers wrap around his, "hey there little guy."

Smile widening, "all right John, I'll see you when I get back. Be good."

Not looking at her, but, flying Torren through the air, "yeah. Love you."

Shaking her head in amusement and looking at Teyla, who is sitting on the couch, watching her son giggle crazily as he flies through the air, "love you too. Teyla, I'll see you later."

Smiling at Lexi, "don't worry Lexi, I'll take care of him."

Heading out the door, talking over her shoulder, "thanks." and with that she heads for her office, content that he is in good hands.

xxxx

Twelve hours later, after a very busy and tiring day, Lexi is in her last session of the day and her patient is Richard Woolsey, who is still having difficulty adjusting to life on Atlantis. But, she is having difficulty focusing on what he's saying, as her thoughts keep going back to John.

"Dr. Carter?"

Startling out of her thoughts, "oh, I'm sorry. I must've drifted there."

"Are you all right?'

"Yes. I'm fine. Please continue. You were saying you believe that Atlantis itself is unhappy with you being here."

"Yes."

"And why do you believe this?"

"Oh, little things. The first time I realized it was just after meeting with Dr. McKay, Teyla and Colonel Sheppard about trying to find a lead as to where Ronon might have been taken. The doors closed right after they left me in the conference room and when I tried to open them, they wouldn't. I had to have Amelia get Dr. Zelenka to come get me out."

Realizing as he's telling her this, that John and McKay must be having a little fun at his expense, and making a mental note to talk to them about it, "anything else?"

Sighing, "well, the lights in my quarters seem to come on all by themselves in the middle of the night."

"Have you had them looked at?"

"Yes. Dr. Zelenka checked and there is nothing wrong with them. Thus, the city itself must not like me."

Putting her hand up, "hang on a sec." and closing her eyes, she focuses her thoughts and there in the back of her mind is the hum that is Atlantis. She mentally sifts through the sounds until she finds the one that she wants. Opening her eyes and seeing the confused look on his face, "what's wrong?"

"What were you doing just then?"

Blushing, "I was listening to Atlantis."

"What do you mean you were listening to Atlantis?"

Smiling at him, "it's hard to explain. But just to let you know, she doesn't have it out for you."

"How can you tell?"

"Well, let's see how to explain it. Um...there's a hum, that if I close my eyes and listen for it, I can hear it. It's Atlantis. The ATA gene let's me hear it."

The confusion etched across his face deepens, "can everyone with the ATA gene hear this, ah, hum?"

Shaking her head, "no. The only other people I know of who can hear it are Colonel Sheppard, Dr. Beckett, Major Lorne and a few others."

"Why is that?"

Shrugging, "I don't know. But I spoke to Rodney about it and he surmised that it must be because we have the strongest pure ATA genes on base."

"So Atlantis is not out to get me?"

Laughing and standing up to walk him to the doors, "no, she's not. Now, if this continues to happen, please let me know and I'll see what I can do about it."

Walking next to her towards the doors, "how could you possibly stop it?"

Reaching the doors, "let's just say, I have a feeling I know who's behind it."

Anger radiating from him, "you mean that...who is it? Please tell me."

Placing a hand on his arm, "Mr. Woolsey, I won't tell you who it is. But don't worry about it and please, take this for what it is.

"And that is?"

"Just a friendly bit of hazing." she says, as he walks out of the office, leaving her in the doorway.

xxxx

A couple of seconds later, she's standing behind her desk and scrubbing her face tiredly with her hands, she melts into her chair. Opening up her appointment book on her tablet, she pages through it to see what her schedule looks like for tomorrow and lets out a low whistle, as she sees that she's in for another packed day. As her eyes come to rest on the clock on her desk, she reaches up to her temples with her fingers and starts rubbing them in circles. It's 2234 and she's been in appointments all day and somehow she missed dinner.

Standing up from her desk, she heads for the doors, eagerly looking forward to grabbing something to eat in the mess and then heading for her quarters. However, as she reaches the doors and they slide open, she stops short, "Teyla, what are you doing here?" she asks, as she steps aside to let her in and follows her over to the couch.

Sitting down on the couch and handing her a sandwich, "I thought we could talk and I figured that you would want something to eat."

Smiling and sitting down next to her, she opens the sandwich, "so what's on your mind?"

"John."

Spluttering, "why, did something happen?"

Frowning, "not really. But, I don't think he is getting better."

Sighing, "what do you mean?"

"He did nothing but sleep all day."

Leaning back against the couch, suddenly not very hungry anymore, she puts the sandwich down and looking at her, "Teyla, almost losing Rodney really shook him and the fact that he still feels exhausted as hell, probably isn't helping things."

Frowning even more, "Lexi, I think there is more to it than that. He seems different somehow. Will you talk to him?"

Smiling, "I'll try. But, you know how he is when it comes to talking about how he's feeling."

Nodding and standing up, "yes, I do. But please try. We are worried about him."

Walking with her to the door, "I will. Thanks for dinner."

Smiling, "of course, sleep well."

Watching her walk away, "you too."

Heading back into the office to grab her tablet and turning the lights off, she remembers that Beckett is due to arrive today and she needs to see him, as he has the presents for John and Rodney, "and maybe I can convince him to come see John." she says out loud, as she enters the transporter.

xxxx

Stepping out of it and turning right, she walks the few paces down to Beckett's quarters and coming to a stop at the doors, she swipes her hand over the door panel.

A few seconds later, "coming. Hold ye horses."

She chuckles and as the doors swoosh open, "welcome back!" she booms, as she draws him into a hug.

Hugging her back, "thank you love." and pushing her away to arms length, scanning her over, "you look tired, but it's a definite improvement over how you looked the last time I saw you."

Smiling and letting him guide her over to the couch, where they sit down, "thanks. How was the trip?"

Rolling his eyes, "oh, you know, long and utterly boring. But enough about that." and getting up, heading over to the dresser, "you're here for the toys." he says, as he picks up a bag and brings it over to her.

Taking the bag from him and looking in it, "Carson, you didn't have to wrap them. But thank you."

Sitting down next to her again, "ah, don't worry about wrapping the toys, gave me something to do. They have an R and a J on them, so that you'll be able to tell which one is which. So what have I missed while I've been gone?"

Eyeing him, "what do you mean?"

Frowning, "Lexi, Rodney emailed me and told me that you and John had broken up. But that was over two months ago. I'm assuming you're back together?"

"Yeah. We are."

Not missing the different emotions playing across her face, "well that's good. But what else is going on?"

She glances away from him for a moment, "how much of what happened to Rodney do you know about?

"I know that Keller had to operate on him in unsanitary conditions. No one would tell me much, even though Jeannie was with us on the first part of the trip. I asked to be allowed to gate back here with her, but the IOA said no, daft buggers." and seeing the small smile that curves her lips, but sensing the hesitation, "Lexi, please tell me what it is."

Nodding and trying her hardest not to let her feelings get the best of her, "I don't know where to start? Um no, I shouldn't start there, okay. A little over three and a half weeks ago, John and his team went to M44-5Y9 to check up on Dr. Nichols' team, at Mr. Woolsey's request. The doctor and his team were studying the effects of global warming on the planet and they set up camp at the foot of a massive glacier. Evidently an ice dam broke and flooded the entire valley, where the Stargate was situated..."

"Wait, so they walked into a freezing ocean of sorts?" he asks, concern lacing his voice.

"Yeah. They were able to get on top of the Gate and while Teyla, Ronon and Rodney waited on top of it, John swam down to the DHD and dialed back to let Mr. Woolsey know what had happened. He requested that a Jumper be sent to bring them back. It took over nine hours, but when they finally came back from the planet, Rodney was unconscious and unresponsive. Jen did everything she could to figure out why he'd passed out. But she couldn't find anything wrong with him and he woke up about forty minutes after they got back."

"Did John, Teyla or Ronon pass out?"

"No. They all got colds, though. But that plays into this later on. Over the next eighteen days, Rodney lost his mind. He reverted to a child like state and even though Jen did everything she could, she didn't have anything to treat it with. That is, until Ronon told everyone, including Jeannie about The Shrine of Talus. John, Teyla, Ronon, Jen and Jeannie flew him there and from what they were able to figure out, there was a type of radiation there that allowed them to operate on Rodney." and taking a deep breath, she tries to keep herself together.

Mulling over everything, "so, Rodney is fine?"

Smiling meekly, "yeah, I mean apart from the incision on his forehead from where Jen drilled." and eyebrows raising, "you haven't seen him yet?"

Shaking his head, "no. I just beamed down half an hour ago."

"Oh, well. Yes he's doing just fine. Thankfully he doesn't really remember what he went through. He knows that he got sick, but doesn't know how bad it really got."

"I bet John, Teyla and Ronon, never left his side, especially John."

Frowning and ringing her hands together, "yeah and because of it, he's been having one hell of a week."

"What do you mean?"

Rubbing her hands over her face and looking at him, "well, Mister I'm going to take care of everyone but myself, was an idiot. He didn't sleep that much, if at all during the time Rodney was sick and I doubt he ate well. So the cold that he had, instead of getting better, hung on and turned into pneumonia." and standing up, starting to pace, as the feelings of guilt that have been bugging her for the past week surface again, "maybe if I'd been with him, I could've gotten him to..."

Planting himself in her path, causing her to stop short, "Lexi, John being sick is not your fault."

Sitting down on the arm of the coffee chair and scrubbing her face again, "I know it's not my fault, but, now. Well, it's been a week and even though he's been fever free for the past 24 hours and Jen released him this morning, he's still not getting better."

Sitting down in the other coffee chair, "I wouldn't worry about it."

Sighing, "I know that he's still under the weather. But when Jen told him that he needed to stay in bed for two more days, he accepted it without a fight."

"He didn't complain?"

"No, in fact, Teyla just stopped by to tell me that he slept all day. Now if it were anyone other than John, I wouldn't be worried that he's been sleeping all week, but..."

"But it's John."

"Yeah." she says, and realizing that he knows how John is when he's sick, probably better than anyone, "you know, I trust Jen implicitly, but would you mind, ah..."

Smiling, "no love, of course. Lead the way."

Standing up and grabbing the bag with the gifts, they head out of his quarters for hers.

Reaching her quarters, she swipes them into the room and she frowns at the sight of John tossing and turning in the bed. But before she can take another step, Beckett is already at his side, leaning over him. She smiles to herself, as a feeling of comfort, that she has missed feeling, washes over her. Placing the bag in the closet, she walks over to the bed and climbing up onto the right side, she watches him checking over John.

  


  
  
  
  



	31. Chapter 31

  


As they walked into the room, Beckett noticed John tossing and turning in the bed, obviously in the throws of a nightmare. Realizing that Lexi had stopped dead in her tracks, he put on a burst of speed and hurried over to the bed.

Leaning over John, he smiles to himself, remembering all the times he had been in this exact position, trying to wake John up. Either after a life saving surgery or an illness or injury that he had failed to tell him about and with a gentle, but firm grip on his shoulder, "Colonel, come on lad, wake up."

 _Stuck in the back of the puddle Jumper with McKay, Ford and Teyla, "get this thing off of me!"_   _John screams in his dream, as the Iratus bug slowly saps his life away. The dream shifts to the events that just took place and he is sitting on the East pier with McKay and McKay_   _is asking him, "how about we say goodbye now?"_

Slowly but surely, his brain starts to register the feeling of a gentle but strong grip on his shoulder and a familiar accented voice,  _but where do I know that voice. It can't be Carson he's back on earth._  and then the part of his brain that realizes how tired he really is screams,  _no I don't want to wake up, leave me alone._

Frowning at the fact that he has yet to wake up, "son, open your eyes for me. You're safe and nothing's gonna hurt ye."

Hearing the voice again,  _it is Carson._  and forgetting the dreams he was just having, all of his senses start to sharpen. After what feels like a millennia, he screams at himself,  _oh, come on John, open your eyes_!

Smiling as John's eyes finally open and focus on him, "ah, there you are lad. How're you feeling?"

Propping himself up on the pillows, turning his head, he sees Lexi sitting next to him, her legs crossed in front of her, looking at him with a smile on her lips and rubbing his eyes with his right hand and looking back at Beckett, "Carson?"

Walking around the bed and pulling the desk chair up to the side of it, "aye, John. It's me."

Feeling his eyes starting to drift shut he shakes his head and rubs his eyes again. Taking his hand away, he sees them watching him and trying not to squirm under their gazes, "when did you get back?"

"This evening and don't think you're gonna weasel your way out of answering my question. How're you feeling?"

Running through the mental checklist,  _tired? Check. Hot? No, not really._  and looking Beckett in the eyes, "I'm fine, just tired."

"John."

Turning his head to look at Lexi and taking her hand in his, "Lexi, I'm fine, really."

Looking from him to Beckett, "is he?"

Nodding and taking his eyes off John and meeting hers, "aye, I believe he's just..." and trailing off, noticing that John has fallen back to sleep, he reaches for his wrist, "Lexi, do you have a thermometer?"

Climbing out of the bed and talking over her shoulder, "what's wrong with him?"

Waiting for her to walk out of the bathroom, "I don't think anything is wrong. His pulse is just a wee bit faster then I'd like."

Climbing back onto the bed, handing him the thermometer, "do you think he could be relapsing?"

Sticking the thermometer into John's ear, frowning a little, as he doesn't stir, "I don't know love. I doubt it." he says as he pulls the thermometer out of his ear, as it is beeping and looking down at it, "well, it is elevated, but not by much."

"Should we bring him down to the infirmary?" she asks, her eyes not meeting his, but focused on John.

Sighing, "no. We're not there yet. Let him sleep here tonight and check his temp in the morning. If it's still there, then we'll think about bringing him down."

"I just can't believe that he's been sleeping so much. I mean when he was sick, I can understand that, but."

"Lexi, from what you told me he didn't get much sleep when Rodney was sick. So he's just catching up on it now. I'm not worried about it and you shouldn't be either."

Looking at him, "but, he never sleeps this much, especially when he's recuperating. You know how difficult he is, playing escapee or just annoying the hell out of everyone, until he's cleared for duty."

Chuckling, "aye love, I remember. But maybe he's just learning to take advantage of the time off."

"But Carson."

Getting up and squeezing her shoulder, "Lexi, get some sleep." he says, and as he walks out of the room, he looks over his shoulder, "sleep tight, love."

Watching him walk out of her quarters and the doors closing behind him, it takes a couple of seconds for her to realize that she's been staring off into space. Sighing, she takes one more look at John and frowning to herself, she climbs out of the bed and heads into the bathroom to get ready for bed, as she really is exhausted from the day she just had.

Twenty minutes later, she walks out of the bathroom, mentally shutting off the lights. As she reaches the bed, she sees that John is sleeping on his left side. Climbing into it, she takes out her radio out and placing it on the bedside table, she swipes off the bedside light and cuddles up next to him, resting her right arm over his waist, her body flush to his. She feels the heat from his body and silently offering up a little prayer that his temp will stay down, she startles a little as she feels his fingers entwining with hers. Lifting her head up off the pillow, she kisses his neck and letting it slump back down on her pillow, she is asleep in seconds.

xxxx

The next thing Lexi is aware of is John thrashing next to her, nearly whacking her in the head as she tries to grab for his arms. Straddling his waist, she's able to pin them, "John, open your eyes." she says, and a couple of seconds later, as she sees his eyes slit open, "how're you feeling?"

"I'm...fine...let...go"

She releases his wrists and slides off him, to sit next to him on the bed and as she is crossing her legs, his hand reaches for hers and she lets him take it.

"What's wrong with you?" she blurts out and she blushes as red as she can at the look he fixes her with, fully awake.

"What...do you mean?"

"Well, something's gotta be bothering you, cause you're usually chomping at the bit to be put back on duty and well."

Not meeting her eyes, "nothing's wrong." and looking at her, "don't call Keller or Beckett."

"I wasn't going to call Jen or Carson and don't think you can fool me. I can still tell when something is bothering you."

He lets go of her hand and turns over on to his side and in a matter of seconds, his breathing evens out.

"Oh, John. I know that something's wrong. But I can't help you if you won't let me." she says, as she lies back down and falls back to sleep, as it's 0430 and she doesn't have to be up for another two hours.

Two hours later, the alarm goes off. Swatting it off and turning over onto her back, she listens to John's breathing. Sighing, she tosses the blankets off of herself and grabbing a new pair of underwear and a bra, she heads for the bathroom. Ten minutes later, she startles as the shower door opens and John steps in pulling her into him.

"I...thought...we...were...going…to...lose...him." he says, as he kisses his way up her neck to her mouth.

She pushes him away to arms length, running her hands up from his shoulders to his neck and back and as he pushes a piece of her hair behind her ear, "but we didn't lose him. You and Jen saved him."

"You said he doesn't remember most of it, right?" he asks, as he pulls her close to him again, kissing her and running his fingers over her back.

"Nope. He knows something happened, but not the details."

He turns off the water and steps out of the shower. She follows him out and wrapping them in towels, he dries her off and as he looks her in the eyes, she catches the fear, "John, he's okay and now we just have to make sure that you're okay."

Looking away from her, "I'm fine, just tired."

Grabbing his chin and forcing him to look at her, calling him on the fact that he's not being honest, "right and I'm a super model. You blame yourself for what happened and what's crazy about that is that unlike all the other things you blame yourself for, you really had no control over this one."

Pulling his chin out of her hand, "so what you're saying is that I'm to blame for all the other stuff."

Following him out into the room and watching him angrily pull on his boxers, sweat pants and a t-shirt, "no. That's not what I'm saying at all. You can't control everything and maybe, just maybe if you actually talked about it, you'd finally be able to put everything to bed, so to speak and you'd stop having the nightmares."

Sidestepping her, "I don't want to talk about it. There's nothing to talk about. I'm fine! Now just leave me alone, I'm going back to sleep."

Watching him get into the bed and pull the blankets over himself, she shakes her head in sadness as she sees his breathing even out. Worry and anger washing over her, she gets dressed and before heading out, she picks up the thermometer and gently sticking it in his ear, she frowns as he stirs a little, but doesn't wake up. As the beep sounds, she takes the thermometer out of his ear and releases a breath she hadn't realized she was holding, smiling at the fact that his temp is back to normal. Placing the thermometer back on the bedside table, she quietly walks over to her desk and picking up her tablet she heads out for the mess.

xxxx

Reaching the mess she grabs her breakfast and heads out onto the balcony, smiling the best that she can as she sees McKay, Teyla, Keller, Ronon and Beckett all waving her over to them.

As she reaches the table, Beckett gets up and holds out a chair for her, "Lexi, how's the Colonel doing?"

Before answering, she takes a sip of the protein shake that she drinks for breakfast every now and then.

Eyeing the shake with disgust, "Lexi how can you drink that stuff?" McKay asks, around bites of his cereal.

Swallowing and smirking, "I don't know, I guess I'm just used to it. Teyla, where's Torren?"

Smiling at her, "he is with Kanaan and you didn't answer Carson's question. How is John?"

Squirming a little, as everyone's eyes are now focused on her, "I don't know. His temp is back to normal." and focusing on Keller and Beckett, "look, I think waiting till his check tomorrow will be fine, he's just sleeping."

"A lot." McKay scoffs.

Lexi is about to say something, when Beckett shoots him a look, "Rodney, his immune system was compromised and sleeping is the best thing for him. From what Jennifer has told me the pneumonia was gone when she released him. He's just catching up on some much needed rest."

Getting up, "well guys, I've got to go. My first appointment is in ten minutes. Carson can I have a word." Lexi says.

Getting up and falling into step with her, "sure love."

As soon as they're out of earshot, she turns her head in his direction, "Carson..."

Smiling, "don't say another word. I'll stop by and check up on him and we're right to wait until tomorrow. But, you might have a valid point it's not like him. Do you think he could be depressed?"

Nodding, "I'm not really sure. I tried to talk to him this morning and as usual he's blaming himself for everything, but won't talk about it with me."

"Aye that's John for you. Never liked talking to Kate either."

"Well, he's talked about some stuff with me, but he's still having nightmares and Carson there are just so many."

Squeezing her shoulder, "I'm not surprised. What with everything he's been through."

Without even realizing it, they arrive at her office and as they come to a stop at the doors, she looks up at him, "it's just that almost losing Rodney was really hard on him. I don't know how much you know about his past, but let's just say that we're more of a family than he's ever had and well you know how tight knit the four of them are."

Smiling and placing a hand on her arm, "aye that I do. Don't worry your pretty head, we'll figure out what's going on with him, I promise."

Reaching for his hand and giving it a squeeze, "I'm so glad you're back in our neck of the woods. I'll see you later." and watching him walk off to the transporter, she smiles at him as the doors close. The day passes in a blur of appointments, scheduled and unscheduled as, Woolsey and Lorne stop by to chat and see how John is doing.

xxxx

By the time she gets back to her quarters, it's 2322 and after finding out from McKay that John only slept and ate again, the knot that has been building in her stomach since yesterday, twists so tight that she's afraid that it's going to tear.

Before heading into her quarters again, having spoken to McKay outside in the hallway, she radios Beckett.

"Dr. Carter to Dr. Beckett."

"Go ahead love."

"Carson, were you able to stop by to see John?"

"No I'm sorry. I got trapped in surgeries today. Everyone is fine, but it took all day. I'll be at his check tomorrow, though."

"I'm glad that everyone's fine, but he slept all day again."

"Lexi, let him sleep and we'll run some extra tests tomorrow. Now get some sleep."

Sighing and swiping the control panel to get into the quarters, "okay, thanks. Sleep tight Carson."

"You too love."

The radio link closed, she heads over to the dresser, not taking her eyes off of John, tossing and turning in the bed. She heads into the bathroom and gets ready for bed. Twenty minutes later, she heads into the room to find him bolting upright in the bed, shaking and looking around bleary eyed, "Lexi?"

Rushing to his side and placing her hands on his shoulders, "I'm here."

He pulls her into him and she can feel him shaking, burying his head in her shoulder.

"John, what is it?"

He doesn't say anything, he just holds her tight. She lets him hold her, rubbing his back and after a few minutes the shaking subsides and she feels his breathing even out, "John?"

Not getting a response and certain he's out again, she gently lies him back down on the pillows. But as she is about to scoot over to the table to turn off the bedside lamp, his hand tightens around her arm and looking down at him, her breath catches in her chest, as the look on his face, makes her heart ache. Sliding down next to him, he rolls over so that his head is resting on her chest and his left arm is draped over her stomach, "please don't leave me ever again."

Turning her head and kissing him on the forehead, "I won't, I promise."

"Good. Cause not being with you and then having to watch Rodney go through what he went through, I ah. I can't go through something like that again, he's..."

Hooking her finger under his chin and lifting his face up so that she can look at him, "he's your brother. I know. The three of them are the closest thing you have to a family."

Kissing her and pulling away, a smile crossing his lips, for what seems like the first time in days, "they are and you're part of that family too."

"I've missed that smile." she says, as he slides on top of her, leaning down and kissing her neck.

Capturing his lips with hers and feeling him gently lifting her off the mattress, "I've missed this too." she whispers and then she is pulling off his t-shirt, kissing her way up his chest.

She feels him pull her shirt off as well and before she knows it, their clothes are flying everywhere and they make love.

An hour later, she is lying contentedly in his arms, head resting on his chest, listening to his breathing. He fell asleep about five minutes after they finished making love, with a smile on his lips and knowing that she has another crazy day on tap, she falls asleep, too.

  



	32. Chapter 32

  


The alarm goes off at 0530 and inwardly groaning, Lexi swats it off and rolling over, panic engulfs her, as John isn't in the bed. Bolting upright and tossing the blankets off herself, "John?"

She rushes over to the bathroom, mentally bringing up the lights, as she gets to the door. Looking in the bathroom, the panic notches up another level as she can't find him anywhere and there's no note. Racing over to the bedside table, she picks up her radio and inserting it in her ear, "Dr. Carter to Control."

"Chuck here. What can I do for you Dr. Carter?"

"Can I have a secure line, please?"

"Sure thing...there you go, line's secure."

"Thanks Chuck." she waits for him to click off the line, "Lexi to Colonel Sheppard." and getting no answer, the worry only increases. Throwing on a pair of sweats, one of his hoodies and her sneakers, she heads out of her quarters for the East Pier. Figuring that it's the safest bet as to where he will be.

A few minutes later, she is stepping out of the transporter and walking out onto the pier. Smiling to herself, as he is sitting halfway down the pier, legs dangling over the edge watching the sun rise, wearing sneakers, sweats and a hoody as well.

"John." she says as she reaches him and he turns his head, a smile on his face. Sitting down next to him, "why didn't you answer when I radioed you?" she asks, as she slides her left arm through his right, taking his hand in hers.

Squeezing her hand and frowning, "I needed some time to think and I knew you'd figure out where I was."

Scanning him over, "how're you feeling?"

Looking away from her and sighing, "tired and I don't get it. I've been doing nothing but sleeping for the past week."

Chuckling, "yeah, but I'm not as surprised by that as I was."

Looking over at her, seeing her bitting her lip, "why not?"

"Because as Carson reminded me the other day, you were and are physically and emotionally spent." and bitting her lip again, "and I ah, I kind of owe you an apology."

"What do you have to apologize for?"

"I'm partially to blame for your current state." and seeing that he is about to protest, she leans in and kisses him, and pulling away, "I know that you're gonna say that I'm not, but I am. If I hadn't broken up with you."

Sighing and wrapping his right arm around her shoulders, "Lexi don't. Just don't go there."

Frowning and standing up, holding out her hand for him to take, "but John."

Taking her hand and letting her help him to his feet, "no. I won't hear it." and smirking at the glare she sends his way, "think of it this way. Even if we'd still been together, do you think there would've been anything you could've done to get me to take better care of myself?"

Sighing and wrapping her arm around his waist as they walk towards the entrance into the city, "no, probably not."

Swiping them into the city, smiling, "there that settles it then."

Matching the smile, as they head for the transporter and slowing her pace as she realizes that he's shuffeling his feet and is leaning on her a little more than he should, "you doin okay?"

Nodding as they reach the transporter, "yeah. Like I said, I'm just tired."

Swiping the door controls, "well, it shouldn't last much longer."

"So, do you think Keller will clear me today?" he asks, with a frown.

Smiling, "I don't know. But most likely she will."

"Really?" he asks, as they step into the transporter.

Getting out of the transporter, "yeah." and fixing him with a stern look, "oh, by the way, have you and Rodney been having some fun with Mr. Woolsey?"

Looking guilty as hell, "um, yeah. We were just playing around."

"Well, could you stop?"

Laughing, as they head into the infirmary, "I'll talk to Rodney."

"Good. Hey Carson." she says, as she sees him walking towards them, a smile on his face, "are you taking Jen's shift?"

"Aye. Colonel, how're you feeling?" he asks John, as he pats the gurney and moves the scanner over it.

Lying down, "I'm good doc."

Lexi catches the eye roll that he sends her way and laughs under her breath, as she comes to stand next to him at the screen attached to the scanner and quickly looking over her shoulder at John, she whispers, "Carson, he's still tired."

Focused on the monitor, "okay Colonel, you can sit up now." and turning to face her, "well, there's nothing showing up on the scan, except that his BP is a wee bit lower than it should be." and letting his eyes settle on John, who's sitting up, legs dangling and swinging over the edge, "has he eaten today?"

"No. I found him about ten minutes ago, out on the East pier."

"Has he talked with you?" he asks, his eyes coming to rest on her.

"Yeah, last night."

"So you're clearing him?"

"Yeah. He's given me as much as I'm gonna get from him. Why, you think we should keep him grounded for a little longer?"

"You know he can hear you."

They look over at John, who's staring at them, clearly annoyed.

Walking over to him, "aye Colonel, we know. I just want to draw some blood and then we'll go from there."

As Beckett heads off to grab the supplies to John's blood, Lexi sits down next to him on the gurney.

"Lexi?"

Turning her head to him, "what's up?"

"Are you really clearing me?"

"Yeah, I thought that's what you wanted?"

He looks her in the eyes and she can see the hesitation in them. However before he can answer, Beckett comes walking back over, needles, rubber band and vials in hand.

He reaches for her hand, as Beckett comes to a stop in front of them and seeing him do this, "come now John, it's just a stick. You've had plenty of them."

She watches as he sticks John on the first try and sees him fill two vials. She feels John's hand tightening around hers and shifting her eyes to him, they go wide with shock. All the color is gone from his face, "Carson, stop!"

He looks up at her and then at John, "bloody hell!" he shouts, as John starts to pitch forward off the gurney. She hops off it, letting go of his hand and races around to the other side, as Beckett grabs him by the shoulders and gently guides him back onto the gurney.

"What's going on?"

Looking over her shoulder, "Marie, bring me an IV with glucose and a cup of orange juice."

Turning her head to look behind her, she sees Marie running off to get the requested items. Refocusing on him, she sees him fitting a nasal cannula under John's nose, "Carson?"

He looks up at her, as he takes John's pulse, "Lexi, he's fine. His blood sugar is low and coupled with the low BP, he just passed out. He should be coming around soon."

Her eyes flick from him to John and back, as she hears Marie come back in with the IV and juice, "so I know what the juice is for, but what about the IV?"

Sighing, as he inserts the IV and hanging it up, "I want to bring his BP and blood sugar up at the same time. The juice will bring up his blood sugar quickly, but I want it to stay up. I'm gonna have some food brought up for him as well and while we're waiting, I'll run his blood work."

Moving from John's side to Lexi's, reaching up and gently squeezing her shoulder, "stay here love and don't worry and if nothing shows up on the blood work, I'll clear him."

With one more squeeze to her shoulder and a smile, he leaves her with John. Her gaze lingers on Beckett, as he walks deeper into the infirmary. A low moan coming from John brings her attention back to him and looking down at him, she sees his eyes fluttering open.

Pushing himself up in the bed, "Lexi, what happened?" he asks, as he pulls off the nasal cannula.

Sitting on the edge of his bed and putting the nasal cannula back on his face, "leave that on. Carson put it on you for a reason."

Scowling at her, but leaning his head back against the pillow, "fine. Now, I'll ask again, what happened?"

Taking his hand in hers, "you passed out."

Raising and eyebrow, "so that would be why I have the IV?"

"Yes. It's one of the reasons." and reaching for the juice, "here, drink this." she says, as she hands him the cup and seeing him eye it apprehensively, "it's just orange juice."

He gulps it down and hands the cup back to her, "so, am I cleared?"

"We're just waiting for your blood work to come back and Carson said if nothing shows up then, yes." and again she catches the uncertainty in his eyes, "what's wrong?"

His eyes lock on hers, "what if I can't protect them or you?"

Looking around the infirmary, positive that no one is around, she pulls him into a hug and feeling him relax into her arms, his chin resting on her shoulder, and hers on his, "you do your best and you just have to have faith that everything will work out for the best."

His grip tightens on her, "but what if..."

Pushing him away from her and looking him in the eyes she's truly surprised at the fear that she sees in them, "John, what's got you doubting yourself like this?" she asks, already having some idea of what the answer will be.

Looking away from her and back, "watching Rodney go through what he went through and not being able to do anything, it made me feel..." and scrubbing his face with his hands, he slumps against the pillow staring at her.

"Helpless?" she offers.

Nodding, "yeah and I've been trying to figure out how I could've stopped it from happening. Maybe, if I'd agreed with Woolsey to send a MALP first..."

Taking his chin in her hand, "John, listen to me and pay attention okay?"

Pulling his chin out of her grasp, "okay."

"You can't control everything. There was no way for you to know that the ice damn would break and that the parasite would be in the water. You also couldn't have known that Rodney would be infected. It could have been any of you."

"But..."

"No and I know what you're gonna say. You have to stop blaming yourself for everything, especially things you have no control over. Rodney doesn't blame you for it and no one else does either."

Glancing away from her, "I don't blame myself for everything."

"Aye lad, you do." Beckett says, as he startles the two of them and coming to stand next to John, placing a hand on his shoulder, "John, you and Elizabeth were the same in that regard. Always worrying yourselves sick over things that you couldn't control and that's exactly what happened here. You were so concerned with taking care of Rodney and everyone else that you forgot to take care of yourself."

"But Carson, it's not..."

"No son, Lexi's right. You have to take better care of yourself. We need you here and in good health. So for everyone's sake, including your own, stop worrying about things that you can't bloody well control and remember that there are people here who care for you."

Blushing and locking eyes with him, "so am I good to go?"

Rolling his eyes, but smiling, "aye, you're all clear. But, I want you to stay here until that IV is done and you've eaten the tray of food that should be arriving soon. Lexi a word, please."

Smiling at John, who smiles back, she follows Beckett into Keller's office, "Carson, is everything okay?"

Leaning against the desk, arms crossed across his chest, "aye love. Everything's fine. His blood work came back normal. As to him still being tired, there's no physical reason for it. I think it's just mental."

"Rodney! That's for John."

They sprint out of the office to find John surrounded by his teammates and Ronon handing him a tray piled with pancakes, eggs, a fruit bowl and a milk carton, which was in McKay's grasp, but hit the tray, as Teyla yelled at him for trying to take it.

Shooting Lexi an eye roll and a smile, Beckett leaves her to deal with the four teammates, while he goes off to check on the few other patients that are in the infirmary.

"Good morning guys."

"Morning Lexi." McKay greets her sourly, as he's now eyeing the milk that John is drinking, a large smile on his face.

"So, is he cleared for duty?"

Coming to stand next to Teyla and looking at all of them, "yes, Ronon. He's cleared for off world duty." and at the questioning look on his face, "and sparring."

xxxx

A few hours later, IV fully drained, breakfast eaten and after making plans for a briefing with Woolsey and his team for an off world mission for the following day, John and Lexi are walking back to her quarters, to shower and change.

As they walk into the room, "John, I have something to give you."

Turning to face her, curiosity and smile playing on his face, "what is it?"

Walking over to the closet, taking out the bag and motioning for him to take a seat on the couch, "I had Carson buy these for me." and handing him the bag, "there's a J on yours and an R on Rodney's. But you can open both of them and pick which one you want and give the other one to him."

Pulling the boxes out of the bag, ripping them open, he smiles wide at the sight of the toy cars. Putting them down on the coffee table, he wraps her in his arms, kissing her hard.

Pulling away from him breathless, "I take it you like them?"

"They're great. What made you get them?"

"Well, I used to race them with my brother and I figured that you guys would be able to find new and exciting ways to play with them. You really like them?"

"Yes, I love them and I'm gonna cream McKay. But we need to have a race first. Tonight, East pier, hallway four b, 2000?"

Smiling, standing up and holding out her hand, "sounds good. Shower?"

Taking her hand, "yes and Lexi, thanks."

Leading him into the bathroom, "for what?"

Pulling her into him and kissing her again, "for forgiving me and for just being you."

Running her fingers through the hair at the base of his neck, looking him in the eyes and shrugging, "hey, I love you."

"Love you too." he says, as they get undressed and step into the shower.

Forty minutes later, they kiss good-bye and head in opposite directions. John for the ready room to catch up with the troops and Lorne and Lexi for her office as she has another crazy day. Which seems to be a more common occurrence of late.

That night, she thoroughly beats him at car racing, after which they head back to her quarters and make love again. Falling asleep in each other's arms, thankful that they had all dodged another bullet. But as usual nothing wonderful ever lasts for very long in the Pegasus galaxy.

 

 

  



	33. Chapter 33

  


Sitting in her office, Lexi is running over some last minute details for the surprise party she is throwing for John that night. She would have thrown it in January on his actual birthday but as usual life in the Pegasus galaxy stepped in. So instead, she had to wait and realizing that the expedition had had a rough couple of months, the idea to throw the party now had popped into her head, a couple of days after John had been cleared for active duty. So after getting Woolsey's permission, she started planning.

"And a party is always a great excuse to have some fun." she says out loud as she makes the last adjustments to the menu and emails it to the kitchen staff.

Smiling to herself, she pulls up her appointment calendar on her tablet to see when her next appointment is and getting lost in her thoughts, she startles as the door chime goes off.

"Come in." she shouts, not looking up from the tablet.

"Lexi love, how go the plans?"

Looking up and smiling at Beckett as he takes a seat across from her, "all done, actually. I just sent the final menu off." and taking one look at the expression on his face, "Carson, what's wrong?"

Shifting in his seat under her gaze, "um, well, Colonel Sheppard and I are heading off world."

Sighing, "why? I thought you weren't heading out until tomorrow."

Meeting her gaze, "aye love, I was. But Major Teldy and her team found another of Michael's labs and requested that I take a look."

"And of course, John is going with you." she says, running her hands through her hair and opening up an email, "okay, I'll reschedule the party."

Standing up, "sorry love. But look on the bright side."

Smiling and sending off the email, "yeah, at least we still get to have it."

Walking to the door, "aye. We should be back by tonight, but you know."

Nodding, "yeah. Be careful and try to keep out of trouble."

Smiling over his shoulder, "we'll try."

Watching him leave her office, she refocuses on her tablet and sends out the revised party invites The rest of the day passes by in a haze of appointments, which she uses as a welcome distraction as the feeling of dread that twists her stomach into knots when John is off world, tries to derail her concentration.

xxxx

That night, as she is sitting in the mess hall having dinner and editing the duty schedule for her department, she is surprised when Lorne melts into the chair opposite her, food tray in hand and wearing a grim expression.

"Hey Lexibeth."

Looking up from her tablet, annoyed, "Evan, what have I..." she trails off, her voice softening and concern inching in, seeing his expression, "you haven't heard from John and Carson."

Sighing and taking a bite of his sandwich, "no. They missed their check in."

Frowning, "is Woolsey sending out a search party?"

Tiredly scrubbing his face, "no, not yet. He has a team on stand bye, though."

Nodding, she refocuses on her tablet and they sit quietly for a couple of minutes. A couple of minutes later, hearing his sigh she looks up at him and scanning him over she notices how beat he looks, "long mission?"

Chuckling, "you could say that. Forty eight hours of scientist sitting duty."

"Ah. Yeah, that'd do it." she says, and getting up from the table, "you feel up to a movie?"

Smiling, standing up and falling in to step next to her, "yeah. What movie?"

"Oh I don't know. I'm sure we can pick one. Rec room or my quarters?"

"Rec room. I'll meet you there in thirty. I just want to change."

"Okay."

xxxx

Thirty minutes later, Lorne walks into the rec room to find Lexi sitting on one of the couches, legs curled up under her, teacup in hand, "what movie did you choose?" he asks her, sitting down.

Smiling wide and putting the cup down on the side table, " _Wedding Crashers_. I thought, we could use a laugh and I know you love it."

Wrapping his right arm around her shoulders, squeezing and smiling back, "thanks Lexi. I know you don't like it."

"I don't mind it, that much." she says and hitting the play button, "besides, I do crack up when I see it and right now, I need something to take my mind off of a certain someone."

"Yeah, I totally understand." he says, and allowing curiosity to get the better of him, "I know this sounds silly. But do you think Jamie feels the same when I go off world?"

Turning her head to look at him, smiling, "Evan, she's not the only one."

Slouching down on the couch and blushing red, "thanks."

Fifteen minutes into the movie, he takes a pillow and placing it on her lap, he lies down on his right side. She rests her left arm on the back of the couch and running her right hand through his hair, a couple of times, she smiles as she feels him relaxing against her. Throughout the film, other people come and go, some staying to watch the movie, or play a game of chess.

However, as the film ends, she looks around the room to see that they are the only occupants and looking down at him, she smiles at the sight of him fast asleep, "and I thought I was tired." she says under her breath.

Leaning over and gently shaking him, "Evan, wake up. Movie's over."

Waking up and blearily looking up at her, "wh..what?"

"You slept through most of the movie."

Sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes, "wow, I guess I was more wiped then I thought."

Getting up from the couch, walking over to the DVD player and taking the disc out, "well, I'm sure your bed is more comfortable than the couch."

Standing up and stretching, "it certainly is." and catching the look of worry crossing her face, he walks over to her and takes her hand in his, "hey, first thing in the morning if they're not back, I'll get Ronon and Teyla and we'll head out to look for them. With or without Woolsey's permission."

Sighing, "it's just that I can't fight this feeling that something went wrong."

Squeezing her hand and pulling her towards the doors, "Sheppard can take care of himself and everyone else and hey, if he did manage to get hurt, he's got two doctors with him."

Falling into step next to him and smirking, "yeah, I guess."

Changing the subject as they get in the transporter, "so how're the plans for the party?"

Getting out of the transporter, "well, I was able to rearrange everything. It wasn't easy, but it actually works out better this way."

Stopping in front of her quarters, "he's not gonna be happy with you using him as the reason for the party."

Swiping the control panel and smiling, "well if life here weren't so crazy we could have done it a long time ago and he can be as mad at me as he wants. We all need this." and pulling him into a hug, "thanks for walking me back."

Hugging her back and pulling away, "no problem and don't worry about Sheppard and the rest of them. I'm sure they're fine."

"I know. Now go get some sleep and I'll see you in the morning."

Heading off to his quarters and waving over his shoulder, "will do. Sleep tight."

Watching him go, "you too." and watching him until he's out of sight, she turns and heads into her quarters, the doors closing behind her. Walking over to the DVD rack and putting away the DVD, she heads over to the bathroom and gets ready for bed. Fifteen minutes later, climbing into bed, she takes out her radio, placing it on the bedside table.

Swiping the light off, she snuggles under the blankets, "please come home John." she says out loud and head hitting the pillow, she's asleep in seconds.

xxxx

Some time later, feeling movement next to her, Lexi turns over and peels open her eyes, blinking them a couple of times, "John?"

Startling a little and looking down at her, "sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

Smiling up at him, "it's okay." she says, and pulling him down to her, wrapping her arms around him, not missing how he takes in a deep breath, as she does so, "you all right?"

Relaxing in her arms and sighing, "yeah, I'm fine."

Happy that it's dark in the room, so he won't see the eye roll, "oh, all right. I'm glad you're home."

"Me...too." he mumbles, as his eyes close.

Feeling him fall asleep and taking a look at the clock on the bedside table, she sighs, knowing that he's probably going to get up and go for a run. She also knows that the only way he'll actually stay in bed and sleep is if she grounds him and with that thought she falls back to sleep.

  


  
  
  
  



	34. Chapter 34

  


The alarm goes off at 0630 and turning over, Lexi swats it off quickly. Turning over onto her left side, she runs her eyes over John, who is sleeping on his stomach, head buried in the pillows. Watching him sleep for a couple of minutes, she smiles to herself and quietly climbing out of the bed, she heads into the bathroom, changing into her workout clothes. After brushing her teeth, relieving herself, washing her hands and putting on her deodorant, she heads back into her quarters and after sliding into her sneakers, she walks over to her desk and emails Lorne and Woolsey, letting them know that John is grounded for the day.

An hour and a half later, she and Ronon are walking into the mess hall, to be greeted by Teyla, who's bouncing a very cranky Torren on her knee, McKay and Keller. After grabbing their respective breakfasts, they join the others at the table.

"How was the run?" Teyla asks, as they sit down.

Scooping food into his mouth and scowling, "she almost beat me."

Taking a sip of her coffee and smiling at him, "Ronon, you're still the best runner I've ever run against."

"Losing your speed there, big guy?" McKay asks smirking.

Glaring at him, "no."

Changing the subject quickly, "Lexi, is it true that John and Carson got back very late last night?"

"Yeah, Teyla. John showed up in my quarters sometime after three. I grounded him for the day."

"He won't be happy about that, but good idea. From what Dr. Cole told me, the whole team took a pretty good beating out there. They lost Captain Vega." Keller says around bites of her breakfast.

"Oh, that's horrible." McKay says and as everyone looks at him, "what? All I'm saying, is it's a shame when we lose someone."

Lexi doesn't miss the fact that as he is speaking his eyes are focused on Keller. The five of them finish off their breakfasts and after "see you later" all around, Lexi heads back to her quarters, to shower and change for work. Swiping her way into her quarters, she's shocked at the sight that meets her eyes.

"Oh my g-d John! What happened yesterday?" she asks, as she's strides over to his side.

Standing at the dresser, in his boxers, gingerly pulling on his t-shirt and turning to face her, a grimace on his face, "it's nothing. Just got knocked around a little."

Rolling her eyes, "nothing? You can hardly move." and pulling him gently over to the bed, helping him sit down, "what are you doing up?"

Looking up at her, "I couldn't sleep and I've got reports that need filing."

Pointing at his side of the bed, "no you don't. I grounded you for the day, so get your butt back in bed."

Scowling at her, "what did I tell you about doing that?"

Returning the scowl, "yeah, well. I remember telling you that I would ground you if you needed it."

Standing up fast and glaring down at her, "I don't need to be grounded! Now clear me."

Leaning in close to him, so that they're inches apart, "no. I won't clear you till tomorrow." and seeing the anger flash in his eyes, "and don't think you scare me John. You couldn't scare a mouse right now."

"Oh, come on Lexi, I'm fine." he says, going for the puppy dog eyes.

Not buying the innocent tact, "don't you give me that look, you know it doesn't work on me. Now will you get into bed or do I have to knock you out?"

Realizing that he's not going to win this one, "fine! You're worse then Keller. You know that?" he says angrily, as he climbs stiffly into the bed and throwing the blankets over himself, slumping against the pillows, "happy?"

Smiling, "yes and you can be angry at me. But I've a feeling that you won't be for long."

Watching her crawl onto the bed, seductively, "what do you me..." he trails off as she straddles him and captures his lips with hers. He kisses her back, cupping her face in his hands and as she gently pulls his shirt off, he slumps against the pillows. As he does so, she tosses his shirt on the floor and traces her lips over his chest and stomach.

He smiles as he feels her lips ghosting their way up to his collar bone and as she catches him in just the right spot, he lets out a moan of content.

Hearing the moan, she pulls back and looking at him, "you okay?"

Opening his eyes and grinning, "never better. Just a little sore."

Climbing off of him, "maybe we shouldn't do this. I mean you are pretty banged up."

Pulling her back to him, "are you kidding me?" and slowly flipping her over, so she's on her back, with him on top, "I wouldn't miss a chance to make love to you, even if the Wraith were knocking down the door." and pulling off her sports bra, he kisses his way up to her neck. Smiling through the kisses, he feels her fingers digging into his back, as he lifts her up off of the mattress.

An hour later, completely relaxed and content, John is lying on his back, eyes closed and dozing and Lexi is curled up next to him, tracing her fingers over his stomach.

"You were right." he says.

"About what?"

Opening his eyes and pulling her into his arms, "about grounding me. It's just you know."

"Shh, I know. Go back to sleep. I'm not that busy today, I should be back around 1500."

Smiling and closing his eyes, "movie night?"

"Sure and if you're hungry, there's stuff in the fridge." she says, as she gets out of the bed. But looking back at him, she realizes that he hasn't heard a word she just said, as he's fast asleep.

Chuckling to herself, as she heads over to grab a change of clothes, "yeah and who said they couldn't sleep?"

Forty minutes later, showered and changed, she is heading to her office for her first appointment of the day.

xxxx

Seven hours later, Lexi is sitting in her office, staring at her watch and not really listening to McKay, who's pacing back and forth in front of her. The early afternoon she'd been expecting, having gone by the way side the moment he stepped in her office two hours ago.

"Colonel Sheppard to Dr. Carter."

Smiling and silently thanking her lucky stars that John's timing is as good as usual, she taps her radio and whispering into it, "go ahead John."

"Lexi, where are you? You were supposed to be back here two hours ago and why are you whispering?"

Sighing, "I'm in session with Rodney and he's on one of his rants."

Laughing, "say no more. You think you'll be getting out of there any time soon?"

Smiling wide and tracking McKay with her eyes, as he's still pacing back and forth, rambling, "I don't know." and slipping into doctor mode, even though she doesn't mean to, "did you sleep?"

"Yeah, like a log." he says, with a smile in his voice.

Chuckling softly, "good. You want me to stop by the mess to pick up some food?"

"Nope, got it all taken care of. Just get here as soon as you can."

Sighing, "I'll try." and with that she shuts the radio link and focusing on McKay, who's still ranting and pacing, "Rodney?" she waits until he stops and focuses on her, his eyebrows furrowing, upset at being interrupted, "I know that you love her, but telling me instead of her, is not going to do anything to help your cause."

Coming to sit down across from her and running his hands through his hair, "I did tell her. It's one of the few things I remember from when I was sick. And now..."

"And now it's a little awkward for you, when you're together."

"Yeah and on top of it, Ronon likes her too and I'm afraid that she's gonna pick him over me."

Nodding and looking at him, sympathy in her eyes, "the best advice I can give you, is fight for her."

Staring at her shocked, "wait, let me get this straight. You're suggesting that I fight Ronon for her?"

Smiling and shaking her head, "no, not physically. Spend time with her and court her. Let her know that you're not backing down and that she means a lot to you."

"How do I do that?" he asks, uncertainty lacing his voice.

"Well, you could go on a date with her. Or do stuff that she likes to do."

"So, learning some medical lingo would be a good idea?"

Getting up and gesturing to the doors, "yeah that would work. Also, I wouldn't be too concerned with the differences between you and Ronon. I've a feeling, that she likes you more."

Turning and raising his eyebrows as high as they'll go, "really?"

Smiling, "yes. Now promise you won't say anything."

Nodding and heading off for the transporter, a bounce in his step, "I promise. Thanks Lexi, see you later."

Chuckling under her breath, "no problem." and watching him disappear from sight, she heads back into her office. Taking a seat at her desk, she makes some notes on her tablet, checks her email and satisfied that everything is in order, she heads out for her quarters.

As she reaches them, she is surprised to find a note on the doors. Coming to a stop, she reads out loud, "Lexi, swipe the door chime and I'll come and answer. -John"

Smiling wide, she swipes the door chime and a few seconds later he is standing at them, dressed in a pair of dark denim jeans and a light blue button down shirt, open at the top, showing off the chain of his dog tags and a little of his chest hair. He pulls her into him, mentally shutting the doors and after kissing her hard, he takes her hand and guides her into the room.

"John, what's going on?" she asks, as she sits down on the couch.

Walking over to the desk and picking up two covered plates, he brings them back over to the couch and hands one of them to her, "special dinner." and sitting down next to her, seeing the look of apprehension on her face, "just uncover it."

Lifting the cover, "oh my g-d! How..." she trails off, uncovering the plate and looking at him, a huge smile on her lips, "how did you convince the kitchen staff to make them?"

Smiling at her through bites of his own, "I have my...ways. Dig in."

"I haven't had a good hamburger in ages." and taking a bite, "this is amazing." she says, her mouth full.

Forty-five minutes later, completely full, they're sitting on the couch, watching a movie. Lexi, with her legs curled up under her and John's arm around her shoulders, a blanket draped over them.

Halfway through the movie, he looks over at her and laughs out loud.

Looking at him, pouting, "what? You know I get into them."

Smiling and pulling her back to him, "I know. It's just so cute."

Sighing and playfully pushing him, "like you don't get into them?"

Scowling at her, but pulling her even closer, "I don't get into them like you do." he says and then he's kissing her and they move from the couch to the bed, the movie completely forgotten. A few hours later, lying in her arms, he falls asleep a smile on his lips. She watches him sleep for a few minutes, smiling to herself that he actually seems content and resting her head on his chest she falls asleep too.

  


  
  
  
  



	35. Chapter 35

  


_John is in his mother's hospital room. He doesn't know how he got there, but he sees himself sitting on her bed and watches with fear and an aching heart as the scene unfolds._

" _Johnny, be brave for...me."_

" _But mom."_

 _Embracing him, "honey, I'm sorry...I love...you."_

 _Watching his mother release him and slump lifeless against the pillows, but not letting go of her, crying into her shoulder, "I...love...you...too and...I will, I promise."_

 _Just as he realizes that he can't stand to watch anymore, the dream changes to about eleven years later. He watches as his twenty-four-year-old self-storms out of the den in his father's house._

" _I don't care what you say dad. I'm going and that's it. I want to fly."_

 _Stomach twisting in knots, he hears and sees his father follow his younger self out of the den and into the hallway, pointing a finger at him and wearing that look that he always seemed to wear when talking to him, "you are not joining the Air Force. You're going to join the company, I've had these plans for you for a very long time."_

 _Grabbing the keys to his car and yanking open the front door, "sorry dad, I'm going. I've already accepted the offer and I leave right after graduation, with or without your blessing. You and Dave can run your little empire as you see fit, I want nothing to do with it or you!" and as he watches his younger self slamming the door shut, the dream changes again and he starts to feel nauseous. As the swirling mist surrounding him starts to settle again, depositing him in the apartment he shared with Nancy he takes a deep breath, as he knows what is coming._

" _John, why is it that no matter how hard I try to spend time with you, you just never want to spend time with me?"_

" _It's not that I don't want to spend time with you, it's just, well..."_

 _Crossing her arms across her chest and scowling, "no! You prefer to be out there doing g-d knows what and you expect me to just sit here and wait at home like a good little wife. I'm sorry, I won't do it anymore, I want a divorce."_

 _Stepping up close to her and trying to pull her to him, "but Nanc..."_

 _Slapping him across the face and storming out of the room, "no John! We're done, get the hell out of here."_

 _Face stinging, the dream dissolves again, this time leaving him feeling like he just went through a dryer. Getting his bearings, he realizes that he is now watching the scene of his failed rescue attempt in Afghanistan and after that he's in Antarctica and then he is watching his first off world mission. Gut twisting, he tries to wake himself up so he won't have to watch himself killing Colonel Sumner. The dreams speed up and he's forced to watch them in glimpses, the Iratus bug attaching itself to his neck, killing the Genii soldiers during Kolya's failed attempt of taking the city, flying the nuke into the Wraith ship, losing Ford, not once but twice, flying the 302 near the sun to kill the Wraith virus, nearly turning into a bug, Michael, The Replicators, being fed upon by Todd, the Replicators again, losing Carson, losing Elizabeth, nearly losing McKay and Lexi and the night of the living dead creatures are the last thing that he sees in his dreams._

At this point he bolts up shaking and sweating. Looking around the room, he sees the light filtering in through the curtains. Rubbing his hands over his face, not able to shake the lingering fear left from the dreams, he startles as he feels Lexi sitting up, wrapping her hand around his back and leaning her chin on his shoulder, "bad dreams?" she asks.

Nodding and taking his hands away from his face, he lies down and as she lies down next to him, "great way to start off the day." he says, sarcasm lacing every word.

Looking up at him, resting her chin on his chest, "I'm here if you want to, you know."

Smiling, "I know. But, I'm good. I could go for a run, though."

Returning the smile, "sure. But first." she says, as she gets out of the bed and walks over to the closet. Opening it, she takes out a box from behind the sweaters and comes back over to the bed. Climbing back onto it, she sits down facing him, crossing her legs in front of her and holding out the box, "happy belated birthday."

"I thought I said no birthday presents."

"I know, but I couldn't help it. The cars were for fun and not just for you. Also, we never really got to celebrate. Open it."

Smiling, he tears open the wrapping paper to reveal a cardboard box with a Santa Monica surf shop logo on it and eyeing the box, "did you get me sex wax?"

Chuckling, "no, it's not sex wax. In fact it's nothing you can use on your board. I just used the box."

Opening the box, "um, I already have a few of these."

"I know. This is one of them. But I ah, I made a little change to the inside of it. I hope you don't mind."

Taking the black wristband out of the box and looking at the inside of it, "Lexi, why did you do this?"

Shrugging, "I thought it'd be a good way to remember them."

Smiling and looking up at her, "it's a great way to do that. It's just that, well."

Leaning in to kiss him and pulling away, "John, I know that you don't need help in remembering your failures, as you call them. But this is the best way I could think of to help you remember the ones you have saved."

Slipping on the wristband and pulling her into his arms, kissing her, "thank...you."

Smiling through the kisses, "you're...welcome." and pulling away, "you're really okay with it?"

Taking her face in his hands, kissing her one more time and sitting back against the pillows, "yes. I'm really okay with it." and watching her as she climbs out of the bed, "so, now are you good for a run?"

Smiling and quirking an eyebrow at him, "how long have you known me?"

Getting stiffly out of bed, "good point."

Seeing him moving slowly, "are you sure you're good for a run?"

Coming up to her at the dresser and pulling out his clothes, "yeah. It's nothing a couple of Motrin won't cure."

Rolling her eyes, "you're something else you know that?"

Wiggling his eyebrows at her, as they walk into the bathroom, "I know."

They change and ten minutes later they are running the long route around the city.

xxxx

About forty minutes into the run, he slows down a little. Realizing this, she slows her pace to match his and looking over at him, a playful smirk on her lips, "you slowing down there in your old age?"

Scowling at her, "no, just thinking."

"About what?"

Sighing and glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, as they are running down a set of stairs, "I guess I'm just surprised by how we got here."

Slowing down to a stop, she sees him stop as well, staring at her, "do you mean how you and I got here or how you ended up living in another galaxy?"

Taking a quick look around and seeing that they are in a rather deserted part of the city, "Lexi, you and I are the only thing I am sure about. But..." he rubs his neck with his hand and doesn't meet her eyes, "it's just that I never expected to..."

Stepping up close to him and clasping her arms around his neck, looking him in the eyes, "be here and in the position you're in now."

Pulling her into a hug and resting his chin on her shoulder, "yeah."

Feeling his arms tighten gently around her and kissing his neck, "everything happens for a reason and when it comes to you being put in charge of the military here. Well, let's just say that the people whose opinions mattered the most, thought otherwise."

He stiffens in her grip and pushing him away to arms length, she catches the pain that flickers through his eyes.

Staring her in the eyes and trying to breathe through the feeling of nausea that is now engulfing him at hearing those words again, "what…did you say?"

Frowning as she sees the color leaving his face, "I said that the people whose opinions mattered the most, thought otherwise. Why, what's wrong?"

He looks past her, remembering the conversation he had with Elizabeth that night on the Daedalus and how she had said the same thing, word for word.

"John?"

Coming back to the present, he focuses on her and seeing the concern, "it's nothing." he says, as he pulls out of her grip and starts to run again. It takes a moment for him to realize that she's still standing glued to the spot and turning and running backwards, "you coming?"

Shaking her head and catching up to him easily, "I'll race you to the mess." she taunts, as she puts on a burst of speed, laughing and looking back at him, over her shoulder.

Understanding that she is giving him an out, in terms of not having to talk about what just happened, he smiles at her and putting on a burst of speed of his own, "you're on!"

They race to the mess. At first he takes the lead, but once they get back into the more populated parts of the city, she easily outruns him. They weave and swerve to avoid running into the people in the halls, calling apologies to those few unlucky people, who they almost run over. He has a huge grin on his face, as they near the mess, because he's managed to take the lead again. But before he knows it, she is speeding past him, reaching the entrance to the mess first and jumping up and down, giggling, "I won!"

Coming to a stop next to her, leaning over and trying to catch his breath, looking up at her, "you…really...are...a...little kid sometimes, you know that?" he says, a smile plastered across his face.

Even though he is smiling, she doesn't miss the pain that's still playing in his eyes and inwardly sighing because she knows that he's not going to talk about it anymore, she decides to have a little fun with him, "oh, I know. But, I'm not the only one."

Straightening up and seeing that they're starting to attract attention, he motions for them to move into the mess and as they walk in, "are you saying that I act like a kid?"

Playfully pushing him, as they reach the food line, "yes."

Eyebrows rising, "really?"

Face turning serious, as she grabs her breakfast, but not taking her eyes off him, "not all the time. But, let's just say that it's been known to happen and that's a good thing."

Grabbing his breakfast and following her over to a table, "oh." and sitting down, contemplating her words, "why is it a good thing?"

Smiling again and rolling her eyes, "because everyone needs to at some point or another. Otherwise they'd go crazy." she says, and deciding to change the topic, "so we still on for dinner tonight?"

Nodding, "yeah. I don't see the mission taking more than a couple of hours. Should be back on time."

"Good." and realizing that he's not really paying attention to her, but is gazing off into space, "John?"

Refocusing on her and seeing the concern, "I'm fine," he lies and looking down at his watch, "oh, I'm gonna be late for the briefing with Woolsey and Lorne."

Before he can get up from the table, she has a hand on his arm stopping him and lowering her voice so that only he will hear it, "you sure you're okay? Those didn't seem like your run of the mill nightmares this morning."

Patting her hand and offering up what he hopes is a confident enough smile, "Lexi, I'm really fine. I'll see you tonight."

Knowing when to let things go, smiling and squeezing his arm gently, "ok. Love you and be careful."

Getting up and mock saluting her, "always." he says, and with a wink, he leaves her sitting at the table.

She watches him leave the mess and finishing her breakfast, she heads back to her quarters, cleaning up the clothes that are strewn everywhere from last night. Satisfied that the room is tidy, she heads into the bathroom to get ready for her day. Half an hour later, she's heading for her office and another busy day of sessions.

  



	36. Chapter 36

  


Nine hours later, Lexi is in the mess again, having coffee with Keller.

"Lexi?"

Focusing on Keller, seeing the concern plastered across her face, "ah, sorry, must have drifted there for a sec."

Taking a sip of her coffee and eyeing her carefully, "you okay?"

Shaking her head, "yeah. I'm good, just..."

Smiling, "worried about John and the team."

"Yeah. It's the same every time they go out and it's not just John and his team. Although, more so with them, then with the others."

Nodding, "understandable. It's the same for me, especially now."

"Oh, yeah. How's that going?"

Smirking and shifting uncomfortably, "as well as can be expected. You were right when you said to spend time with them it's definitely helped and I think I might have come to a decision. But I want to give it a little more time."

"Well that's good to hear." and changing the subject, "so, is Dr. Newman going to take the shift tonight?"

Smirk turning into a smile, "yes. He said that he would and that he would stop by when the shift was up."

Smiling wide, "good I'm glad. So what are you gonna wear?"

Laughing, "you know I haven't really given it much thought, yet." and realizing that she hasn't gotten a gift for John, "we weren't supposed to get gifts, right?"

"That's right. No gifts. I don't need him upset that people got him gifts."

Nodding, "I wouldn't be worried about him being angry. I think he'll except this for what it is."

Getting up, "I hope so. Anyway, I'm gonna head back to my quarters and start getting ready."

Getting up as well, but taking a look at her watch, "Lexi, we have an hour and a half. Is it really gonna take you that long?"

"Yes. I take a while, when I don't know what I'm going to wear." she says, half telling the truth as they walk out of the mess.

Chuckling, "okay. I'll see you later, then."

Getting into the transporter, "yeah, see you." she says, as the doors close and as she hits the section on the screen for the crew quarters, a shiver runs up her spine, as the knot in her stomach tightens and she knows that it won't go away until she sees John.

xxxx

Reaching her quarters, she swipes her way in and stops short as John is out cold, fully clothed in his off world BDUs, on the bed, arm draped over his eyes. Sighing, as the knot finally eases, she walks over to the bed and climbing up onto it, she scans him over.

Reaching for his arm, "John?"

After a couple of seconds, she tries again, this time leaning down and kissing him on his lips. This has the desired effect and she smiles as he wraps his arms around her and pulls her down on top of him, kissing her.

Pulling away from him, looking him in the eyes and running her fingers through his hair, "hey you. How was the mission?"

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, "not so good. Kennedy had a run in with a tree and a rock. She's fine now, but it was a bit of a challenge getting her back."

Still running her fingers through his hair and frowning at how tired he looks, "when did you get back?"

Yawning and taking a look at his watch, "three hours ago, wow!"

Shaking her head, "you feel okay?"

Rolling his eyes, "Lexi, Dr. Cole checked me over. It was just a rough go of it out there and you know I didn't sleep well last night."

Shocked that he's actually admitting to not sleeping well, "all right." and climbing out of the bed, raising her eyebrows at him, "shower?"

Tracking her as she walks towards the bathroom and seeing the raised eyebrows, he jumps out of the bed, "yeah."

Smiling as he pulls her close to him and kisses her, she starts to pull off his clothes and he does the same with hers as they stumble towards the shower. Forty minutes later, they're standing in the fogged up bathroom, towels wrapped around them.

Standing behind her with his arms wrapped around her waist, while she brushes her teeth, "you know what?" he asks, through kissing her neck.

Wiping the mirror with her hand, so she can see his reflection, "what?" she asks, after washing her mouth out with water.

Turning her around to face him and running his hands over her back, "I think you're the best present I could ask for."

Completely surprised and at a total loss for words, she simply clasps her arms around his neck and kisses him passionately. They stand there kissing for a couple of minutes and as she pulls away, he moans, "no, don't stop. Dinner can wait."

Smiling and pulling out of his arms, she heads for the dresser, "no it can't. I'm starving." and seeing the look he's fixing her with, from his position of leaning against the bathroom doorframe, she laughs, "besides, the faster we have dinner the faster we can come back here."

Realizing what she's getting at, he bolts over to the dresser and in record time he's dressed and waiting for her to finish getting ready. He's sitting on the couch when she walks out of the bathroom, "wow!" is all he can say, as he looks her up and down.

Blushing, "John, I'm not wearing anything that incredible."

He's standing in front of her in the blink of an eye, staring down at her, a huge grin plastered across his face, "yes, you are." he says and pulling her into him, "let's go, cause I can't wait to get you out of it."

She looks up at him and seeing the passion flash in his eyes, she kisses him. Pulling away, "okay. Let's go."

They head out of her quarters and as they get into the transporter, he reaches for the screen to hit the section for the southwest balcony. Noticing this, she places her hand on his, "no John, we need to stop off at the mess first."

"I thought that everything was already there?"

Smiling and hitting the screen for the mess, "no, I need to get one thing."

xxxx

They exit the transporter and as they reach the doors to the mess, "Lexi, why are the lights off?"

"Oh, yeah, um, Radek said they were having some issues with them."

Hand reaching for the door control panel, "that's strange. I wonder if McKay knows."

Barely able to keep the smile from her voice, "he does."

The next second the doors open and he stops dead in his tracks, "surprise!"

Spinning quickly to face her, "I told you I..."

The rest of his words get drowned out, as thirty people, wishing him "happy birthday," engulf him, McKay, Keller, Ronon, Beckett, Teyla and Lorne front and center.

She follows the group, with John in the middle, further into the mess and smiles as Woolsey comes over to her, "well Dr. Carter, I believe that this has turned out quite well. The mess looks wonderful and I have to say so does the food."

Smiling and watching John carefully, as he's got a smile on his face, but it's not reaching his eyes, "yes, the staff did a wonderful job. Please enjoy yourself tonight." and watching him make his way over to John and catching Radek's eye, the music starts.

As she heads over to the buffet table, Beckett shows up at her elbow, "Lexi, love, well done."

Turning to face him, plate in hand, "yeah."

Frowning at the look on her face and as others are now starting to line up for the buffet, he gently guides her out of ear shot, "what is it?" he asks.

Eyes quickly locating John, who's engrossed in an animated conversation with Teyla, Ronon and Lorne, but looks as if he's ready to bolt, "he's not happy."

Following her gaze and looking back at her, "he seems just fine to me and you said that you'd be fine with it, if he got angry at you for this."

Smiling, "I know Carson, but there's something else going on."

Patting her on the arm and returning her smile, "don't fret too much about it. We all needed this and he'll be just fine. I'm gonna go grab a bite to eat."

Sitting down at the table and not taking her eyes off John, "all right, I'll be right here."

A few hours later, after having eaten a little and chatting with everyone, she's trying to find John, having lost track of him. She sees McKay and Beckett at a table, beers in hand and a few empty bottles sitting on the table. Smiling at them, as she takes a seat next to McKay, "gentlemen please tell me that you're not driving anywhere tonight?"

Looking at her with a loopy smile, "no, I left my keys in my quarters." McKay woozily responds and thumping Beckett on the shoulder, causing the doctor to spill some of the beer he was drinking onto himself, "besides, Carson and I have already gotten Major Lorne to promise to drive us back."

Rolling his eyes, "Lexi, don't believe a word this git says." and taking a look around the mess, "I've a feeling that Jennifer's gonna be dealing with quite a few hangovers tomorrow mornin." he slurs out, his accent even more pronounced.

Eyeing the group of people in the mess, chuckling at what she sees, "yeah, I can't say that I'm sorry about that."

Ronon is in the middle of a game of Satedan/Earth beer pong with Lorne and his team, while a bunch of people are watching and cheering. Teyla and Keller are watching as well, not nearly as inebriated as the group playing the game. But all in all, everyone seems to have consumed copious amount of alcohol and are enjoying themselves immensely.

Feeling a little tipsy herself, but worry starting to nag at her again, she turns to face the two men again who've become engrossed in watching Ronon from afar, "have either of you seen John?"

"Aye love. I saw him head out onto the balcony a while ago."

Getting up and smirking at the activity going on around the room, "all right. Be good boys."

As she heads for the doors to the balcony, she looks back over her shoulder to see McKay, raising his beer up to her, "we'll be as good as we can."

Smiling at this, as she has a feeling that he will be attempting to put her suggestion about how to gain Keller's affection, into effect tonight, she turns her head and reaches the doors. Walking out onto the balcony, the door closing behind her, muting the sound coming from inside a little she scans the balcony for John.

She finds him sitting at the table where they spent the night talking, the night she arrived on Atlantis, his head resting on his arms, seemingly asleep.

Quietly walking up to him, frowning as she takes in the six empty bottles of beer sitting on the table, she kneels down and rubbing his back, "John?"

He blearily opens his eyes and she can tell that he's having a hard time focusing, so she tries again, "John, are you okay?"

Lifting his head up and staring at her, eyes still a little unfocused, "mm…fine" he slurs out, rubbing his eyes with his hands.

Standing up, "you think you can make it back to my quarters?" she asks and as he stands up, she quickly grabs his arm as he sways, "whoa, easy there fly boy." and draping his arm around her shoulder, wrapping her left arm around his waist, she guides him in the other direction off of the balcony.

It's slow going, as he is drunk enough that getting him to walk in a straight line is not even a possibility. After what seems like an eternity, they reach her quarters and swiping them into them, she guides him over to the bed, laughing at the fact that the second his head hits the pillow, he's out cold.

Reaching down to untie his shoes, "so much for the in control Colonel." she says with a smirk, as she easily finishes getting him out of his clothes and under the blankets.

Satisfied that he's down for the count, she heads into the bathroom and gets ready for bed. A few minutes later, she startles as he runs into the bathroom, hand over mouth, all the color gone from his face. Entering doctor mode immediately, she grabs a washcloth and wets it with cool water. After ringing it out, she kneels next to him rubbing circles on his back, as he continues to vomit. She sits there until the spell passes and as he leans back against the wall, closing his eyes and moaning, she flushes the toilet.

After flushing it, she slides herself behind him, so that he is sitting between her legs, leaning against her chest. She wraps her arms around his chest and gently places the cool washcloth over his forehead, a soft moan escaping his lips at the relief it offers.

"How much did you have to drink?" she asks him, as the shaking subsides and his breathing eases.

"Too...much." he grits out, eyes still closed.

Not missing the anger in his voice, "are you mad at me for throwing the party?"

Shaking his head, stopping mid shake as the movement causes another wave of nausea to ripple through him, he lunges forward, dry heaving into the toilet. Finally getting his stomach under control, he slumps back against her, sighing and wiping his mouth with the wet cloth that she hands him again, "no, I'm not angry about the party."

"Then why did you look so miserable and why did I find you out on the balcony?"

He doesn't answer and a few seconds later, feeling the tremors running through him and a few drops of water hitting her arms, "John, what is it?"

He slides out of her arms and turning to face her, she sees the tears that are streaking down his cheeks. Realizing that he won't be the one to initiate the contact, she slides next to him, on his right side and pulls him into a hug, holding him tight.

They sit there for a while and just when she can't stand the silence anymore and is about to say something, "it reminded...me...of my mom."

"I'm sorry?"

Talking into her shoulder, "the party reminded me of my mom."

Pushing him away to arms length and looking him in the eyes, she sees the pain in them, "what do you mean, the party reminded you of your mom?"

Taking a deep breath and running his hands through his hair, "the last time someone threw a surprise party for me, my mom ended up in the hospital."

"Oh, John. I'm so sorry." and seeing that he's starting to shake again, she pulls him into another hug. Rubbing his back, she feels the tremors running through him again, "when did this happen?"

He doesn't answer right away, but when he does, his voice is shaky and full of raw emotion, "I was eleven. My mom convinced my dad to throw a surprise party for my birthday and of course, he could never say no to her..." he trails off, taking in a couple of breaths to calm himself.

Pulling away, she looks him over, concern twisting her stomach into knots, "John, this can wait, we should..."

Meeting her gaze, "no, I've...already started. Just...give...me a sec. Okay?"

Nodding and taking his hand in hers, "okay."

Getting his feelings in check, "the night of my surprise party, she got really sick. It turned out that she had cancer, but they didn't catch it in time. She died three days later, in my arms." and wrapping his arms around himself, as the shakes are getting worse, "did it just get cold in here?"

Standing up, "let's get you back in bed." and taking his hands, she pulls him to his feet, stepping backwards, as he nearly topples over into her, "whoa, I've got you."

He's still shaking, but stops at the sink, "I need to."

Realizing what he wants to do, "yeah. But, if I let go, will you be okay?"

Nodding his head a little, "just don't go far."

"How bout I stay right here?" she asks, letting go, but not moving from his side.

Smiling a little, "that works."

Five minutes later, he is lying in her arms, his head resting on her chest and she's running her fingers through his hair.

Looking down at him, "John, when your mom died, how did your dad take it?'

Frowning and looking up at her, "he buried himself in his work and Dave and I were sent away to boarding school. His plan was for us to join the family business after college and grad school. I got as far as grad school."

Chuckling, "let me guess, you left for the academy right after graduation?"

"Yeah. I was home on winter break during my last year and when I told him, we had a huge fight. He told me that if I joined the Air Force, he would never forgive me. I went home after graduation to get my things and he and Dave tried to convince me not to go. Obviously I didn't listen."

Wrapping her arms tighter around him, "did you ever talk with him again?"

Sighing, "yeah. It was right after I proposed to Nancy. I brought her home to meet him, but that day ended in another fight and if it wasn't for the fact that he loved Nancy, he wouldn't have shown up at the wedding."

"How did he take it when you got divorced?"

Scrubbing his face, tiredly, "he never spoke to me again."

Kissing his forehead, "I'm sorry."

Snuggling closer to her, "for what?"

"If I'd known all of this, I wouldn't have thrown the party."

Sitting up and frowning at her, "Lexi, it's my fault. I should have told you. But." rubbing the back of his head with his hand and shrugging, "I'm not good at...well you know."

Pulling him down into her arms again, "yeah, I know. You suck at the touchy feely stuff. Now shut up and go to sleep. You look like you were hit by a truck."

Looking up at her and smiling, "thanks for caring." he says, sarcasm dripping from every word.

Rolling her eyes, "just be thankful that I'm not grounding you." she says, and as she looks down at him, she smiles, as his eyes are already closed.

Thinking that he's already asleep, she mentally shuts off the lights and as she shuts her eyes, she startles a little as he whispers, "Lexi, you...remind me of her."

Not knowing what to say to this, as she's so flattered, she simply kisses him and they fall asleep.

  


  
  
  
  



	37. Chapter 37

  


The alarm goes off at 0620 and opening her eyes, Lexi is aware of two things. First that John is still asleep next to her and second that he is lying on his stomach, his left arm draped over hers. Smiling to herself, she lifts his hand up and turning over she shuts off the alarm.

Turning over onto her left side, she nearly jumps out of her skin as he is staring back at her, "you really have to stop doing that to me." she says, smiling at him.

Returning the smile, "sorry." he says, and closing his eyes, "you got any Tylenol?"

Frowning and running her fingers through his hair, feeling a little heat meeting her fingers, "yeah I'd imagine you'd have a pretty bad headache, after last night. Anything else?"

Rolling over onto his right side facing her and curling his legs up to his chest, "nauseous, sore and I could sleep for another ten hours."

A couple of minutes later, he opens his eyes again to see her climbing onto the bed,  _okay, what the hell is going on?_  and blinking his eyes to get them to focus, "what time is it?"

Crossing her legs in front of her, handing him a bottle of water and a couple of Tylenol, "0630." and watching him take the pills, "drink as much as you can."

Swallowing, "and this is why I don't get drunk." he says, a frown creasing his forehead as he takes another sip and seeing her staring at him, squirming a little under her gaze, "ah, Lexi. About what I told you last night."

"John, don't worry. I'm not going to say anything or make you talk about it anymore. Unless you want to."

Closing his eyes and handing her the water bottle, "there really isn't anything else to talk about. She died, my dad was a complete ass hole, he died and it's over."

Accepting the water bottle from him and seeing the color draining from his face, as he closes his eyes, she quietly gets out of the bed, while he is talking and picking up her radio, she heads for the bathroom.

Opening up the channel as soon as she enters the bathroom, "Dr. Carter to the infirmary."

"Go ahead Lexi."

Smiling as she hears Keller's voice come over the radio, "ah, Jen. How are you feeling this morning?"

"Well, I'm much better off than most. It was quite the party. How are you?"

"I'm good. I'm glad you had a good time last night."

"Lexi, what's wrong?"

Sighing, "it's John."

"Let me guess. He's got a major hangover?"

"Yeah."

"Can you get him down here?"

"I'll try."

"Good. If not let me know and I'll come to you."

"Okay, thanks. I'll bring him by as soon as I can. Carter out." and signing off, she heads out of the bathroom to find John's eyes locking on her as she walks towards him. Climbing onto the bed and scanning her eyes over him, "you think you can make it down to the infirmary?"

Slowly propping himself up against the pillows, closing his eyes tight as the room spins a little, "do I have to?"

Smiling to herself, as right now he sounds more like a little kid, than an adult, "well, I guess I could have Jen bring the IV down here. She did say that she would."

Opening his eyes to slits, "really?"

"Yeah, really. I know how much you hate it down there and being that she has her hands full. I know that she'll be okay with it."

Closing his eyes again, as the little light that is in the room is making his head pound even more, "you mean, I'm not the only one who feels like crap?"

Chuckling, as she takes his hand in hers, discreetly resting her fingers over his pulse point and looking down at her watch, "yeah. You weren't alone in drinking your body weight in alcohol last night. I think half the population is down in the infirmary with hangovers."

Not getting a response, she looks up at him from her watch and smiles as she can tell that he has fallen asleep. Letting go of his wrist, she stands up and throwing on a hoody, a pair of socks and her sneakers, she swipes her way out of the room and heads for the infirmary, running over the previous night in her head.

Walking into the infirmary she is brought out of her thoughts by Keller coming up to her.

"Lexi, you didn't have to come down. I would have come to you."

Smiling slightly as she looks around and catches sight of Lorne, Ronon, McKay, Beckett and Zelenka all sleeping on gurneys, with IVs hooked into them, "wow."

Following her gaze, smiling and turning to face her, "yeah, tell me about it. They're the last of the group that I've treated for hangovers this morning. So I take it that the Colonel is..."

"Can we chat in your office?"

Nodding and leading the way, "sure." and sitting down behind her desk, "so, what's up?"

Running a hand through her hair and grimacing, "I was wondering if anything had shown up on John's after mission check from yesterday or the day before?"

Leaning forward, with her hands clasped in front of her on the desk, "no. Dr. Cole cleared him both times. Why?"

"Well, because I don't think he just has a hangover."

Leaning back in her chair, focusing on her tablet and opening up his file, "according to this, his blood work came back clean after both checks, as did his scans." she says, and looking at Lexi, "what are his symptoms?"

"I'm not..."

"Lexi, what are they?"

Sighing, "he's nauseous, he's running a temp and he said that he was sore."

Frowning, standing up, grabbing an LSD from her desk and gesturing for Lexi to follow her, "okay, let's head down to your quarters and check him over. The symptoms are in line with a hangover, which you know and the soreness can be attributed to the beating he took on the mission two days ago, but let's cover all the bases."

Reaching out a hand to stop Keller as she walks past her, "Jen, can't we just get him on an IV and I'll bring him down to you this afternoon. I mean maybe he just needs to sleep."

Looking down at her, "I would say yes. But with his luck, I want to be sure it is just a hangover."

Standing up and following her out of the office, "okay, but let's bring the IV just to get him started on it."

"Good idea. Might as well kill two birds with one stone." she says, as she heads over to one of the cabinets where they keep the IV bags and needles. Grabbing what she needs, they head for Lexi's quarters. Reaching them, Lexi swipes them in and they quietly walk into the room, letting the doors slide shut behind them.

Whispering, "Lexi, can you raise the lights a little?"

Lexi thinks the lights up just enough so they can see John and they head over to the bed. Keller kneels down on his left, as Lexi climbs onto the bed on his right side.

Looking at Keller, "do you want me to turn him onto his back?" she asks, keeping her voice low, as he is sleeping on his right side facing her.

Scanning him with the LSD, "yeah." she whispers back, as she keeps her eyes on the readouts.

Nodding, Lexi places her right hand on his left shoulder and her left hand under his right shoulder and gently turns him over, a smile coming to her lips as his eyes start to flutter open at the movement.

Feeling a gentle touch on his shoulder, John starts to wake up, instantly regretting it as the pounding in his head intensifies. Trying to fall back to sleep, but having no luck, he inwardly sighs and lets his eyes flutter open, blinking them a couple of times to get the person who is sitting in his line of vison to solidify into one.

Groggily, "Lexi?"

Smiling down at him, "yeah John. Sorry to wake you, but Jen's here."

Frowning, but turning his head to look at Keller, "hey doc."

Looking up at him from the packaging she is taking the IV needle out of, "Colonel, I need you to think back to when you got back from the mission yesterday. Besides being sore, was anything else bothering you?"

Wincing as he feels her insert the IV into the back of his hand, "ah, no. I was tired, but other than that, I felt fine."

Shaking her head, "Jen, when I got back from having coffee with you, I found him out cold."

Scowling at her, "like I said. I was tired."

"John, you slept for three hours. During the day no less."

"It was a rough mission. I..."

Interrupting him before the disagreement can go any further, "okay, okay. That's enough. Colonel, I'm gonna call for a gurney to bring you down to the infirmary. I want to run some tests."

"I'm fine. Can't I just stay here?"

Standing up and raising an eyebrow at him, "no, you are not fine and no you can't just stay here. I don't like the readings I'm getting from the LSD and your temp is rising and it shouldn't be." and seeing the look he is giving her, "if it makes you feel any better, I'm grounding your whole team as well as Kennedy's until we know what you've got."

Looking from him to Keller, "what do you think could be causing this?"

"I don't know Lexi." she says, and turning on her radio, "Dr. Keller to the infirmary."

"Yes doctor. What do you need?"

As Keller is talking over her radio, Lexi rests her eyes on John, just as he sits up. She watches as he throws the blankets off of himself and as he swings his legs over the side of the bed, he closes his eyes. Seeing this, "ah Jen..."

Stopping mid sentence, "and bring me a...hold on a sec Marie." she says, and kneeling down next to John, "Colonel, where do you think you're going?"

Opening his eyes, staring at her and taking a deep breath to keep his stomach in check, "I can make it without a gurney."

Looking from him to Lexi and back, "are you crazy? You're in no condition to walk from here to the infirmary."

Before he can answer, Lexi is standing in front of him helping him to his feet and sliding his arm around her shoulders, "Jen, he's gonna do it with or without your help, so just give in and help me."

Sighing and talking into her radio, "Marie, cancel the gurney request, but keep it on standby. Keller out." she says, and reaching for the flow valve on the IV bag, she turns it off and as she reaches for his left hand, disconnecting him from the IV line, "all right, I'll let you walk. But if you so much as stumble once, we sit you down and I call for the gurney. Deal?"

Nodding his head, but grimacing as it sends the room tilting, "deal."

Muttering under her breath, "I don't know why I let you two talk me into these things." Keller drapes his other arm around her shoulders and looking up at him, "okay, nice and slow and if you need to stop, say so."

They walk slowly out of Lexi's quarters and head for the transporter. As they step out of it in the main corridor leading to the infirmary, Lexi feels him shudder. She had kept her mouth shut about him walking under his own power, but looking up at him she can tell that she should have backed Keller up "Jen, stop and call for that gurney now."

Keller had not missed the shudders running through him either, but not wanting to break the deal that she made with him, she too kept her mouth shut. Hearing Lexi, she immediately brings her free hand up to her ear, "Keller to infirmary, I need that gurney. Infirmary hallway one." she says, and as the radio link closes, they ease him down to a sitting position against the wall, where once he's down, he starts listing to the left.

Seeing this, they lunge to stop him from falling over. Lexi being just a little quicker than Keller gets her hands on his shoulders and sitting down on his left side, she guides his head down onto her lap.

Looking up at Keller with a grimace, "I'm sorry."

Kneeling down next to him and taking out the scanner, "why are you sorry?" she asks as she frowns at the readings.

Running her fingers through his hair, also frowning at the heat that meets her fingertips, "I should have backed you up on bringing him here on a gurney. It's just that..."

Looking at John and then at her, "I know that he hates having to let us take care of him. But, this is getting old. It's like he doesn't listen to anything we tell him."

Looking down at him and sighing, "he listens. He just doesn't like it when other people worry about him. Which is why he doesn't like to bother anyone if it's something he can handle on his own."

"Are you kidding me?" Keller asks, as Marie arrives with corpsman Hall and the gurney.

Lexi shrugs as she watches them gently load John onto the gurney and walking next to it, they wheel him the rest of the way to the infirmary. Once there, she takes up a seat and watches the controlled chaos that usually accompanies him when he comes into it.

xxxx

Two hours later, Lexi is sitting in John's room in the infirmary, the lights dimmed, when she hears a commotion taking place in the main part of it.

She smiles to herself, shaking her head as she hears McKay shouting at someone or a couple of some ones.

"What are you talking about, he's sick? I thought you said it was just a hangover."

Lexi gets up from her chair and as she reaches the door leading into the main part of the infirmary, she sees McKay, Keller, Beckett, Teyla, and Ronon all heading her way.

"Rodney, calm down." she says, as the group comes to a stop in front of her.

Eyebrows shooting up, "calm down. You want me to calm down. How would you like me to do that, when both of these voodoo people here don't even know what is making him sick."

"Rodney, that's not entirely true." Beckett says.

"That's right. We have some idea about how he got sick. We just don't know what he has and we won't know until his blood work comes back this afternoon." Keller adds on.

Glaring at them, "oh and that's supposed to make us feel better?"

Placing a hand on his arm, "Rodney, I am sure that Jennifer and Carson are doing all they can for him." Teyla says, trying to calm him.

Just as he is about to retort again, the sound of fast beeping brings all of their attention back to the person in question. Lexi steps aside to allow Keller and Beckett to get to John first and following them into the room, she comes to a stop at the end of his bed, frowning as she can tell that he is about to throw up.

The first sounds that greet John as he starts to wake up are the beeping of the EKG and McKay's shouting. The next thing his brain registers is Lexi's voice, then McKay's again, then Beckett, and drifting a little he misses the last bit of the conversation.

Floating back to consciousness again,  _okay who's playing with the thermostat?_  has him trying to open his eyes. Not having any luck at prying them open at this exact moment, he drifts again, until he feels his stomach churning and the panic that engulfs him at the thought of throwing up, forces him to snap his eyes open.

Scrounging up what feels like the last amount of strength that he has, "sick." he grits out, before he bolts upright. He quickly grabs the basin that is thrust into his hands before the dry heaving starts.

He feels a hand rubbing circles on his back and when he is sure that his stomach is satisfied with the number it has just pulled on him, he collapses back against the pillow, closing his eyes.

The next thing that registers is the feeling of something being stuck in his ear. Opening his eyes, he sees that the only people left in the room are Lexi, who is sitting on the end of the bed, watching him. Keller, who is typing something on her tablet and is standing next to Lexi and turning his head, he sees Beckett standing next to him, holding what turns out to be the thermometer in his ear.

"Hey Carson." he croaks out, as his throat is really dry and scratchy from the earlier bout of dry heaving.

Smiling and taking the thermometer out of his ear, "how're you feeling, lad?" he asks, as he looks down at the screen and the smile falters a little.

Seeing everyone watching him, he squirms a little in the bed, "throat's sore."

Putting down the thermometer and grabbing a cup of ice chips off of the table next to the bed, "aye, I'd imagine it would be." and scooping an ice chip out of the cup, "this should help, though."

"Carson, what was the reading?"

Looking at Keller, "101.8."

Swallowing the liquid from the ice chip, "ah, what's going on?"

Turning his head in John's direction and patting him on the shoulder, "don't worry yourself about it." Beckett says, as he steps away to whisper something to Keller and Lexi.

John watches them whispering and curses the fact that his head is pounding, making it difficult to hear what they are saying. But years of training, allow him to read their lips. So when Beckett and Keller leave the room and Lexi comes to sit on the side of the bed next to him, taking his hand in hers, he asks, "they don't know why I'm sick yet, do they?"

Frowning, "no. They have some idea, but they're waiting on your blood work. How're you feeling?"

Sighing, "well, I'm not nauseous anymore. So I guess there's that." and seeing the emotions playing across her face, "Lexi, what is it?"

Looking away from him at the monitors, "it's nothing."

"Lexi look at me." he says, and waits for her to turn her head and as she does, he catches the tears streaking down her cheeks. Shifting in the bed, pulling her down into his arms and resting his chin on her head, "I'm not going anywhere."

Wiping the tears away from her eyes and sighing, "good I'm glad about that. But that's not it."

"Then what is it?"

Sitting up and looking him in the eyes, "it's not fair that you always seem to end up here. It's like the universe has a personal vendetta against you or something."

Chuckling, "it does seem like that doesn't it." and shrugging, he reaches a hand out to wipe a tear off her face, "but you know it could be worse."

Raising an eyebrow, "yeah, I guess it could." and smiling at him she leans over and brushes a piece of hair out of his eyes.

"So, what do they think I've got?"

Shrugging, "they think it's some sort of virus." and sitting up straight, "when everyone who was on the planet with you yesterday told them that you were the only one to eat the shellfish, they figured it was a good bet."

Scrunching his face up in disgust, "I've got food poisoning?"

Nodding her head, "no. It's a virus. Although the symptoms are similar to food poisoning, this is an actual bug."

Wincing, "I thought we said we would never use that word."

Wincing herself, "sorry. But it's the best way for me to describe it."

Pulling her down to him again, "it's okay. Just don't say it again. So if it's a virus, what does that mean in terms of how long I'm stuck here?"

"Well lad, we're gonna keep you here for the duration." Beckett says, as he walks into the room, having heard his question. He stops short however, at seeing Lexi lying in his arms, "oh, sorry Colonel, I didn't realize."

Pulling out of John's arms, sliding off the bed and sitting in the chair next to the bed, "it's okay Carson. So is it a virus?"

Coming up to the bed and reaching for John's wrist, "aye. But it's not any type of virus we're used to seeing." and taking his stethoscope from his neck, he hooks it into his ears, "it looks like this one is not contagious, which is a lucky break." and pulling down the blankets and John's top, "Colonel take a deep breath for me."

Watching Beckett checking him over, "you're leaving something out. What aren't you telling us?" she asks.

Settling the blankets back over John, sighing, "well, we don't know how long the symptoms last, let alone what all of them are." and sticking his hands in his lab coat pocket, "the one symptom we are positive about though is a high grade fever and if we don't watch it carefully, it will cause problems that your body can't handle right now."

Looking from him to John and back, "how high are we talking?"

"Dangerously high."

Closing his eyes and letting out a low groan, "great. Just great."

Frowning at Lexi, Beckett leaves the room.

She watches him leave the room and settling her eyes on John, she smiles to herself, as he seems to have dozed off. Standing up, she sits down on the edge of the bed and runs her fingers through his hair, startling a little as she sees his eyes staring back at her.

"It could be worse, right?" she asks facetiously.

The edges of his lips curl into a small smile, "stay?"

Leaning forward, she kisses him on the lips and as she sits up, "I'm not going anywhere, just go back to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

As his eyes slide shut, she slides off the bed, only to startle again as his eyes snap open, searching for hers, "Lexi, please don't…go anywhere."

Breath catching at the pure fear she sees in his eyes, she frowns and sitting back down on the side of the bed, taking his hand in hers, "okay."

Letting his eyes close again as he can't keep them open anymore, "s'good." he mumbles out as he falls back to sleep.

Smiling sadly, she watches as he falls back to sleep again, his hand going lax in her grip. Keeping his hand in hers, she runs her eyes over the monitors and as the numbers go blurry, she squeezes her eyes shut, pushing her thumb and forefinger of her right hand into them.

"Lexi love, are you all right?"

Dropping her hand and opening her eyes, blinking them a couple of times to get them to focus, "yeah Carson." and watching as Beckett heads for the IV port on the bag, "Teyla."

"Lexi how is he? Carson tried to give me the medical explanation, but."

"Well, except for the fact that his temp is rising, he's okay."

Looking at the monitors, "we're doing all we can lass."

Smiling at him, "I don't doubt it. But I don't understand how he could have gotten sick from eating the fish on the planet." Teyla says, and bringing her right hand around from her back, she hands something to Lexi, "I thought you might want this to keep you busy."

Looking at the item, she realizes that it is John's Nintendo DS, "oh, thanks." and looking back up at her, "well most likely the natives of the planet have an immunity to it."

"Oh." Teyla says, and raising her hand to her radio, "yes Kanaan, I'll be right there. Teyla out." and seeing the questioning looks that Lexi and Beckett are giving her, "it seems that Torren is giving his father a hard time, if you will please excuse me. Carson, please let me know if there is any change."

Smiling, "of course love."

Returning the smile, "thank you. Lexi I will see you later."

Taking her eyes off John, "see you later Teyla." she says, and watching her leave, she feels Beckett's eyes on her and turning to face him, "what?"

Shaking his head, "when did you last have something to eat?"

Sighing, "Carson, I..."

"That's what I thought. You know, you're just as bad as he is." he says, pointing a finger at John. "go get something from the mess. He's gonna be out a while."

Frowning, "but what happens if he wakes up and I'm not here? I promised I wouldn't go anywhere."

"Well, I'll be here."

They look over at the door to see McKay strolling in, tablet in hand.

Coming to stand next to Beckett, "Lexi, go get something to eat and change. I'll stay until you get back."

"But..."

"Lexi love, go. We'll stay with him."

She is about to protest again, but a loud rumble sounds from her stomach. Blushing, "okay, I'm going. But, contact me if..."

"The moment anything changes love, I promise."

Nodding, she stands up and kisses John on his forehead, smiling as he turns his head in her direction, as she pulls away, but doesn't open his eyes. Straightening up, she walks out of his room and heads for her quarters.

xxxx

Forty minutes later, Lexi walks into the gym, heading for the stationary bike, which is facing the entrance. She would have gone to the mess to get something to eat, as Beckett suggested, but having little to no appetite, she decided to head for the gym instead. Swinging her towel over the handlebars, she climbs onto it and inserting her ear buds, she turns on her iPod and starts to cycle.

Ten minutes later, she smiles and waves at Lorne and Ronon, who are leading a group of marines into the gym. She watches as the group splits off into pairs and on Lorne's "begin," they start to spar, Ronon and Lorne walking around the pairs, giving instructions as they go.

As Lorne nears her, he comes to a stop and smiling down at her, "hey Lexibeth, you feel like showing these men that a civilian can fight just as well as they can?"

Dropping her legs to the ground and taking a gulp of her Gatorade, "will I be sparing with you or Ronon?"

Raising an eyebrow, "me. I figure Ronon will take it easy on you."

Smiling, "Evan, if you really want to show them something, I should take on both of you."

"Yeah, but the last time you fought him, it was you and Teyla."

"Let's see what he thinks?" she says and standing up, "hey Ronon, come over here."

Finished instructing a couple of marines and walking towards them, "what's up?"

Winking at Lorne and turning to smile at him, "Evan wants me to fight him, to show these guys a thing or two. I think I should fight both of you, but he thinks you'll take it easy on me. What do you think?"

He thinks about it for a second and as his hand sub consciously rubs his back, a huge grin crosses his face, "I'd never take it easy on you. Let's do this."

Chuckling at the sight of him rubbing his back, "okay, Lexi. We'll do it your way." Lorne says, and coming to stand in the middle of the mat with Lexi and Ronon on either side of him, "okay, everyone stop."

As everyone stops fighting and stands at ease, Lexi looks around the room and recognizes some of the marines that are there. She nods her head at them, but most of them are new, having just recently arrived on the Daedalus.

Her attention is attracted to a young man of about her age who is raising his hand. She smiles as Lorne notices him.

"Yeah James, what's your question?"

Shifting uneasily, as everyone is now looking at him, "ah sir, I was just wondering who she is?"

Smiling, "you're a step ahead of me. Everyone let me introduce you to Dr. Alexa Carter. She is the head psychiatrist on base."

"But sir, I thought this was supposed to be a training session. No one said anything about having to talk to a shrink. No offense ma'am."

Smiling, "none taken Lieutenant." Lexi says, and looking at Lorne, "I think we should get this started. It's easier to show them, instead of telling them."

Nodding, "you're right. Okay men, clear the floor." he says, and as they are left alone on the mat, "okay you two, you ready?"

They nod in acknowledgement and bow to each other, after which they start circling each other. Lexi catches the flinch in Ronon, before he makes a move of swinging a fist in her direction. She blocks it and spinning, she glances Lorne coming at her. They fight for a good thirty minutes. Lexi blocking and returning each kick or punch thrown at her by the two men. She is completely in the zone and doesn't hear the whoops or astonished gasps coming from the new recruits, who are looking at the few marines who are veterans of the base, in shock. These men just shrug and smile, knowing all to well what type of fighter Lexi is, having seen her take Lorne, Ronon, John and Teyla down at one point or another.

Finally, she catches Lorne dropping his guard and swinging out a hand, she lands a punch to his stomach, which knocks him to the floor. As she does so, she hears Ronon coming up behind her and feeling his arm snaking around her neck, she grabs for it and quickly spins out of his grasp, elbowing him in the stomach, knocking the air out of him. Lorne and Ronon catch their breath and as they stand up and bow to each other and Lexi, who returns the bow with a huge grin on her face, the marines erupt into applause.

As she heads for her Gatorade bottle, Lorne turns and addresses the marines, "okay men. That was to show you that civilians can fight as well as we can. So be prepared for anything and everything out there. Dismissed."

Lexi watches as the marines leave the gym, the new recruits still shooting her looks of amazement. Gulping down the Gatorade, she takes a seat on the stationary bike, as the exertion of fighting on an empty stomach is starting to catch up with her.

Chatting about how the sparing went, Lorne and Ronon walk over to her, "well Lexibeth, I'd say you gave us a run for our money."

Scowling, "Evan, for the millionth time, stop calling me that."

Crossing his fingers behind his back, "okay, okay. I'll stop."

Seeing this and chuckling, "you know Lexi, if some of the marines fought like you, I'd end up on the floor more often."

Smiling, "thanks Ronon. But to tell you the truth, I'm not that great of a fighter. I just see openings that others don't." and standing up, she lists sideways, almost falling over into Lorne.

Catching her and guiding her back down onto the stationary bike, "whoa, Lexi you okay?"

Shaking her head, "yeah, I'm good. I just stood up to fast."

Rolling his eyes, "you've been spending way to much time with Sheppard."

Watching her with concern, "Ronon's right." and as he starts to reach up to activate his radio, "I'm calling Keller."

Sighing, "Evan, don't. I'm fine, really. I just over did it." she says, standing up to try and prove her point. But her body betrays her and the last thing she is aware of is feeling like she is free falling through the air, as she loses consciousness.

  



	38. Chapter 38

  


Realizing that she is about to pass out, Lorne lunges out to catch her before she hits the ground and as he scoops her into his arms, "Ronon, radio the infirmary and tell them we're bringing her in." he says, as they hurry out of the gym for the transporter.

Nodding and taping his radio as they reach it, "Ronon to the infirmary."

"Go ahead Ronon. What is it?" Keller's voice asks over the radio.

"Doc, we're bringing Lexi to you. She passed out."

"Okay. What's your eta?"

Looking at Lorne, "five minutes."

"We'll be waiting."

"Good. Ronon out." and looking down at Lexi in Lorne's arms, "do you think she has what Sheppard has?"

Shaking his head and grimacing at the startled looks they're getting from the people in the corridor, "I don't think so. I think she was right when she said she just over did it."

Five minutes later, he deposits Lexi on a waiting gurney and moves out of the way to let Keller and her staff check her over. While this is going on, Beckett comes over to the two men and stands with them, as they watch the practiced movements of Keller and her team.

"Hey doc. How's Sheppard." Ronon asks, as he keeps his eyes on Lexi.

Lorne draws his eyes away from the activity, "yeah. How is he?"

Sighing at the sight in front of them, "I bloody well wish people would listen to me when I tell them to do something." and looking from Lexi to them, "he's as well as can be expected. His temp is still up there, no matter what we throw at it. I'm afraid that if it doesn't come down soon, we're gonna have to try something else."

"Can we see him?" Ronon asks.

"Aye. Rodney left a little while ago and I'm sure Lexi would want someone sitting with him." and seeing Keller walking towards them, "Jennifer, how is she?"

Coming to stand in front of them, "well she's dehydrated and her blood sugar is in the basement. But, she should be coming around soon." and looking at Ronon and Lorne, "what happened?"

"We were in the gym training the new batch of marines. She fought us." Lorne says, motioning to himself and Ronon, "and then she just fainted."

"She said that she over did it." Ronon adds on.

Glancing at Beckett, "well, she did over do it. I'm surprised she didn't pass out sooner."

Looking from her to Lexi, "she will be okay, right?"

"Yes Major, she's going to be fine. I'll keep her here over night to monitor her and release her in the morning." and seeing the concern in his eyes, "why don't you sit with her?"

Nodding and walking the couple of steps to Lexi's side, "yeah, I think I might." he says, as he pulls up a stool, taking her hand in his.

"So doc, can I sit with Sheppard?"

"Yes Ronon, go right ahead. Carson, will you continue to keep an eye on him for me?" Keller asks, taking her eyes off Lorne and Lexi, "I want to stay with her."

Heading for John's room, following Ronon and looking over his shoulder, "aye love. Not a problem."

Stepping up to the side of Lexi's bed and bringing up her chart on the computer, "thanks." she says, as she makes a few notations on it.

Seeing Keller from the corner of his eye, "doc, she's hot."

Clicking save and looking at him, "as I said, she's dehydrated. A rise in her temp is to be expected. It's one of the symptoms." and coming around to the other side, she reaches for Lexi's wrist, smiling as she lets out a soft moan at her touch, "and I believe she's waking up now. Lexi can you open your eyes for me?"

The last thing Lexi remembers is falling. As her brain comes on line, an image of John lying in his infirmary bed seizing due to his temperature being too high, has her eyes snapping open and her bolting upright.

Blinking her eyes a couple of times, she sees Lorne's concerned face in her line of vision and slumping against the pillows as the room spins, "John's...seizing." she manages to croak out.

Seeing the panic in her eyes, he squeezes her hand gently and looking from her to Keller and back, "Lexi, he's fine. Beckett and Ronon are with hi..."

The words are drowned out, as from John's room, Beckett's shouts for a cooling blanket and sedatives slice through the otherwise quiet infirmary.

Keller turns and runs for the cabinet where they keep the cooling blankets and shouting over her shoulder, "Major, keep her in that bed. I'll be right back."

Lorne's eyes are glued to the end of the infirmary, where the noise is coming from. He nods his head at her as she runs off, but doesn't realize the reason for her order until he feels Lexi shifting in the bed, pulling her hand out of his.

Bringing his eyes back to her, "and where do you think you're going?" he asks, sitting on the edge of the bed, placing both hands on her shoulders and pushing her gently back against the pillows.

Struggling against his grip, "Evan, let me up. I've got to get to John."

Tightening his grip and looking her in the eyes, "you heard Keller. You need to stay here."

Looking past him towards John's room, "no I have to be in there." she says, continuing to struggle against him, "I need to..."

"Lexi love, where do you think you're going?"

She stops struggling against Lorne's grip and as he turns his head to see Beckett coming over to them, she slumps against the pillows again, "Carson, what's going on?"

Sighing and coming to stand next to her, "I had to sedate him." and looking at her sternly, "why didn't you listen to me when I told you to go get something to eat?"

Looking past him, "I ah..." and seeing Keller coming up to them as well, Ronon in tow, "Jen, can I see him?"

Coming to a stop at the foot of the bed, "no. I want you to rest. Rodney and Teyla are on their way, with the tray of food I ordered for you, which you're going to eat."

"But.."

"No buts. You should've listened to Carson this morning instead of fighting with them." she scolds, pointing at Lorne and Ronon and crossing her arms over her chest, "how did you know?"

Seeing everyone staring at her, she squirms a little in the bed, "how did I know what?"

Sighing in frustration, "don't play dumb with me. How did you know that Colonel Sheppard was about to seize?

Beckett looks from her to Lexi and back, shock written across his face, "what do you mean she knew?"

Lorne turns to face him, "right before we heard you calling for help, she woke up and it was the first thing out of her mouth. I thought she was still dreaming, but then we heard you."

"And that's why I'm asking. Lexi, how did you know?"

"Asking her how she knew what?"

Everyone turns to see Teyla and McKay walking towards them, Teyla carrying a food tray. She places it down on a rolling table and as she moves it over Lexi's lap, McKay comes to stand next to Keller and seeing everyone refocusing on Lexi, "well?"

"Well Rodney, it looks like Teyla might not be the only one with telepathic abilities." Beckett says, smiling at the look of confusion that crosses McKay's face.

"Huh? You mean that Lexi has Wraith DNA as well?"

Rubbing her hands over her face and slouching further down on the bed, "I don't have Wraith DNA, Rodney and I don't know how I knew Jen. I just did."

"What did she know?" Teyla asks.

"She knew that Colonel Sheppard was going to have a seizure, before he had it." Keller says, and looking at Lexi, "Lexi, eat." and turning to face everyone else, "why don't we go chat in my office?"

Lexi watches as everyone heads off towards Keller's office, Keller trying to calm McKay down and everyone else, walking behind them. Eyeing the food tray and realizing that Teyla is still standing next to the bed, "what is it?"

Smiling, "chicken soup." and seeing the apprehension and worry on her face, "would you like me to stay with you?"

Returning the smile, lifting the cover off the bowl of soup and taking a bite, "no. I'm fine. Thanks though."

Turning to head for Keller's office, "all right. But if you change your mind, just call."

"Thanks Teyla." she says around bites of the soup and she watches as Teyla nods and disappears into Keller's office. She tries to eat more of the soup, which is proving difficult, as her appetite is still non-existent. Giving up and pushing the table away from her, she leans back against the pillows and closes her eyes, sighing as her head is killing her.

xxxx

She lies there for a couple of minutes with her eyes closed, trying to ignore the pounding behind her eyes and that's when she hears it. At first, her eyes snap open and she looks around the immediate vicinity, wondering where the sound came from. Not seeing anyone near her and listening really hard, she can hear the conversation coming from Keller's office. But something in the pit of her stomach is telling her that that was not what she heard. She closes her eyes again and a second later she hears it again. This time as she opens her eyes, she knows exactly where it came from.

Slowly she sits up and sliding her legs over the edge of the bed, she stands up. Gripping the IV pole, as the room decides to tilt on her and she closes her eyes until the head rush passes. Opening them up again, she pulls out the IV and once it is out and she has found a Band Aid to put over the wound, she begins to slowly shuffle towards John's room.

"This is crazy. I know that he's out cold, but." she says, under her breath as she reaches the room and steps inside of it.

She walks up to his bed and as she takes his left hand in hers, her head feels like it's going to split open and she drops to her knees, "ahh!"

What feels like an eternity, but in fact is only a couple of seconds later, she feels strong hands on her shoulders and she opens her eyes, searching for the owner of those hands.

Eyes locking with Lorne's, "help." she whimpers out, tears streaming down her face.

"Lexi let go of his hand." Beckett says as he kneels down next to her and reaching for her left wrist, he grimaces as he feels her pulse racing under his fingertips.

Looking at him, "can't...he's...in...pain." she hiccups out, as she is now shaking and as the words leave her mouth the EKG monitor starts beeping fast, alerting everyone to the truth of her words.

Staring at her in shock, Keller quickly checks over John, excusing herself as the readings she gets from him are disconcerting to say the least. A few seconds later she hurries back into the room heading straight for his IV. Reaching it, she injects the contents of the syringe she has into it. Discarding the syringe, she looks from him to everyone else and finally her eyes come to rest on Lexi, who is now being supported by Lorne, as she is unconscious.

As she comes around the bed, kneeling down next to Beckett, who is checking Lexi's pupil reaction, the beeping from the EKG starts to slow, "Carson, what the hell is going on?"

Shrugging at her, "I have no idea." and looking at McKay, "Rodney, please go and double check the database for information on the planet you visited yesterday. Let us know if there was anything there that might have led to this." and as he stands up, "Major, I'm going to try and separate their hands. As soon as she's free settle her on the bed over there."

Maneuvering so that he can pick her up, but still keeping her up right, "got it doc."

Reaching down for Lexi's hand and noticing that McKay has yet to move, "Rodney!"

Hearing the exasperation in Beckett's voice, "oh yes, of course. I'm going." he says, drawing his eyes away from the scene and hurrying out of the room.

"Doc, what can we do?" Ronon asks.

"Honestly Ronon, the best thing is for you to go about your day." Keller says as she wipes a cool cloth over John's forehead.

"Come Ronon, let us go. I'm sure Carson and Jennifer will radio the moment there is any change." Teyla says, understanding that they will only be in the way if they stay.

Nodding and trying to pry Lexi's hand out of John's, "aye lad. As soon as we have some idea about what's going on, we'll...let you...know."

"Carson, do you need some help?"

Concentrating and shaking his head, "no I've got it."

"Doc, she's burning up." Lorne says.

Placing the wet cloth down on the tray next to John's bed and grabbing the LSD, she comes over to Lexi's side and scanning her, "he's right Carson, her temp has spiked. It's nearly as high as the Colonel's."

"Ah, there we go." Beckett says, finally prying Lexi's hand out of John's, "I can feel it, love. But I have no..."

The rest of his words are drowned out as at the same time, a blood-curdling scream issues from Lexi and John. Standing up quickly, Keller is by John's side trying to hold him down, as he is shaking so hard the bed is rattling. Beckett stands up to help, only to be torn between whom to help first, as he can see that Lexi is also shaking like a leaf in Lorne's arms.

"Damn it!" he curses and taking in the scene, an idea strikes him, "Major, put her on this bed and rest her hand on his, now."

"Okay doc." Lorne says, as he gently lifts Lexi up off the floor depositing her on the gurney, pushing it closer to John's. As soon as the beds are touching, he leans over and lays her right hand on John's left.

Immediately the alarm on the EKG shuts off and as the two of them stop shaking, Lexi's eyes flutter open.

Eyes darting around the room and coming to rest on Beckett, "hot."

"You or John?" Beckett asks and out of the corner of his eye, he sees Keller walking out of the room.

Turning her head on the pillow, seeing John lying next to her, she realizes that her hand is resting on his. Entwining her fingers with his, shifting a little in the bed and looking back at Beckett, "both." and turning her head on the pillow, locking eyes with Lorne, "tell Rodney he needs to convince Woolsey to let them go back to the planet. This has something to do with the elder who he shared the shellfish with."

Eyeing her skeptically, "how do you know that?"

Closing her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose with her left hand, "John."

"What do you mean?" Lorne asks her.

Opening her eyes, staring at him, "Evan, I can't explain it. Just trust me."

"I just got a call from the Gate room, two teams are coming in hot."

They all look over at the door to see Keller striding in, a frown on her face and an IV kit in her hand. As she hands it over to Beckett, "Dr. Cole and I can handle it, but can you handle them?" she asks, as she watches him inserting the IV into Lexi's left hand.

"Doc, let me know what happens here." Lorne says, nodding at Lexi and heading for the door, "Lexi, I'll tell him, but I've got to go."

Looking up at them, "aye. Jennifer, I've got this covered and Major do me a favor. Let Mr. Woolsey know what's going on."

Heading out of the room, "sure thing."

Keller waits a couple of seconds, scanning her eyes over Lexi and John, "are you sure you can handle them?"

Nodding at her, "I've got it. Go."

He watches her hurry out of the room and looking down at Lexi, he startles as he realizes that she has been watching him, "how are you feeling?"

Grimacing, "weird."

Matching her grimace, as he takes her pulse, "what do you mean weird?"

"I can feel everything he's feeling." and teeth starting to chatter, "did it just…get cold in here?"

Letting go of her wrist and reaching for the LSD, scanning her, "no love, it's your temp. It's fluctuating wildly." and walking around to John's right side, he scans the monitors hooked up to him, noting that his temp is starting to come down, "well that's just odd."

Looking at him, "his temp is coming down, isn't it?"

"Aye, as a matter of fact it's now down to 100.9. I think it's safe to take this off him." he says as he pulls the cooling blanket down to the foot of the bed, leaving just a sheet over John and heading for the exit, "I think we might be able to wake him up. Hang tight for just a sec, I'll be right back."

Lexi watches as he leaves the room and closing her eyes, " _I know, I told them. But they're still confused by it just as much as we are."_

" _Carson's going to wake me up right?"_

" _Yeah, he should be coming back soon. How are you feeling and don't say fine, because I'll know. Like I told Carson, I feel everything you feel."_

" _Sorry. This is really weird and I am fine. The stuff Keller gave me really did the trick."_

" _You see what happens when you tell the truth."_

" _Lexi, I don't lie when I feel like crap. I just don't admit to it. You know how I feel about being here."_

" _And you know that it only makes things worse when you don't own up to how you're really feeling. We've had this conversation so often I feel like I'm talking to a wall."_

" _Anyway. How are you feeling?"_

" _Just peachy. I just hope there's a way to fix this. I don't know how much more our bodies can take."_  and realizing that Beckett is calling her name, " _Carson's back. I'll see you back in the land of the conscious soon."_

" _Can't wait."_

She opens her eyes and seeing Beckett looking at her, concern written across his face, "what?"

Looking from her to the monitors and back, "what were you doing?"

"Ah, I was talking to him." and watching as he walks around to John's right side, reaching for the IV and uncapping the syringe he has in his hand, "has Rodney found anything yet? We have to reverse this soon."

Inserting the needle of the syringe into the IV port and looking up at her with a questioning look, "why?" he asks, as depresses the liquid into the IV.

Eyes snapping open, "Lexi?" John croaks out.

"Yeah John, I'm here."

"Colonel, how are you feeling?"

Turning his head on the pillow and seeing Beckett standing next to him, "a lot better." and looking back at Lexi, "I'm not lying Lexi. Seriously, get out of my head."

Frowning at him, "I could say the same thing to you." she says and looking at Beckett, "this would be the reason why." and as a shiver courses through her, "his temp is leveling off."

Eyeing the monitor and then John, "you're right." and realizing that she has her eyes closed now and John is watching her, still holding her hand, "Lexi?"

Looking at him, "she's fine Carson, just sleeping. Now why don't you tell me what I've missed."

Pulling up a stool and taking a seat, "well, I have to say, there is something easier about treating you, when she can read your thoughts."

Sighing and scrubbing his face tiredly, "I get it. I don't always own up to how I'm feeling. Now that we've established that, how did this happen?"

"I can answer that. Oh and nice of you to join us Sheppard."

Beckett turns on the stool to see McKay walking into the room, tablet in hand and from behind him he hears John sigh, before, "thanks McKay, I didn't know you cared."

Rolling his eyes as he comes to a stop at the foot of the bed, "right. Well anyway, you remember the pendant the village elder was wearing?"

Grimacing, "no, not really."

Seeing the grimace, "Colonel are you okay?"

"I'm good. Rodney, you were saying."

Also not missing the grimace, but ignoring it as he sees the look that Beckett is giving him, "yes. Right. Well evidently the pendant wasn't a pendant at all. It's a scanning device. Atria, Etria, whatever her name was, used it to scan all of us." he says, as he looks down at his tablet, which is beeping at him.

"Why did she scan us?" and looking over at Beckett, "Carson, she's cold."

Nodding and getting up, Beckett leaves the room. Watching him go and realizing that McKay has yet to answer him, "Rodney."

Looking up at the strain in his voice, "oh right, sorry. Anyway, she scanned us because she wanted to find someone with the ATA gene."

Sighing, "let me guess. She needed someone with a pure gene, not an artificial one."

"You guessed right."

Rubbing his right hand over his face, "and she also needed someone with the strongest gene, right?"

"Right again." and seeing his eyes starting to close, "I'll tell you the rest later."

Forcing his eyes open and seeing Beckett walking into the room, carrying a blanket, "no. Finish now."

Watching Beckett lay the blanket over Lexi, "um. I don't know if I should, you don't look that good."

Pinching the bridge of his nose, "please tell me now."

Meeting Beckett's eyes and nodding, "the scanning device allows her to mark the person who has the strongest gene and by marking them, she can use their life force to help herself become young again."

"Bloody hell. She's a vampire."

"Sort of. But, when Kennedy got hurt, the process was stopped before she could finish linking with you." McKay says, reading something on his tablet.

Closing his eyes and sighing again, "and when I ah."

Shifting uncomfortably in his chair, "yeah. When you two ah, anyway, the link established between the two of you instead. But Lexi doesn't have the scanning device and the process was not completed with what's her name, which is why you got sick. So the only way to fix this is to do as you said and go back to the planet and reverse the whole thing."

Forcing his eyes open, "but.."

Noticing the difficulty he is having staying awake, "Rodney, come with me. Let's let them rest."

Blinking his eyes a couple of times, "Carson, I'm fine. It's just..."

"Aye lad. She's asleep, which is making you tired. I also imagine that this link is quite draining on the both of you. Get some sleep. Rodney and I will be right outside."

Letting his eyes shut, "thanks...guys."

Walking with Beckett out of the room, "don't worry Sheppard, we'll fix this."

Taking a seat right outside of it, "Rodney, if we take him back to the planet, we're gonna have to take her as well. The last time we tried to separate them it wasn't good."

"I'm not surprised about that. According to the information the database has on the scanner, once the link is created, physical contact has to be maintained until the transfer of life essence is complete."

"Does it say how to reverse this without allowing Annia to kill the Colonel?"

"Annia, that's right, that was her name."

"Rodney."

"Yes and once we've reversed the link they should be okay."

Eyebrows shooting up, "should be?"

Sighing, "yeah. The database doesn't say that this has ever happened before. Evidently the Ancient that created the scanner, was able to always complete the link with her intended victim. I don't want to think how Annia got a hold of it. Unless, she's an Ancient." he says, his eyes lighting up at the thought.

"But Rodney, if Annia is an Ancient, that would mean."

Standing up and heading for the exit to the infirmary, "I know Carson. Get them ready to go, I'm gonna go brief Woolsey and Major Lorne."

  


  
  
  
  



	39. Chapter 39

  


Beckett watches as McKay hurries out of the infirmary and after staring off into space for a couple of seconds, he shakes his head to clear it. Looking around the infirmary, "Katya, grab who you need and let's get Colonel Sheppard and Dr. Carter ready for transport."

Katya's "yes doctor." follows him through the door and a few minutes later, he and his team are getting John and Lexi ready for the trip back to the planet.

Two hours later, just as he is about to storm into Woolsey's office to let him know that they are running out of time, Lorne comes by to tell him that they are geared up and have Jumpers waiting to ferry them to the planet.

Sighing in relief, he and his team wheel John and Lexi to the Jumper bay and reaching it they all load into the Jumpers. As soon as Jumper one clears the Gate in orbit around the planet, Lorne takes them down into the atmosphere.

Radioing Captain Searmen, who is piloting Jumper two with the marine back up, Woolsey insisted upon, "Captain, we're gonna land a click away from the village. Stay cloaked and hover above our position. We'll radio if we need your assistance."

"Understood sir. Searmen out."

Landing the Jumper and powering down, "all right people, stay alert. Doc, you and your team stay in the middle, with Sheppard and Lexi. Sergeant Koto, you take point with me, Ronon, Teyla take our six, with Rivers."

With nods of understanding, the group moves out. It takes a while to reach the center of the village and as they do so, "am I the only one who feels that?"

"No Rodney, you are right, I'm sensing something as well." Teyla says, shifting her P90 closer to her body.

"All right defensive positions around Sheppard and Lexi." Lorne commands and taking up his position in the circle that is now forming, "McKay, anything on the life signs detector?"

Looking at the scanner, nervously, "no noth...oh wait."

"What is it?" Ronon growls, eyes darting around, powering up his blaster.

"I'm getting a reading from our twelve o'clock position."

As the words leave his mouth, Lexi and John bolt upright on their respective stretchers. Beckett and his staff move to push them to lie down again.

Hearing the commotion, Lorne turns around, "doc, what's going on?"

Getting John settled and seeing Katya lying Lexi back down, checking her vitals, "I don't know, they're conscious but." checking John's pupil reactions and vitals and looking at Katya for confirmation, "they're unresponsive. Whatever is going on we need that scanner now."

Nodding and turning back around, "all right doc. You got it. McKay, Ronon, Teyla and Rivers you're with me. We'll go in, get the scanner and get out. Koto, you stay here with Beckett."

"Yes sir." Koto says.

"All right people let's move out." and as they start walking, he hits his radio, "Searmen, you on vox?"

"Yes sir. We'll hover above the doc. Radio if you need us."

"Will do. Lorne out." and looking over his shoulder at Beckett, "doc, we'll stay in radio contact. Let us know if their condition changes."

"Hurry, son." Beckett says, focusing on his two patients, frowning as he sees the pain etched across their foreheads, their eyes closed again. Scanning John with the LSD again, frown deepening as his temp has risen again, "Katya, what's her temp?"

"102, doctor. Her pulse is also racing."

"Aye, as is the Colonel's. They better get back soon."

xxxx

" _Lexi?"_

" _Yeah John. I'm...here."_

" _Did you...feel that?"_

" _Yeah. She knows...we're here. How are you?"_

" _Nothing I can't...handle. But...she's not happy...that you're here."_

" _I know." and feeling Annia starting to lash out at her, she starts to seize as the pain is more than she can take, "John...help."_

 _Hearing the pleading in her voice, "Lexi!"_ _and not getting any answer he tries again, "Lexi, come on...talk to me."_

" _She won't talk to you young man. I have silenced her."_

 _Realizing that Annia has finally shown up and panicking at the malice he hears in her voice, "what do...you mean, you silenced...her. Is she...is she dead?"_

" _No. She is just silenced. But I will kill her if you don't agree to let me use you."_

" _Ha. McKay will...never let me live...this one down. Why is it...that Ancient women only...ever seem to want me...for my gene?"_

" _I see that you know that I am what you call an Ancient."_

" _Yeah, well when McKay...said that the scanner allowed you...to sap my life force away, I kinda figured."_

All of a sudden the voice in his head quiets and he's looking into the concerned eyes of Beckett, "doc?"

"Aye son. I woke you to let you know that you have to keep doing whatever you're doing."

"So...I have...to keep talking...to her?"

Nodding, "if that is what you're doing, then yes. Rodney just radioed to say that while she is distracted, she is less focused on stopping them from getting the scanner."

Grimacing as a sharp stabbing pain lances through his chest, "how's...Lexi?"

Eyeing the portable EKG monitor, but not wanting to add to the pressure he knows John is under, "she's strong John. Don't worry about her, just focus on what you're doing."

Eyes sliding shut, "got it...Carson, I'll...do my best." and Beckett's "I know lad." follows him into unconsciousness.

 _The next thing he is aware of is the feeling of unimaginable cold, "Annia, I'm back. Where...are you?"_

 _Appearing in front of him and gently stroking his face, "yes I see that you are. Where did you go? Have you decided to give yourself to me to save your love and your friends?"_

" _I ah, I had to...go speak with someone...for a little while. What do...you mean, save...my friends?"_

" _Well, while you were gone, I attacked them. I know that they are here to try and take the scanner away from me. But they will have no luck, as the only way for them to get it is for me to die."_

 _Shrinking away from her touch, "did you...hurt them?"_

 _Laughing as she advances on him again, "no. I only distracted them."_

 _Feeling her touch, he steps away from her, as just being near her causes him pain, "if you can...die, then that...means that you're...not ascended."_

" _That's right. I was banished here for going against the council. I was forced to retake human form and live my life as a human. But, the council did not know that I had hidden the scanner on this planet. As soon as I retook human form, I came here and began using it to keep me alive."_

 _Stumbling a little and sitting down, pulling his knees into his chest and resting his head on them as he feels himself weakening, "let me...guess. I was the...first victim to get...away from you."_

 _Frowning and kneeling next to him, "yes you were. I see you are feeling the effects of the draining."_

 _Looking up at her, "I thought that...the link was never...established between us. How can...you already be...sapping the energy...from me?"_

" _The minute you came through the Gate, I was able to start using not only you, but your love as well. By using both of you, I will not have to use another for a very long time." she says, a smile playing across her lips._

 _Pinching the bridge of his nose and fanning himself, "did...someone...just turn...up the heat?"_

" _Yes. As I drain you're life force away, you're body temperature will rise, until eventually it along with other things will kill you."_

 _Staring at her, anger starting to boil inside of him, "and you're doing...the same thing...to Lexi, aren't you?"_

" _Yes. But as I said before, I will spare her and your friends if you agree to give yourself to me. I am draining your life force now, but cannot fully drain you unless you agree to it."_

 _Breaking down into a fit of laughter and feeling himself weakening even more, "sorry to break it...to you, but I'll...never give in and don't...think that my friends...will give up without...a fight either."_

" _You would kill your love to save yourself?"_

" _Lexi knows...that I would never...do that. She knows...that I would protect...her no matter what. But I will never...give myself up to you."_

" _But by not submitting to me, you are killing not only her but your friends as well."_

 _Resting his head on his knees again, "I'm not...going...to go there." he says, and he hears her growl in frustration._

 _The next thing that registers is an excruciating pain in his chest and head and looking up quickly he startles as her face is inches from his and her hands are on his shoulders, "what're…you...doing?"_

 _Smiling, "I am going to take your life without your consent. I cannot wait any longer."_

 _Taking a deep breath and closing his eyes, he concentrates really hard, trying to ignore the pain she is causing him and just as it feels like she is winning, he hears her scream in agony and everything dissolves into nothingness._

xxxx

Beckett had watched as John had drifted off into unconsciousness again, worried as hell at the readings coming from the monitors. About twenty minutes later, he scrambles to reach for the defibrillator as John flat lines. Shocking him twice, he lets out a sigh of relief as John's heart starts beating again. The moment lasts only seconds as Lexi flat lines as well. As Katya gets her heart going again, Beckett radios Lorne, telling him again to "hurry."

An hour later, he is at his wits end. Not only have John and Lexi crashed twice more, but their bodies are starting to shut down and there is nothing he can do. Just as he is about to radio Lorne again to find out how the mission is going, his attention is drawn to the monitors and as Katya shouts, "she's in V-fib, give me the paddles!" John goes into V-fib as well.

He rushes to John's side taking the paddles from corpsman Bailey and he shocks him, as Katya shocks Lexi. They let out sighs of relief as the monitors switch from erratic beeping to a normal rhythm after only one jolt, each. As he hands the paddles off to corpsman Bailey, his radio goes off and raising his hand to his ear to activate it, "yes Rodney, what is it?"

"We're on our way with the scanner. How are they?"

Scanning the monitors and seeing the readings, "they don't have much time left."

"Doc, we'll be there in two zero minutes. Lorne out."

Sighing and sitting back on his heels, scrubbing his face, "hang on you two. Just twenty minutes more and we'll hopefully have you patched up."

Twenty minutes later, just as Beckett and Katya are shocking John and Lexi again, the group shows up.

"Oh..my...g-d..Carson..here." McKay gulps out around catching his breath.

Handing the paddles off to corpsman Bailey and taking the scanner from McKay, "Rodney, what do I do with this bloody thing?"

"Carson, place it on John's chest and press the button in the center." Teyla says, as McKay is still trying to pull in oxygen.

"Doc, make sure there is still physical contact between them." Lorne adds on.

Placing the device on John's chest and making sure that his hand is resting on Lexi's, he presses the button.

When nothing happens, he looks at the monitors, not happy with the readings, "this is taking too long."

"Give it a sec Carson." McKay says,.

Everyone stands there watching the scanner and just as Ronon lets out a growl of frustration, the scanner starts to glow. As the light starts to grow and encompass John and finally Lexi, everyone shields their eyes against it.

As it fades, Beckett manually checks John's vitals, as Katya checks Lexi's. After looking at her and seeing her smile, he looks at everyone else, a tired smile spreading across his lips, "let's get them home."

xxxx

Drifting in a swirling mist of warmth and comfort, John slowly starts to resurface. As he does so he realizes how utterly exhausted and drained he feels and instead of waking up, all he wants to do is let the darkness swallow him again. As he shifts in the bed, however, the feeling of the catheter makes itself known and he lets out a small moan.

"Colonel can you open your eyes for me?"

He recognizes Beckett's voice, but ignoring it, he tries to drop back off to sleep again and then the incident with Annia flashes through his brain and he remembers that he wasn't the only one who was in trouble.

"Come on John, it's time to wake up now." he hears Beckett say and forcing his eyes open, he lifts a hand to his face, scrubbing it. He feels the nasal cannula under his nose, more than a little stuble on his chin and the pull of the IV in his hand and finally focusing on Beckett, "Lexi?"

Smiling and pointing, "she's right over there, lad. She's asleep right now, but woke up for the first time about an hour ago."

Turning his head on the pillow, he smiles, but it quickly fades as he runs his eyes over her, taking in all the wires and tubes in and on her and turning his head back to Beckett, "she doesn't look good."

"Like you look any better, sir." Lorne says, walking into the room and coming to stand at the foot of the bed, "good to see you up."

Looking up at him from taking John's blood pressure, "Major, I thought I sent you to your quarters to get some sleep."

Walking over to chair that is on Lexi's right side, "you did doc. But I couldn't sleep."

Taking his eyes off of Lexi and looking from Lorne to Beckett, "how long have we been out?"

Sighing and scowling at Lorne, who is now leaning back in the chair, looking just as exhausted as his two patients, "two days, lad. You both had us really worried. Your team and the Major have been here non-stop. I sent them all to get some sleep and something to eat, after Lexi woke up. But as you can see, he's the first one to not obey orders. I expect to see the others soon."

Turning his head to look at Lorne again, "I take it that Annia is gone?"

Smiling and yawning, "yeah. Thanks by the way. We wouldn't have been able to defeat her if you hadn't been keeping her occupied."

Matching Lorne's yawn, "no problem. I'm just glad the device worked."

Catching the yawn, "all right. Major, you can stay, but only for an hour. Colonel you get some rest. Both of you should be well enough to be released by tomorrow night, now that you've woken up."

Eyes closing and smiling, "really, doc? You're not keeping us here?"

Smiling at Lorne, who is chuckling under his breath, "that's right Colonel, I'm gonna be a softy." and seeing that John is asleep, he points a finger at his watch and then at Lorne, "one hour Major, I'll be coming in to kick you out."

"Got it doc."

xxxx

Lexi hears light snoring and not sure where it is coming from she opens her eyes. Turning her head on the pillow, her eyes come to rest first on Lorne who is passed out, chin to chest in the chair next to her bed and looking down at her hand, she sees that it is in his.

She smiles as she turns her head on the pillow again and on her left she sees all of John's teammates asleep as well. Ronon has his legs propped up on the end of John's bed, his arms crossed over his chest, his head leaning against the back of the chair. McKay also has his legs propped up on the edge of the bed, tablet resting precariously on his lap, head tipped to the side, his mouth open. Teyla has her legs curled up under her, her head resting on her hand.

Her eyes settle on John and she startles a little as his eyes are now open and he is staring back at her, a smile on his lips, "hey you." she whispers.

"Hey back."

She looks around the room again and seeing that the lights are on night cycle lighting, "I guess it's late."

"Yeah. You know that they've been here for a while."

Eyes coming to rest on him again, "I know. They showed up again an hour after you woke up. I woke up to them trying not to wake Evan up. They must've fallen asleep sometime after I did."

Shifting a little in the bed and grimacing at the pull of the catheter, "how're you feeling?"

"Like crap, but better then I was. How bout you?"

"Yeah, crap about sums it up. But hey, Beckett says we're getting out of here tomorrow night. Which I don't really get."

Shaking her head, "the reason why is because the device not only reversed the link, but it healed us, completely."

Frowning, "then why won't he release us now?"

Sighing, "because we were unconscious for two days."

"Oh, okay." and realizing that he hasn't seen Keller, "where's Keller?"

"There was an outbreak of flu at the Athosian camp."

"Is everyone okay?"

"Yeah. She radioed in while I was awake and said that she would be getting back some time tomorrow."

Yawning, "good I'm glad. But can we..." he trails off as he sees her glaring at him and smiling sheepishly, "what?"

Laughing softly, "John, I don't need that link to know what you're thinking. I've known you long enough now to know how to read you. You want to sneak out of here and head to my quarters, even though we wouldn't get two feet before everyone here would stop us."

Nodding and letting his eyes slide shut, "yeah, I guess you're right." he says.

She takes one more look around the room at everyone and smiles to herself. As right now she can't believe how lucky she is to be surrounded by such amazing people, that she has come to love just as much as her family. With that thought she closes her eyes and also falls asleep.

xxxx

The following afternoon, Beckett walks into the room to find Lexi and John sitting up in their beds. He sees John reading a magazine, or more accurately, flipping through it, looking completely bored out of his mind and Lexi is contentedly sitting in hers, her tablet in hand, running through her emails.

Coughing to announce his arrival, he smiles as they look up at him, "well you two, how do you feel about getting out of here?" he asks, as he comes to a stop in between them.

John drops the magazine onto his lap and sighing, "it's about damn time doc!"

Looking up from her tablet again, raising an eyebrow, "really John. Be nice." she scolds, as she winks at Beckett, as he checks John over first.

Nodding his head, "I'm sorry Colonel. I know how much you hate it here. But you went through quite an ordeal and I don't care that the scanner healed you. As I told Lexi yesterday, you're gonna feel a wee bit drained for the next couple of days. So forgive me if I want to keep an eye on you."

Glaring at John over Beckett's shoulder, she smiles as she sees him pouting, "don't pay any attention to Colonel mopes a lot, Carson. He's just upset that he's not going to be cleared for active duty for three more days."

"Don't worry love. I never do. Anyway, let me just go call your team Colonel and we'll get you back to Lexi's quarters."

"I'm not leaving here in a wheel chair Carson." John says, making it a statement, as he crosses his arms over his chest and glares at Beckett.

Walking out of the room and smiling over his shoulder at them, "we'll see about that John."

Watching him walk out of the room and hearing Lexi sniggering, he turns his head to glare at her, "what?"

Getting her laughter under control, she swings her legs over the side of the bed so that she is facing him. Getting up, she comes to sit on the edge of his and taking his hand in hers, "it's nothing. You just confuse the hell outta me sometimes."

Raising an eyebrow, "how?"

Leaning over, she kisses him on the lips and as she pulls away, she sees the smile on his lips, "well, I know that I feel as if I could sleep for a week and that wouldn't even begin to scratch the surface of how wiped I feel. But you, you want to walk out of here."

Reaching up and brushing a piece of hair out of her eyes, "Lexi, I hate it when I look weak. I can't let anyone see me like that."

Staring at him in shock, "okay who are you and what have you done with the real John Sheppard?" and seeing the annoyance flash through his eyes, "oh come on, that was a little funny."

Frowning at her, "ha, ha. It was so funny I forgot to laugh."

Rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb, "John, I don't think there is anyone on this base who would consider you weak."

"I'll second that, sir."

They look over at the door to see Lorne walking in, a tablet in his hand and as he comes to a stop at the foot of the bed, "Lexi, what are you doing out of bed? Beckett hasn't released you yet."

Letting go of John's hand, rolling her eyes and walking the few steps back to her bed, "I'm fine Evan."

Shaking his head in amusement and looking at John, turning serious, "sir, Lexi's right. The only people who might consider you weak are the newbies and trust me when I tell you that that lasts about a nano second."

Feeling the heat rise on the back of his neck and not meeting Lorne's eyes, "thanks, Lorne. But still."

"John, just accept the fact that it's okay if you take a wheel chair ride back to my quarters. No one will think any less of you." and looking at Lorne, seeing him nod, "and if anyone does, there will be a long line of people who will teach them a thing or two."

Looking at her and rubbing the back of his neck, "fine. But I still don't like it." and noticing the tablet in Lorne's hands, "what's with the tablet?" he asks, pointing at it.

Handing it over, "this is the real reason I stopped by. Woolsey wants your mission report from M4T-098 ASAP."

"You know sometimes I think that git doesn't understand the meaning of grounded."

They all look over at the door to see Beckett walking into the room, a scowl on his face and as he comes to stand next to Lorne, "Colonel, you are not to write it up until I've cleared you. Mr. Woolsey can wait for it and I'll tell him so."

Sighing and handing the tablet back to Lorne, "okay doc. Sorry Major."

Smiling as he takes the tablet back, "no problem, sir. I would have told him the same thing, but I don't think he's scared of me."

Rolling his eyes, "very funny Major."

"Carson, how's the research going?" Lexi asks, changing the topic.

"You mean the research into the data that we got from planet with the night of the living dead people?" he asks, a visible shiver running through him.

Lexi sees it and also sees the same reaction in John out of the corner of her eye, "yeah. Sorry I didn't mean to bring up bad memories."

Plastering a smile on his face, "no problem love. I've just about done as much as I can. I'm gonna probably spend a couple more days on it and then head off world."

"So are we getting out of here any time soon?" John asks, getting antsy again.

Sharing a look with Lorne and Lexi, "yes. As soon as your team arrives. They want to escort you."

Looking at his watch and back up at them, "well then, I'm gonna head out." and heading for the door, looking over his shoulder, "feel better you two. I'll stop by later to update you on everything, sir."

Watching him leave, "thanks Lorne." John says, and looking at Beckett who is standing by the computer next to his bed, typing notes on it., "so doc, about the wheel chair."

Hitting save on the chart, "sorry Colonel. I know I said we'd see about it. But I've changed my mind and decided that you're not getting out of it."

Sighing and scrubbing his hands over his face, "that's okay."

Nearly dropping his penlight and staring at him, "it is?"

Looking from him to Lexi, who is smiling at him, "yeah. Someone talked some sense into me."

Seeing him staring at Lexi and smiling, "good lad. You two hang tight and I'll go see what's keeping everyone."

Not breaking eye contact with him and hearing that Beckett is out of the room, "you okay?" she asks, not having missed his shoulders starting to slump.

Rubbing his face again and resting his head back against the pillow, "yeah, I'm good, just tired. You were right and even though I hate to admit it, I don't get how you knew."

Coming to sit on the edge of his bed again, "well first off, don't forget that this time, you're not the only one who feels like they just ran two marathons back to back." and running her fingers through his hair, smiling as he closes his eyes and sighs, "and second, you might think that that mask of yours fools everyone. But, it doesn't fool Carson, Jen, your team and me."

Opening his eyes and staring at her, "damn it and here I thought that I'd gotten really good at keeping everyone at arms length."

Leaning forward, she kisses him and as she pulls away, "John, you are really good at it. But your team, Carson and Jen, they're family and with family you just know when something is off. You don't need to say anything."

"But what about you?"

Chuckling, "you really are clueless sometimes you know that?" and seeing the confusion written across his face, "you let me in a long time ago, whether you realized it or not."

Sitting up he kisses her and as he pulls away, keeping her face in his hands, "even after everything you saw from that stupid chair?"

Pulling her face out of his hands, but wrapping her arms around his neck, "we already had that conversation and I forgave you."

Pulling her into a hug, "I love you, you know that?"

"Yeah, I got that. You know I love you too, right?"

Chuckling, but it quickly turns into a yawn, "yeah and that just blows my mind sometimes. Especially with my track record."

She is just about to say something, when they hear the sounds of his team walking towards their room. She quickly slides out of his arms and just as she's sitting down on her bed, Ronon, Teyla, who is carrying Torren, McKay and Beckett all come walking into the room.

"Yeah, but Carson, I thought you said they were healed." McKay says as he leads the group in.

Shaking his head as he comes to a stop at the foot of John's bed, "Rodney, they were healed, but they're still recovering. So don't worry if they tire easily, they just need to rest." and looking from McKay to John and Lexi, "and I do mean rest you two."

Looking at Lexi and rolling his eyes at Beckett, "yeah doc, we know what the word means."

"John, knowing what the word means and actually doing what it means are two entirely different things." Teyla says, and having a hard time holding onto Torren, who is desperately reaching for John, "oh, all right Torren. John do you mind?"

Holding out his hands, "no Teyla, not at all." he says, a huge smile on his face, as she hands him over.

As soon as Torren is in his hands, everyone watches as he flies him around and seeing this, "you know Teyla, I think Torren is going to be a pilot." Lexi says.

Looking from her son, giggling excitedly as he flies through the air, to Lexi, "well if John is his teacher, I'll be just fine with that."

As she finishes speaking, John settles Torren in his lap and looking at Beckett, "so, are we all good to go?"

"Yes." and looking at Ronon, "Ronon, would you mind helping me with the wheel chairs?"

Pushing himself off the wall and following Beckett out of the room, looking back at John over his shoulder, "sure doc."

"Wait, you actually agreed to it?" McKay asks, staring at John, shocked.

Sighing and handing Torren back to Teyla, "yeah. I did. But only this once."

Seeing that McKay is about to go off on one of his tangents and that John doesn't have the energy right now to deal with him, "Rodney, I asked him if he would do it, so that I wouldn't be the only one riding in one."

Catching her eye, John mouths "thank you." just as Ronon and Beckett walk back in, wheeling the wheel chairs in front of them.

Beckett locks the chair he has next to Lexi's bed and Ronon does the same with his next to John's. They climb out of their beds and with Beckett and Ronon's help, they are seated in their respective chairs, in seconds.

John puts his hands out to Teyla and as she hands Torren over, "hey there buddy, you want to go for a ride?" he asks with a wink at Ronon.

Seeing the wink as she steps behind Lexi, "ah John, what are you doing?"

As Ronon wheels him out, he looks over his shoulder, "nothing Teyla, don't worry."

Looking after her teammates, "you do not think..."

"Don't worry love. I'm sure they won't do anything too stupid. They would never put him in harms way." and looking down at Lexi, "well all right then. Now I know if I tell you stay in bed and rest for the next three days, you'll make sure that he does as well."

Smiling, "I'll try Carson, but I won't promise anything." and seeing the scowl, "look, he feels just as worn out as I do and I have a feeling that once we're back in my quarters, I won't have to do much, in way of convincing him to sleep."

Returning the smile, "good lass. Now, if you two want something to eat, you can head down to the mess, otherwise radio me and I'll have something sent to your quarters."

"Will do Carson." and nodding at Teyla to push her out of the room, "will you be doing our clearance check or will Jen?"

"I believe Jennifer will be doing it, as I'll be getting ready to head off world."

Stopping at the exit to the infirmary and looking up at him, "thanks Carson. For everything."

Blushing, "och, it was nothing love. I'm just glad you two are well."

With that Teyla pushes her out the door and from down the hall they can hear the excited screams of Torren and before she knows it, they are confronted with the sight of Ronon running as fast as he can, pushing the wheel chair in front of him.

Coming to an abrupt stop next to McKay, who is standing off to the side in the hallway, his mouth hanging open in shock, "Ronon, John! What are you doing?" Teyla shouts.

Ronon puts on the breaks and the wheel chair comes to a screeching stop right in front of them. They look at Teyla and seeing the anger and worry plastered on her face, they don't meet her eyes, "how could you, I mean oh, my g-d!"

Looking up at her finally, "Teyla, we wouldn't have let him get hurt." John says, looking decidedly guilty.

Seeing Torren smiling and giggling happily in his arms, her expression softens, "I know that. But please, next time do not let me see you doing it." and turning to look at McKay, who is still frozen to the spot, "Rodney, you can breathe now."

Shaking his head, "what? Oh right."

They all head for the transporters, chatting and laughing and twenty minutes later John and Lexi are alone in her quarters, in bed, watching a movie on her tablet.

xxxx

The next three days pass without any problems, as Lexi was right in her assumption that once John was in her quarters, the fact that he did feel just as bad as she did would assert itself.

Although by the time Keller clears them on the afternoon of the third day, John is jumping out of his skin to get back on duty. After being cleared, he walks Lexi to her office, as she needs to catch up on some work and after making her promise to meet him in the Gate room in fifteen minutes to say good bye to Beckett, he heads for Beckett's quarters.

As he reaches them, he hears McKay's voice, "can't believe you're leaving already. You've been here, like, less than two weeks." and just before he enters, he hears Beckett's answer, "well, I've completed my research into Michael's test subjects and passed my findings on to Doctor Lynch and his team and now it's time to move onto the more important work of saving lives."

Smiling to himself as he walks in the room, "hey, Doc."

"Maybe I spoke to soon. Another off-world situation requiring my expertise?"

Gesturing to the suitcase, "actually, I just came to see if you needed some help."

"Oh. Much appreciated."

Sticking his hands in his pockets, "oh and by the way, how's Porter?"

Looking from John to Beckett, confusion written across his face, "who?"

Ignoring McKay, his face lighting up, "she's fine. A couple of weeks of R and R and then she'll be back in the Pegasus galaxy. You know Colonel, someone like her could be of real benefit to the type of work I'll be doing."

Raising an eyebrow and swinging his hand out from his pocket, "yeah, I'll bet." John says.

"Who's Porter?" McKay asks.

Picking up a suitcase and heading for the door, "something you might want to mention to Mr. Woolsey."

Bending down to pick up another suitcase, "yeah, consider it done." John says, as he turns for the doors.

"Thank you." Beckett says, smiling, as he walks out of the room, next to him.

Watching them walk away from him, McKay shouts, "fine, you know what? I don't even want to know! Don't tell me!" and standing in the quarters for a couple of seconds, he thinks about it and realizing that he does in fact want to know who Porter is, he heads for the exit too, saying, "okay, come on, tell me!"

John and Beckett laugh as they hear the doors closing on McKay and turning to look at John, who is still moving a little slower than usual, "you know he won't be happy about that."

"Yeah, I know. But I couldn't help it."

Really looking him over, "I take it Jennifer cleared you and Lexi?"

Nodding and shifting the suitcase to his other hand, "yeah about twenty minutes ago, actually."

Stopping at the transporter, turning to look at him, "John, tell me the truth, how are you feeling?"

Smiling as he hits the control panel, "I'm good, Carson. Honest. Lexi didn't let me do anything for the past seventy-two hours. We didn't even, ah..."

Smiling at the blush that is now creeping John's his neck, as they step into the transporter, "no need to say it son. I get it." and as they step out of the transporter and walk into the Gate room he stops short, "what's all this now?"

Pulling him towards the group of people waiting in the Gate room, "well, a few people wanted to be here to see you off." John says with a smile.

Letting himself be pulled towards the group, he looks around to see, Ronon, Teyla, holding Torren, Keller, Lorne, Lexi, Woolsey and McKay all crowding around them, "och, you didn't all have to be here."

Rolling his eyes, "of course we'd be here." McKay says as he holds out his hand for Beckett to take.

Taking his hand, "thanks Rodney. Now be good and don't give Jennifer too much trouble."

Shaking his hand, "what, me? Cause trouble. I highly doubt that."

Everyone tries to keep from laughing and as he lets go of McKay's hand, Keller steps up to him next, pulling him into a hug, "take care Carson and remember if you need any help let me know."

Pulling away, a smile on his lips, "thanks Jennifer. I'll keep that in mind."

The next person to say good-bye is Teyla, who handing Torren off to Lexi, bows her head and as he meets hers with his, "be well. We shall see you soon."

Pulling away from her, "aye love. Now you take care of that wee one there, as well as this lot." he says, pointing at John, McKay and Ronon, smiling wide.

Seeing her nod, he feels a large hand clasping down on his shoulder and turning his head he catches the smile on Ronon's face.

Pulling him into a big bear hug, "take care doc." and as he releases him, "be careful out there."

Smiling, "I will son. Don't worry."

The next person to say good bye is Lorne, who taking his hand and shaking it, "take it easy doc. We'll come and check up on you."

"Thanks Major snd keep an eye on Jamie for me."

Smiling and nodding as he lets go of his hand, "will do."

Coming to stand in front of Woolsey, "well Mr. Woolsey, you couldn't have asked for a better group of people to command, take care of them and yourself."

Shaking his hand, "thank you Doctor. You take care as well."

The two men let go of each others hands and Woolsey heads back up to the control room, with a nod at the others.

Stopping in front of Lexi and John, Beckett smiles as Lexi pulls him into a hug, "take care Carson. We'll miss you and thanks for everything."

Pulling away from her and kissing her on the cheek, "you're welcome love. I'll miss you too." and looking from her to John and back, "take care of him."

Looking at John, she smiles at the eye roll and looking back at Beckett, "I'll do my best."

Holding out his hand towards John, "well John."

Taking his hand and shaking it, "I know. Be good and keep everyone safe."

Letting go of his hand, "that goes for yourself as well, son." he says, as he bends over to pick up his suitcases.

Nodding his head and smiling, "I'll try Carson."

Taking one last look at everyone, he smiles and walks to the Gate. He stops just at the horizon and nodding at everyone, he steps through.

As the Gate shuts down, everyone stands there watching it for a couple of seconds. McKay breaks the silence and everyone heads off for their respective duties. That evening, John and Lexi go for a light run with Ronon and afterwards they head back to her quarters and fall asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillows.

  


  
  
  
  



	40. Chapter 40

  


A couple of weeks later Lexi is sitting on the bench on the southwest balcony reading through her emails. She had been cooped up in her office all day in sessions and as soon as she had gotten a chance to take a lunch almost dinner break, she had come out here to run through her emails and have a bite to eat.

Halfway through the hundred or so emails that have flooded her email account in just the past hour, she hears the doors swish open and without looking up she knows who has come to join her.

"So this is where you're hiding."

Looking up, she sees John smiling down at her and smiling back at him, "I wasn't hiding. I just needed some fresh air." and as he sits down next to her, staring out at the sky, "how's Teyla doing?"

Turning his head to her, a grimace playing across his face, "well, she's back to her normal self. But she seems a little freaked out by the whole thing." and under his breath, "I know I sure am."

Raising an eyebrow at him, "what was that?"

Smiling at her, "oh nothing. Anyway, I think she'll be okay, but maybe you could chat with her?"

"I was planning on it. First thing tomorrow morning."

Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, "that's good." and looking back out at the sky, "can I ask you a question?"

Shaking her head, "sure."

"What made you want to become a shrink? Why not a doc like Keller or a scientist like Sam and McKay?"

Looking at him, considering, "well, I guess I wanted to be a shrink, because I don't like the blood and guts part of medicine. In psychiatry, I get the patient after the physical wounds are healing or are healed. I get to help them put their lives back together and I guess following in Sam's footsteps just didn't appeal to me."

Smiling at her, "I'm sure glad that you didn't follow her into the air force."

Weaving her arm around his waist and resting her head on his shoulder, "me too." and looking down at her tablet in her hand, an email catches her eye and lifting her head up, "you have got to be kidding me!"

Looking at her, "what is it?"

Opening up the email, she breaks down in a fit of laughter and turning her head to look at him she holds up the tablet and shows it to him.

Looking at it, it takes his mind a second to realize what he is seeing. Realization dawning, he also cracks up laughing, "that's...just...priceless."

Getting her laughter under control, she looks at the screen again. On it is a picture of Daniel and Mitchell dressed in women's clothing, wearing pissed off and embarrassed expressions. Under the picture is a note from Carter, "just thought you'd like to see the latest. Daniel and Cam lost a bet with Vala and Teal'c. Hope all is well. Miss you and hope to see you soon. Love Sam."

Looking up at him from the tablet, "this just made my day. I'm printing it out and adding it to the collection."

Eyebrow shooting up, "collection?"

Nodding, "yeah, this isn't the first time they've lost a bet. I've got to show this to Evan, he's gonna be pissed that he wasn't in on it."

Getting up and holding out his hand for her, "what do you mean?"

Taking his hand and walking with him into the corridor, heading for the transporter, "well, we got them pretty good a couple of times."

"But Lorne was here when Mitchell joined SG-1." he says, as they step into the transporter.

Hitting the screen, "yeah. But Jack, ah General O'Neill, is a bigger practical joker then all of them put together. So Evan and I had plenty of opportunities to play pranks on him, Daniel, Teal'c, Sam and the rest of the SG teams."

Stepping out of the transporter and heading for her quarters, "so my second in command is a good practical joker?"

Swiping them into her quarters, "one of the best."

Stopping in the middle of the room and stroking his chin, "hmm. I'm gonna have to see about that one." and realizing that she's already sitting on the couch, watching him, "so what movie?"

Shrugging, "oh I don't know. Go pick one." she says, as she stretches out her legs and rests them on the coffee table.

He heads over to the DVD rack and looking through them, he picks one out. As he walks over to the couch, "I hope you're in the mood for some Batman."

Taking the disc from him and putting it into the tablet, sitting on the coffee table, "I can always go for some Christian Bale. I think he was the best Batman ever."

Sighing, "oh, just make me feel old, why don't you?"

Leaning back against him, "what do you mean?"

"Well, I think Adam West was the best Batman."

Laughing, "I was referring to the film versions. Not the TV version."

Looking at her in complete amazement, "I've got to be the luckiest guy in two galaxies."

Leaning forward to hit the play button, "why?"

Pulling her back to him, "because you're mine."

Blushing, leaning in to kiss him and pulling away, "who says you're the only lucky one. I'd say I got just as lucky."

Smiling at her and slouching down on the couch, he focuses on the movie. She stares at him for a couple of seconds and as she leans back against him again, she feels him kissing her neck. He catches her in just the right spot, causing her to close her eyes, a soft moan escaping her lips. The next thing she knows, he is pulling her over to the bed and clothes are flying everywhere.

An hour later, lying next to him, she lifts her head up off his chest to look at him, "John?"

Raising an eyebrow at her, "are you trying to kill me?"

Smiling and climbing on top of him, "oh come on John. I know you want to." she says and leaning down, she kisses her way up his chest.

Closing his eyes, a smile on his lips, "yeah, you're right. I do." and opening them, he looks right into hers and flipping her over, he kisses her back.

Forty minutes later, finished making love, they fall asleep in each other's arms.

xxxx

The following morning, the alarm goes off and turning over with a moan, Lexi swats it off. Turning over onto her back, she smiles as John's arm pulls her into him and he nuzzles her neck, "good morning. I take it you want to sleep in."

Smiling and kissing him, "the thought had crossed my mind. But duty calls."

Returning the kiss and smile, "that it does." and climbing out of the bed, "you heading to the gym first or to see Teyla?"

Following him over to the dresser, slipping into her robe, which she takes off the back of the desk chair, "Teyla. I have a sparring session with Evan this afternoon." and pulling out a change of clothes, she catches the jealously flash in his eyes and grabbing the waistband of his boxers, pulling him into her, "John, you've really got to get over the fact that we were in a relationship. We're just friends now, nothing more."

Kissing her and pulling on a pair of track pants and a t-shirt, "I can't help it. He had you first."

Walking into the bathroom and turning on the shower, "yeah, but you have me now." and turning around to see him standing at the sink brushing his teeth, watching her, "and I have no plans on letting that change any time soon."

Leaning over and washing out his mouth, "good, cause I don't either." and watching her get in the shower, "I'm gonna go meet Ronon for a run, you want to grab lunch today?"

Shouting over the water, "I'll meet you in the mess, 1420?"

Also shouting over the water, "sounds good. See you then. Love you."

As he walks out of the bathroom, her "love you too." follows him out the door.

Meeting up with Ronon, they head out for their run.

Halfway through it, Ronon has to lunge out to stop him from missing the top step of the set of stairs they are about to run down, "whoa buddy, you okay?"

Feeling Ronon's hand on his shoulder, he pulls up, "yeah, thanks. That would've been nasty."

Taking a sip from his water bottle and eyeing him with concern, "where were you just then?"

Also taking a gulp of his water, "oh you know."

Raising an eyebrow in understanding, "oh yeah, right. That'd do it."

They run the rest of the route in silence. Finishing up at the mess, where they meet up with McKay for breakfast.

xxxx

After Lexi showered, she cleaned up her quarters and satisfied that everything was in order, she headed for the mess. Grabbing a couple of muffins, blueberry for her and chocolate chip for Teyla and a cup of coffee, she heads for the infirmary.

Walking in the doors, she heads for Keller's office first. Reaching it and seeing that Keller is not there, she heads further into the infirmary for Teyla's bed. As Teyla's bed comes into view, she smiles as she sees Teyla asleep and Keller typing notes on her chart.

Whispering, as she comes to a stop at the foot of the bed, "good morning Jen. How is she?"

Looking at her from the chart, smiling, "she's doing well. I'm gonna release her later this morning." she whispers back.

Taking a sip of her coffee and sitting down in the chair next to the bed, "can she have this?"

Eyeing the muffin, "give it a try. It's not what I would have chosen as her introduction back to solids, but I know she loves them."

Smiling, "great. Can I hang out here?"

Nodding and walking towards her office, "go ahead."

She watches Keller for a couple of seconds and as she brings her attention back to Teyla, she smiles as she sees her staring back at her.

Handing her the chocolate chip muffin, "Jen said you can give this a try. How're you feeling?"

Smiling and taking the muffin, "thank you for this and I am doing all right."

Watching her closely, "Teyla, it's okay to be freaked out by what you just went through."

Sighing and talking around bites of her muffin, "it is difficult to explain. I had thought that it would be simple enough to just put it behind me, but."

"But you're having a hard time doing so." and seeing her staring at her hand, "it's a phantom."

Looking up at her, confusion written across her face, "I'm sorry?"

Taking a sip of her coffee, "the feeling that keeps making you stare at your hand. It's a phantom memory. People who have lost limbs experience it as well."

Looking down at her hand again, "why does it happen and why is it happening to me?"

"It happens because your body is trying to cope with the loss. Eventually your mind will realize that the feeding hand is no longer there and the phantom feeling will disappear." and finishing her muffin, "as to why it's happening to you. I'd have to say that your mind took you to where you needed to go to convince not only yourself that you were a real Wraith queen, but the other Wraith as well."

Meeting her gaze, "but I have not lost anything."

Standing up and gently squeezing her shoulder, "yes you have. At least sub consciously you believe you have. But don't worry, it shouldn't last long."

Grimacing, "I hope you are right. Because this is not a feeling I like, or want to become used too."

"I believe once you're back in the swing of things, it'll dissipate quickly and you won't even remember feeling it. But, if you still do, let me know and we'll see what we can do about it." and changing the topic to something more cheerful, "has Torren seen you now that you're back to normal?"

Smiling, "yes. Kanaan brought him by yesterday. I have to admit, I missed being able to hold him."

Returning the smile and sitting back down, "that'll help you too. The more things you do that are part of your normal routine, the easier it'll be."

They talk for a little while longer, discussing this and that and as Lexi gets up to leave, "Lexi, thank you."

Raising an eyebrow, "for what?

"Well, after Kate died, I did not believe that I would find it easy to talk to anyone like I talked with her. You have proven me wrong and I just wanted to thank you for that."

Coming up to the side of the bed and leaning over to touch foreheads with her, "you're welcome. I'm glad that you feel comfortable enough to talk with me, it's what I'm here for." and as she pulls away and heads for the exit, "thank you for being here for me as well. I always wanted a sister."

Smiling as she watches Lexi walk out of the infirmary, "so did I." she says under her breath and leaning her head back against the pillow, she lets her eyes drift shut.

xxxx

Lexi had headed for her office after seeing Teyla and a few hours later, she is so caught up in paperwork that she startles as her radio goes off, "Colonel Sheppard to Dr. Carter."

Dropping her pen onto the desk and quickly reaching up to activate her radio, "go ahead John."

"Lexi, are you okay?"

Looking at the clock on her tablet, inwardly cursing that she has lost track of time, she gets up from her desk, hitting save on the document she was working on and heading out of her office, "I'm fine. I just got caught up in work. Sorry. I'm on my way to the mess now."

"No need."

She doesn't understand what he means, until she comes to a stop outside of the transporter and a few seconds later the doors open to reveal him standing there, picnic basket in hand.

Holding out his right hand for her to take, "I thought a trip to the south west balcony was in order. The weather's perfect for a picnic."

Smiling and taking his hand, she steps into the transporter and hitting the screen, "I couldn't agree more."

A few seconds later they are walking out onto the balcony and as they take a seat on the bench, "I saw Teyla in the mess when I went to get the food. She seems to be doing better, but."

Taking the sandwich he is handing her, "but what?"

Taking a bite of his sandwich, "well, she kept staring at her right hand."

Sighing and also taking a bite of her sandwich, "yeah, we talked about that. Don't worry about it. It'll go away as she comes to grips with everything. It's just gonna take some time."

Matching her sigh, "but why is she staring at it?"

Taking another bite of her sandwich, talking around it, "because, it's a phantom."

Taking a sip of his water, "oh. Right." he says, understanding what she is talking about having seen enough soldiers come back with missing limbs.

They sit in silence for a while, John watching the sky and Lexi watching him, finishing their sandwiches. As she watches him, it hits her how quiet he is and taking his hand in hers, "penny for your thoughts."

Turning his head to look at her, he smiles, "you better have more than just a penny."

Returning the smile, "I've been saving up, so don't worry. I've got plenty."

Smile leaving his face and staring back out at the sky, "I'm worried that we might've made things worse, by leaving Todd in control."

Squeezing his hand and also watching the sky, marveling at the cloudlessness of it, "well, there's only one thing we can do and that's to wait and see." and standing up as a thought strikes her, "come with me."

"Where?"

Starting to pack up everything in the basket, "I think we need to get out of here for a while."

Standing up and taking the basket from her, "Lexi, what are you talking about? We can't just go someplace else."

Pulling him through the doors and heading for the transporter, "oh I don't know about that. You took me somewhere the first night I was here."

Stopping short and staring at her, "you want to go for a Jumper ride?"

Smiling and pulling him into the transporter, hitting the screen for the Jumper bay, "yes and I'll even take the blame when Woolsey has a cow about it."

Frowning and stepping out of the transporter in the Jumper bay, "we really shouldn't."

Pouting at him, "oh come on John. Please." and pulling him towards his Jumper, "and since when have you been afraid to do things without permission?"

Seeing the pout and allowing himself to be pulled into the Jumper, "I'm not afraid. I just don't want to have to deal with Woolsey."

Letting go of his arm and heading for the co-pilot's seat, "I already said that I would deal with him."

Feeling the familiar pull of the Jumper, he smiles and after placing the basket in the secure netting hanging from the ceiling of the Jumper, he comes to sit in the pilot's seat, tapping his radio, as he goes through the short pre flight, "Colonel Sheppard to flight."

"Go ahead Colonel."

Flying the Jumper up out of its berth, "I'm taking Jumper one out for a test flight. It seemed a little shaky last time out."

"Understood, Banks out."

The radio link closed, he looks over at Lexi, "happy?"

Smiling and looking out of the window, "yes, extremely. Thanks."

He chuckles at the look of happiness on her face and turning his attention back to flying, he flies them around the city. They fly in silence for about twenty minutes, each enjoying the flight and each other's company. As usual he feels himself slipping into the zone he usually enters when flying. The one where he feels as if nothing can touch him and it's just him and the wide expanse of sky. He gets so caught up in it that he startles as he feels her hand on his arm.

Turning his head to look at her again, seeing the smile, "what?"

Leaning back in her seat, "feel better?"

Sighing, "yeah, actually I do. How'd you know?"

"It's your addiction."

"Wait, what?"

Chuckling at the look of confusion and worry warring on his face, "John, it's nothing to worry about. You're a pilot it's in your blood. So obviously you're gonna feel better when you're up here flying." and seeing the smile that forms on his lips, "and I know I don't have to tell you that there are thousands of pilots on Earth that would kill to fly a Jumper."

Looking back out at the ocean, as he has set the Jumper to hover, "yeah, I guess you're right." and looking at her again, "you want to fly it don't you?"

Plastering an innocent smile on her face, "who me?"

Rolling his eyes at her and standing up, "oh don't even try that with me." and switching seats with her and seeing her take the Jumper out of hover mode, "now, promise you won't do what you did..."

He swallows the rest of the words, as she pilots the Jumper into a dive and just as he thinks they're going to crash into the ocean again, she levels out and sets it to hover.

Looking over at him and smiling wide, "you were saying?"

Before he can answer, the radio goes off, "Jumper one this is flight, Lexibeth are you flying the Jumper again?" Lorne's voice asks over it.

They look at each other for a couple of seconds and they can't help but break down in laughter as the situation is just like the last time.

Getting her laughter under control, she reaches up to tap her radio, "yeah Evan." and looking over at John, covering the radio, "déjà vu all over again."

Also getting his laughter under control and standing up, he lets her slide by him and taking the pilot's chair, he opens up his radio, "Major, what can we do for you?"

"Well sir, Woolsey is having a cow that you took a Jumper without doing the paperwork, again."

Sighing, "tell him we're on our way back. Sheppard out." and looking over at Lexi, after shutting off his radio, "I am so not dealing with him when we get back."

Smiling at him, "as I said. I'll take care of it."

Nodding his head, he focuses on flying them back and as soon as they're docked, they stand and head for the back of the Jumper. Hitting the release, they're a little surprised to find Lorne standing there, "Major, what're you doing here?" John asks, taking the basket down from where he stowed it at the beginning of the flight.

Looking over his shoulder and back at them, "I'm here to warn you take the transporter. Like I said Woolsey's pissed."

Frowning and looking at Lexi, "you sure you got this?"

Shaking her head and pointing at the transporter, "go. I'm good. I'll see you tonight."

Turning to head for the transporter, "good luck. Thanks Lorne."

Watching him get into the transporter, "no problem sir." and turning to face Lexi, "how're you going to get out of this one?"

Heading for the stairs that lead down into the Control room, "come and see for yourself." she says with a smile.

Falling into step with her, "so. If you survive this, we still on to spar?"

Nodding as they reach the bottom of the stairs and head for Woolsey's office, "you bet." and knocking on the door, "Mr. Woolsey, you wanted to see me?"

Looking up from his tablet, anger written across his face, "yes, Dr. Carter." and seeing that Lorne is with her, but not John, "where is Colonel Sheppard?"

Walking into the office and standing in front of the desk, Lorne standing right next to her, "he doesn't need to be here for this."

Looking from her to Lorne and back again, bewildered, "and why not? He was the one flying the Jumper. Was he not?"

Smiling, "yes he was. But I was the one who suggested we use it."

Scratching his head in confusion, "but why did you chose to use the Jumper?"

"Well, we were in session and I figured the easiest place for him to open up to me, would be the place where he feels most comfortable."

Realization dawning, "oh, right. That's very smart."

Looking at Lorne, who is staring at her in shock and back, "thank you sir. I'm sorry that I didn't fill out the paperwork. I'll have it for you first thing tomorrow."

Smiling and refocusing on his tablet, "see that you do. Have a good evening."

Turning and waiting for Lorne to follow her, "thank you and you do the same."

They walk out of Woolsey's office and as they reach the transporter, "you amaze me sometimes, you know that?" Lorne says, as he swipes the control panel to open the doors.

Getting in, smiling at him and hitting the screen for crew quarters, so they can change, "I know."

Reaching their respective quarters, they change and meeting up in the gym, they spar for an hour. Afterwards they head to the mess for some dinner and when they're finished he walks her back to her quarters. They say good night and after watching him turn the corner heading for his quarters, she swipes herself into hers.

xxxx

Stepping inside, she smiles as John's eyes meet hers, tracking her as she walks over to the bed, where he is sitting reading a report, "so. How did you get out of it?" he asks, as she climbs up onto the bed.

Crawling up to him, kissing him and pulling away, "I told him we were in session."

Spluttering, "you what?"

Climbing out of the bed and heading for the bathroom, "I told him we were in session and he was fine with it."

Throwing the report on the bedside table and following her into the bathroom, "Lexi, you do realize what you've just done, right?"

Getting undressed, "John, I've done absolutely nothing."

Frowning, "but now he's gonna expect me to talk with you."

Pulling him close to her and looking him in the eyes, "no he won't. He knows that you don't talk unless you want too."

"But how does he know that?"

Standing on her toes, kissing him and pulling away, "cause I told him."

Grimacing, "when?"

Unbuttoning his BDU shirt and pulling it off, "when you had pneumonia, we talked."

Pulling off the rest of his clothes and getting in the shower with her, "I really wish you hadn't."

Wrapping her arms around his neck, "why? Because he now knows that you'd rather be the one in harms way?"

Running his hands over her back, "yeah."

Rolling her eyes, "you're insufferable you know that? It's not a secret around here that you'd give your life for any one of us."

"But."

"No John, I don't want to hear it. We've had this discussion before and like I've said the last thousand times we've had it, just accept it." she says, as she leans in to kiss him and as she pulls away, "okay?"

He looks at her for a couple of seconds, considering everything and as he turns off the shower, "okay."

Twenty minutes later, dressed in sweats and t-shirts they're lying in bed, Lexi reading a book and John reading another report.

Dropping the report across his chest and groaning, "I really hate reading reports."

Sticking the bookmark in the book, placing it on the bedside table and turning over to look at him, "well I know of something that's a lot more fun than reading them."

Eyeing her suspiciously, "what did you have in mind?"

She climbs on top of him and taking the report, tossing it on the floor, she leans down and starts to kiss him, tracing her lips from his neck to his lips, After a couple of seconds, she smiles as he flips her onto her back and kisses her back.

Half an hour later lying in his arms, listening to his breathing, soft and steady, she falls asleep with a smile on her lips.

  


  
  
  
  



	41. Chapter 41

  


Three weeks later, McKay is sitting in his lab, working on a project. He looks up at the sound of someone clearing their throat, "how long have you been standing there? he asks, as he realizes who it is.

Pushing himself off the doorframe and walking into the lab, "oh you know, long enough. It's pretty late, why don't you leave that till tomorrow?" John says, as he walks into the lab.

Shaking his head, "oh come on Sheppard. When in the past five years have we ever gone to bed at a decent hour?"

Taking a seat on the stool opposite of McKay, grimacing, "very true. Anyway, the Daedalus arrives tomorrow."

Zeroing in on some information that the simulation he was running, just spit out, "uh huh."

Picking up a device that is sitting on the table in front of him, turning it over in his hand, "and that means that Dr. Jackson will be arriving along with it."

Looking up from his tablet, an annoyed look on his face, "what are you talk.." and seeing the device in John's hand, snatching it away from him, "do you mind? This is a very sensitive device."

Smiling and getting up from the stool, "sorry."

Rolling his eyes and placing the device back on the table, out of John's reach, "you were saying that Dr. Jackson is arriving tomorrow?"

Nodding, "Yeah. Woolsey expects us to meet him in the Gate room tomorrow morning." and walking out the door, talking over his shoulder, "just wanted to let you know. I'll swing by around 0930. Get some sleep Rodney."

McKay watches him go and a couple of seconds later his attention is brought back to his tablet, as it beeps at him. Refocusing on it, he loses himself in his work again, pushing the information about Daniel out of his mind.

xxxx

Leaving McKay's lab, John takes a look at his watch and shakes his head at the time. Swiping the control panel for the transporter, "Lexi next." he says under his breath, as the doors open and stepping in, he hits the screen for the section where her office is.

Stepping out of the transporter, he walks down the corridor and as the doors to her office come into view, he stifles a sad chuckle, as they are open and the lights are on.

Leaning against the doorframe, he smiles to himself as she is sitting at her desk, fully engrossed in what she is reading on her tablet. Running his eyes over the desk, he takes in the papers scattered across it and as his eyes come to rest on the waste paper basket, seeing it full of coffee cups, "you're worse then McKay."

Looking up at the sound of his voice, "what do you mean?"

Walking into the office and taking a seat across from her, "isn't it past your bed time?"

Scowling, "when did you become my dad?"

Leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees, "about the time you decided to spend the past forty eight hours locked up in here." and standing up, he comes around to lean against the desk, looking down at her, "what are you working on anyway?"

Leaning back in her chair, running her hands over her face and through her hair, "Jen asked me to take a look at these patient files and the symptoms they're showing reminded me of something that I've seen before."

Looking from the tablet screen to her and back, "where?"

Sighing and refocusing on her tablet again, mousing through more of the windows that are open on it, "that's the problem. I can't remember and it's bugging the hell out of me." she growls in frustration and out of the corner of her eye, she doesn't miss his grip tightening on the edge of the desk. She looks up at him, catching the flicker of fear that shoots through his eyes, "oh, John. I'm sorry. I know that you hate that word."

Realeasing his death grip on the desk and staring out of one of the windows, "don't ah...don't worry about it." he says, as he takes a couple of deep breaths to calm his nerves and getting up he looks down at her, "hey, why don't we head to bed and you can get a fresh start in the morning?"

Reaching out for his hand, she squeezes it and smiling up at him, "are you okay?"

Squeezing back and returning the smile, "yeah, I'm good."

"John."

Frowning at her, "Lexi. I'm fine. Let's just go to bed."

Standing up, she leans in and kisses him and as she pulls away, "I really should stay and work on this."

Pulling her into him, he kisses her back and as he pulls away, "but can't it wait till tomorrow?"

Looking him in the eyes, seeing the hint of pleading in them, "yeah it can." and pulling him towards the doors, "let's go get some sleep."

Smiling as he drapes his left arm over her shoulders, "so are you excited about seeing Dr. Jackson?"

Weaving her left arm around his waist and mentally shutting off the lights, "you mean Daniel?"

Reaching the transporter and swiping the control panel, "yeah."

Hitting the screen for the crew quarters section, "most definitely. I can't wait to tease him about that photo."

Stepping out of the transporter, "oh yeah, I completely forgot about that." and heading for her quarters, she explains what she's been researching a little more and as soon as they reach her quarters, they head for the bathroom to get ready for bed.

Twenty minutes later as they're getting into the bed, "Lexi?"

Rolling over and propping her head up on her left hand, she frowns at the look on his face, "what wrong?"

Running his hand over the back of his neck, "ah, um. Will I ah."

Seeing his uneasiness, "you want to know if you'll always have a problem with bugs?"

Grimacing at the word, "yeah, how'd you know?"

Letting her head drop tiredly against the pillow, "wild guess."

"Good guess. But..."

Sighing and looking him in the eyes, "you want my honest medical opinion or my, I love you and I don't want you to worry opinion?"

Not breaking eye contact, "your medical opinion."

Frowning, "John, in my medical opinion, you'll always have an issue with them."

Matching her frown, "is it normal though?"

Smiling and trying to keep her eyes open, "yes it is perfectly normal. After everything you've been through with them, it's not hard to understand why. So don't worry about it, okay?"

Pulling her close to him, "okay. It's just you know."

Yawning, "I know."

Seeing the yawn, "so sleep?"

Yawning again and mentally shutting off the lights, "sounds like a really good plan." she says.

A few seconds later, he smiles to himself as he feels her breathing even out and closing his eyes, he also falls asleep.

xxxx

"Hey, I thought you were going to be in session today?"

Lexi looks up at the sound of John's voice from her doorway and smiles at him, "I am, but I'm also doing research. It's called multi tasking. I know you know about it."

Coming to sit in one of the chairs opposite of her, "I think I might. Any luck?" he asks, waving at her tablet.

Sighing, "no, not yet." and getting up from her chair, walking around the desk to lean against it, looking down at him, "what brings you by?"

"Well I thought we could go hit some golf balls. Teyla is spending time with Kanaan and Torren, Ronon is with Keller and McKay is helping Dr. Jackson."

Smiling, "sure, I could do with a break. Since I'm planning on pulling another all nighter tonight."

Frowning, as he gets up and falls into step next to her, heading out for the transporter, "I guess that means I'm on my own tonight?"

Stepping into the transporter, "yeah. Sorry." and as they step out of it in the crew quarters section, "I really want to figure out where I've seen these symptoms before."

Reaching her quarters, "I guess I can find something to keep me busy." and watching her grab her golf bag, "just promise me that you won't make this a habit."

Falling into step with him as they walk to his quarters, "I promise."

He swipes them into his quarters and grabbing his golf bag, they head out for the driving range. Reaching it they practice their swings for a couple of hours, each trying to out hit the other and laughing the whole time. When they finish they head to the mess and grab a quick lunch, after which they drop their clubs off at their respective quarters. With a kiss, she leaves him at his office and sitting down at his desk, he starts going through the paper work that has piled up.

xxxx

Three hours later, after working his way through all the paper work that was in his inbox, as well as putting out a couple of fires between the botany and physics departments, he gets a radio call from the Zelenka.

"Zelenka to Colonel Sheppard."

Reaching up to activate his radio, "Sheppard here, go ahead doc."

"Colonel, Rodney and Dr. Jackson have found Janus's lab and it is located on the south pier, corridor six, level three."

Getting up from his chair and heading for the transporter, "anything else I need to know about?"

"Yes. The door is hidden by harmonic resonance."

Stepping into the transporter and hitting the screen, "what?"

"Harmonic resonance is where sound is used to disrupt the particles of something solid, such as a wall. You will be able to walk right through it."

Stepping out of the transporter and heading for corridor six, "good to know. Thanks, doc. Sheppard out."

A few seconds later he is walking around the corner into corridor six and seeing the wall that leads to the lab, he takes a deep breath and walks right through. Looking back at the solid wall he's just walked through, "whoa. That's pretty cool."

Watching John, annoyance written across his face, "harmonic resonance."

Still looking back at the wall, "yeah, I was told. But what happens if the sound goes off and you're in the middle of the...wall?"

"Well, the wall would break apart your body."

Turning to face McKay, "maybe we should, uh..."

"I've set up a sub-sonic tone generator outside." and walking towards another console, "the wall is now permanently open. Don't worry."

Looking back at the wall again, "good. So what do we got?"

Turning around to face John and McKay, "well, the good news is it's definitely Janus's secret lab. The bad news is getting in was the easy part." Daniel answers.

Looking up at John, who is playing with a stone of some sort, "there are levels of encryption on all of the data here that even the most paranoid NSA agent wouldn't use. I mean it is deep." McKay says, a little frustration inching into his voice.

Walking over to sit next to McKay, "some of them are straight up math ciphers while others are ancient knowledge puzzles."

"And until we start deciphering, there's no way to tell what any of this stuff does."

Smiling and looking at McKay and Daniel, "sounds like you guys make a good team, though."

Grimacing, "hmm." McKay says.

Daniel looks up from his notebook at McKay, "yeah."

John puts down the stone and placing his hands on his hips, "well, I guess I'll go back to being the boss."

"How's that going?" McKay asks.

Grimacing, "pretty boring, actually."

Looking from him to the console, his lips twitching in a small smirk, "well, you're more than welcome to help us crack this first stream cipher." and looking at Daniel from the corner of his eye, "you know, um, he could've been in Mensa."

Catching the grin on Daniel's face as well as the laugh that McKay tries to stifle, he glares at them, "why don't you contact me when you two geniuses have a breakthrough?"

Quickly looking at John, "will do."

John turns to leave and McKay and Daniel get down to work. As John walks out of the room, no one notices the small device on the podium that has a blinking red light on it.

xxxx

From the lab, John heads for the transporter and getting in he hits the screen for the mess hall. A few minutes later he is walking into it, heading for the food line. Grabbing a tray he fills it up and heads for the balcony. Walking out onto it he catches sight of Lorne sitting at a table and walking up to him, "mind if I join you Major?"

Placing his cup down and swallowing, "sure sir. So, is it true that McKay and Jackson found Janus's lab?"

Sitting down and taking a bite of his sandwich, "yeah. Lots of new Ancient stuff for McKay to pester me with."

Smiling, "I guess I'm lucky that I'm heading off world tonight."

Talking around his sandwich, "you can say that again."

Looking down at his watch, "speaking of which, I should get going." and getting up, "with your permission?"

Nodding, "yeah, Lorne. Stay safe."

Walking towards the exit, "thanks sir."

Watching him go and realizing that he is not really as hungry as he thought he was, John gets up and after grabbing another sandwich, he heads out for the transporter. Getting in, he hits the screen for the section where Lexi's office is.

A few minutes later, he walks around the corner of the corridor and smiles as he sees the doors are open. Knocking on the doorframe, "knock, knock. Feel like something to eat?"

Sitting at her desk for the past few hours, completely focused on the research she has been doing, Lexi just wants to pull out her hair. Looking up at him from her tablet, "food sounds great." and taking a look at her watch, she lets out a sigh, "remind me to have a chat with Jen when she gets back."

Laughing as he takes a seat across from her and hands her the sandwich, "let me guess. You're ready to wring her neck for asking you to do this."

Talking around her sandwich, "no. It's been a while since I've done this type of research and it's something that I've missed. I want to thank her."

Raising an eyebrow, "Lexi, you promised you wouldn't make a habit out of this."

Scowling at him, "I know I did and don't worry, I don't plan on making it a habit. It's just nice to get back to doing research."

Shaking his head, "so I take it that means that I can't convince you to come to bed?"

Smiling at him, she stands up and walking around her desk she takes a seat on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and looking him in the eyes, "two nights in a row. Are you getting over protective of me or did you have something else in mind?"

Blushing, "yes, I am getting over protective of you. But if I had something else in mind as well, you can't blame me for it."

Taking his chin in her hand, she kisses him and as she pulls away, "no I can't. But that'll have to wait. Like I told you earlier, it's another all nighter for me. I've got to figure this out, before it drives me crazy."

Sighing and leaning in to kiss her, he smiles through it and pulling away, "okay. But tomorrow night."

Smiling back at him, "if I've figured it out, then yes. "

Frowning, "no, even if you haven't figured it out, you're not pulling another all nighter."

Matching his frown, standing up and walking back around her desk, "okay, seriously you sound just like my dad, John and that's just a little scary."

Breaking into a large grin, standing up and coming around the desk as well, he pulls her into him, "I'm sorry. It's just that it wasn't too long ago that you worked yourself into getting sick."

Resting her head on his chest, trying to hide a yawn, "if I remember correctly, I'm not the only one to have done that recently."

Not wanting to get into a fight, he pulls away and leans down to kiss her again. Pulling away, he heads for the doors, "all right. I'll see you later."

Watching him go, she smiles to herself and sitting back down she refocuses on her tablet. Letting herself get lost in the research again.

xxxx

Around 1030 the following morning, tiredly scrubbing her eyes, Lexi smiles to herself, finally having figured out where she had last seen the list of symptoms. Satisfied that she has done all she can, she hits the save button and drags herself back to her quarters.

Three hours later, she is woken up by the sound of John's voice coming over the P.A. system in her room, "Colonel Sheppard to Dr. Carter."

Groggily rolling over onto her right side and picking up her radio, inserting it into her ear, "go ahead John, what's up?"

"I was just wondering where you are."

Smiling to herself, "I'm in bed."

"I guess that means you figured it out?"

"Yes I did." and frowning as she can detect a hint of stress in his voice, "what's wrong?"

Sighing, "McKay and Dr. Jackson have been taken and Zelenka is trying to figure out how to find them."

Sitting up straight in the bed, "oh my g-d! Is everyone else okay?"

"Yeah. There was a small explosion, but we're all okay. I just wanted to let you know that I'm gonna be heading off base as soon as Zelenka figures something out."

Slumping against the pillows and letting out a breath, "okay. Love you and be careful."

"Ditto and I'm always careful. I'll see you when I get back. Get some sleep."

Chuckling under her breath, "that's what I was doing. Carter out."

The radio link closed, she takes out her radio and placing it on the bedside table she lies back down under the blankets. She falls asleep quickly and is completely unaware of what is about to happen to the Stargate, John and everyone else.

  


  
  
  
  



End file.
